A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I had been dating a man for just over a year. We had spoken of getting married ETC. He suffers from depression therefore it was not uncommon for him to be distant sometimes. A few months ago he told me that he would like to leave things be, and as I love him I respected his decision. As I wanted him to know that I'm still here for him I have contacted him a couple of times simply by text just to say hello, and that I hope he's well. I also asked him if he would return my things which were at his home. So far he's been ignoring me, and my things haven't been returned. He is a lovely man, and I bear him no ill will. From a mans point of view why is he ignoring my requests re my things, as he's the one who ended the relation ship. Thank you very much.K.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): When my ex boyfriend and i split i asked him for a number of items to be returned to me yes they were expensive but not irreplaceable he never returned anything so eventualy over a period of time i replaced them myself an i also replaced him
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 My fiance refused to return things to his ex (many years ago)
when I asked him why "did you LIKE the butter dish?" his response: "no not really, and it's not worth anything but SHE wanted it and I didn't want her to have it"
she left him and hurt him so this was how he hurt her back.
it's childish and immature.... and I don't agree with it but that's a man's POV (at least my man's)\
to be honest honey unless they are priceless family heirlooms that you cannot replace in any way shape or form, let it go... it's not worth the headache for a few things that can probably be replaced.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Call him and tell him you will be there on such and such a day, at such and such a time and you would appreciate it if he would allow you to collect your things.
He may say no. Think very carefully about the things you want returned, are they of value, monetary or sentimental.
Decide how important your things are, and if you really need or want them or if you are just using them as a way to keep in touch.
Consider your options carefully.
If he says no, and wont give you a day and a time when it will be convenient for you to collect them, accept he isn't interested in your or your belongings. You will have to decide if they are valuable enough to you to involve the police, or just write the relationship off as a bad experience and a timely lesson to not leave your belongings anywhere but at home.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Hi
Perhaps he thought you let him go too easily, you didn't try to persuade him to reconsider? In which case he would think you didn't care much, his depression would let him think the worst.
I would either call him and arrange a time or simply just go round for your things,when you think he is in.Go with a friend to help.If he doesn't answer the door or call then suggest he boxes the things up and gets them to you somehow.As its been a few months you may have to right them off though, could be he threw them out and has moved on.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 My guess is that he's ignoring your requests because he doesn't want to deal with them, the emotional fall out is too difficult for him to handle.
Do you have any mutual friends? Have one of them come with you when you stop by and ask for your things.
You stop by and ask for your things when you know he's home.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Give him a call and ask him when you can go get your stuff.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (26 September 2012):
 He's not sure he wants it to be completely o-v-e-r. That is my guess. He wanted some distance. Maybe some space. But he's not ready to let go of your things because that seems too final. Like there will be no going back once those things are gone. He may be having under-lying form of second thoughts. Try dropping by his place when you know he's there. Hopefully he'll answer the door. If he does sit down and talk to him, see how he's doing. What's new. What has he been going through. If things seem weird ask for the things back. If he seems happy to see you, wait. It may be a sign that the relationship can continue, just at a slower pace. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (26 September 2012):
 I am not sure why he is ignoring your requests. He may think you secretly want to get things going again but I do think he owes you your things back. If he would be able to get them all together then aske that he box them up and leave them at your doorstep. If you need to go there and get them (because he wouldn't be able to figure out what is yours, etc) then ask him (as the other poster did) for the time you can come and get your things.
I would tell him you wish him no ill will but that you would like to move forward and getting your things will help you close that door.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Call him up and ask him when you can go pick up your stuff.
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