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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am in a loving an monogamous long-distance relationship. It's been going swimmingly even though we're both in college. When we do get to see each other (about 5 out of every 30 days) we generally have a lot of sex and its been amazing. The only issue is, my girlfriend only seems to orgasm when she is on top. This worries me because I'm scared she may get bored or something. I try to do other positions after her first initial orgasm, but she complains that its sensitive and hurts so we just finish up after she's done. I have a very average and plain penis, so deep penetration and other such things are beyond my anatomical scope. Any advice on ways to get her off that aren't oral sex or girl on top? Do I just need to last for a really long time?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Why should she get bored ? You can try all the positions of Kamasutra for fun, until she is on the verge of coming,then she can finish on top, where's the problem ?
Do you ever tire of coming through masturbation ? :) Still, it 's always the same old hand, isn't it ?
You - and her- really have nothing to complain about, she's found TWO foolproof, consistent ways to reach orgasm, some women can't even find one !
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 She can orgasm with you? LUCKY her. LUCKY YOU. I’m not sure Why you want to worry about something like this… it’s not really a problem. I have never had an orgasm from penetration and I’m 52 with many partners in the past.
Some women are sensitive after an orgasm and don’t’ want any more stimulation… she’s told you she’s one of these women why do you ignore what she’s telling you and insist on being a porn star…. Why do you think that it will get boring? Do you think that having multiple positions in any given sexual encounter is important? It’s not.
In fact, orgasms during sex are nice but not critical for most women… it’s the closeness and the affection that matter…
An average and plain penis (what other kind of penis is there but plain? Do you mean pierced.. ewww)…. Sounds lovely.
DEEP penetration hurts. The most nerve endings are in the front of the vagina anyway. If you go for deep penetration you hit the cervix which moves the uterus which moves the fallopian tubes which jostles the ovaries. MUCH LIKE BEING KICKED IN THE BALLS... DON'T do it.
Again I think too much porn is in your past and you are not basing life sexual acts with a loving partner on reality but rather on what you THINK it should be based on porn.
STOP overthinking this. She has orgasms with you. My husband would be insanely happy if I could have an orgasm with him in any way shape or form. You are lucky and so is she. RELAX!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 There is no issue. You can bring her to an orgasm in two different ways, thats two ways more than most other men can. If she wants more variety she can masturbate. It isn't all about the orgasm you know, a woman, and men too, enjoy sex without orgasms.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): she gets an orgasm when she's on top? well that's much more than most women get! don't worry she won't get bored.
female orgasm is not about position or deep penetration. it's about clitoral stimulation. she gets an orgasm when she's on top because she can adjust her angle, adjust her pace, and touch you with her clit.
if her clit is close to her opening, any position with you facing her stimulates her clit. don't worry if she doesn't orgasm every single time. she enjoys the intercourse.
but if the clit is too high, then there is not much you can do other than going down on her. Or buy her a butterfly (it's a popular vibrator). use it AFTER intercourse, not before.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (28 November 2012):
I've never known a girl get bored of oral sex but yes if you always do the same thing it will become less exciting. Use your fingers if you dont already. But learn quickly what she likes, I think most women prefer a kind of massaging rather than rubbing (of the clitoris) but I think many women enjoy jumping on top for an orgasm because she can control the amount ofrubbing and pleasure etc etc. Maybe she thinks this is the only way she can orgasm and maybe it is. But talk with her, and relax, and whatever you do dont give the impression you arent satisfied. It will be very counterproductive If you both get stressed over this!!
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (28 November 2012):
 I see what you mean, you are scared she will get bored of going the same way every time. First ask her if she is worried about that as well, it's possible she has no problem with only finishing one way if it works best for her. Other possibilities for getting her off would be to use your hands or she uses her own hands to stimulate her clitorus while penetrating her. I get that she is sensitive after having just orgasmed, so trying using your hands the first time you have sex rather than after she has already gone. Good positions for this are from behind while laying down or 'spooning', you can reach your hand over and stimulate her. You could also do from behind or 'doggy style' and reach your arm around. You can lay together and face each other, sometimes it can hit the right spot and she can go without needing to stimulate her or she/you can use your hand again. When going this way have her leg draped over your torso and pull her in close but allow her to control the speed and movements. You can also try having sex with you on top, her facing you, and she places her butt on a couple of pillows to raise her lower body, sometimes you can hit a good spot that way too. There are many different things you can try so you don't have to be resigned to only one position. And the good news is it is always fun to try. It's up to her. If none of those work you can always fall back to her orgasming from the tried and true on top position. It doesn't mean you can't do some others before finishing that way.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Why would she get bored of having orgasms? Do you?
Deep penetration, by that do you mean trying to hit her cervix or something? That's not very pleasurable for the vast majority of women. The more important thing for many women during penis in vagina sex is to stimulate her clitoris, just as your penis is being stimulated.
Have you tried manual stimulation of her clitoris in other positions during penetrative sex?
If she likes oral sex and has orgasms when you stimulate her that way, is there a problem with that? I assume you like oral sex when she stimulates you.
Stop worrying about your 'average and plain' penis, it's giving her orgasms, isn't it? I'd start thinking about using hands and fingers and toes and lips and tongues and all the various body parts that might bring her and you pleasure.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 November 2012):
 I'm failing to see the problem. She knows what gets her off and does it. Do get bored of your orgasms?
Also what does "very average and plain penis" mean? Women don't care about penises nearly as much as men think they do. Deep penetration is for guys, not women. It generally doesn't feel very good for women because it hits the cervix and that feels like you're being punched in the gut.
You don't need to do anything other than stop being insecure! She is enjoying sex. Generally if women stop enjoying sex they stop having orgasms and then stop having sex. She is clearly enjoying sex so stop worrying so much and just enjoy each other.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 If she is orgasming im pretty sure she will be pleased. And why not oral sex? Is that because you wont do it? or you think she will be bored of that too, because for the females ive been with, i dont think its posible for women to dislike oral if you're doing it right lol
Have you tried ASKING her what would help? As opposed to a group of strangers on the internet?
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