A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife lost her virginity to one man (had sex just once before me) and I have been fucking her three times a week for over twenty years. Has she forgotten about that first experience by now or will she always remember how it felt the first time? She has truthfully told me it was very quick and she got no enjoyment from it and pushed the guy off her, but it was painful and her panties were full of blood. She was very tight when we first did it and she bled a little bit. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 September 2012):
 Pretty sure she does remember it, but I BET YOU top dollar it's not a memory she cherish or think about a lot. More like a WTF was I thinking sleeping with THAT guy my first time? kind of thing.
WHY do you worry about this? What does it matter to you? What difference does it make for you?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I think the OP chickened out and deleted his account.
If you've been 'fucking her" thousands of times and hoping that will erase a painful memory from her memory banks, I see one of two possible scenarios One is that your loving care for her has helped and has likely eradicated any thought or concern for the awful first experience. The other is that the continual and resentful abuse of her sexual and mental well-being overshadows a singular, unhappy experience. Poor woman.
If the pain exists mostly in your head, seek counseling. Research retroactive jealousy.
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A
female
reader, lover06 +, writes (19 September 2012):
you are still wondering about her first time could be coz your just fucking her three times a week for 20 years now how about you start making love to her atleast once a week , even you'll forget her first time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 September 2012):
 why do you care?
btw do you ever make love to her or do you just fuck her?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I wondered about that too
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (18 September 2012):
The old adage says that everybody remembers the first time. My wife and I both remember our first times, which was actually the same first time - on our wedding night, over 35 years ago. Physically as well as emotionally an extremely intense experience for both of us.
Since you two have been together for so long it could be that she is experiencing a bit of retroactive remorse. If she has some regret about not waiting for you, she may prefer to dismiss a one-time event, especially if her attachment to that partner was miniscule compared to what has been built between you two over the years. Or, it could be that she feels guilt because there WAS some attachment to her first partner which now seems improper to her, in light of your current relationship.
Was she your first? There's also a chance that she doesn't care to think about her first time because it reminds her that YOU have had other partners.
Is she put-off by your interest in her previous experience? Let her know that it's no threat to you. Truth is, I think most guys like to know that other men find their wives attractive, even if we have no intention of letting that attraction become a physical reality.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (18 September 2012):
The old adage says that everybody remembers the first time. My wife and I both remember our first times, which was actually the same first time - on our wedding night, over 35 years ago. Physically as well as emotionally an extremely intense experience for both of us.
Since you two have been together for so long it could be that she is experiencing a bit of retroactive remorse. If she has some regret about not waiting for you, she may prefer to dismiss a one-time event, especially if her attachment to that partner was miniscule compared to what has been built between you two over the years. Or, it could be that she feels guilt because there WAS some attachment to her first partner which now seems improper to her, in light of your current relationship.
Was she your first? There's also a chance that she doesn't care to think about her first time because it reminds her that YOU have had other partners.
Is she put-off by your interest in her previous experience? Let her know that it's no threat to you. Truth is, I think most guys like to know that other men find their wives attractive, even if we have no intention of letting that attraction become a physical reality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): Is this really relevant to your marriage of over 20 years?
As long as you're the only one she's sexually active with now and she gets enjoyment out of it, should be all that matters.
To answer your question with my opinion, I'd say yes, she will most likely remember it. Who doesn't remember their first time provided they wasn't under the influence of alcohol/drugs or both when they did it?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (18 September 2012):
You obviously remember it so why wouldn't she? It would be an intellectual memory only though, not an emotional one. The only way I can explain it is by analogy.
Think of a song or food or a cologne that you once loved but don't any longer. You would have an intellectual memory of having loved it, but it wouldn't resonate with you in any other way. Make sense?
Is your wife around the same age as you? Presumably she lost her virginity 50 some odd years ago? Is there a particular reason why her sexual past is still an issue for you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): its a bit insensative of you to say such a thing to be honest. First time sex is usually awful - why compare yourself to an awful experience which it clearly was for her as she had "no exjoyment" and "pushed the guy off", does that sound like it was the thrill of a lifetime? No no no no NO!! She may not forget the first time as their is a lot of hype about it in our society. However what she will no doubt hold dear in the love making you have shared over the last twenty years - the tenderness, the passion, the closeness, the boldness and the fitting together like one piece. There is more to sex than "fucking" as you say, a hell of a lot more and i hope for her sake you know that.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Why would you even care if you've been together over 20 years? Of course nobody forgets losing their virginity...have you?
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