A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm in long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We both are sixteen years old. We met on facebook 2 months ago and he asked me for relationship after 1 month. I love him alot. Everything was going perfect between us. But today he changed his relationship status on facebook from being in relationship to single. I was hurt when he did it. Why did he do this if we were in relationship? He is really good person. I trust him but his this action made me hurt. I've been cheated before. I told my boyfriend that I'm hurt because you changed your relationship status to single, I asked him the reason. He said there is no reason behind it. He said he will send relationship request to me again on facebook. I'm confused now. Is he cheating behind my back? or Am I over reacting?
View related questions:
facebook, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe blocked me before I block him. He lied to me that he is deactivating his facebook, I found out that he blocked me from my other account. Thanks for your advices. I'm not going to listen to his crap again if he comes back to me. I deleted his number and all his messages.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 What did he want you to propose? What a crock of poo that he changed his facebook status to get you to do something… even if it is true do you want to be with such a game player.
Everyone is right you are a teen and young and “in love’ and won’t listen to us old wise aunties because you can’t even begin to imagine that we have been there and done that but we have.
We all have….
You love him. Why do you love him? Give me a list of all the perfect things about this boy that you love… his scent? Oh wait you ‘ve never met him have you?
HOW CAN YOU LOVE HIM?
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I am already aware that you won't listen to any advice here. Teenaged girls can be very hard headed when they think they are in love. I will talk to you anyway. When I was a teenager I thought I was in love with a boy across the country from me. He was my first "relationship" and knew I was in love, no one could ever feel the way we did for each other. Of course it didn't last, as yours won't either, because we were young and across the country... Incapable of meeting in person. And when one of us met someone in person it was done. He happened to be the first. I met a guy months later and found out it was true love and what I had online was all in my head.
Online "loves" play tricks on you. You really feel like you are so close and it is so real. When it's done you realize it wasn't, that you never even knew this person truly. You wont listen now but you will find out one day, believe me. I wouldn't listen to anyone when I was 16 either. They all ended up being right.
Now we are assuming he is even 16. You found out already you got into something with a married man so how do you know who this man really is? I watched a movie called catfish the other night. You may want to see it. It shows how easy you can lie to and manipulate people from behind a computer screen on Facebook. Asking for naked pictures of you is a huge red flag that he isnt someone you should be "dating". Even if he took back his request, he has already shown what he's really looking for. And now setting his status to single has solidified this.
This will all end soon enough and you will move on. Hopefully not to another online man... But a boy in person that you really know. Be smart with this boy too. Remember you don't really know him and even if you feel in love, you can't be in love after 2 months with a person you have never met. And he clearly is playing you and probably other girls on Facebook as well, be aware of this and don't be so quick to believe every little lie he tells you. Especially when it doesn't make any sense... There was no reason to change his status so don't believe the bs he is feeding you.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 " Quos perdere vult, deus prius dementat " ( When the gods want to ruin somebody, first they make them lose their mind ) - says the Aunt throwing her hands up in desperation.
You are so hell bent in clinging to this fantasy of " love ", that you are even willing to accept as a valid excuse some absurd BS that makes no logic sense whatsoever.
First he says there was no reason at all to change his status, then he says it was because he wanted you to propose to him ; which one is it ,then , it can't be both at the same time. And, "propose " what ? why ? weren't you supposed to ALREADY be a couple ? How were you supposed to guess that he wanted you to propose to him just from his changing his FB status ?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): I have been in the same position as you sweetie. I was young and thought I loved this guy as he would tell me things I want to hear, however 7 months on he was constantly asking for nude pictures and I'm not hat sort of girl. He then changed his relationship status to single which made me think he was cheating, I asked him and he denied it. 2 months later I found out he was cheating on me with his ex.
Be careful darling, I would end the relationship sooner rather than later. Best of luck X
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-long-distance-boyfriend-asked-me-to-share.html may help the aunts guide you in this case.
Set your status to 'single' immediately, delete him as a friend on FB and block him. You are being scammed. The guy is a troll who probably cultivates sweet young naive girls as online friends and then tries to get sexy pictures from them. He probably isn't a delightful young man either, he's probably a lot older and has other fake profiles as well.
Delete him from your life, shake off the dust and thank goodness you haven't compromised yourself by sending him naked pictures. He's a creep!
Please try to spend more time interacting with people in real life and less time on FB, okay? It'll be better for you in the long run.
And one more note: if you can't tell your mother about something you are doing, it's probably not a good idea. It shows that you can't stand behind your actions.
...............................
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (25 September 2012):
The other respondants obviously have more background knowledge of your situation than I do. When I read your post my reaction was that he is up to no good and a bit of a conman.
Someone closer to home who you really do trust will be a better bet.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering and yes he is the same boyfriend but he said sorry later for asking such pics. He said he is ready to wait for me to have sex. He sent me voice mail, he said that he wanted me to propose him that's why he changed his relationship status to single and he changed it to in a relationship again. I really do love him. He is not a bad person. But I'm still suspicious. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or not. He says he loves me alot.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 September 2012):
If Cindy is right, and he is the same boyfriend that wanted naked pics as proof of your love, and now that you refused to send them is putting his relationship status back to single then the writing is clearly ON THE WALL (pun for facebook intended).
Honey, he is only after ONE thing and that's SEX SEX and MORE SEX...
he does not care about YOU... I Have to be honest, I think that Long distance relationships are difficult for adults who know each other at best... and sadly for teens that have met online...a pure sham... painful to hear but true...
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 September 2012):
This must be the same lovely boyfriend that few days ago asked you to send him your naked pics " as a proof of your love ".
Today , he loves you so much that has become single again.
Wake up , darling, this guy is hooking up on line , and probably collecting naked pics, with multiple girls. Of curse that's easier if he calls himself single.
Overreacting ?... I'd say, that for a girl who found her previous bf on line only to found much later that he was married all along, you are underreacting. What about a bit less of blind trust and gullibility ?
...............................
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Is he the same guy who asked you to send naked pictures of yourself? If yes, this could be a form of exerting pressure on you to comply with his wishes. The other agony aunts told you yesterday that he isn't the right guy for you. But if you wish to continue this online affair, you will only get hurt in the future, much more than you are now. Take my advice, OP. Dump him.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 That sounds like a cowardly way to dump someone, but I don't really see any way of reading it other than he wants to break up. Sorry.
...............................
|
