A
male
age
51-59,
*eterFallow
writes:TLDR; Attractive young woman got drunk, made overt moves on me and kissed my wife. What to do?This past weekend, my wife and I attended a party with a few friends as we try to do every other weekend. There has been a recent addition to our group, a young woman with ties to one of the other couples. She fits right in - likes all the things we like, etc. etc. My wife has been very vocal about how much she likes this woman since she's joined in. I'll refer to her as Trouble from here one out to preclude confusion.Back to Saturday night - dinner went off nicely, and there was an incident where "Trouble" quoted one of my favorite quote of all time - I apparently looked at her in such a manner as to draw the ire of my wife, who subtly asked me about it. I told her that it was nothing, that yes, she's a nice girl, but even if I were to find myself attracted she's 6 years too late. Flash forward to karaoke at a bar a few blocks away. Wife and "Trouble" are buying each other shots and shots and shots, while I'm drinking water because I know I'm going to have to drive home. (I did have several beers and wine at dinner hours earlier.)My wife and Trouble start to sing a song, while myself and the third girl are singing along. Trouble and I end up singing her part while my wife and the third girl finish their part of the duet. As we're singing into the same mic - Trouble pressed against me in a fairly determined manner. At the end of the song, I go back to the two other guys who are playing pool.Later, the three girls start dancing together with much grinding on each other. A couple of other male bar patrons move in, so I moved from my seat about 20 feet away to a stool much closer to the girls. "Trouble" spots me and pushes me back to the booth where we'd been sitting. I have a laugh and start talking with the third woman's fiancee. The song ends, and Trouble strolls up, straddles my legs (I'm in a quite reclined position) and I choose to be cool - she's drunk, it's not a big deal. She then bends forward and "whispers" in my ear that she would have my wife if it were not for me!On cue, wife shows up with more shots for them, sees Trouble on top of me and says "I'm not going to like you if you keep doing that - he's mine." Trouble rolls off of me and moves towards my wife, almost knocking the table and the shots over. I roll up and steady the table and then move behind my wife. They're talking, and I can't hear what they're saying, but I get there just in time to see Trouble kiss my wife on the lips. Tentatively first, the second harder, at which time I very dramatically say "it's about time to go".We stumble back to our friends' house and they both pass out - I drive my wife home and try to talk, but she's toast.We talked Sunday late afternoon, she claimed she didn't remember, but after 6+ years I think I'm seeing tells of dishonesty - although I could be projecting.So. The problem is not that I feel that my wife is attracted to Trouble and didn't resist her advances - I didn't move when Trouble straddled me either - but I'm picking up that my wife remembers more than she let on and that she's trying to cover it.Should I try to just chalk the whole experience up to too much liquor and let it go?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 So you're troubled by her using alcohol use to hide her possible reaction to too much alcohol?
Well, this should be easy to solve. Take alcohol out of the equation.
"Should I try to just chalk the whole experience up to too much liquor and let it go?"
"As for the only course of action being to let it go… don't know that I agree with that POV, but I do appreciate the input."
You've been okay with your drinking for the past 6 years. A woman straddles you and it's just part of the fun. A woman straddles your wife and the rules suddenly need changing.
Sounds like it's time to stop drinking and reconsider the basis for the marriage.
A
male
reader, PeterFallow +, writes (19 March 2013):
PeterFallow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Faux.
Wife has no reservations in admitting previous experiences in college and while she prefers men, she's been honest about also finding women attractive.
It was an attractive trait, but faced with the reality of it - especially given the circumstances of this past weekend - not so much so anymore.
As for the only course of action being to let it go... don't know that I agree with that POV, but I do appreciate the input.
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A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Let it go this once but keep an eye on her behaviour next time you go to one of your parties. If it happens again then you're really going to have to address the issue with her again and possibly consider stopping going to these parties for a while, or at least until Trouble has moved on to somewhere/somebody else.
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