A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do i tell my sex-buddy i dont want to sleep with him anymore? I live in a different city for university and when i come back we always meet up for drinks/cinema or we'l wobble back to each others houses after nights out.We've been sleeping together (par when weve been seeing other people) for 5 years! i love him as a friend but im not emointally attached, neither is he. He sleeps with other girls, which doesnt bother me. but he likes unprotected which is a no-no, i dont want to catch anything these other girls are giving him, so we use condoms but obv chance or breakage or pregnancy, and i'm in such a good place at the moment i dont want any stress!I dont even enjoy sex that much, cause its meaningless and im not normally in the mood unless im drunk. I've been working on my low self-esteem for the past few months and i've been saying NO to guys when they just want me for sex, and i can finally say im starting to value and like myself. I can see the past 5 years with this guy ive been sleeping with him for the attention and trying to make myself feel like im wanted by a guy.Now im working on myself, and im starting to realise dont need a guy!i've been avoiding going round making excuses the past week, and ive just agreed to go cinema later with him... but yano what i dont want to :( but i dont want to upset him.I'm not saying i dont want to not have sex with him ever again, but i want it to be for fun and because im in the mood. not just going along because i feel like i have to.any advice how to tell him how i feel? I dont want him to feel like its himx
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condom, drunk, in the mood, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Sounds to me like u need to drink to feel comfortable with sex. This isnt healthy. Just tell him no more. He doesnt need a justification.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 And I would skip the cinema date for the time being, until you get your feet back under you and feel less wobbly. Cut back on the booze, it hurts you in so many ways.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 March 2013):
"Hey, while I have enjoyed our time together for the past few years, it's time for me to move on. I feel this is holding me back from some personal growth I need to do. I know you care about me as a friend and will support my decision. So it's back to purely platonic for us. You're a good guy and I know while you may be a little disappointed, but you'll get over it soon. Be well, and be safe."
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Call him up and tell him that F-buddy thing is over, that you really don't need it anymore and then STICK to it. I would suggest you actually avoid the situations where you get drunk and feel horny as well, at least for a while.
No one is making you have sex with him, so realize that the only one who can put an end to it is you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Show him what you just posted to us.
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