A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a brief question.I have a female friend who I enjoy talking to. However, at times, I ask her for dating tips, so I can simply be educated on how to date. Instead, she tells me she doesn't want to offer any. She says the same thing when I talk to her about girls in general. Is there something more than meets the eye, here?Am I missing out on something? I don't want to be seen as an ass or whatever, to her.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt could be. However, we're talking about things that matter a lot to both of us, like driving.I initiated contact at first. However, she sometimes starts the conversations.Well, I do have a disability that makes socialising somewhat difficult. But, I'm improving, and my friend sees this.I guess so. My friend seems happy, though, to chat with me, as she occasionally tells me things that she remembers about me. She sometimes tells me how much I've improved since we first spoken, for example.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Ah, I think you may be overanalyzing things, seeing signals in innocuous chitchat.
Did you make contact with her after your big falling out, or did she message you first?
Are social anxiety or Asperger's somethings you currently have?
If you want real life dating tips, I would suggest you talk to your siblings, friends, parents, other relatives; they know you best and how you could best accomplish your dating goals.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll online. And, it's frequently the :) smiley she uses, not that I mind it, of course.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
Are you speaking in person, or is this all on line?
An 'xo' could mean 'kiss hug' or it could just mean a virtual platonic air kiss like two 'ladies who lunch' might do when they meet at the restaurant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLast month, we started chatting again after having a big argument, last year.
And, when I told her that I missed talking with her, she said she missed it, as well. What's this mean?
And, practically every time we chat, I get a lot of smilies from her. Am I missing something, in here? Or, is this another potential overthinking thing?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2013):
I don't know why it would make her uncomfortable. Why would you persist in asking for tips you don't need when she has made it plain it bothers her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer, orchidkid.For some odd reason, she once stated she would cuddle with me if we'd watch television together. However, as soon as I mentioned that it's something couples do, she said she would still watch television with me, just without the "lovesick cuddles".Thank you, So_Very_Confused, for having answered my question. At the moment, I have no intent on dating. It's all simply out of curiosity that I ask her about dating tips. In your opinion, am I crossing some line?Tisha-1, I am not sure why my asking my friend for dating tips would make her uncomfortable. I don't want to come off as ignorant. But, why would it cause her any discomfort?
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (19 March 2013):
Thanks for your follow up as i stated in my reply. I THINK SHE MIGHT FANCY YOU .This was only an opinion. Wish you well for the future. Best Wishes Nora B.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 March 2013):
Here are some options:
-She feels she can't be honest with you about your datability
-She has talked about dating with you in the past and has given you all her tips
-She feels uncomfortable because you are 22-25 and she may think you don't need help
-She fears you are interested with her and doesn't want to give you any encouragement, so she avoids talking about dating entirely
Is there some reason you can't simply avoid the topic with her, as it seems to make her uncomfortable? Have you asked her out in the past and she has turned you down?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Would you date her?
When my husband and I started spending time together we had no plans to be serious with each other...part of my plan was to help him get comfortable with dating in general... see how that worked?
Are you asking her for tips because you want a girl like her... because to be honest what works for her may not work for other girls...
If you want to date her ask her...
if you don't want to date her, then accept that she's not going to discuss how to get other women with you and respect that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer, Nora B. The subject in question also dislikes it when I talk about girls in general, and once spoke about cuddling. It sounds a bit fishy to me, as I never considered her more than a friend.
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A
female
reader, orchidkid  +, writes (18 March 2013):
 As far as I know girls, being one of them, a lot of them develop romantic feelings to their guy friends quite fast. Some just don't draw the line between friends and boyfriends, a girl in need of romantic behaviour and feelings can easily confuse a guy being nice to her with a sign of romantic interest in her. I know since I also have been there.Have you noticed any signs she may send off?I know it's easy to overlook when you're a guy, on top of that - when you're a guy who sees her only as a good friend and not a potential love interest.Does she act more touchy with you? Opens up on some very private matters, i.e. her feelings, doubts, fears and so on?Doeas she get a wee bit too much excited when you guys meet?Or maybe she started to look/dress more neetly; wear make up more often if not always?Simple signs like these may tell a lot...or nothing at all at the same time.Or maybe she doesn't want to tell you anything couse she simply doesn't know much herself and has a problem with it?I always give people one advice-to be strict and just ask.If you'll start feeling uncofortable with her behaviour just aske her straight out what's up with that? Did she startet to like you more as a firend? It's harder to do than it sounds but it saves a lot more stress that overthinking about it.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (18 March 2013):
Yes i think you are missing out on something. I think she fancies you and this may be the reason she will not give you any tips abot dating. But you know her so watch out for the signs.But remember i said I. THINK.So you will have to decide. Best Luck . Nora B.
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