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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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He sent me a critique of our night together!
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay this is embarrassing.. I started to see a guy, very smart, kind and fun to be around. Last night was the 1st we had sex. I am a bit shy by nature but quite open minded sexually. Anyway the sex I thought was quite good, and when I...
A. 10 July 2013: Are you still embarrassed or have the aunts here managed to get you to see that he is a ridiculous individual? :)... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 10 July 2013: I did some searching using the search feature here at DC. You've been ramping up to this for some time. I don't really think you want advice, to be honest. You want the attention. Part of that histrionic personality disorder thing.
http:... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 10 July 2013: OP, with all due respect, you are rewriting your own history.
"I have gone on. I have been happy. I have not paid any attention to him in any way for the past while." The 'past while' has been one month.
Going back to that older post: "I could re... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: Hey, I found this post on webmd:
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Histrionic personality disorder is a mental condition that is characterized by excessive emotional reactions, attention-seeking behavior, and personal drama. These features usually ... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: Honest truth? I have NEVER been involved with a married man. I have been propositioned by several, both when I was single and when I was involved and married. It's not difficult to figure out that getting involved with a married man is a recipe for ... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: I agree with YouWish, why are you here? This all sounds more like someone on a stage hoping for an audience. You do need professional help.
I found a syndrome which may describe your condition: http... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Excuse me, but wasn't this rock bottom? "Now total despair. And aloneness. Feeling sad and hopeless. Used and like scum. I know nobody will have any kind words for me. I do not deserve them. I helped a pig cheat on his wife."
How many rock bott... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: You will do what you will do. Your pain when it's over and he's back with his wife will be no doubt similar to what you experienced when you first wrote this post.
Maybe having that same pain over and over again is your way of numbing yourself to t... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Because you choose to be stuck on this one. You like it, on some level. This is all within your control.
So do you want help to end it or are you looking for justifications to continue?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: "So many other men are waiting to date me"
Why not choose a balm instead?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Do you realize you are adding to your own hard times? As in laying on more problems and drama?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: And it isn't hard to ignore, if you set your mind to it. I think you like the frisson of attraction. And I do think you have a very short memory.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Oh, I have no doubt he's attractive. That doesn't make him a good prospect. That just makes him attractive, with high sexual energy and a good line that you have fallen for.
He goes home to his wife every night.
Have you taken a moment to read wha... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Oh, and because you haven't stapled that note to his tie. THAT would make him leave you alone, in a heartbeat.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Because he can see if he says the right things you'll go for the drama and the sex.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Isn't he still the pig who cheated on his wife?
You get sucked up into some little fantasy world, and feed the drama.
I rather like AuntyEm's advice to staple a note to his tie.
Do you have short-term memory loss or other mental health disor... (read in full...)
He sent me a critique of our night together!
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay this is embarrassing.. I started to see a guy, very smart, kind and fun to be around. Last night was the 1st we had sex. I am a bit shy by nature but quite open minded sexually. Anyway the sex I thought was quite good, and when I...
A. 8 July 2013: "Dear John,
"Thank you for your critique of our night together. As you have initiated this type of analysis, I am going to take this and run with it.
"Critiquing your critique, I have to say that writing a critique in the first place is a very poo... (read in full...)
Please help me - did I lose my virginity?
Q. Over the summer I had a boyfriend we will always be together well anyways , one day we were at his bedroom and we got sexual he sticked his penus in me and I had pain but my question is if he sticked it in once did he pop my cherry ? when we got up ...
A. 7 July 2013: Do you think that there is a cherry-like structure inside the opening of your vagina that is popped like a balloon? Because that is what your question seems to suggest.
Most women had a hymen, which is a thin membrane that is located just with... (read in full...)
How do you ask to have an open relationship
Q. What is the best way to go about asking your boyfriend to allow the relationship to become an open relatonship?...
A. 5 July 2013: Why do you want it to be an open relationship? At age 16-17, if you are unhappy with an aspect of the relationship, it's probably time to break up.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 4 July 2013: "If you shut the door, why are you trying to open it again?"
Um, to be crude about it, because his balls are full of semen and he is tired of using his hand, and he knows how to get this woman's knickers off. It doesn't take much to get this part... (read in full...)
Will I be judged for my not perfect body in a bikini?
Q. I'm looking for opinions here. What do men think when they see a woman wearing a bikini who is not that skinny, and does not have big boobs? Do you look at her and think "gross", or do you respect her for still having the confidence to we...
A. 4 July 2013: Oh and if I could go back to my 20-something-self, I would totally tell her to wear the damn bikini. Her view on her body is totally skewed by over-exposure to media and to self-judgment which doesn't correspond with reality.
... (read in full...)
Will I be judged for my not perfect body in a bikini?
Q. I'm looking for opinions here. What do men think when they see a woman wearing a bikini who is not that skinny, and does not have big boobs? Do you look at her and think "gross", or do you respect her for still having the confidence to we...
A. 4 July 2013: Okay, here's a deep dark hidden secret in life. Some people will always judge. Some people will always look for the flaws, the inaccuracies, the weaknesses, the imperfect. They are judgmental, and derive their power to hurt others from people who ... (read in full...)
I can't have a relationship with him but I can't stop thinking about him.
Q. Hi, I know this may sound crazy, but it is true. 2 years ago I had a problem, and I needed help. He was the only one to help, he's so decent, clever and gentleman. I noticed him staring at me sometimes, so I tried to make it brief talking t...
A. 4 July 2013: If you are experiencing obsessive thoughts then you are beyond the help of any advice the aunts can provide here. It would be a very healthy thing for you to ask your doctor to send you to a counselor.
First, though, ask your doctor to run a full... (read in full...)
I've accepted that he needs time for full on sex, but I still want him to go down on me at least.
Q. How can I get my boyfriend to give me oral sex? He's a virgin and I have accepted that he wants to wait and is too scared to have sex. I will wait for him to make the move to full intercourse. But in our sexual contact everything seems one sided - ...
A. 4 July 2013: "How can I get my girlfriend to give me oral sex? She's a virgin and I have accepted that she wants to wait and is too scared to have sex. I will wait for ehr to make the move to full intercourse. But in our sexual contact everything seems... (read in full...)
My friend promised me she'd get me items on her trip and I'd pay her. She's been back a week and hasn't contacted me!
Q. Why have I not heard from her? What should I do? So my friend went on holiday and I asked her to get me some MAC products cause they are alot cheaper where she's going. She said that's fine. I texted her the things I wanted and said I wou...
A. 4 July 2013: You know, when I go on holiday, the last thing I want to do is to go fulfill people's shopping lists. Not only do I have to pay extra if the bags are overweight, I don't want to be responsible for buying the wrong things, especially as they can't be ... (read in full...)
If I want optimal results, should I be clean shave, have some stubble, or full beard?
Q. I know looks are only part of what women want, and other factors for attraction come into play, like how active I am, how I take care of myself, etc. But, my question here is, what should I do, facial hair wise, to get some more potential suitor...
A. 4 July 2013: Some women like moustaches, some women like beards, then there are those who hate moustaches and those who hate beards and then there are women who are indifferent one way or the other but want the man to look his best however he is.
If YOU like... (read in full...)
I say he is the most disloyal man ever and he says he is just being honest about his emotions. What do I do?
Q. I am so sad and tired. My boyfriend of 6 years has become completely disloyal to me. One example, We auditioned for a play together recently and I was disappointed that I did not make callbacks and therefore would not be getting a speaking part in ...
A. 3 July 2013: If you own the house with him, before you leave, consult an attorney. There are some counterintuitive things you have to do in order to protect your financial assets. Leaving the house might mean that you are abandoning your claim on your ... (read in full...)
I feel like he sometimes uses his condition as a scapegoat to allow him to do nothing all day.
Q. Hi...I have been having a problem lately with my boyfriend who has been very sick for several months now with symptoms of Crohn's disease. We have been together 2 1/2 years and live together. We have always gotten along well, even now although I ...
A. 3 July 2013: I'd say it would be a good idea to sit down, discuss what he is willing to put into the partnership. Discuss the limits that his condition places on him. Be very clear and don't leave any questions you have unasked of him. He may not be able to ... (read in full...)
Surely I'm worth an Engagement Ring.. Aren't I??
Q. I am going through such an emotional roller coaster right now, I am desperate for unbiased advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 6 years. We long distance dating at the beginning but after about 6months I moved to be with him...
A. 3 July 2013: Yes, you are worth a ring.
As he's not come through when you have made the big sacrifice of moving, and that has been over several years, I think it's now on you to decide if you are happy enough with what he is able to provide.
To me, after 2 ... (read in full...)
My virgin boyfriend can't stay hard to have sex and makes me feel totally unattractive
Q. I'm 17, nearly 18 and I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 and a half months. I was not a virgin when I first started dating him - I lost my virginity to my ex boyfriend - but my current boyfriend is still a virgin. At the beginning of our ...
A. 3 July 2013: If you were a male, the aunts here would be telling you to back off and stop trying to force sexual activity on someone who clearly is not ready.
He's not ready to have sex with you. Why, we can't tell you, but you are trying way too hard and forc... (read in full...)
She's interested or just friendly?
Q. She's interested or just friendly? I hope someone can give me some advice. I know I sound pretty inept about it, but i been single for over 5 years now. There's a girl who started working where I do recently, our work is such that we only se...
A. 29 June 2013: "If you are available, I'd love to buy you a drink or a coffee after work today."
If you were able to ask her a lot of questions, did you ask where she and her boyfriend went on holiday last year and what their plans were this year? Her answer woul... (read in full...)
Husband slept with gorgeous coworker. Is it unreasonable to ask him to find another job?
Q. My husband had an affair with a gorgeous female co-worker. He felt guilty and admitted everything to me. I am devastated but would like to work on rebuilding our marriage. Am I being unreasonable for asking him to find another job? They see ea...
A. 28 June 2013: You said you want to work on rebuilding the marriage.
I didn't see anything that indicated that HE wants to rebuild the marriage.
All the rest is drama.
At this point, if he's not actively working to repair the damage he's done to the marriage and... (read in full...)
Do you think he misses me and is starting to think he made a mistake or is he just being insensitive and doesn't realize that I need more time to get over him before we can be friends?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months. He said he cared about me and loved me but he wasn't in love with me. I had already told him that I love him. It's been 2 weeks and in that time he has sent me text messages acting like we're best ...
A. 28 June 2013: You broke up with him because he didn't love you as you loved him. Nothing you have posted here suggests that has changed.
I'd cut off contact with him until you know what YOU need.
It's a noble goal, to be friends with your ex, I think about 20... (read in full...)
Fat Issues and lots of Tissues: Question is, why would I stay in a relationship where I have to change to suit his ideals?
Q. Fat issues and tissues So my SO keeps calling me a fatso. Mmm that's abusive. I need to loose, for myself, 20 lbs Also in menopause and also 52 years old. But I'm very active, trying now to boost my metabolism I have put my relationship...
A. 28 June 2013: What are you learning here? That there is more to health and well-being than a number on a scale.
That this guy is a jerk?
I'd keep on with the weight training and healthy eating and all that and lose the abusive loser!
Is there some reason you h... (read in full...)
Threesome with her ex. Mature answers please!
Q. This isn't so much a question, but more of me asking for advice. So basically I know people are going to think I am weird, but here it goes. I have a fantasy of watching my girlfriend give oral to another guy. I have been with her for 2 years and ...
A. 28 June 2013: Oh and you both need to wear condoms. You never know where his penis has been and there is an absolute epidemic of oral cancer related to oral sex.
Maybe you could try a warm up experience with her making out with him to see if you are comf... (read in full...)
Threesome with her ex. Mature answers please!
Q. This isn't so much a question, but more of me asking for advice. So basically I know people are going to think I am weird, but here it goes. I have a fantasy of watching my girlfriend give oral to another guy. I have been with her for 2 years and ...
A. 28 June 2013: It's something kinky *you* want to experience.
Are you really sure she wants to experience it too, or did you just wear her down to the point that she decided to ask an ex to do the deed for you?
... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to send my ex bf's stuff back to him?
Q. My ex and I broke up three months ago. I initiated the breakup because we were in LDR and he drifted apart. I told him a hundred times if he had no love for me, please just feel free to tell me, I would understand since it's so difficult to be ...
A. 28 June 2013: No, you're not wrong. I wouldn't worry about him or his reactions any more. Those are in the past, you've done what you needed to do, now stop worrying. You did what what right for you and you did nothing mean or hurtful.
Let it go and be happy you ... (read in full...)
We just met and he told me how much he loves me, and that we could be friends with benefits if I'm not ready for a relationship!
Q. Hi. I only met this guy who is of the same age as me, [mod note; age 17] 2days ago. He was very kind, everyone seems to enjoy his company. Yesterday he asked for my phone no. and i gave it to him without any hesitation and anxiety. Later on that day ...
A. 28 June 2013: No, it's unlikely that he's developed true, lasting feelings for you. Especially as he's already asked for sex.
I think unless you want casual sex that this guy has thrown up enough red flags to be removed from the game. Professing love after 2 day?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't seem to enjoy sex!
Q. My girlfriend almost never initiates sex and whenever we do have sex, she doesn't orgasm. We're 2 months into the relationship and I'm not sure if I'm ready to start a life with someone who isn't sexually attracted to me. In the start of the ...
A. 28 June 2013: We are not substituting scenarios into reality. You have not presented the situation.
You have vaginal intercourse sex every day with an unwilling partner? Wow. No wonder she reaches for the lubrication.
And you expect oral sex when her vagina i... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't seem to enjoy sex!
Q. My girlfriend almost never initiates sex and whenever we do have sex, she doesn't orgasm. We're 2 months into the relationship and I'm not sure if I'm ready to start a life with someone who isn't sexually attracted to me. In the start of the ...
A. 27 June 2013: "If the sex is good, then why won't she ever do it? If she won't because she is hurting, why won't she please me otherwise like every other girlfriend I've had?"
You mean, why won't she give you oral sex when her vagina is too uncomfortable for inte... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 27 June 2013: Good for you. I hope it all works out for the best, and do give us the followup if you can.... (read in full...)
Why wasn't I enough? Why is this girl already in his heart the way I once was?
Q. I used to jump from relationship to relationship, until I learned that you need time to breathe and be alone in between. After an especially drawn out break up, I decided to spend one year single. Although it was difficult, it was also the most ...
A. 27 June 2013: Why weren't you "enough" for him? Because he wasn't a perfect human being. Because he has a drinking problem. Because he's more interested in himself than anything else.
I would breathe a huge sigh of relief that you aren't sucked up into his dram... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 27 June 2013:
I'd skip the meet up.
You owe him NADA, nothing, zippo, zero.
I'm still amazed that you don't know where he lives.... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 27 June 2013: The cheater needs help in letting go?... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: You don't know where your ex-boyfriend lives? Wow. Just wow. So you are trying to appease this guy, who slags you off to friends and stalks you and harasses you and you don't even know where he lives?
That's just wrong.
So take the shirts and dona... (read in full...)
Being the peacemaker in this disfunctional family has stressed me -- I want out
Q. Ok so my parents have been married for 17 years now and let's just say it hasn't been good times at all and i had to grow up FAST. My parents started their family very young and got married because of it (as many people do today). My fathe...
A. 26 June 2013: Think of it this way: your parents are basically stuck at the developmental stage of being teenagers with unwanted children. You say they've been married for 17 years but you have a 21 year old brother which suggests that maybe they got together ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm during oral sex
Q. Okay. So my boyfriend and I have been getting more intimate for the past month or so. When I say intimate, I mean to the point of oral sex and nothing further. He is the first guy I've ever gotten this far with, and I'm the first girl to ever ...
A. 26 June 2013: Can you climax by yourself?... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: I just saw your followup: "We are seeing eachother tomorrow. Its been 3 weeks and he doesn't really get the fact that its over.
"So we are going to talk, and i'm going to clarify that he needs to let go, he has also left some of his t-shirts here... (read in full...)
PMS blues. Should I talk to my mom?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 years old, and I suffer from awful PMS. I've had my period for about two years now, and despite hours of research, I can't seem to find any information on how to aid my symptoms. I get severe breast tenderness. I can't even wear a shirt ...
A. 26 June 2013: Hi, you should be able to find a low-cost health care provider here: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/
Exercise, take ibuprofen before your period starts, masturbating can help pain as well. So Very Confused gave you great advice, as d... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: He's a cheat, abusive and an EX.
You don't deserve to feel bad, you are giving him permission to make you feel bad. So chin up, don't have any contact or conversations with him and tell your girlfriends that he's no longer welcome in your life in a... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 26 June 2013: And just to tag onto my post, I think there are mental disorders that can appear in the 20s and by reporting this, you could get him the help he needs and keep him from randomly hurting others. Wouldn't you feel awful if he went on to hurt others ... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 26 June 2013: I'd go with reporting it. It's a bizarre incident to begin with and if this guy has developed some sort of weird compulsion to hurt people you may be the person who gets him off the streets and to the help he needs.
I think you are confused beca... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: Having now read your first thread, I would add this advice: you knew that this would end badly. Why are you so surprised?
You put yourself smack in the middle of the drama. You created the drama. Now you are feeding off the negative energy, on some... (read in full...)
Overreacting to a Missed Happy Birthday?
Q. I have a really good friend that lives in another state. Overall he is a really good guy and his birthday was a few months ago. I sent him a "birthday" package with a few items. I also made sure to wish him a Happy Birthday as well on his special ...
A. 26 June 2013: He did send you a birthday package with items he selected for you. I would choose to focus on the good thoughts and effort and affection he put into that and not get too wound up that he couldn't remember the actual day.
I agree with C. Grant that... (read in full...)
Is the purpose of sex to orgasm or to feel close and intimate with your partner?
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and recently started having sex with the guy that I'm seeing (he's 21). I lost my virginity to him, but we have only had sex about 3 times since that. Before we had sex, he would play with me down there. Now he doesn't, I think ...
A. 26 June 2013: "Babe, I know that you have heard things about women and their sexuality and have some preconceived notions. Thing is, I have my own sexuality and desires and they don't actually mesh with what you have accepted as gospel.
"I want to orgasm.
"You ... (read in full...)
I'm happy to have her as just a friend but I really don't want to see her with someone else
Q. Ok, long story short. A little while ago I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend but she ended up telling me that she didnt like me in that way which after a while I finally accepted and am really happy to still have her as a ...
A. 26 June 2013: Like I said, you aren't ready to be her friend without reservations just yet.
So don't invite her to intimate gatherings and if you have to, uninvite her to the one you are having.
What are you trying to accomplish by having a private meetup a... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: Hi, I have seen people in this situation before. Generally it's the man who is more senior and whose job is less at risk. Either the woman gets mentally strong enough to deal with it or she winds up leaving.
You are 36-40 so presumably you have some... (read in full...)
I'm happy to have her as just a friend but I really don't want to see her with someone else
Q. Ok, long story short. A little while ago I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend but she ended up telling me that she didnt like me in that way which after a while I finally accepted and am really happy to still have her as a ...
A. 26 June 2013: You aren't ready to be her friend just yet. It's a noble goal and honorable thought. But it's just not really where you are right now.
Maybe in a few years but at this point in time, you want more than friendship and that's just not going to happ... (read in full...)
If I want optimal results, should I be clean shave, have some stubble, or full beard?
Q. I know looks are only part of what women want, and other factors for attraction come into play, like how active I am, how I take care of myself, etc. But, my question here is, what should I do, facial hair wise, to get some more potential suitor...
A. 17 May 2013: Are you asking if your facial hair or lack thereof will make women ask you out? You mention the term "potential suitors." Generally, this type of term tends to apply to men approaching women, not so much vice versa.
If you are growing a beard or m... (read in full...)
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