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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: I one other option for you if you can't talk about sex with your wife. Show her that there's tissue down there. Either make sure she sees your face with the little bits of tissue or as you remove them, "accidentally" leave them on her hand or on the ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: Being told she has a little bit of tissue on her vulva is going to kill her? Really? Is she that sensitive and that shy? How do you even manage oral if she's so freaked out about this type of stuff?
Just tell her, it's honestly not that big a deal... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 10 July 2013: I did some searching using the search feature here at DC. You've been ramping up to this for some time. I don't really think you want advice, to be honest. You want the attention. Part of that histrionic personality disorder thing.
http:... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 10 July 2013: OP, with all due respect, you are rewriting your own history.
"I have gone on. I have been happy. I have not paid any attention to him in any way for the past while." The 'past while' has been one month.
Going back to that older post: "I could re... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: Hey, I found this post on webmd:
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Histrionic personality disorder is a mental condition that is characterized by excessive emotional reactions, attention-seeking behavior, and personal drama. These features usually ... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: Honest truth? I have NEVER been involved with a married man. I have been propositioned by several, both when I was single and when I was involved and married. It's not difficult to figure out that getting involved with a married man is a recipe for ... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: I agree with YouWish, why are you here? This all sounds more like someone on a stage hoping for an audience. You do need professional help.
I found a syndrome which may describe your condition: http... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Excuse me, but wasn't this rock bottom? "Now total despair. And aloneness. Feeling sad and hopeless. Used and like scum. I know nobody will have any kind words for me. I do not deserve them. I helped a pig cheat on his wife."
How many rock bott... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: You will do what you will do. Your pain when it's over and he's back with his wife will be no doubt similar to what you experienced when you first wrote this post.
Maybe having that same pain over and over again is your way of numbing yourself to t... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Because you choose to be stuck on this one. You like it, on some level. This is all within your control.
So do you want help to end it or are you looking for justifications to continue?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: "So many other men are waiting to date me"
Why not choose a balm instead?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Do you realize you are adding to your own hard times? As in laying on more problems and drama?... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: And it isn't hard to ignore, if you set your mind to it. I think you like the frisson of attraction. And I do think you have a very short memory.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Oh, I have no doubt he's attractive. That doesn't make him a good prospect. That just makes him attractive, with high sexual energy and a good line that you have fallen for.
He goes home to his wife every night.
Have you taken a moment to read wha... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Oh, and because you haven't stapled that note to his tie. THAT would make him leave you alone, in a heartbeat.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Because he can see if he says the right things you'll go for the drama and the sex.... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: Isn't he still the pig who cheated on his wife?
You get sucked up into some little fantasy world, and feed the drama.
I rather like AuntyEm's advice to staple a note to his tie.
Do you have short-term memory loss or other mental health disor... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 4 July 2013: "If you shut the door, why are you trying to open it again?"
Um, to be crude about it, because his balls are full of semen and he is tired of using his hand, and he knows how to get this woman's knickers off. It doesn't take much to get this part... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: Having now read your first thread, I would add this advice: you knew that this would end badly. Why are you so surprised?
You put yourself smack in the middle of the drama. You created the drama. Now you are feeding off the negative energy, on some... (read in full...)
I'm happy to have her as just a friend but I really don't want to see her with someone else
Q. Ok, long story short. A little while ago I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend but she ended up telling me that she didnt like me in that way which after a while I finally accepted and am really happy to still have her as a ...
A. 26 June 2013: Like I said, you aren't ready to be her friend without reservations just yet.
So don't invite her to intimate gatherings and if you have to, uninvite her to the one you are having.
What are you trying to accomplish by having a private meetup a... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: Hi, I have seen people in this situation before. Generally it's the man who is more senior and whose job is less at risk. Either the woman gets mentally strong enough to deal with it or she winds up leaving.
You are 36-40 so presumably you have some... (read in full...)
7 years and I'm still not over my ex, help?
Q. Hi everyone, This might be quite long but I'm in dire need of some advice...i can't really talk to anyone else about this situation...Here goes: When i was about 17 i randomly met a guy at a gig, i can still remember it like it was yesterday, i...
A. 26 June 2013: Part of the problem is that you choose not to talk to anyone else about it. You are nurturing and enjoying the thoughts you are generating, reliving the past, going over and over and over the few months of what felt like a happy time.
You have idea... (read in full...)
I've fallen for one of my students
Q. I'm a 24 year male teacher. I work in a college I have been looking for love for quite some time. The problem is that I always end up with the wrong person. I know that I'm a good person. Nothing in the world hurts me more than injustice or seeing ...
A. 26 June 2013: Hi sinder, I think you should not be teaching people close to your age at this point. Yes, all the ages are legal, but the situation of you being a teacher and actually sleeping with a student is extremely unethical.
You sound very needy and unha... (read in full...)
I'm happy to have her as just a friend but I really don't want to see her with someone else
Q. Ok, long story short. A little while ago I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend but she ended up telling me that she didnt like me in that way which after a while I finally accepted and am really happy to still have her as a ...
A. 26 June 2013: You aren't ready to be her friend just yet. It's a noble goal and honorable thought. But it's just not really where you are right now.
Maybe in a few years but at this point in time, you want more than friendship and that's just not going to happ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't enjoy sex when we use condoms
Q. I have a problem, my boyfriend cant seem to enjoy sex when we use a condom he even gets soft, and if i was on birth control would be a good fix if i could do it, but the hormones don't do me good, i get really sick, i also cant afford to get the ...
A. 26 June 2013: Here are some non=hormonal options (all barriers which would be more effectie if you use spermicides as well:
The female condom
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/female-condom-4223.htm
http://ww... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing here? Should I stay in this relationship?
Q. Hi aunt and uncles :) It's been a while since I have had to post as I have been really happy up until now. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half years and we were really happy. He lost his job in November and was sent to prison. I st...
A. 24 June 2013: Please go to this website: http://www.womensaid.org.uk and get a local referral immediately. You were in an abusive relationship and need some help seeing how to get out of the trap that you deserve his abuse. You do not.
You did the right thin... (read in full...)
Why didn't my b/f introduce me to his friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I went to the beach and we were having a nice time until we were walking out of the water and he saw an old friend. He walked over to his friend and embraced him and I was walking over thinking he'd introduce me. He then grabbed his ...
A. 24 June 2013: Maybe his old 'friend' is really his drug dealer and he doesn't want you to know? Maybe he owes his old friend a lot of money and he doesn't want you to find out about that? Maybe he's married and doesn't want his old friend to know he has a ... (read in full...)
How can I trust my husband when he texts a girl from an escort service all night?
Q. Dear readers, I find myself here again and I have only been married a month. I wass here to weeks ago. Because my husband joined a sex site and still denies it. But know I am here because my husband has been out of town for the week and I looked a...
A. 20 June 2013: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-supposed-to-marry-in-2.html was another question from you, wasn't it?
Hasn't he had about thirteen second chances?
Will he ever change? Um, it doesn't sound like he's interested in changing, even if ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 20 June 2013: Can't you just tell her that she's leaving little bits behind? She is your wife, after all. Just smile when you mention it, so she knows you are just trying to find a happy solution.... (read in full...)
How can I trust my husband when he texts a girl from an escort service all night?
Q. Dear readers, I find myself here again and I have only been married a month. I wass here to weeks ago. Because my husband joined a sex site and still denies it. But know I am here because my husband has been out of town for the week and I looked a...
A. 20 June 2013: Is this your question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-supposed-to-marry-in-2.html ?
Get yourself and your husband into that counseling center ASAP and bring along all the evidence of his online and texting activities. I think you have... (read in full...)
He dumped me and is off enjoying his life -- why can't I?
Q. Dear Cupid I was dumped a month ago from a 3 yr relationship. He called me really nasty names while dumping me and the relationship was very abusive the last few months. I am trying to get over him, its getting difficult with each passing day....
A. 6 June 2013: You are used to the abuse he was doling out. On some level, you think that is what you deserve. Why that is, we can't say. Please please please go find a counselor who is familiar with abuse and get some help there, okay?
P.S. If he's an abus... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will be leaving for his year abroad to study and I'm not sure how to cope being alone for a year. Should I break up with him?
Q. Hi there, I have been with my boyfriend for seven months after 'seeing' each other for a while beforehand. I really enjoy being with him and while it is soon, there are definitely feelings of love beginning to blossom. We have a very deep connec...
A. 6 June 2013: "If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
"If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
"If you are at peace, your are living in the present.
"--Lao Tzu"
You are spending too much time imagining things in your mind and not enough t... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time? She's a bit younger so she might be shy or I'm getting the wrong end of the stick.
Q. Heya if you could please advise.. I met a girl I like who works next door to me, I've liked her for a while but I'm naff at asking girls out, and I like to make sure shes interested.anyway about 2 weeks ago I asked if she wanted to go for a drink ...
A. 6 June 2013: Don't do the flower thing just yet, it's far too soon. Six months into a committed relationship is fine, but right now, you'll run the risk of looking too eager.
So go into her shop and set up a date and time for that drink. You've mentioned it twic... (read in full...)
Should I down play myself? Are men intimidated by me?
Q. So I am a 26 year old female living in the Midwest. I have been single for about a year. I am putting myself out there, going on dates regularly and even do online dating....but still no luck. It seems the guys that like me, I don't like...and the ...
A. 6 June 2013: I don't know if this is your situation, but I have a friend who matches your description fairly closely, only she's 50+ and single. She is deeply bitter that she cannot find a man.
Now, I had a chance to witness her interacting with a single guy ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken and desperate wanting to have a baby!
Q. Please help. I've never been so desperate in all my life! My partner and I have been together for more than 10 years now. I love him with all my heart and he feels the same about me. I'm halfway through 30 now and more than anything, I yearn ...
A. 6 June 2013: Maybe YOU are trying to conceive (is that what TTC means?) but perhaps your partner is not really interested in becoming a father.
I understand, your biological alarm clock has sounded and now won't stop ringing. The thing is that you can't forc... (read in full...)
Do you guys even care how a woman looks even if it's just a one night stand?
Q. Do you guys even care at all who to have sex with even if it's for one night? I went out with a friend yesterday who is quite a bit older than me. She is 53. And she looks it. She has plenty of wrinkles, short, a little overweight. She loves to...
A. 6 June 2013: Maybe "normal 53" is more appealing to some men than a surgically enhanced, botoxed, phony pouty lipped, tanning bed devotee who has a heavy hand with make up?
I'm going to rewrite your description of your friend and maybe it'll help you see her ... (read in full...)
Is it common that I can't orgasm? I'm only 18
Q. Hi people. I am 18, I want to know if it is common for a woman not to be able to orgasm at my age? Or feel that cumming sensation without helping my self during sex? My boyfriend says it's weird and it hasn't happened with any of his ex's. It's ...
A. 6 June 2013: There's nothing wrong with you. Most women do not orgasm from intercourse alone; some do but most women need clitoral stimulation.
It would be like asking him to orgasm from having his scrotum stimulated but without any stimulation of his peni... (read in full...)
He keeps saying we should meet but never follows through with it
Q. i,ve been talking to a guy on a dating web site for 8 weeks he seems really nice but he keeps saying we should meet but every time i suggest a day or time he can never make it i sent him my mobile but hes never used it what should i do?...
A. 6 June 2013: After 8 weeks if he can't call your or organize a date, I would assume he has some other issue and stop contacting him and ignore him if he contacts you again. Sorry it didn't work out but he's had ample time to actually show up and meet you.
G... (read in full...)
My room mate is too noisy having fun! What should I do?
Q. I recently got a new room-mate. He's great so far, cleans up after himself, cleans the floor, easy to talk to. Then his girlfriend.. or as he said it "this friend who he used to date" comes over to stay a few days. And they're going at it like ...
A. 5 June 2013: That sounds like you made some progress. Now keep on with the smiles and he'll soon realize that you are okay with their fun, you just don't need to hear every single moment. Or any moment, for that matter.... (read in full...)
My gf doesn't want me to please her because she thinks I expect the same back
Q. Hi there. I have a girlfriend and I love. I sometimes do nice and cute stuff to make her happy. And I usually expect to be rewarded for doing so by her as well. As it appears, she doesn't share my point of view. I offered her to make a romantic...
A. 5 June 2013: What does "please" you mean, exactly? For exampled, do you mean a domestic task such as taking your clothes and washing them? Or a romantic gesture, such as bringing you a nice card and some chocolates? Or a sexual gesture, such as giving oral ... (read in full...)
Would it be a bad idea for me to continue dating this guy who lives with another female?
Q. Hey everyone I have a question. Would it be a bad idea for me to continue dating this guy who lives with another female? I've been dating a guy who's roommate is his best friend and it's a female. He jokes around saying he loves her and that she's ...
A. 5 June 2013: I would try to get some time alone with her and get to know her a bit better. Tell her about the way he mentions her. Keep it light and smile and laugh but pay attention to her responses.
See if you can do that and get back to us with how she resp... (read in full...)
My room mate is too noisy having fun! What should I do?
Q. I recently got a new room-mate. He's great so far, cleans up after himself, cleans the floor, easy to talk to. Then his girlfriend.. or as he said it "this friend who he used to date" comes over to stay a few days. And they're going at it like ...
A. 5 June 2013: I like EWO's solution.:)
... (read in full...)
Is it a bad thing to want to make my boyfriend jealous?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm dating this guy for a month now, and I know I shouldn't be playing games but I like to make him jealouss with other men,like I make sure he knows of the men that flirt with me,or the men that have asked me out and I said no cuz I...
A. 5 June 2013: Is the real question "How do I get him to not take me for granted?"
How about trying this instead, don't be available all the time. Be busy with friends. You don't have to make up stories about other men.
Stop initiating all the contact between ... (read in full...)
My room mate is too noisy having fun! What should I do?
Q. I recently got a new room-mate. He's great so far, cleans up after himself, cleans the floor, easy to talk to. Then his girlfriend.. or as he said it "this friend who he used to date" comes over to stay a few days. And they're going at it like ...
A. 5 June 2013: Ouch. Tough one. He's a new roommate and you want to get off on the right foot. (Bad bad BAD pun, sorry.)
I think I would tell him, "hey, Jerry, I'm happy you are here and that your friend came to visit you. I have to mention something a bit unco... (read in full...)
To forgive or not to forgive?
Q. Hiya guys, i really hope someone out there can give me a good perspective on my situation. Im not going to go into detail but my dilemma is really the whole 'forgive or not forgive' scenario. I became friends with a guy and we decided to see e...
A. 5 June 2013: Oh, and one more little thing. In college, there was a similar scenario for me. Full disclosure: I still don't like the guy. He's a part of my alumni group and friends with other friends but I just don't socialize with him. I have only been able to ... (read in full...)
To forgive or not to forgive?
Q. Hiya guys, i really hope someone out there can give me a good perspective on my situation. Im not going to go into detail but my dilemma is really the whole 'forgive or not forgive' scenario. I became friends with a guy and we decided to see e...
A. 5 June 2013: I think it's okay to decide you would like an apology for bad behavior and to be firm and kind about it.
"John and I dated briefly but it didn't work out. I heard he said some very hurtful things about me and it's been troubling me since then. I'm ... (read in full...)
Do some guys not like well-educated girls?
Q. I'm currently at quite a good university studying a rigorous subject, and as I don't know any guys from my uni I'd really like to go out with I've started dating those from outside uni. I don't make a big deal out of my education, or like to argue...
A. 5 June 2013: Expand your dating pool?
http://www.pcnbritain.org.uk
http://www.thechristianleft.org
If you are a non-traditional type of Christian woman then you may be happier with a non-traditional type of Christian man.
Those links were two from a googl... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 5 June 2013: Thank you, iAmHereToHelpYou, you are correct in your assessment of my question to the OP.
So you didn't answer the basic question: do you love this shy Christian who didn't disclose her one sexual encounter right off the bat? Do you want to be with... (read in full...)
Too complicated? The guy I like has a girlfriend who is pregnant by another guy! What do I do?
Q. Hello. Well i really don't know what to do.I really like this guy (talked to him a few times and he so sweet) but recently found out be has a gf. However a friend told me she is preggo with another guys baby. The baby daddy is not responding. At the ...
A. 4 June 2013: He has a girlfriend. He's been trolling for a new girlfriend? Or just likes talking to girls? Would you be okay with him talking to girls if you were together?
Um, pass for me.... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: So let's boil this down to one question:
Do you love this shy Christian who has bad taste in clothes and one sexual experience or not?
Okay. Two questions. You are doling out information about the relationship and your background here, in stingy l... (read in full...)
How to hide feelings from the one you deeply fall for?
Q. One early summer night, I met him – the guy I barely talk to at the gym at a bar. He grabbed my head and tried to kiss me, I turned him down, that was how the things between us started. About him: He stands out from people by his height and his g...
A. 4 June 2013: Hoo boy, I feel like I just gave similar advice to another poster here but basically, if you are uncertain as to what you want, you won't ever get what you want.
You have to be clear about this.
You wrote: "We just spent the whole night hanging ... (read in full...)
Cybercheating, is it okay? Should I only wait to dump him til he actually does it in person?
Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year. And I oddly have a strange attachment towards him. We mostly are always together unless we know it’s a type of situation that we shouldn’t go together. We have a lot of similar friends and live ...
A. 4 June 2013: He's a great partner until the mask slips. Which appears to be when he feels the need for some outside sexual release.
I would break up with him just for being so cheesy as to actually reply to craigslist sex ads. I mean, come on, if you are goin... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: You describe yourself as an atheist. She is a Christian.
So how do you reconcile these two very different belief systems?
That would seem to me to be more of an issue than who had sex with whom and when.
... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: It is a bit odd that a shy, self-described Christian would choose to test a guy by going back to his apartment and have sex with him knowing he had a girlfriend in the way you describe, and at the age of 25, to boot. That doesn't ring true to me.... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: That depends on how you define 'true love.'
You have a lot of beliefs going on here. Do you believe that you shouldn't have sex before marriage or just that you believe you want to have sex only with another partner who is also as 'ine... (read in full...)
He is very confusing! I want to know what the hell he is thinking? Does he like me is he unsure because I am still legally married?
Q. I am seperated and have been seeing the neighbor boy who is 26. I am 37. We have slept together a few times, But also he has stayed the night and just cuddled without sex. He will text me and I will text him, but sometimes he will go 3-4 weeks ...
A. 4 June 2013: I'm not saying you shouldn't have had sex with him. I'm all for people having safe, consensual sex, without blackmail or deceit.
I'm suggesting that you need to figure out what it is that YOU want and then align your life so that you can reach your... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: How old was she when she had this consensual sex? Was she 15 and he was older?... (read in full...)
I feel that he's an insecure person who wants to possess me as soon as possible and he is not ready to give me time.
Q. Hello, I am in a situation that I don't know what to do. I will consider your advice very carefully. Due to bad investments, I happened to lose a lot of money. I have always been close to a friend and I shared it with him without any bad intentio...
A. 4 June 2013: Leaving the debt thing to one side for now.
Do you want to be married to this man? Yes or no?... (read in full...)
He is very confusing! I want to know what the hell he is thinking? Does he like me is he unsure because I am still legally married?
Q. I am seperated and have been seeing the neighbor boy who is 26. I am 37. We have slept together a few times, But also he has stayed the night and just cuddled without sex. He will text me and I will text him, but sometimes he will go 3-4 weeks ...
A. 4 June 2013: So remove the stated blockage, get the divorce finalized, and then see what he does.
I'm dubious about the 'not now' qualifier on the relationship question. You DO have a relationship, it's just not an official boyfriend girlfriend one. If you are ... (read in full...)
How do I stand up to my controlling mother?
Q. I have a controlling mother who tells me I cant move out of the house until Im married. she also tells me anywhere i go and whatever i do must be run by her. im 22 years old. how do i stand up to her??...
A. 4 June 2013: Is there some sort of cultural norm to which she is conforming? If so, you may never be able to convince her otherwise, in which case you will have to take your own actions.
You have an education, go out and find employment. Don't tell her wher... (read in full...)
He is very confusing! I want to know what the hell he is thinking? Does he like me is he unsure because I am still legally married?
Q. I am seperated and have been seeing the neighbor boy who is 26. I am 37. We have slept together a few times, But also he has stayed the night and just cuddled without sex. He will text me and I will text him, but sometimes he will go 3-4 weeks ...
A. 4 June 2013: "He said he does not want a relationship he likes doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it, but yet there are times I feel like he is into me and maybe has changed his mind."
He has told you he doesn't want a relationship.
He's into you... (read in full...)
I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!
Q. Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...
A. 4 June 2013: "I have this fear that the only way I can be a man is if I get a partner that has the same amount of experiances. It has alot to do with loosing my father and growing up with my mom and brother. I never really dated anyone past elementary school, if ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 30 May 2013: "Babe, I think it's time to get some new knickers. The ones you are wearing leave little bits of lint on your lovely private bits. I love giving you oral but find the little linty bits distracting."
That will give her the heads up (pun inte... (read in full...)
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