A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why have I not heard from her? What should I do?So my friend went on holiday and I asked her to get me some MAC products cause they are alot cheaper where she's going.She said that's fine. I texted her the things I wanted and said I would send her money for them or she can buy them and I will pay her when she returns.She said okay. She will be buying some make up herself so she will let me know.A girl she went with told me they got back last week.I've still now heard from her and I don't know if she bought the make up or not.I'd be upset if she didn't. I though we're close. I was on the phone to her the day before her holiday.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2013):
 she probably didn't get the things for you... especially if you did not give her the money in advance.
personally I Had a friend offer once to pick something up for me because she was going to that store anyway (out of state) and I told her not to bother because I felt it was rude to ask someone to do it... but SHE OFFERED so I agreed finally. (besides the items were not expensive) and she contacted me when she got back and said she had them. I owed her like 5 dollars... not a lot.
IF you asked for stuff that cost a lot and did not give her the money in advance, then I would not be upset that she did not get them for you.
why are you standing on ceremony... call her,
:hey how was your trip?
she says great
"did you get to the makeup store?"
"yeah but I didn't get what you asked for...sorry"
the PROPER response is "oh ok I understand, you were on holiday NO BIG DEAL maybe next time."
and that's IT.
no being angry at someone who was going to do you a favor that was out of their way... in terms of time and money...
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Call her, welcome her back, ask her first how her trip was, etc... then ask her if by chance she had the time etc. etc.
And no, do not be upset if she did not get around to do it. It was a favour, she was even supposed to front the money, and ... you should not even have asked to begin with !, it's imposing on people giving them " assignments " during their holidays.
Sure, she should have said " no " right away , and once she said yes she should have done it... but, I know for long travelling experience it's hard to be tough nosed when people ask you what, in their mind, is a small favour. People say yes either in good faith, or to be nice, or because they don't know how to say no- then, in practice, during a vacation it may be difficult to spare the time to go for that specific shopping trip. Particularly when you don't travel alone. Or , she may have overspent on other stuff and not been able to get those items for you. Or, simply.... she got focused on enjoying her free time - free also from " to do " and obligations.
So, when you ask a traveller, " would you bring me X "... the assumption should always be " IF you can remember, and IF it's really no trouble at all and supereasy for you "- and you should not get upset if you don't get what you had asked for.
Wait till the shoe is on the other foot :) then come back and tell us how did you like it when you left for the vacation of a lifetime, or your honeymoon, with an arm long wish list from all your friends and acquaintances who think " hey, since you are going to be there anyway , might as well buy me this and that, what's the big deal ".
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (4 July 2013):
 She's probably avoiding you because maybe she didn't really have the spare cash to buy make up for you and she may not have wanted to do a special shopping trip for you while she was having her holiday. I think that's fair and you probably should not have asked her in the first place.
Let it go...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 July 2013):
 You know, when I go on holiday, the last thing I want to do is to go fulfill people's shopping lists. Not only do I have to pay extra if the bags are overweight, I don't want to be responsible for buying the wrong things, especially as they can't be returned. And then there's the time spent trying to find those items.
It's different buying souvenirs or gift for people. You happen on things that say "buy me for Rose, I'm the perfect gift!" and it's not a stressor, it's a joy.
If she bought you the items, she will get them to you.
If she wasn't able to buy the items, let it go. If your friendship rests on her doing your cosmetic purchases while she's on holiday then maybe it isn't all that strong of a friendship.
"Heard you got back from your holiday, hope you had a great time, can't wait to hear the stories! xo" will at least get you a response. Do you know what else is happening in her life? My extended family has all sorts of things happening, vacations, new babies born to relatives, elderly relatives suffering severe life-threatening illnesses. Friends are going through cancer treatments, or are recovering from surgeries or injuries.
If she is experiencing anything like this in her life, the last thing she is worried about is if you get your low-cost cosmetics right away.
Why not take a big breath, relax and make a positive contact with her to find out if everything is okay?
If she didn't buy you your cosmetics then decide if that is such an important thing in your life and with this person.
If this is a continuing pattern of her ignoring you, then maybe just accept she's not a close friend and discontinue your friendship for now.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Would it really matter if your friend DID NOT get the make up? What would you have done for make up if your friend hadn't gone on holiday? Go without? Buy a cheaper brand? Or pay the price it is where you live?
I don't see this as a cause to get upset, there are a lot of possible reasons if she did not get it, including just plain forgetting. People do not usually go on holiday to go shopping for other people.
If getting cheap make up is more important than the friendship she may be better off without you as a friend.
If you want cheap make up take your own holiday!
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