A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know looks are only part of what women want, and other factors for attraction come into play, like how active I am, how I take care of myself, etc.But, my question here is, what should I do, facial hair wise, to get some more potential suitors? Should I:1) Grow a beard, but not a moustache2) Grow some stubble (For example, the 5 o'clock shadow, and maintain it)3) Shave my beard completely (This can also apply to the moustache)4) Get a moustache only and regularly trim it5) Other suggestionI am very disappointed that I am not getting some romantic attention - I have a great personality, I loke to tell jokes, and I certainly am intent to whow the beautiful women in my age group how romantic and loving I can be.Why I bring my facial hair into the equation is because I want to see positive results - none of the simple polite, platonic attention - I want them to start looking at me and actually show interst - platonic can only be exciting for so long. So, that is why I am brining my looks into this. My looks do play some role into whether or not I get a chance, and I wishto know which of the above options are hot, and which are not. The rest should fall into play. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): Sometimes guys just try too hard.
My friend, I feel you are grasping for straws at this point. You are desperately looking for ways you think you will entice women to just fall allover themselves for you.
Dude, relax. Chill out!
You list all your best attributes, as if you've paraded them around on a sign. I think you may have just a slight creep-factor that scares women off. It is because they can tell you have no confidence, and you're coming across as stiff, and everything you do is contrived.
Try doing nothing. Just be clean and well-groomed. Wear properly fitting clean clothes and just, forget about trying to force women to do anything.
Tweak your game with interesting conversation and wit.
I gotta be tough now. Eliminate the creep-factor and girls will come flocking to you based on your true personality.
STOP:
1.) Trying to be funny.
Be witty, but leave out the standup comedy act.
2.) Being too polite.
Chill and be as courteous as the occasion calls for. You can't fake charm.
3.) Over-selling yourself.
Women aren't stupid. They have brains, eyes, and ears.
They get the willies from guys who get too excited in their presence.
4.) Laying out your romantic plans and intentions.
It comes across as lame and pathetic. Ladies are attracted to confidence. You're not a walking profile ad.
My friend, just reading all the desperation in your post is giving away all the neediness you must project in a social setting with women. You may be the only guy in the room who can't keep still. You must vibrate with nerves, and ooze with geekiness. You're a really sweet guy, and I can tell that.
Your appearance is not your problem. It never has been your problem. It's your desperation that reeks all over you.
Just walk into a room and not try so hard to stand out. Feel confident that you are as good as any other guy in the room. RELAX...RELAX...RELAX!!!
Each lady has her own taste in men. Create your own trademark and just let them vibe off the guy you really are.
Shave and let them see your face.
Get a simple and updated haircut. Less is more.
Don't create a character. Everyone in the room can tell it's a facade, the minute you open your mouth.
I'm not trying to dash your feelings. Just open your eyes.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Some women like moustaches, some women like beards, then there are those who hate moustaches and those who hate beards and then there are women who are indifferent one way or the other but want the man to look his best however he is.
If YOU like a specific woman, ask her out, instead of grooming yourself to some imaginary standard of an imaginary woman hoping she'll show up and ask you out.
If you like a woman, ask her out. The worst thing that can happen is that she will say "no." It's not nice but you will survive it.
If you never ask a woman out, you are waiting for her to take the initiative. Which is one tactic but then you will have to have a lot of patience.
Have you asked anyone out recently?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 July 2013):
 some will some won't OP
again do not groom just to meet women...groom yourself the way it makes you happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wonder if girls get attracted to guys who shave their beards but not their moustaches?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): It's heredity. Most men I've known for a long time who have fuller beards started in their teens.
Some men just don't fill in, some are patchy, and some can grow a full beard in a week. If it grows too slowly, than it is not meant for you.
You may try the "sculpted beard." Which is not full. It frames the jaw-line with a very clean and angular line. It is low to the face. A narrow strip runs from the sideburns; then widens to the chin. It can be connected by to the mustache with fine well-trimmed lines. It is neat, and elegant. Comes off well on just about any face. It is very intricate, so it will require a barber. Go online and look for some samples.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy facial hair is growing at a somewhat slow rate. Why is this? I hope it's not age, as I'm only in my early 20's.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 May 2013):
I personally HATE the stubble look. IT’s so NON-committed. IF you WANT a beard and can grow a decent one (because nothing is as unattractive as a man trying to have a beard when he can’t really support it based on hair follicles) then do it for yourself.
I don’t’ care if a man is clean shaven or not. I DO care if he’s well groomed. So if you grow a beard and/or mustache KEEP THEM CLEAN, KEEP THEM COMBED, KEEP THEM TRIMMED AND NEAT.
I will tell you that necking with a man with a beard is not comfortable but it’s MORE comfortable than kissing a man with stubble… BEARD BURN for women sucks.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (17 May 2013):
 I personally like the goatee look or stubble. Throw in a couple tattoes and an intense look in your eyes, and I turn to jello...but that's just me. Each woman has their own preference.
My advice would be just to be yourself. What feels good for you? What makes you feel good about yourself? The main thing that all women are attracted to is CONFIDENCE, so whatever style gives you the biggest boost to your confidence when you look in the mirror, go with that one.
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (17 May 2013):
From your comment about "getting more potential suitors" I take it you are playing a game of numbers and running up the score. At this point in history, the cultural preference in North America is clean shaven.
If you were interested in attracting particular types of people, or individuals, the answer could be quite different. My wife married me when I was quite clean shaven but now very much prefers the full beard, trimmed somewhat closely. She says it makes me look "independent", "distinguished" and "scholarly", whatever that means - but it sure feels sexy when she runs her fingers through it.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 May 2013):
Are you asking if your facial hair or lack thereof will make women ask you out? You mention the term "potential suitors." Generally, this type of term tends to apply to men approaching women, not so much vice versa.
If you are growing a beard or mustache or shaving in the hopes that your facial foliage or clean acreage will suddenly prompt women to ask you out, um, you need to rethink things.
If you want to date a woman, ask her out.
If you suffer from some sort of social anxiety and can't ask a woman out, then work on that, not on growing facial hair.
Ask the woman you like out.
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female
reader, beeka1001 +, writes (17 May 2013):
 The question here is if you can grow a full, thick beard. None of that whispy, curly crap.
If you can grow a beard, and I mean a real man beard, then do it.
Sexy. Yes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2013): Your success with getting women depends on the type you are looking for and what you have to offer. It's not to Schick or not to shave!If you are looking for attention, a beard during warm weather might be uncomfortable and inappropriate for your life-style. You may as well push a cart and wear everything in your hamper that hasn't been washed. The homeless guy look will get you a cup full of nickels but not a date.Are you a lumber-jack, or a deep-sea fisherman? Full beard?NO! That fuzzy peach look is nice; but if you don't know how to dress to compliment it, you look like a guy who has been unemployed for the last 10 months; and he can't afford to pick up or split the tab. Clean-faced wins hands down; because once you have the girl, you can change and evolve. Then you can show her different phases of facial-hair growth and she can choose a favorite. A lot of women prefer chest hair over facial.If you have a really chiseled physique, they like it clean and smooth head to crotch. They want to glide over your body. If you're chubby, you don't want to look like Santa Jr. If a gay guy walks by and says "woof", you're playing in a totally different league. What is your height and body-type? Growing facial hair should at least coincide with something about your personality.Are you the outdoorsy type? Are you rugged and otherwise physically fit? I guess you wouldn't be asking. Huh?Dude, some guys can pull it off and some can't. Women aren't stupid. Your interpersonal skills are the key. A confident and friendly approach knocks 'em dead. Ever seen a guy who drives a plain car, has an average job, looks like Joe Average; yet he has a ton of male friends and a girlfriend who should be a bikini model? Why?It's because he's real, kind, generous, and he is comfortable in his own skin. He projects a confidence and his manners speak for themselves. He can choose the women he wants, because he is realistic enough to know that beauty queens aren't meant for everyone. He snags a beauty queen because she realizes that if she wants love, go for a good man. She has had a stab at the rich guy, the sports pro, and the bad boy with the big penis. She wants a good life and to be happy. She still likes the big penis. It rounds out a full package. Wink!Joking and grinning like a Cheshire Cat only makes a guy look foolish and like he's trying too hard. From what you're saying in your post; I think that is your problem.Gimmicks and facades don't really get women. Maybe the superficial types who just want a guy to show off, and make them look like Ken and Barbie. Women like guys who have creative ideas when they take them out. It's not the amount spent, it's the fun and the experience. Guys don't really grow facial hair for women, it's mostly a matter of convenience. If he's good-looking, other guys try to mimic, but the effect isn't quite the same. Know what I mean? He's not good-looking BECAUSE of the facial hair. He's good-looking WITH facial hair. Get it?You have to offer good conversation, make them feel special; but still have a certain mystery about you. One more bozo the clown will not pass for a sense of humor. They tire of being captive audience to a stand-up comic wannabee. They giggle when caught off guard, that means you're spontaneous and your humor comes naturally. I hope you don't stand in front of a mirror practicing jokes and punch lines!!! Yes, looks do get attention. However; it's what's underneath it that makes a woman want to stick around.Don't go looking for cover girls, if you're the geek of the week. Everyone over-looks the plain but pretty girl. She may not stand out; but once you get to know her, she steals your heart and makes you feel like you would do anything for her. I don't mean the clingy needy sobby girl who can't control her eating and blames everything on her weight. She falls in the category of broken women. They're great once they discover their own cure. Self-love.If a guy has a lot of money, beauties stick around until he has to put a spending-cap on her gold-digging ass; but that type postpones real love just looking for a sugar daddy. Any man will due as long as he has deep pockets. She has to maintain her beauty or another younger model comes along, who may have her own cash to spend. A business merger makes everybody happy!!! Then what? She'll settle for someone desperate and has good credit. A sucker! Don't be that guy! You have to have self-confidence!Then there's the girl who likes to be seen about town in a high-priced car. She's selfish and it's all about her. If you can chew gum and balance a check book, she'll date you until a newer model series comes out by Mercedes. She really did like your sense of humor. That's what she'll tell you, not her friends. You thought you impressed her with your fuzzy face and you made her laugh. Next!If you are an average to good-looking guy (you wouldn't be writing your post if you were a male model) you have to develop a great personality and know how to project good character. Dopey guys walk up to women totally out of their league, already shot-down in their heads, and make some lame pickup line. They make up a phony story about who and what they are. The woman looks him up and down, and rolls her eyes.How did she know he was a BS artist. Woman are smart, and they've seen all the creeps and jerks the dating world has to offer. They can see a great guy from a mile away. In fact, great guys have women falling at their feet. The best women know they don't need men. So when they let a man into their lives, he offers her all the traits she wants in a man to settle down. She will over-look his physical appearance and look for something better. All that crap about sense of humor is BS. They want a man who will be a good father. Help pay the bills. He will not get in the way when they need to grow. He is supportive, and he's not easy to push around. By her, or anyone else. He'll give her smart and cute babies, and they'll have fun making them. So beards or peach fuzz doesn't matter to them. Well, she may like you to shave on appropriate occasions.Go to a stylist for a haircut. He/she will recommend what's best for your face and stature. Dress cool but not to trendy, save that for a night out on the town. If you aren't into physical sports, you have to at least join a gym and give them something to look at. Working out builds confidence, it also makes you a finer specimen of a man. That's so when women look at you, should their primal selective-mating instincts kick in, they'll see the future father of their children. Even if they don't plan to have kids, their primal instinct is to find a mate that will be prime beef, not meat by-products.They also watch how you walk, your body-language, and your eye-contact. Those clues give you away when you have no self-confidence and they will roll their eyes as soon as you walk up. They know you wouldn't be able to keep up that phony character you summoned up as you wobbled over and interrupted her lunch; or blocked her path to the cute guy who invited her over to his table.So when you approach a woman, stop trying to be what you think she wants you to be. Be who you are, and leave your bag of tricks at home. You can perform and get a one-night stand who fell for it after five sour-apple martinis. Or a needy chick who likes to hear fairy tales, and will believe the first guy willing to tell her a story. Or you can shave your face. Work on your self-esteem, hon your interpersonal skills, read a little, work out, watch the news, eat a proper diet, and find a great woman who is deserving and appreciative of all that you've accomplished to find her. You can also be more selective, because you know what you're worth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): It depends on if you look more like Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynold's, or Sebastion Cabot.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 May 2013):
Every woman is different, you should know that by now. There are some women who go nuts for a beard, and others, like my wife, that find it gross. I'd say the "safe" bet is clean shaven, you'll probably attract a wider variety of women, but alas, you don't do anything for the beard lovers.
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female
reader, Lolly_Poll  +, writes (16 May 2013):
Facial hair is entirely about personal preference. For me personally, my partner has to be clean shaven. I do not like facial hair at all, not so much for the look of it, but the feel, I do not like prickly facial hair on my skin! Yes when trying to woo potential dates, looks are important, but so is personality. When I first met my partner he had facial hair, but his personality was what stood out for me. Try not to be too self conscious, be confident because that is a very attractive quality. If you feel confident in your own skin, that will speak volumes. Go with what you like, what you feel comfortable with. If you feel good, you'l look good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): I personally wouldn't think your facial hair will make much if any difference. Everyone has a different preference, and- at least in my opinion- it wouldn't make me find anyone MORE attractive. I know what I don't like very much, however, I don't think I'd let facial hair put me off either. Having said that, if you want a vote, my preference would be for stubble or none at all. Not keen on moustaches or beards, either together or independently. My preference would be for something that doesn't look overly preened or complicated.
Of course, after saying all that, I'm certain that other women will have the opposite opinion to me.
My advice- be yourself and do what YOU want with the hair. Don't put too much emphasis on something which is basically superficial.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): My advice get all the hair off your face even a moustache if needed. Once you land the lady of your dreams that let her tell you what she may want or not want on your face. Hey one more thing about all this you have to also work on your personality. looks is only part of the equation. How you come across to the ladies is the next thing you have to work on. Learn to develop eye contact with a women and smile . If she returns the same great with a honest look and smile. Don't be afraid to say hello and have a unique and different ice breaker statement. Nothing corny or sexy. Make eye contact and just say a few simple and sincere words. Good-luck...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): Beard! Beard!!!(obviously not a Santa beard, more like long stubble) !! Sexy and mysterious!
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