A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay. So my boyfriend and I have been getting more intimate for the past month or so. When I say intimate, I mean to the point of oral sex and nothing further. He is the first guy I've ever gotten this far with, and I'm the first girl to ever perform oral on him. I have had almost no trouble getting him to orgasm, but after a month of doing this, I have yet to come close to climaxing. He does stuff that feels good, and I do tell him certain things he does that work for me. But it keeps eluding me. I've tried relaxing, communicating a bit more, even revving myself up (i.e. masturbating but not climaxing) to make myself more sensitive and aroused. However, nothing is working! Any tips?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2013):
 Can you climax by yourself?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 June 2013):
 I have had partners both male and female over nearly 40 years of an active sex life... in all that time I have had exactly ONE partner who was able to consistently bring me to orgasm. And it was through oral. I never felt there was anything wrong with me or my partners either. It's just how I'm wired.
some women are just wired in an odd way and can only achieve orgasm in a particular manner. and that may not be a manner that is achievable via oral stimulation or penetration.
Best advice... do not try to have an orgasm, rather just learn to enjoy the sensations and the closeness and plan to finish yourself off when he's done... in fact if you want once he is done he can "help" you finish... depending on how you masturbate... for me it's my husband "helping" with breast play... it's almost a joke for us but it's what it is.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 June 2013):
 Put your B/F in touch with me.... and I will reveal to him the "secret" of his making you SCREAM in ORGASMIC DELIGHT whence he partakes of your tasty lady-parts....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): Coming to climax isn't something forced. The mind and body must be synchronized during the process of arousal. Just because something feels good, doesn't mean that is your "preferred" method to get you there. There may be a number of ways. They just haven't been discovered.Sex is a game of pleasure. It can't be mechanical or contrived. There must be an emotional chemistry to fire up the attraction. Let the spark between you develop. It may take a little time.Your lack of experience is making your approach to sex too methodical;so you give up when the "experiment" doesn't yield the desired results. When you learn more about your own body, and how long it takes you to reach climax; then you will know what your partner needs to do. Continue experimenting, until you find the spot. Some women never climax with a partner. That doesn't mean they can't, they just haven't been with the right partner who can put their mind and body in the right place. Once you get past the mind-block, the flood gates open.If you continue to worry about it, sex will become a chore and you'll take all the fun out of it. Your partner will become frustrated and develop performance anxiety. He won't be able to maintain an erection; because he's concerned about what you're thinking.You need to focus on how much you care about him. Let your mind wonder to a place of ecstasy. Don't think about it. The urge will simply come to you on it's own. There is pleasure in being teased to the point you can't take it anymore. An orgasm is a spontaneous release after a sufficient amount of arousal and foreplay. So just take your time, and stop before you become too frustrated. Trying too hard will kill your pleasure. Always have patience, that's the key.Don't concentrate so hard on "forcing" it to happen. It doesn't work that way.Please always practice safe sex. Be responsible for yourself and your partner. Use condoms.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): I find I am the same! Oral just isn't my thing I've found. It feels nice and I like it but I actually don't enjoy the feel of my clitoris being touched if there is too much moisture and so oral just doesn't work for me. Maybe this is the issue you're experiencing as well?
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