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male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I started dating at the beginning of the summer. At that point we were hanging out as often as we could because between our schedules we were only free every couple weeks. Now that school has started again I see her everyday. So far we have hung out every weekend but I'm not sure that is what she wants. She never says no, but she never asks either. I always am the one who has to ask if she wants to do something. The other weekend we were struggling to find a time to hang out and she said "well if we can't that is fine because we will see each other all week." I like hanging out every weekend because it's different than at school. We can't get as close or intamite at school. I wonder if she says yes simply because she is afraid to say no since we are dating. I don't want her to feel like I'm not giving her free time Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 September 2013):
 I agree if you are not sure if she WANTS to hang out you should leave it to her. Although I think that hanging out is what friends do... going out on DATES is what couples do.
If you have something specific you want to do (such as go bowling or see a movie) then ask her for that.
OTHER than that... do not ask to just hang out... that gets tiresome and girls need time to do their hair and their nails and to have girl time...
and also there are other friends to see and be with.
So let her know you are available if you are (but the truth is you should be busy too with other friends as well) and wait and see if she wants to hang out.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 It's important to give each other space - that means time to hang out with your friends. That is especially important at your age.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 September 2013):
 When you say "intimate" or "as close" do you mean you get to be really physically close?
There's an aunt here who uses this phrase: stop rowing the relationship boat and see what happens.
I like that idea.
Give her the heads up that you are changing the current normal default setting to a new one: you BOTH take responsibility for setting up the date/hang out times equally.
If she doesn't make an effort then, sadly, you will know that she's either not emotionally equipped to do it, or she's just not all that interested in doing it.
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