A
female
age
26-29,
*ocker_grl_96
writes:I think the guy I like is gay. But I don't think he even knows it yet. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing wrong with gay people, but I have this habit it finding/falling for gay guys and I would rather that not be the case with this guy. I have already asked multiple times and he claims he's not but he is 2 yr younger than me(im 17) and the boy takes tap dance class and his favorite drink is a vanilla bean latte from Starbucks. Plus he is actually clean and has a sense of style unlike most teenage boys. What should I do? I have already asked and he claims not to be so should I just take a chance and ask him out then? Cause we are pretty close and talk all the time anyway but I am not sure. Any advice helps, thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 WOW… just because he takes tap dance and likes vanilla bean lattes does not make him gay. And having a sense of style and being clean.. maybe he’s just OCD not GAY.
The big issue is you are 17 to his 15 which when you two are 25 and 27 won’t matter but as teens it’s a HUGE distance especially because the female is the older partner. Girls truly do mature earlier than boys.
IF you have asked if he is gay and he’s said no… then LET IT GO. You are close and talk all the time, if it’s meant to be it will happen when he’s ready. DO not push it. Enjoy the friendship and stop trying to label it or get in his pants. A 15 yr old boy is still quite young.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Hey Rocker,
A dad's perspective here. He's too young, back off. At 15 being asked about your sexual orientation is creepy. Next May you are going to break his heart any way, so why not keep it on a friendly level for now. He doesn't need a committed, exclusive relationship at this point of his life. I am quite sure he would be flattered at your attention.
BTW keeping it friendly doesn't mean you can't go out and do things together.
FA
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Asking somebody 'multiple' times about their sexuality shows a lack of .... oh so many things. And considering this is a young man, what 15 years old that you are badgering about being gay or not, have you considered what his feelings might be? Are you even aware there is another person here in this scenario besides yourself?
You asked, he said no, I think you should leave him to his tap dancing (did you ever see that movie where Mel Gibson tap danced his way through a lot of the scenes, are you now going to question Mel Gibson's sexuality?
Go find somebody else to badger and leave this kid alone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): if you've asked him and he said no, then he isn't. He's probably going to say no though as you badgered him about his heterosexuality one too many times
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Tap dancing classes and what drink he likes are not really reliable indicators of his sexuality. If he likes kissing boys, then yeah he's probably gay, but liking the taste of vanilla? What, a straight guy can't possibly like vanilla?
If you like him and he says he's not gay, then accept that and ask him out sometime. You'll see if there's chemistry.
Constantly asking him if he's gay is a good way to piss him off and drive him away. It's pretty rude.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Ask him out, if he is gay but not ready to admit it to himself it could take years! Worst scenario you end up with a gay best friend, best scenario he is straight!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 September 2013):
 He knows you like him, right? Why not let him ask you out?
Time is your friend here. There are no deadlines, no one will be fired or let go or lose friends, so why not just wait 6 months and see what's what?
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