A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number.We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much. Suddenly, after a bit of not talking, he said he was going to shower and if I'd like to join. I like being a flirt and I got flirty. I was surprised he was even talking this way since he would mostly talk to me about God and songs about God. I thought he would be very religious and not so sexual.He tried getting me to send him a photo of me naked and I said I didn't want to just yet. ( I don't think I want to at all. ) I told him I didn't want to be a toy and asked him what he wants because we live pretty far away. He first said "I guess nothing is on my mind about it" then later he said he was saving up and that he had grown upset because I think he just wants me for sex and he doesn't want to play anymore. I believe him wanting to come back he talked about it a lot first.We talked dirty a bit and he kept wanting me to show him something to finish him off I just showed him a .gif of something sexy and I wanted to talk to him so I got talkative. All he wanted to talk about was his penis even though he replied to my conversation because he cut me out saying "I'm going to go finish off" I haven't heard from him after that.I thought church guys would be nicer. He showed me his penis, maybe he's mad because I won't show him what he wants. Should I just not talk to him anymore?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Good riddance! You must feel so relieved to have him out of your life. There are many camps out there, no doubt, so good luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your advice! He messaged me the other day and I didn't feel nice ignoring him since Facebook shows people saw the message so I replied and he asked me if I would marry him. I think he's CRAZY! I have blocked and deleted him for sure now though. I doubt I'll go to the same camp next year.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (10 September 2013):
 Steer well clear of him! Not what you'd expect from someone on a church mission!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013): I dated a pastor's son.He was promiscuous, got sexual very quickly and had a kink for violent sex, loved choking me in bed and forcefully screwing me.So yeah, he was not Christian at all. He was also racist and misogynisticI'm not religious, but my morals are much more "right" than his.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 September 2013):
 I would cut the contact, he isn't interested in you, just certain body-parts for him to look at.
And he keeps pressuring you, sooner or later you will feel like you somehow OWE him a look-see and then you will spend the next VERY long time regretting it.
Church guy or not, this is a teen-age boy, they aren't in any way shape better then the rest of them, nor are they morally superior.
And honey, flirting and talking "dirty" is NOT the same thing.
You are wasting your time on this one if you want a friendship or relationship and not just a guy who wants to use you for masturbation material.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 September 2013):
It's pretty clear to me that he really only wants you for sex, despite his protests. FYI, church guys can be just as pervy as anyone else, trust me. Also, if you don't want a sex based relationship, don't start doing sexual things until you've had a better chance to get to know the other person.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 September 2013):
 I got a feeling that you are not totally against him masturbating with your picture. You gave him the picture with the idea of helping him out. He has no right to be mad, feeling he gave you his dick pic and you didn't show him your naked pic. You did come across as a cock teaser. You are in conflict with what you secretly wanted to do and your role to be a God's little helper. I don't think he's mad at all. He's happy with whatever he could get from you, your voice, your continued contact.
Christians have sex drives too. Although he crossed the line and became creepy. I think it's too late to undo the flirting. Someone could have reported him and he wouldn't be able to come back as a camp counselor. But I feel it would be a little unfair for you to do that to him, since you flirted back with him.
Excitement comes in increments. First it was pictures. Later it would be sex talk, positions, moaning. When he feels that you would not continue this he will just find another unsuspecting female.
You should not talk to him anymore. The friendship is not the same and you know that he will always have this ulterior motive when talking to girls. He probably didn't want to talk to you because now he feels ashamed and realized what he had done. I would also not want to go back to the same camp next year.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 September 2013):
I would write him off. He was pressuring you for pictures (it's called sextortion, by the way) and he's not interested in you as a girlfriend. He's just a horny guy using social media and girls he knows a little as masturbatory aids.
Just because someone goes to church doesn't make them a good person. Just because someone is religious doesn't mean they don't have sexual thoughts. There have been some spectacularly seedy sex scandals involving famous preachers. You'd think they'd know better!
Ah well, you now know he's not worth your time. And good for you for not caving in to his sextortion!
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A
male
reader, DKW +, writes (7 September 2013):
Don't bother with him any more. What a hypocrite and he's just using you for a bit of fun. As you get older you'll see that just because someone claims to be religious and goes through the motions, whatever that religion is, doesn't necessarily make them a great guy.
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