A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I move in with my boyfriend even though we hardly see each other? We have been together for over 5 years, but due to his work schedule and social commitments, we see each other once a week at the most. I don't feel we are 'serious' enough to take this step, but he sees it as the best way for us to become serious. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Nope wont work (to bring you closer I mean). Your bf seems to think - like many people do - that simply mimicking some outward signs of a serious relationship is what will make a relationship become serious. Its like when women are fed up with a guy being non commital and yet pressure him for marriage thinking that doing the outward motions of getting married will somehow make his heart become committed.If you move in you'll just continue to not be seeing each other much. You'll come home to an empty house. Then he will get home go to bed wake up and be gone again. But because you happen to be in the same bed he will want more sex. Then you'll get frustrated that you're supposed to be committed (since committed couples are the ones who live together) yet his actions don't show it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
 Nah, I'd let this one go. His priorities are pretty clear and they aren't likely to change.
Unless he's a musician on tour and you now get to go on the bus with him?
Did his cleaning lady quit recently?
It doesn't sound like promising start to a life together, sorry!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 September 2013):
 I think he's trying to get you to be available for sex.... and not much more is likely to come of it....
Sounds terribly one-sided, to me....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): No I wouldn't move in. I did exactly this a few months ago and I find myself spending most of my time on my own while my boyfriend is elsewhere (I've just written my own post if you'd like more detail). Mine is a musician so there is no chance of him changing his schedule, but if possible try to even the balance before you move in rather than after. I hope it works out for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2013):
 I think that he is putting the cart way before the horses. First you become seious, then you go live together.
I also think that if he is a social butterfly who spends a lot of time doing his thing, he needs to learn and make adjustments, and learn to balance more equaally his social life and his relationship, before you go live together. Otherwise most probably lving together will end up just meaning.. that you are more convenienly at hand for a quickie from, say, midnight to 10 past midbight , when he comes home from social committments .
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