A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, it's been 3 months now and I only met my bf twice. I understood that he has just been promoted from his job and needs a lot of travel. But then during his free time, he wouldn't at least meet me for an hour or two regardless of the fact that his house is 40 minutes away from mine via train. Sometimes I was even asking him why couldn't he share with me some of his free time and his alibis were: "i need to work, I must visit my bro, and I'm on overseas work now. At first that was fine with me. Though I knew that I wasn't his first priority and what we were having was just a casual relationship, I still went with the flow because I was interested with him. Due to his hectic sched, we just messaged, flirt and shared jokes on phone, but as always, I was the initiator of the conversation. Since we haven't met for two months and rarely talked then, I got bored and bid goodbye to him via message, he seemed shocked and asked "why?" I told him, "you seem avoiding me with all your alibis", he said he wasn't. We never talked for 2 weeks then. 3 days ago, I messaged him asking to delete all my photos in his phone, but he said, "hey sweetie, I have saved them" I didn't answer him wondering if he was thinking we were together yet. He sent another message "are you leaving me?" I said he has no time for me and then he said he needs to focus on his job and he couldn't just spend all his free time for me, and saying that we should keep things casually and no pressuring and blah blah blah (with matching teary emoticon)now, why would he still want to keep the relationship if he has no time for me? I assume he knew that there's no benefit in this kind of relationship, i'm not a big lost to him. I understand his situation, but can't he just sacrifice few of his time for me? And am I pressuring him with what i am asking? Is there any suggestion you can share on what to do w/ this? To stop or to continue? Why and or how? Thanks a lot:)
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 We have an old saying here: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." In this circumstance it applies as, he's got you (the bird in the hand) that he just sweet talks every now and again and if people ask, yes, he has a girlfriend. Being a completely single guy with no prospects is a lot less comfortable for some men, so he chooses to keep you floating around for when he has a spare hour or two.
You are not his first priority, nor are you his second or third or even fourth priority. Just stop texting him and the relationship will die its natural death.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 HI
Honestly? the guy is a complete player and a jerk. Don't reply or text him again you deserve much much better. You WILL find the right man for you, just hold back a bit and don't rush into a guys arms or become his text or sext buddy to please HIM . please YOU, you need to be stronger and understand the more you let guys treat you like a door mat , you will become one !!!
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 September 2013):
 is this you: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-would-he-still-want-to-keep-the.html
same answer even if it's not.
why would he want... cause you are the safety net... in case nothing better (in his eyes) comes along
dump him.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 That is not a good or proper relationship. I know of some long distance relationships where more effort is made. Your bf is not making any effort at all.
I would not be surprised if he is juggling women. Is this how you want to be treated? There are other men who will want to spend time with you. Don't go back to this guy.
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