A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello.i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation...this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've been told i could be a model many times but i'm just not too much of an outgoing and social person. now here's where things get interesting: long story short, last october, i met the most wonderful girl EVER on a video game. she's unusually attractive and has the BEST possible personality that a guy can find in a girl of such amazing beauty. and she's a gamer!! anyway, in the very beginning, she told me she has a boyfriend, but that didn't stop us from being interested in each other. we started talking and became really close really fast, including sexually by doing things on webcam, facetime, etc. and we still are close to this day, just not sexually b/c she doesn't want to continue cheating on her bf (despite her telling me that i'm able to get her off more than her bf can, which is crazy considering we haven't had actual sex). she's recently started feeling guilty about having feelings for me and being sexual this entire time. she tried to stop dozens of times in the past but couldn't but now it seems like she's more serious about it than ever and we haven't done anything for over a month. anyhow, we are planning on meeting each other within the next few months. she lives in tx and i live in ny. i know how much of a distance that is but i am eager to see her in person and vice versa. we are VERY compatible. she is my dream girl and it bugs me each and every day that she's not only in a relationship but lives far away from me. so as you can imagine, i would really love to have sex with her being i'm a 24 year old virgin and all and deep down inside, i know she wants too as well. recently, she said the only thing she'll do with me is make out but in my opinion, i think that will really turn the both of us on and there's a good chance that will lead to other things as we wouldn't be able to resist. if i leave texas still a virgin, i will regret it tremendously and beat myself up over it afterwards. so my question: do i go ahead with it and FINALLY lose my virginity to this absolutely amazing gamer girl?? or do i try my best to resist given the fact that i could possibly make her feel very guilty if she cheated and have her probably hate me for it? i'd really appreciate your opinion and wisdom on my situation. hope to get some decent replies
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni WISH we could be a couple. she's PERFECT for me. there aren't girls like her around here unfortunately. the least i could do is go & see her & see what happens. whats a bigamist? OH! & i was hoping to to get 69 answers lol. so keep responding people just a few more! HAHA
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 October 2013):
 So you dont want her to leave her boyfriend, but you want to "work towards" becoming a couple. So... Katie is a bigamist? Ah, that explains it all!
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (1 October 2013):
 People who cheat show their true character. you don't have to agree with this, but since this is an opinion and advice site, I'm sharing mine. cheating is the ultimate deception of someone you claim to care about. the fact that she can screw around with you online and still be with her boyfriend and look him in the eyes at the end if the day is a red flag. It shows her utter lack of commitment and disregard of his feelings. Just because she "started to feel bad" doesn't make her a better person. After all, she's still saying she's gonna meet up with you and make out with you right? Okay, so she's still a lying cheater. And perhaps you don't care about that because it doesn't effect you. Perhaps all you're thinking about is whether or not you're gonna get some. And that's okay. But her character is lacking, whether you see it or not, and that's what the people here are trying to say. When you commit to someone, you do NOT stab them in the back like that. It's shitty and it's awful and it hurts like hell. You excuse and justify her behavior by choosing to believe it's because she can't help herself. no, that's the excuse cheaters give for justifying their actions. everyone has met a person of temptation while in a relationship. to expect to never meet someone who tempts you is unreasonable. its what you choose to do with that temptation that shows your true character. And she is showing hers. She has chosen to cheat repeatedly, over and over, rather than do what she should have done, and respect her boyfriend and removed you from her life and stayed faithful. That's what respectable people do. don't be blind to that. You'll defend that by saying she started to feel bad for her behavior and you two haven't done that in a month or so. But yet she wants to meet you and make out? That's still cheating!!
In my opinion, I think this has been justified in her mind because it's all been from behind a computer screen. That since you've never technically ever touched her, she's not done anything wrong. I don't think she'll sleep with you. That's when this whole thing becomes too "real" for her. In other words, she's found a loop hole for her to not feel guilty - the computer. But when you meet her in real life, she will panic and she already knows she won't be game for that. Hence her already stating she doesn't want sex. she won't give it up, if you ask me my opinion. I honestly am not even sure if I think she will even show at all to meet you. Most likely, she will push off meeting you and push back the date over and over until you finally give up.
If you know for certain she's so wonderful, and we are all wrong, then don't waste your time here. go to Texas and screw the hell out of her. Who cares what anyone else says? Do whatever you want to do. But this also reflects on your character, as well. And keep in mind that karma is a mother fucker.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is what I was trying to explain before. You just said it yourself,
"I know it's hard for all of you to believe she's got a great personality, she'll 's beautiful, we have a lot in common, etc. "
Since that's what you so deeply believe, then why not just go for it instead of pushing the argument forward with all of us? Obviously you know her 10 times better than we do. So if you believe all that stuff you just said, then stop talking and start doing. I mean what other advice are you possibly looking for?
~Questing For Love
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2013):
 Tell me, are you really 22-25 years old? You sound more like a 7th grader with a crush on his homeroom teacher. Give my 13 year old grandson your credit card and he can book your flight for you. Sheesh man, piss or get off the pot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionchigirl i have NEVER EVER expected katie to leave her boyfriend for me. why would she do that? i know how she feels about him. she's told me about him, good & bad things. she's never kept it a secret. i know they're happy together. we have never "officially" made it a relationship. i've never called her my girlfriend & she's never called me her boyfriend (we just acted like it). & that's fine. i get that... but if she was single, we would be together. that's what she's said all along. i would work on moving there so we could be. wishful thinking though. the least i could do now is visit her every now & then i guess. & the coughing up money part. haha NOT GONNA HAPPEN. that's not the kind of person i'm dealing with here. & i know for a fact that i will never meet another girl like her. i do want to be in a relationship eventually but i know whoever the girl turns out to be if i do get in one, won't hold a candle to katie. she really is one of a kind. i could just go on & on & on about her but NOBODY will ever understand how wonderful she is
llifton was never a technically a relationship.. she's cheated on her bf with me & she doesn't want to worsen it by doing what she's done with me to other guys so she's not some internet slut! whenever she's not with the boyfriend, she's either sleeping, talking to me or playing a game. therefore i know she doesn't have time to talk to other guys. she really isn't like that. i'm the first guy she's ever met online that she's ever been involved with like this. look i know it's hard for all of you to believe that a really attractive girl with an amazing personality that's cheated on her boyfriend & who i have a lot in common with, is actually legit & has no ulterior motives. well she exists & she's not one of those slutty girls who lie & talks to a bunch of men & all that nonsense. she's a great person. & her boyfriend is the luckiest guy on the planet to have her. i really envy him
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reader, llifton +, writes (1 October 2013):
i was relieved when you said the girls name was katie. for a minute, i was truly convinced it was my ex. lol. she just moved to texas.
let me tell you all about her. we dated for two years - living together and everything. what did she do behind my back literally the entire time? cheat. with who? people she met online. she even carried on full "relationships" with these people for six months, even a year at a time, much like you. they knew i existed (however, i didn't know about them), but all she did was trash me to them. she would say all we did was fight, and she was unhappy, and that our sex life dwindled down to nothing, etc, etc. but she had absolutely no intention of leaving me. not a chance. we were comfortable and i was her support network. i was "real life", not internet.
anyway, these people always fell madly in love with her. i'm talking wanted to marry her and everything. there's not one thing these people would not have done for her. they thought she was the most amazing and wonderful woman in the world. boy were they blinded. she was a snake. lying and deceptive and awful. she was no prize. she was a parasite who sucks you dry and then leaves you. but these people had the same view point as you - that she's beautiful and they couldn't imagine their luck in meeting her. in fact, that's how i felt about her when we first met. i couldn't believe my luck. that's what liars do, my friend. they lie and manipulate. and they seem so genuine and pure. and let me tell you this - i have a degree in psychology, and she STILL flew under my radar. no matter how great you think you are at spotting a snake, you can still be fooled. anyway, when push came to shove, she always dropped these people like a bad habit when she worried i might find out about them. in fact, one time, i actually caught her cheating, and she literally cut that girl out of her life without even a second thought or a blink (after talking for a year) because she never really actually cared about them. they were an ego boost. and she had about 12 more girls just like her to replace her. and she wasn't about to lose me over her. as i said, i was real life.
this girl's playing you. her boyfriend is real, and he's who she really plans on being with. this "relationship" you two are building is a lie. you are an ego boost. no matter how many personal and emotional conversations you two share, you are still not anything to her besides an ego stroke. and she will NOT hesitate to drop you on your head if her boyfriend finds out about you and you won't even see it coming. you are to her what those other people were to my ex - a way to pass the time.
anyway, fly out to texas and sleep with her. if it's that important to you to lose your virginity, go for it! i hope she rocks you and your big penis's socks off. however, just see it for what it is - a f*ck. don't get your feelings involved and expect you will become her boyfriend or anything. you don't see it now because you are blinded. but you will. believe me. mark my words.
good luck.
oh, and unusually attractive? lol. i don't know why, but that just keeps making me laugh.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): Another last thing to remember is that sooner or later you will have to choose between this online girl or a real life relationship. Girls dont like to share, and no real life girl will want to play second runner up to a girl you are frequently in contact with and who holds such a good grip on you. If you want a real life relationship at some point, youre going to have to let this girl go.
So, you tell me, how great is her grip on you? How whipped are you (your terms)? Are you going to not have a real relationship ever in your life, because you promised this "fragile" little girl to always be there for her? Does she have that much power over you?
Oh well, your loss. You need to make your own mistakes and learn your own life lessons.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): Look, we´re really back at two options, like said before. Either you are a friend of this girl and actually care about her, or you care only about getting laid. In fact it sounds like you want more than friendship because you are in love with her. Being in love with her you think love excuses all actions, so you throw your morals aside to have sex with her. Ultimately, that is a selfish decision. Because if this girl wanted to, she could break up with her boyfriend and be with you, and have sex, without any complications. You´d be together and live happily ever after. But you know that´s not going to happen, even though you don´t want to admit it. You´re hoping she will leave her boyfriend so you ca be together. But it doesn´t look like she´s about to. Have you asked her why she will not leave her boyfriend, seeing as you and her have such perfect chemistry, get on like a house on fire, and are seemingly meant to be? So, you´re settling with second best, which is being a piece on the side because you are in love with her. You throw your morals out the window, because you are selfish and want at least a little bite of the cake that isn´t yours. And she hands it out, just enough to keep you wanting more. It´s a respect thing. If she had respect for you she´d not start this affair with you. If you had respect for her, you´d not help her cheat. To me, you´re both just doing whatever pleases you, without much care or regard for one another. She doesnt care that she´s playing with your feelings and leading you on. You don´t care she´s turned into a cheater and a liar and that her relationship is most likely already broken because of it. You don´t care if you break them up. It´s what you want. You don´t care what she wants, or what´s best for her. You care about your satisfying your own needs. Funny how she threatened you (without you even seeing it) by saying if her boyfriend finds out she will not speak to you again. Actually, its not funny, its sad how it´s so obvious that she never intends to be with you, yet you keep hoping she will.So be selfish and do whatever you want, which is the only other option here. But at least then stop pretending to care about one another. Stop defending her like she´s your own girlfriend. She doesn´t get a special "honest" reward for not having cheated for a whole month. OMG a whole month of keeping her pants on! Wow.. impressive.. not. Look fly to Texas, have sex, lose your virginity. That is after all what bothers you the most here, your virginity. Losing your virginity is more important than being honest, having self respect, respecting your partner, and showing genuine care about your partner. But it might as well be done with her, because then you´re not doing anything but use her just the same she´s using you. That is, if Tisha isn´t right in her guess that you will have to cough up some money before she puts out.Just don´t fool yourself into thinking she actually cares about you or wants to be with you. If she did she´d be with you, simple as that. Maybe you shared with her parts of what we wrote about her, but did you share the part where you say how you feel about her? Did you share the part where we tell you your rose tinted glasses colour your view of her? Or do you fake it and tell her you´re just a friend, not looking for more?Btw, you book tickets online. Just google it. -chigirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): Here's a story that is actually a bit different from your situation, but maybe you'll take something reasonable from it.My friend's friend, Lindsay, let's call her, dropped out of college. She works part time jobs and basically has no sense of direction in her life. All the while she kept talking to this online gamer from Australia. They had web sex or whatever. She claimed to be in love with this guy and blah blah blah. Finally, she decided to earn enough money to go to Australia to see the guy. My friend advised her not to - because all Lindsay and the guy were going to do was have sex. Also, if this guy really cared about her, why doesn't he meet her halfway or come to the states where she was? Overall, it seemed dangerous and sketchy. After all, who knew what life this guy had behind the laptop screen. Lindsay and my friend got into this huge argument and Lindsay insisted on proving my friend wrong. She went to Australia and has been there for at least two months now. And, yes, she did sleep with this guy who she only ever talked to on the internet. She even sent my friend a postcard to say, "See I told you. Nothing bad happened." Well, I guess in Lindsay's eyes, things worked out and she was right. But, what's going to happen when she returns to the states with her wallet drained, her time wasted with some guy she'll see...how often? And this guy isn't going to cheat on her? You said this isn't just about sex, but how are you going to maintain a relationship with this girl? She has a boyfriend and she lives far away from you. Are you sure this isn't just about having sex with this oh-so perfect girl who lies to her boyfriend? Or are you a believer of LDRs?Nothing wrong with LDR's or meeting a companion online, but most people usually believe or know that the person they're in a relationship with is single. In your case, you know your LDR girlfriend is in fact taken, yet you want to form a meaningful relationship with her...
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioneyeswideopen "Book the ticket chicken ass book the ticket and prove all of us wrong."
oh i want to just not now. how do i book a ticket though? that stuff seems really complicated to me
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2013):
Book the ticket chicken ass book the ticket and prove all of us wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 I haven't lied. I just haven't told him any details about her. I really don't have to. & besides, I only see him a couple of times a month. we're not close. also, she's naturally really shy until she gets to know someone & she's never been my girlfriend. it's just been an online romance kind of thing ...
one night in may, she said she had something to tell me. I said okay go ahead. she went on to say she likes how I talk dirty to her b/c it really turns her on. something her bf doesn't do. she said he only wanted sex when HE was in the mood but not when she was. whenever she wanted it, he'd say something like his back hurts. she said he doesn't do things like letting her know when he's gonna cum, something I'd do. she likes that. this was the first & ONLY time she ever went in depth about her sex life. she told me all this b/c it was something that was stressing her out at the time & she wanted to get it off her chest & so that I knew why she'd get sexual, besides the fact of being really into me. I then asked if she would have sex with me in person & she told me it'd be "unavoidable". I'm not sure if she feels the same way anymore though. so yea I wanted to clarify that. that was the only time she told me how lame he is in sex
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 October 2013):
 A whole lot of lying seems to be going on. Again, assuming this is a 19 year old trembling shy introverted girl who has cheated on her boyfriend for 10 months, describing his lame sex acts to an online boyfriend she has never met in real life. She does sound so amazingly honest and trustworthy.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 October 2013):
So you've lied to your brother. Nice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 "Ah, so your older brother is aware of katie and the situation? If not, then it's time to clue him in."
i've told him about her but he doesn't really know any details. i've shown him a few pictures of her & unsurprisingly, he said she's beautiful
Daisy_Daisy "Glad you plan to go with your brother and his girlfriend and not alone, but you're leaving a lot of questions unanswered. When will you explain who this girl is to your brother? How will you explain your disappearance from them to make out etc with her? What do you hope for afterwards, long term? Think it through rationally.
And please try to heed the advise you've got so far. None of the regular aunts and uncles here picking on you, rather trying to help. You seem very blinkered in what you choose to read/ respond to/ accept. We are all concerned for your well being, and you appear to be veering wildly off track."
simple. i'll tell him the truth. what i'm hoping for long term is to just continue having her in my life & be there for her. she wants that. she's promised to have me in her life forever & that the only way she will cut contact with me is if he found out about everything. so long term, if everything goes well the first time, i'd like to visit her again. hopefully they'll break up for whatever reason & i'll have her all to myself... although that's unlikely, it's possible
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reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 Glad you plan to go with your brother and his girlfriend and not alone, but you're leaving a lot of questions unanswered. When will you explain who this girl is to your brother? How will you explain your disappearance from them to make out etc with her? What do you hope for afterwards, long term? Think it through rationally.
And please try to heed the advise you've got so far. None of the regular aunts and uncles here picking on you, rather trying to help. You seem very blinkered in what you choose to read/ respond to/ accept. We are all concerned for your well being, and you appear to be veering wildly off track.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 October 2013):
Ah, so your older brother is aware of katie and the situation? If not, then it's time to clue him in.
You really are avoiding the pertinent questions, aren't you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFatherly Advice "I can't say that I am satisfied with your safety. Secondly I think you jumped past the advice and settled on the forget line. I don't care if you chat with her online until you're 99. What I am worried about is this duplicitous relationship you two are in. Someone is going to get hurt. You need to back it down and do it right.
FA" i'll be safe with her. she's harmless. also, it's not as much as a relationship like it used to be. nowadays, she doesn't want to cheat anymore so it's sort of like a friendship now. nothing sexual since late august. i never really mentioned that this entire time, she's acknowledged that the cheating is bad & she tried to stop for the longest time. & apparently she has. she even blames me from time to time for getting her to do things with me when one of the very first things she told me is that she has a boyfriend. i didn't care & neither did she.. but she never wants to admit that. girls...
eyeswideopen she lives in austin. & it's not all talk. i actually want to go
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2013):
You aren't really going to go are you, it's all talk.
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2013):
I don't know where she lives in TX but boy howdy Dallas Ft Worth is a nightmare of an airport, be prepared. Best get that ticket Buddy.
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reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (1 October 2013):
 I can't say that I am satisfied with your safety. Secondly I think you jumped past the advice and settled on the forget line. I don't care if you chat with her online until you're 99. What I am worried about is this duplicitous relationship you two are in. Someone is going to get hurt. You need to back it down and do it right.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 i'm not ready to go b/c my brother isn't ready yet. & if i do end up going & post on here what happened, how will everyone get notified??
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
Okay, do let us know how it all plays out.
Any reason you need to wait a few months? Why not go ahead and buy a ticket now? I've heard the best time to buy is Tuesday evening or Wednesday because that's when the ticket prices drop.
As she doesn't have a job and isn't attending school then her schedule is wide open. Get a hotel room and see how it all plays out.
Just be sure to notify friends and family where you are in case it all goes south.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDaisy_Daisy i hope to go with my older brother & his girlfriend
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionQuesting for Love my situation is unique. that's why everyone thinks this is a bad idea. we want to meet each other. not necessarily to have sex but to just see each other in person & hang out & have fun. i've never traveled before too so this will be like killing two birds with one stone. if i'm gonna travel, it might as well be to see katie ;)
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reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (30 September 2013):
Reading through all this, I'm very worried that you plan to visit this girl without your friends or family knowing about her. If you were online dating, you'd be advised to tell someone of your plans before meeting face to face, and this is no different. In fact it's even more important in your case because you'll be travelling to a strange city, where there's a boyfriend in the background.
Do you just want to lose your virginity or establish a proper relationship with her? It's not very clear. What would you expect to happen after the sex, assuming it happens? It bugs you that she's in a relationship - has she ever talked of ending it so she can establish something more formal with you? Do you want something more formal, or will you be satisfied after you lose your virginity?
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reader, Questing for Love +, writes (30 September 2013):
 It seems that you oppose what everyone is telling you. And you justify it with your own reasoning. It pretty much seems like you just want the answer "Yes, go fly to Texas on a whim and lose your virginity."
No one here is going to think that's a good idea at all. You wanted advice and people answered. The fact that at least 15 people (yes I counted) share the same opinion on the situation, don't you think that's a sign that maybe, just maybe this might not be such a good idea?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFatherly Advice i'm not going to just forget about her. that'll sadden her. we've been really close for a long time. i care about her. she's not a bad person by any means. she's very soft-spoken & fragile. a cute, shy, & sensitive creature that just happens to be unusually attractive. oh & i think i'll be staying at her house while her parents are at work. we trust each other. she won't do anything to me. she doesn't drive. she just started learning though
Tisha-1 i already know people will say she's fake b/c that's what everyone thinks. i'm a bit of a private person anyways so i don't need anyone knowing. whenever she's online playing a game, it's either with me or she's playing a single player game. so i'm the only person she plays with pretty much. she's not one of those girls that has a ton of guy friends on her list & talks & plays w/ all of them for attention
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
So you already know that people will tell you she's a fake? Interesting.
She says her boyfriend is lame in bed… are you prepared for her to go online and review your first sexual experience? Because her link to the world appears to be gaming and online…. She knows your gamer names…. she knows who your friends are online….
I see disaster looming….
Oh, and the inconvenient lame unkinky boyfriend….. hm.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Yeah, when is this Texas visit happening exactly? And are you going to wow her with your big penis in her parents home? Or what? Is she going to stay with you in a hotel? How will she explain this to her parents? And where will the boyfriend be during this visit? Have you thought it through? These are all REAL LIFE, practical questions.
I can actually understand why an attractive, social misfit would do exactly what this woman is doing - cheating for validation and to pass time. And you, as a desperate male social misfit, falling for it. What a toxic, dysfunctional combination. It's very sad.
I'd eat my hat if this visit ever takes place, or if she turns up to meet you.
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reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 September 2013):
Hey,
I'm from the west and I might have a different perspective on this.
There is an old saying out here, "If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a duck". Now we don't know who she is or what's going on, but we have seen a few ducks and sonny, this looks like a duck.
I'm not going to tell you what to do, you are an adult. You want to blow a few hundred dollars and fly off to Texas, that's up to you. People have done it for less valid reasons. But for Pete's sake don't leave your common sense at home. Make sure you meet at a neutral location of your choosing. In public where people can see you. After that meeting you can arrange a proper date. Same is true if she is planning to fly to New York.
Now you started out with a different question and as I am using up your time let me try to answer that one to. You asked if you should try to have sex with her. I think you were more concerned with losing your virginity. My advice from a guy who has seen too much hurt is this. Don't start a relationship with a lie. Any person who is willing to cheat on their committed relationship with you, will be willing to cheat on you. Besides all that risk, it's just not right to be hitting on another guy's girl. The proper way, (so I'm told) is to break up first, then start dating around. Personally to me the proper way is to not go looking when you already bought. So forget this underhanded girl. Get you someone who will make you first place, not the relief pitcher.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 no i haven't told anyone about her b/c they don't need to know & i'll get the same kinds of responses that she's a "fake" & blah blah blah.
& at first she told me should would want to have sex & then she'd feel guilty & say no & then she'd say yes, then no rinse & repeat. if she was single, i know for sure it would be a definite yes. she said she would make out with me but would that not lead to other things? i think so
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
And presumably you've told her that you were planning to come visit her in order to lose your unwanted virgin status? And she's onboard with that, since you two are so close?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 September 2013):
Better buy your ticket to Texas before the big Thanksgiving rush.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
And you've introduced her to your family?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 "You know nothing about this person other than what 'she' has chosen to tell you. I don't believe that she is a 19 year old girl living at home, amazingly attractive yet so shy she's socially crippled."
yes i do. a lot of times when we talk, her parents barge in on her b/c she doesn't have a lock on her door. she lives with her younger brother as well. she tells me about them. she tells me A LOT. her parents don't really want her talking to "internet people" but she she has this entire time behind their backs b/c we are very close with one another & she cares. we know each other like the back of our hands. we finish each others sentences. we think the same thing at the same time. we have chemistry. we have a lot in common
"What was the name of the football player who was completely taken in by a fake persona? Manti Te'o, I think it was."
that's TOTALLY different. it was a man pretending to be a woman. manti te'o is an IDIOT. i've seen this girl on camera. i know EXACTLY what she looks like. every single inch of her body & she's 110% woman with absolutely no ulterior motives. i'm not naive or gullible. i don't blame you for thinking that though b/c unusually attractive girls with great personalities simply don't exist over the internet huh? (sarcasm)
chigirl she's not a mom. her best friend from school who she doesn't talk to anymore is a mom, but not her. we've spent TONS & TONS & TONS of time talking to each other & i've never heard a child. she's not a mother okay. not in this case.. look she's not perfect. obviously no one is. she does things that annoy me & what not but that's how things are. actually, i've told her a few of the things you women have said & her reaction was like "WHAAAAT?" & she laughed
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 September 2013):
A "mistake" that been going on for a year? I want some of whatever you're smoking. Go to Texas then write us when you get back.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 September 2013):
Where does she get her income from?
There's no "what the hell" about thinking she could be a single mom. Lots of women are.
Look, you're in love, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be stupid. Why is it unlikely that she could be a single mom? She's not a devoted Christian who is saving herself for marriage, she could very well have a kid. I wouldn't guess at it being that she's 19, but you didn't state her age until just now.
I think you're being very naive if you believe anything bad about her is unthinkable. She most definitely could have a child without you knowing it, they're NOT that hard to hide when you only know someone online. I'm not saying she does, but I'm saying your "what the hell" comment shows how naive you're being.
You wont know what she's lied to you about until you find out. You just don't know, and you can kick and scream that you know, but ultimately you don't. Oh sure, "nothing major"... Keep telling yourself that. I'm sure it's nothing major that she cheats on her boyfriend either.
Look... She's not that amazing. That's the simple truth. You can do better. I've been 19 too, I could control myself. It's not that hard. You're excusing her so much because you don't want to face the facts. But one day soon you'll have to wake up. Please wake up before she uses you. It's not a good feeling to be used, and you clearly have feelings for this girl. I think it would be best if you broke off contact with her.
If she's so alone and without friends she needs to get out more and make friends. She needs to get a grip on her life and find a job, or study, not waste her time and yours in front of the computer while mooching off of someone or other.
"you wouldn't think that. she cheated on her boyfriend with me for about 10 months yes.. but everyone makes mistakes"
10 months of cheating isn't a mistake, it's an on going affair that is made in full consciousness. It's not a mistake, it's part of who she is. She could be an amazing person, but as a partner.. no, she actually is not that great.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
Oh dear, you have it bad.
The big penis thing, I have to agree with ChiGirl, while I'm sure it's a perfectly fine penis, women just aren't wired to be visual as men are. If we were, Playgirl magazine would have flown off the shelves. As it is, I think gay men are the ones keeping it afloat. So that's a little 'tell' to me that she is telling you what you want to hear.
You know nothing about this person other than what 'she' has chosen to tell you. I don't believe that she is a 19 year old girl living at home, amazingly attractive yet so shy she's socially crippled.
What was the name of the football player who was completely taken in by a fake persona? Manti Te'o, I think it was.
This person you've met online simply doesn't pass the smell test. She's a fake, a phony and has stopped the online sex thing because you haven't given her enough money. She hasn't stopped contact with you because you still believe her story.
I'm sorry, you are being incredibly naive and gullible.
Run this by people you know in real life. Introduce her, on camera, to your parents.
Right. You can't.
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female
reader, ModelCitizen +, writes (30 September 2013):
So as well as cheating on him, she told you all about her boyfriend's sexual preferences and claims he is rubbish in bed? Classy lady! Have you ever stopped to think what she's says to him about you when you can't hear? Listen I think you are making this girl feel really good about herself because you are showering her with attention. That's why she keeps you around - you are her ego boost. All cheats will say their partner is mean/boring/bad in bed, or whatever to keep the other person interested. Just as they tell their partner that the person they are cheating with means nothing to them. I feel for you because you obviously like her a lot, but you are not looking at this objectively and I think you will get hurt if you go to visit her. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if you did go out there and she didn't turn up to meet you. Because its easy to say these things to a stranger over a webcam. It's safe and she can say and be whatever and whoever she wants to. The minute you turn up you are real and the charade is over. I know it's not what you want to hear, but she has already proven on several occasions that she is not trustworthy (lying, cheating etc) so its a safe assumption that she will have lied about other things and cheated with/on others. Please don't be so quick to trust someone you've never met or you could end up getting really hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionchigirl she's 19 & isn't doing anything at the moment. she was going to community college for a bit but it was too much for her so she wants to look for a job instead & maybe go back next year.
she's NOT a mother (what the hell?). she's not that crazy about sex as i make her out to be. she's not a big fat liar. i'm sure she's lied to me before but nothing major. everyone does. & she's NEVER asked me for anything like i said & it's going to be a year since we've been talking. so what does that say? she's not crazy about money. she doesn't think it's important. there's a reason why we're so close to each other for almost a year now. she's a loner & i console her when she's feeling down. i'm a good listener & she loves that. she told me that's my best trait. when she's not with him she's talking to me. what's so hard to believe that a really shy & attractive girl has no friends & no social life?
if it wasn't for her boyfriend, she'd be home all the time b/c she has nobody else to talk to. & like i've said, the cheating has stopped since mid to late august. she feels guilty about it! she's the most honest girl i've ever known & to be honest, as good as it gets when it comes to girls. yea she's cheated, but i really don't care. she's 19 & couldn't control herself whenever she was horny & in the mood. & saying she's not great is a bit offensive. if you knew what i knew about her, you wouldn't think that. she cheated on her boyfriend with me for about 10 months yes.. but everyone makes mistakes
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 September 2013):
We're not trying to make a fool out of you, but actually trying to help you.
You're really caught up about this girl, you've fallen madly in love with her. That's why you don't see the really weird parts of this story, how unlikely this scenario is.
You don't know her. She's only telling you what she wants you to know. If you were there in real life with her, you'd see all the things she's not telling you. I was in a relationship with a man online, and when we lived together for 3 months is when I finally got to see who he truly was. The car he showed me a picture of and said was his? It was his dads. The friends he told me about that he was best buddies with? Suddenly they had vanished, out of the blue, apparently. And the small fights we sometimes had? He was punching walls and screaming at the top of his lungs right in my face, blocking the exit so I couldn't leave the room. Online I never saw that. The level of someone screaming at you is nicely camouflaged in text.
When knowing somone strickly online you miss out on the full picture.I thought my ex was honest with me too, I didn't find out about all his lies until I lived with him. And this girl, well you already know she's a liar. And yet you haven't even seen the full extent of it.
There is one thing I have an urgent need to enlighten you on. No woman is impressed or turned on by a man's penis size. That's something we say only to please the man. Like right out of a porno. It's what men want to hear.
It's not to say you don't have a big penis, but a penis doesn't turn a woman on same as boobs turn a man on. A penis is not that sexy to us. We're far more interested in your biceps.
Don't take offense, I'm sure you look lovely, but that's just how it is.
As for her boyfriend being bad in bed, again you don't know that. You only know what she's telling you, and you know she's skilled at lying. She cheats on her boyfriend, after all. The sweet, little, shy and cute girl is a big, fat liar. So of course there are other lies she tells. When people are capable of cheating they are capable of lying about quite a bit, as you will find out sooner or later. She's a liar, end of the story.
As for the excuse for her cheating. This line she's told you is the classic line of cheaters. It's either the "we're in an unhappy marriage/relationship" or it's the "we don't have sex" story. If she wasn't happy she could find another boyfriend. The fact that she's staying tells you all you need to know.
You can't be naive and think that she only has you as her side treat. You need to use your head. Maybe you are the only one, but it is far more likely that she has several others she "opens up to" and cybers with. Part of the illusion is to make each one feel special and like there's no one else.
As for the gifts, to give a stranger online anything at all is giving too much. The gifts you gave her.. you shouldn't have even given her a card. I've dated guys online, one I became a IRL couple with as mentioned before. Even we didn't gift each other.
I have a best friend online who I've known for 8 years. We have never gifted each other. It's just not what you do. And your gifts were expensive too. She shouldn't have accepted them.
How old is she anyway? 16? If she's an adult I wonder if she's got a kid she's trying to support. Why would she need her boyfriend to buy her things? She doesn't have a job? The internet is full of single moms who hang out online in the hopes of landing some cash or a man who will support her, because welfare doesn't offer much. They're very slutty online. I've had male characters online (yes, I'm one of those fakers), these women practically throw themselves at you.
Just because she hasn't asked for anything yet doesn't mean she wont, is she's a scam then it's all part of the grooming process.
In either case, if she's not trying to get money from you, she either way isn't that great of a person. You can't look away from the lying and cheating, no matter how crazy in love with her you are. I know, you so badly want her to be real, but even if she was... is this who you'd want?
Girls with great looks and amazing personality do live where you live, close by, you just haven't met them yet. And while you're drooling over the online fantasy you will never get to meet them either.
Either you are in love with this girl, or you're just interested in using her for sex. If you just want sex, go ahead. Tempt her with your penis and make her spread her legs for you. Mind if I ask where her boyfriend will be while you're visiting? Will she let you visit her at home?
But you want more, don't you? You're in love with her. And what happens when people fall in love is that they ignore the red flags and just see rainbows and puppies. Look at you, you're even excusing her cheating and calling her an honest person. She can't be an honest person when she is a cheater, those two are mutually exclusive.
I'm not saying you're stupid for falling in love, you're looking for love, and you got desperate. So you were willing to believe almost anything. It's human, it's natural. But before you do something you regret, try to look at her without the rose tinted glasses and see her for who she truly is.
You're going to make some girl lucky to have you as her boyfriend, but this online girl doesn't want you. This online girl doesn't respect you. Please wake up from the trance and see her for what she truly is, and stop wasting your time on her when there are real women to be found who will give you love and affection without the lying and cheating.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Since she's already said she won't have sex with you, isn't this discussion a bit pointless? It's not going happen, buddy. You really shouldn't be proud of getting her out of her shell in the way you describe - cheating and web cam sex with strangers isn't exactly bringing out the best in her!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionone thing I forgot to mention is one of the reasons she did all these things with me is b/c her bf is lame in bed & not kinky enough. doesn't talk dirty to her. she told me they're not sexually compatible & gave excuses to not have sex. I turned her on well telling her the kinds of things I would do & by showing her my big penis.
& another thing, there's proof that she does have a boyfriend. she has tons of pictures of them together on fb & I played a game with her a few times while he was there talking next to her
oh & I don't game all day, she doesn't any have friends b/c after high school, they grew apart from. they basically abandoned her & she's always felt bad about that. & she's too shy to make new friends. she's a REALLY shy girl unless she knows the person well . I'm just amazed how much I've opened this shy girl up I remember how she was in the beginning but i had a feeling she had a dirty side to her
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): You are hugely wrapped up in this online stuff. You said the girl has no friends, no one to talk to except you and her boyfriend. Why is that? If she's so amazing, why doesn't she have friends? Do you have any friends? (Online people who you've never met don't count!). Honestly, how much time do you spending gaming and skyping rather than going outdoors and meeting people in real life?I'm not convinced she's a scammer but she's certainly odd, and not such a great person considering that she cheats on her boyfriend and has webcam sex with a guy she doesn't know in real life. The situation is very, very odd, OP. I wonder whether you'll even leave your PC to visit her in Texas or whether this is just a big fantasy. I think you're deluded. And the first anon poster makes a good point that IF you do visit her, beware of the boyfriend (IF he really exists).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): She's not a scammer she's just not a very nice person. Cheating on her boyfriend repeatedly via webcam with u... How do u know that she's not doing it with other men as well? I'd try and distance yourself a bit
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Im dirty but you have your rose coloured glasses on with this one. She is not trustworthy AT ALL since she is already LYING to her boyfriend. If she's capable of it with him, then she is with you too. I know you really like her, but you have to stop and realise that in the best case scenario, you are still the bit on the side. I'm not as convinced that she's a scammer, but she's definitely not the lovely caring woman you think she is I'm afraid. Such a woman would not be having sex (real or cyber) with two men. Even if she has stopped now, she's still a cheat. 'Not being able to resist' is line number one from the cheaters handbook and it is NOT an excuse! I do wish you luck but I hope that you step back and stop viewing this woman as perfect, as a lot of what she has done so far is pretty shady. If she can treat her boyfriend like that (and remember she will be saying the same things to him when she's having real life sex with him) then she's not going to be loyal to you either. She's treating you both with disrespect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere you go again with that scamming nonsense. I know that's a not happening to me so I'm not worried one bit. all of this is hard to believe so I understand why you think that. it's okay though
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
She's a great girl, whom you've never met in person, just that little teensy weensy problem of cheating on the current boyfriend.
She's unusually attractive, with a great personality and is honest and trustworthy. Other than the cheating on her boyfriend problem.
So we have an absolutely gorgeous woman with the exact right personality match to you and no friends other than her boyfriend and she is impeccably honest and trustworthy (other than the cheating bit) …. and who is so attracted to your penis she's going to have sex with you….
You are wasting your time on an online scammer but if that is what is comfortable for you, then there's not much we can do to change that. Just don't give her your account details or too much information about yourself. Do try to practice some reasonable identity theft prevention, okay? And watch the amazon account. If this individual figures out your password they can do a lot of damage before you realize it.
Sorry you are in this situation. I do hope you wind up wiser and happier. Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 again, she's not a scammer, GOSH. she doesn't ask me for anything. it's her boyfriend's responsibility to buy her things, which he does. so she doesn't need me to buy her stuff... & there aren't really any girls like her around here like her. she's as good as it gets when it comes to females
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionQuesting for Love i know i made it come across that way.. i would be disappointed but i wouldn't stop talking to her. i've promised i would never cease contact with her & she has too. i do love her. she's such a great girl. now i know it might not seem that way b/c of the cheating, but she really is. she's one of a kind: unusually attractive, GREAT personality, honest & trustworthy. being able to hang out with her & spend time with each other would be good enough. i'd really like to lose my virginity to her. she's amazing.. i know i sound "whipped" lol. i'm not though
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
So if she couldn't resist you, why not use those same moves on someone closer in real life who doesn't have a girlfriend? You've had some practice, now go use it.
What do your friends think about her? The online gaming ones and the real life ones?
Sorry, she's a scammer. She stopped sex with you because you only coughed up $120. She needs more than that.
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female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (30 September 2013):
I just want to point out one thing. You say you love her and she's the perfect match for you, yet it seems that it's not really "her" you're in love with. It seems like you're in love with the IDEA that this might finally be your chance to lose your virginity. You said yourself if you go there and meet her, you're going to be extremely mad if you leave still a virgin. It's like you're not even happy to just meet her. You just want to have sex and be on your way. That's pretty shallow. Like Chigirl said, losing your virginity is not going to change a damn thing about you. If you truly like this girl, you will respect her choice to not have sex with you if that's what she chooses. If she says 'no', will you still like her as much as you did before? If your answer is 'no' then you are in this situation for all the wrong reasons.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 I'm not being scammed. I've only given her $120 altogether. which isn't much considering we met in october of 2012. yes she was cheating on him with me but we haven't done anything since august b/c she simply doesn't want to continue doing that. she's had a guilty conscience ever since she she started being lovey dovey & sexual w/ me in november but she continued all those months b/c she simply couldn't resist me. now she can but I wonder if she'll be able to in person especially since she finds me really attractive (& thinks I have a big penis). she hasn't cheated since august so at least give her some credit :)
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
Oh, and just a few more questions. If she was your girlfriend, would you be happy she's having webcam sex with and accepting gift cards from a guy she met playing on line games?
How much were these lovely amazon gift cards?
I'm sorry, you are being played. By a gamer who knows where you are vulnerable. You are insecure about having sex? She tells you you are better than her boyfriend.
She's really honest, you say. Yet you expect her to cheat on her boyfriend with her. So she does. Does that mean she's still honest, if she hasn't told this purported boyfriend?
Dude. Really, think about it.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
I smell scammer. Sorry! Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 what the heck... she's not like that. I've heard of stories like that. believe me, I'm not gullible nor naive just b/c I've never had sex. she's not a scammer. I can GUARANTEE you that. she's just an amazing girl who just happens to be ideal for me. she's a really honest girl. I'm good at catching people at lies but i never have w/ her. she's very trustworthy. oh & no credit cards involved here. only 2 gift cards for amazon. one for her birthday & one as a nice gesture. & she didn't ask for them. she doesn't ask me for ANYTHING
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2013):
I don't even know where to begin.
She's a "very nice, sweet, caring, shy type of girl" who is happy to have webcam sex with a guy who she's never met in person and is not her boyfriend.
She's "unusually attractive" with the best possible personality that exactly matches yours and she's a gamer. And she only has her boyfriend and you in her life.
You became really close, really fast.
How much money have you sent her?
Dude, you are being set up. "She" knows you are a vulnerable guy. You are insecure about sex. "her telling me that i'm able to get her off more than her bf can, which is crazy considering we haven't had actual sex" Um, you're not getting her off more than her boyfriend. SHE'S the one getting herself off.
And I laugh as I type that because I am 99.95% certain that this unusually attractive beauty who has only you and her boyfriend to tend to her is a big ol' gamer all right. Just not the kind of gamer you think.
Have you checked your credit cards lately? Any of them suspended due to suspicious activity? As in, she stopped having webcam sex when the card wouldn't process?
Sorry, but you are living in a fantasy and are setting yourself up for a huge let down. Please do NOT give this individual any more of your personal details and do not allow this individual to make travel plans for you using your credit card.
Check out this site: http://www.419eater.com
Take the hours you spent online with this individual. If you had spent that in the real world in your neighborhood, you may have been that much closer to your goal of meeting someone who is actually available.
Assuming she's not an internet skank, then she's a woman who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend. None of it's good, dude. It's a disaster.
Sorry.
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (29 September 2013):
 I don't really understand this question as I can't for a second imagine you turning this girl down if she offered you sex?!? So it's down to whether she is keen surely? Or are you asking for ways to convince her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe's a very nice, sweet, caring, shy type of girl who doesn't have anyone to talk to besides me & her boyfriend. we know each other very well. we are very close like I said. she doesn't have a social life so when she is not with him, she's either talking to me or sleeping. we're all she has so she isn't one of those "scam, do this with all other guys" kind of girl. she's really lovely & fragile. she's not some internet skank. just saying
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male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (29 September 2013):
Listen my friend i went to a legal brothel in Vegas where i lost my virginity. I got up the nerve one time and just walked in. I was honest and up front and did not throw any bullshit stories at these women. It was the best experience of my life and i learned a lot. I gained a lot of confidence and learned a lot about women but more so things about me. My friend hold your horses with this woman. Get a ticket and fly to Vegas,i am sure you will not be disappointed. Remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (29 September 2013):
I'm going to try and not be so blunt, but would you do yourself the favour of thinking with your head and not with your .. well, penis?
Look, there's two ways to see this. Either this girl is amazing and a great friend of yours who you respect and care for. In which case, you wouldn't be the temptation that makes her cheat, even though the fault is her own. I mean she could just not cheat, it's that simple. Or she could break up with her boyfriend, if she actually wanted you, and have a proper relationship with you. After all, distance shouldn't be a problem since she confesses to getting off so often with you, compared to her "boyfriend". So, she's not that great, because she's a cheater with no respect for you.
Which leads us to the other perspective. That she's just hot, and you want to use her for her body. And she is a cheater who just wants to use you for your body. In which case her relationship shouldn't bother you, and morals have already been thrown out the window, and neither of you actually care about each other.
Neither of these perspectives are that great. And what's sad is that because you're so fixated on sex, and because this cheating girl has you twisted around her pinky and having you dance after her tune, well, you missed out on all other girls who you could actually have a relationship with. A relationship in which there is no cheating, in which you respect each other, in which you have sex because you care about each other, and not because you just want to use each other.
Stop being so fixated on your virginity, man! Having sex or not having sex doesn't change a bloody thing about who you are. But running around like a puppy after some online chick who's cheating on her "boyfriend" with you is just lowering yourself. Like you have no respect for yourself. And that is far worse than being a virgin.
She's your "dream girl" because she's not for real. She's just using you to stroke her ego. I know her type, believe me. I'm a gamer girl too, I've seen this many times. She's a cheater, and don't fool yourself into thinking you're special, or that she's only thinking of YOU. She most definitely has other guys she cybers with. And that boyfriend of hers is either extremely dumb, or non existent. Tell me, is he perhaps some she met online too, and who isn't actually IRL her boyfriend? She could be making him up as an excuse to NOT date you. Think about it, if she actually cared about you she'd be with you.
I think this girl is a scam who's just lying to you, and if you have sex with her you'll be the guy who, well, lost it to some chick online who just used him. And I think you should respect yourself more than that. You're worth more than being some cheating girls little thing on the side. And you're not some outcast of society just because you are a virgin. I hope you can find the respect for yourself before you go to meet her, because she's just going to take advantage of you. And although you keep telling yourself you want to have sex with her, is it REALLY what you want? Is it really enough for you?
If it was possible, would you rather be in a relationship with this girl? If it was possible, would you rather she never cheated on her boyfriend so that you could have respected her, and that she broke it off with him and started a relationship with you, and that when you went out to see her you could have your first time together having sex with a girlfriend of yours who was your dream girl?
Or would you rather go have casual sex with her? Just be honest with yourself, either you care about her and want a relationship (in which case you need to aim higher, because she's a cheater who doesn't deserve you) or are you just looking to use her to get off (in which case her cheating isn't a problem at all, since you're just looking to use her)?
Be honest with yourself. But I think you deserve more than this. I don't think this girl respects you at all, and why would she. If you don't respect yourself no one else will. You need to stand up and say that this isn't good enough. Don't be a pathetic guy who thinks with his penis and just wants sex... You wont get what you want in life unless you dare say "Sorry, this isn't good enough for me".
There are other women out there who are both available for a relationship and sex. Great women too, if you just stop giving this online girl all your attention. Rise above it. There are better women out there. Losing your virginity shouldn't be done at the expense of your self respect.
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female
reader, like I see it +, writes (29 September 2013):
 I'm not judgmental of the situation you two are in, but there is one thing I really want to hit home to you.If you go visit this girl in Texas and she stands by what she said about not wanting to have sex, you *need* to respect that, no matter what hoops you may have CHOSEN to jump through to see her. Flying across the country to visit her is a very sweet gesture on your part but it does not mean she owes you anything physical - not even a makeout session, if she decides she doesn't want to do that! It concerns me that you are aware of her intent not to have sex and are still here asking if you should lose your virginity with her, as though she herself doesn't have a choice in the matter.I wish you all the best in meeting her but please be mindful of the boundaries she chooses to set. Best wishes.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): Poor girls boyfriend .. I'm sorry I find it difficult to answer your question and the reason I've come on isn't by any means to judge or to be sarcastic in any shape or form .. But I do feel I have to point a few things out .1. I think losing your virginity to a girl who has a bf, just isn't right . I mean would you like it if 'she' were your girl and was doing this behind your back ? 2. I would be wary the amount of STD are on the rise and if you do I would if I were you make sure that you use protection ..3. If she does this with you then really she could be doing this with anyone .4. Be careful you hear so many stories about people getting mugged and stuff by people they just met .. 5. If you really have feelings then meet as friends don't pressure see if there is any chemistry in real life rather than cam FaceTime . Go slow, explain you care and would like to take this forward .. If you think sec seals the deal then like for most, it doesn't !!You are at a disadvantage by living miles n miles away . Her bf is there on her doorstep .. If she can cheat with you over him then she will cheat with you with him .. You are not there constantly and young people get bored easier .. But I know no matter what I say, you still have your own thoughts n feelings so I do hope her bf not around when you do meet or it would soon become very messy indeed.Take care x
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