A
male
age
30-35,
*ew_member
writes:hello member of dearcupidi wanted to ask a question which is so much important for me ...hmm and i think for others too. so here it goes..i've had read on many magazines that only some woman reach orgasm during intercourse without another stimulation ( like only 30% of them)but...i've heard from girls that they enjoy sex more with a dildo than a partner?? so how is possible than dildo can be more pleasureable than a cock or overall a sexual partner. what does dildo more than a partner's cock??? thanks for ansewers
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Are you confusing a dildo with a vibrator? A dildo would be a penis-shaped device, a vibrator would be a device that provide vibrational stimulation. Perhaps these links will help:
http://men.webmd.com/mens-sexual-fears-8/sex-fact-fiction
http://men.webmd.com/mens-sexual-fears-8/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
A bit more info might help in answering your question, thanks!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Male reader, I am only 31 I hope that a vibrator is not the answer that women seek. There is not much technique in thrusting. It is the duration. Women can communicate what they like but it is up to the men to control ejaculation. Orgasms get more intense the longer the duration. It is our busy lifestyles that stop us from exploring, though not an excuse. If the only time you can have sex is before you sleep, then women are not going to get the orgasms they want. Lovers have to be willing to spend a few hours each week exploring in the bedroom. A long session once a week is far better than quickies few times a week. When people date they are so eager to proof to each other that they are not in it for the sex, so they plan dates, outdoor excursions and at night time they crash. Or it could be that men have no confidence to last that long so they say to the women "see I love spending time with you, I am not in it just for the sex." People with children feel bad about sending the kids to the babysitter so they don't get enough time for themselves. I believe delayed ejaculation can be trained, just as I believe that all women can squirt. A lot of times men get lazy or they just blame that the women can't come anyway. A dildo is not a replacement for a penis but for mid aged women who never had a real orgasm, a dildo/vibrator helps them realize that they do have this ability, and their vaginas work just fine. As long as women and men have faith in each other and can devote time, I think sex lives can improve all over the world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): "Is this because men need the right "equipment" (curved, or whatever other magic size/shape), or is it a lack of technique, or a combination?"
Well it's a combination. You have to know how to use what you have.
My shape and size is very advantageous because I can hit the g-spot in the missionary position if I put my girlfriends legs in a certain place and angle myself right. Advantageous in that it's a very slight angle from regular missionary and is not physically taxing for either of us. It makes other positions impossible though but that's fine missionary gives me the best view of my girlfriends face.
"In other words, is this a learned skill that almost any man can do if he puts his mind to it, or are most guys destined for failure of a sort before they even start due their penis size/shape, etc."
Women's vaginas are as varied as our penises, also what works for them is just as varied. But yeah, how to use your penis' size and shape to its best effect is very important. It's actually rare for a guy not be able to use what he's got give at least some pleasure even if only 30% of women can fully orgasm from penetration.
Plus if you can use your tongue well, and fingers well, then your penis is almost irrelevant.
"i've heard from girls that they enjoy sex more with a dildo than a partner??"
Is that really surprizing? From what I've been told by promiscuous exes most guys are actually shit in bed, they're either selfish, not open to instruction because of their ego's or don't give enough head.
"what does dildo more than a partner's cock???"
Full feedback because it's the woman using it, so she knows which way to move it, how hard, fast etc. Some guys just have absolutely no coordination at all and no matter how much instruction they're given they can't get it right and it's not exactly easy to physically move a guy around.
Look the way I did it was this. First off understand that most women never orgasm during sex so great head is must. Make sure you give great head and you give it regularly and with no fuss. That way she'll be satisfied no matter what. Once you've learned that then work on getting your intercourse technique right but just understand that a lot of the time the best you can hope for is a lot of pleasure and maybe a climax isn't going to happen and getting frustrated, downbeat or disheartened doesn't help because they still love that.
This one is to me is important, learn ways to stimulate the clitoris during penetration, don't be afraid to get a small vibrator and use that during intercourse its very worth it.
Most important I find outside of technique is fitness. If you are fit, strong, healthy and have endurance your sexual performance and sex drive will be vastly improved.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): sorry to hijack this thread, but janniepeg, your answer got my curiosity going. "It is very rare that a man could recreate the experience that a dildo can do, but such men exist." Is this because men need the right "equipment" (curved, or whatever other magic size/shape), or is it a lack of technique, or a combination?
In other words, is this a learned skill that almost any man can do if he puts his mind to it, or are most guys destined for failure of a sort before they even start due their penis size/shape, etc.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 May 2012):
There are dildos with a curved tip so they serve both the clitoris and the G spot inside. If a man is on top of the woman it can be hard for her to reach her fingers down to her clit. A dildo would not go limp and it's designed to hit the right spots. I still like a life penis rather than a mechanical one. For the emotional closeness and warmth men win, but for crazy orgasms dildos win. It is very rare that a man could recreate the experience that a dildo can do, but such men exist.
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