A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I think my boss was coming on to me a couple of days ago. I work at a restaurant. I'm still kind of new to the place, only a few months in.I was cleaning near the latte machine and one of the spoons was dirty. I ran it under hot water. My boss came over to me. "Clean the shaft too," He said. He also said something else but I can't recall what it was. While saying that, he blew in my ear. (he was standing behind me) I'm a little confused. Do people generally call the handle of a kitchen utensil a "shaft"? Because I've never heard someone call it that. Or is it rarely used?I think he's incredibly good-looking. As in reincarnated Adonis good. I'm aware that getting involved with him would be wrong. Because 1.He's my boss. 2.He's married. And 3.He's 24 years my senior. (I'm 21)Do you think it was innocent?
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male
reader, downonmyluck +, writes (5 June 2012):
I'm sure he was talking about the shaft of the machine, not his shaft.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 May 2012):
 A shaft on a machine is a common term.
You find him attractive so perhaps you are looking for the sexual play in his words?
It's possible he really meant "clean the shaft of the machine" and didn't mean anything sexual with you....
You've been given great advice however to document any and all comments that you find offensive... if it continues you can go to him with this and ask him to stop. IF he does not stop then you can tell him you will have to take it up the line to his supervisor. with dates and times and comments noted, you will have a case.
Truth be told that if you are NOT sure if what he's saying is sexual or a come on, perhaps you are hoping it is, even if you would not do anything about it...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 May 2012):
 One incident could be a misunderstanding. Two is suspicious and three would be time to talk to HR.
Look for a pattern and if you want to keep the job, maintain a distance. Write down any incidents in case this gets to be a problem and you need to have evidence in order to keep your job.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 May 2012):
 If it feel like he is hitting on you tell him to knock it off. Or ignore it. (though that may not make him quit it).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGod, you people don't listen.
"I'm aware that getting involved with him would be wrong."
I acknowledge that he is an attractive man. Why is that so wrong? I have morals and values. I would never try to seduce my boss. Even if he were available and also around my age, I still wouldn't try anything. Why? Because I have boundaries. But as I've stated, my boss does not.
"While saying that, he blew in my ear."
I need this job. I'm not going to jeopardize it because I find him appealing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 May 2012):
Honestly, I think it was what's called a double entendre.
A double entendre is a figure of speech in which a spoken phrase is devised to be understood in either of two ways, one simple and one a little "dirty".
IT WAS A JOKE, even if it was a little tacky.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 May 2012):
Hahaha god girl, you're already head over heels and seeing things that aren't there. Better get off that pink cloud and focus on the task at hand before you get yourself fired.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Do I think it was innocent? No, the combination of wrong word choice, your newness at the job, his physical closeness, all say watch out. The best way to handle this is to pretend that it was innocent and meant nothing. But to be wary in your mind about any future advances. Also you need to keep yourself cool and dispassionate about his looks. You don't want to be the one making the unwanted advance.
Unfortunately there is plenty of abuse in the food industry in the United states. While most of the people I know are professionals and would never put up with inappropriate behavior in their restaurants, there are just enough bad eggs out there to make me very worried about your question.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): If he called a spoon handle by a suggestive name and blew in your ear while he was doing it, then he was being sexually suggestive and grimy. As you are new there it might pay to talk to the other members of staff and find out what sort of a track record this boss has. Because he sounds as if he is a bit of a married creep who likes hitting on the newbies that pass through his wee domain. So check him out with any other girls at work. Get a heads up on the guy.
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A
male
reader, bouyga  +, writes (28 May 2012):
Innocent indeed. I think you are looking to much into this.
Let it go
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): Yes some people call it the shaft, and alot of people run spoons under water but dont clean the whole spoon. Thats probably why he said it. Anyhow, even if he flirted with you it may just be the way he is and has no intention other than flirt, yes people can flirt but it doesnt mean they are going to take it further. Some people are natural flirts and are unaware of it. I have a friend who just says its their nature and doesnt mean anything than being friendly. She works in a restaurant aswell. It can be part of their personna that comes with working with the public. Anyway hes married, double your age and has kids. STAY CLEAR. Stop fantasizing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): Sorry if I'm wrong, but I think you've been here before. The details sound very familiar. If not, as Cindy Cares has said - he is not only your boss, which isn't a problem per say if he was available, but he is not. He is married, so for your own happiness, focus elsewhere. A younger, single guy who will suit you better ;-) even if Mr Adonis is there every day, it is just an infactuation. In life you will come across many Mr Adonis, you can't act on it though. Appreciate the view, but don't get silly ideas in your head. See him like a movie star - someone you can appreciate from afar for his looks, but know he is a person, who has a life, wife and possibly kids, so don't mess with that. He is also older, so wiser, we hope!
Be patient and you will have your own guy who will appreciate you, and who you can be free to enjoy!
No good thing comes from being in a triangle. You will be lonely, his side lady, with scraps of his time. Don't do it. Don't allow it. Be strong. Have high standards. You deserve better!
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Er, you were near the COFFEE MACHINE! That was the shaft he was referring to, where you steam the milk. Are you blonde?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 And even if it wasn't ?...
1) He is your boss 2 ) he is MARRIED 3) he is 24 years older than you.
Just clean those spoons- and keep it STRICTLY professional.
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