A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is there such a thing as real love? Or do guys just want the best girl they can convince to be with them at the time? Looking at the fwb scenario, or even guys who take a girlfriend out of convenience because she is nice to him, but who has no intension of commitment or going out of his way for her... it seems like men are just out for whatever they can get.I am a woman who, when I choose a partner, I commit myself fully. But I have wasted my energy on men who do not do the same. I want someone to be with me because they believe in the value of a committed, intimate, genuine relationship, not because I am the best girl that is in the picture at present. Is this possible? All I read are stories about guys who sweet talk women into being with them and giving their affections, but who only give back as little as they can get away with. The girls who seem to get a man to treat them like a princess and marry them are the very beautiful ones. Is there any hope of finding a man who is looking for a spiritual/emotional/intellectual connection, as well as sexual? I am confident in my attractiveness, but I know that men have a hierachy of attractiveness, or at least a lot do. It seems men sort of rate women on their value by how they look. It seems to me that men won't settle unless they think its the best they can do. I find this very sad. I want someone who wants to share a life with someone who is on the same page as them, not someone who is just trying to get the best status symbol that they can or the best ego stroking, most useful woman they can. Are there any men out there who want to share a real, intimate relationship? I am very disillusioned and disheartened right now. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PrettyGreenEyes83  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 You think? I am considered 'really pretty' but my man neglects the crap out of me half the time. I get the blame for all the things that goes wrong etc.. so no, nicer looking girls and guys can get sh*t on as well. Anyway everyone is beautiful in their own way. I am beautiful BECAUSE I care for those who I love, even my husband, who can't be bothered to say anything nice. No matter how beautiful looking you are, there's always someone more beautiful than you. Personality wins every time. Only shallow players tend to go for looks...
A
female
reader, chemar22  +, writes (23 May 2012):
You can find the right man although you do have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince! Any guy that just wants to be FWB definitely is the guy I would avoid if you want a real relationship. Find someone that will respect you and see your great qualities. To me, it seems like average looking people are more genuine because they aren't full of themselves like super hot looking men and women are.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 You shouldn't give up. There are definitely kind, genuine men out there. You hear about the jerks because those are the ones people complain loudest about. But for instance, my boyfriend is a hopeless romantic who is unbelievably sweet, honest, and devoted to me. He's not perfect, but neither am I. Truly nice guys interested in a loving relationship with someone they care about do exist, you just have to not settle for the scum and hold out for someone who you can see yourself with.
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I agree with Tisha. Also, you do live in a country where the woman /man ratio is 4:1 and I think in situations like this men do get away with more crap.. So I totally understand your disillusionment...
You know what else I see!? A woman who knows what she wants well enough to word it, and (I hope) stand up for it. And that is super sexy! you are one step closer to getting what you want... I have it and it only came after I refused to settle for anything less, I decided that being alone was far better than being disssappointed. And I stopped chasing love, I just worked on myself and did stuff I love and worked on BECOMING the kind of person I would want to settle down with, instead of looking for him and before I knew it love came knocking my door down and a "fairy tale wedding" later (his ex's words, not mine) I am sitting typing this to you.
So yeah. It wont be a fairytale because love is hard, but men fall harder than we do, so they try as hard as possible to guard themselves before they do...
I think so anyway... Hope that helps...
You should read HJNTIY. It gave me hope..
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A
female
reader, ladybug 1 +, writes (23 May 2012):
That is a very good question.
To me it seem's like, the nice girls all ways finish last. I really feel your pain, because I'm in a relation ship, kinda like you. I'm over weight, and I'm not all that pretty. But my heart is gorgeus, but we get set aside and un notice, for our true blue hearts,
which in fact make's up for us not being a (super models) just in therey specking. To show off on there arm, for the manley hood to see. Why can't our true blue hearts, be worn on there sleve, just as well.
I hope you truly find a good hearted, true blue, proud for all to see, a (fantastc, simple woman) kind of man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 Don't give up hope. There are many men out there who are looking for the same thing you are. Really, they are out there. If you spend too much time reading the British tabloids, you may not ever believe it, but they are there.
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