A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my husband's family (parents, brothers, sisters) are going on a family vacation. For weeks during discussions, we decided on Hawaiian cruise or similar. They had me email cruise info and contact our employment to get off work. Instead, without consulting anyone, booked a trip skiing in the dead of winter. No one owns winter clothes and we have a baby (1 year) who is coming along. not very practical. Plus, the parents don't ski. Actually, no one in his family have skied for 10+ years. Why did they change the spot? Because of price. Now, that would be a problem if they didn't have the money, but my in-laws are very very wealthy... but very very cheap. I don't want to be ungreatful, but I don't want to purchase ski clothing and bring my little baby and have him hang out in a hotel room (prob a cheap room).
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 June 2012):
 "What an intriguing place for a family vacation! I'm sure you all will have a great time getting back on skis and enjoying the snow and cold weather. Alas, as we have no appropriate clothing and an infant who can't be exposed to such cold temperatures and is too young to learn to ski, we will unfortunately not be able to join the fun this year. We look forward to the family gathering next time. Have fun!"
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Don't go. And do not be afraid to explain your very reasonable and legitimate objections, this is not a tantrum. Simply, it has to be a vacation for you too, not house arrests, as it will be if you won't be able to ski and will have to be cooped up all day in the lodge minding your child . Plus, you'd have to cough money yourself to buy adequate clothing- for something you don't enjoy and never asked for.
Most importantly, and first of all, this is NOT the kind of trip you had agreed to join - you had been invited, in theory, to an Hawaiian cruise or similar, and you had agreed to that, not necessarily to ANY trip anywhere ,regardless of your personal needs and tastes.
It's not a matter of being " ungrateful ", it's your husband 's family that has been pushy and overbearing.
If somebody decides to give me, say, .. a horse- it does not matter if it is an expensive prize-winning purebreed;they must make sure first that I need or want a horse , that I can afford to feed it, and that I am not allergic, or afraid of horses. Otherwise it's not a gift, but a rude imposition.
That seems so evident to me, that I have a hard time thinking how a devoted husband could not see your point and would drag you to the Vacation-for-Hell just to " make nice " to his family- because his wife and baby are his family TOO, or even more, and their comfort too must count . At least , if he is a man. If he is a mama's boy ... sigh... what can I say... good luck :).
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 So, you can go, or not go.
Not going is a reasonable thing, but it means that you be upfront with your husband. Perhaps you don't care to be so up front.
So, you go, but you don't have appropriate clothing, so you stay in the lodge taking care of your child. Which is a waste of your time.
How about you tell your husband that it's time he man up and take care of you rather than continuing to suck up to his family.
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