A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to someone for four years from India. He is younger than me and we talked everyday all day and night. Recently I told him about a guy I was dating here. Now he has totally lost his mind. He tried to kill himself and his friend is sending me messages about the situation. I have to admit we never met in person but have talked on webcam. I really care about him a lot....he is a sweet person and I miss our conversations. He will not listen to reason when I try to explain what is going on...I am told I am a liar but yet they keep asking me the same questions over and over again. What do I do??? I really do care about him but he is there and I am here. When will we meet? Now I am told he planned on coming here to see me in the fall....I am so confused...Now he don't trust me and lost all respect for me.....Please I want to fix our relationship but I don't know how.....He will not listen to reason...Any suggestions?Someone please help........
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 May 2012):
 If he's tried to kill himself, he needs to be in treatment and shouldn't be contacting you at this point. His mental health is too fragile.
I agree with SVC that the 'friend' is your online friend playing a role.
What you are experiencing is emotional manipulation designed to keep you on the hook. Recognize it for what it is now and you will be better off.
I'd advise you to cut contact and mourn the loss of the friendship but secure in the knowledge that he won't actually kill himself. Then you can focus on the boyfriend and your real life friends.
What did your new boyfriend say about this situation?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 May 2012):
 HIS FRIEND is contacting you? How do you KNOW it’s his friend? I’m betting it’s him. He’s playing a silly game with you… FOUR YEARS is way too long for adults to be chatting online and not moving forward in a relationship
ONLINE friends are one thing… Long Distance Relationships are totally another… If you meet someone online and want to have a romantic relationship with them then 4 years is too long to wait to start.
He’s NOT a sweet person. He’s manipulating you or trying to. You say he’s younger than you… how much younger?
Why does he say you are a liar? Sounds like he assumed you two were a couple… how unfair of him to make these assumptions…
YOU ARE TOLD he planned to come see you in the fall… HE PLANNED.. but you were never asked if you wanted a visit… game playing.
WHAT part of this relationship do you want to fix?
You have done nothing untrustworthy nor given him reason to disrespect you. Personally I don’t see anything worth salvaging…
I would block his name and his email and not have any contact with him if he can’t behave like an adult.
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