A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear readers, I find myself here again and I have only been married a month. I wass here to weeks ago. Because my husband joined a sex site and still denies it. But know I am here because my husband has been out of town for the week and I looked at our phone bill and found out he hasbeen texting a girl all night. I confronted him. At first he tryed to say it was a test. A test to see if I check up on him. Well now he kindaadmitted that he looked up a escort site and was texting some girl all night. I believe nothing happened. But he wonders why I dodon't trust him. He's only making it harder for me to trust him. I guess my question is do I forgive him one more time???? Is it possible for this man to change? We have been together over seven years and we have a daughter together. I love him and hate to give up everything I have worked so hard for. Please I need some help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 June 2013):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-supposed-to-marry-in-2.html was another question from you, wasn't it?
Hasn't he had about thirteen second chances?
Will he ever change? Um, it doesn't sound like he's interested in changing, even if he were capable of it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 June 2013):
Is this your question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-supposed-to-marry-in-2.html ?
Get yourself and your husband into that counseling center ASAP and bring along all the evidence of his online and texting activities. I think you have basically married a serial cheater.
You've had plenty of forewarning about his tendencies and behavior and went ahead with the wedding. I think he's a disgrace and a liar and a cheat and I would dump his sorry arse, but that's just me.
One more really important thing for you: don't have sex with this man without using a condom. I would be very worried that he'd bring home an STD from his extracurricular activities.
I'm sorry he's such a jerk but you have basically indicated to him that you tolerate his actions by marrying him…
Sorry it's an ongoing problem for you and it will remain so unless you take some real action.
Good luck with everything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. This is so hard for me. I love him so much.but I can't continue to get hurt. I feel like my entire world has been turned upside down. Thank you all
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2013):
So he is making this out to be YOUR fault that he texted her? because YOU didn't trust him?
What a load of CRAP!
He could have texted ANYONE to "test" you, but he CHOSE to text an escort.. seriously?
So now you know, when he shows you that he can't be trusted and when you don't accept his BS he tries to manipulate you into thinking it's your OWN fault he did what he did.... IS that what you want your life to be like? Because that is HOW it will be with this guy. He doesn't WANT to own up, and he doesn't believe he is doing anything wrong.
Sorry :(
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 June 2013):
Of course you can't trust him and he gave you plenty of reason not to. While it may seem easier to stay with him right now, it certainly won't be when you consider that you'll suffer for the rest of your life.
Do the responsible thing and break up with him already. Find someone who doesn't make you unhappy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your wonderful advice. That's pretty much how I feel. He is a good liar, but my eyes are wide open and I'm not falling for his BS anymore. Thank you!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 June 2013):
Your man sure has a way with words.....
Meanwhile, the only words that YOU will need are: "You know, (his name here), I wasn't born just this last month... and I am NOT going to put up with your B/S for even ONE MORE DAY... All we need to do "together" now, is determine if we will be getting a DIVORCE, or if we can get an ANNULMENT of our marriage, considering how brief it WAS..."
Does this help?
Good luck....
P.S. Those phone line "chats" can cost a FORTUNE.... did you notice that?????
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2013):
when you say you believe nothing happened what you mean is you do not believe your husband put his penis in her body.
something HAPPENED all right...
"A TEST to see if you would check up on him?"
I cry foul.. what a GREAT save and comeback by a lying cheating guy.
If he wonders why you don't trust him, then he has no clue what trust is about.
there is an old saying
fool me once shame on you
fool me twice shame on me
YOU are married A MONTH
in that month he has joined a sex site
and he's gone away for a week and in that time he had contact with an escort.
he lies to you about it
tell me again what you love about him.... list all the good things....
you don't trust him
he lies to you
it's your call but you will never trust a man who lies and cheats and then tries to blame you for his bad behavior.
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