A
female
age
36-40,
*higirl
writes:I recently got a new room-mate. He's great so far, cleans up after himself, cleans the floor, easy to talk to. Then his girlfriend.. or as he said it "this friend who he used to date" comes over to stay a few days. And they're going at it like bunnies. And the doors aren't that well isolated, so I hear practically everything. They had loads of fun when I cam home from work yesterday. And again in the evening. And again just recently.Do I plug in the earplugs or hint that they should wait until they're alone at home? Or ask them to reach their orgasms more quietly? Should I leave a note of when I'll be out of the house? I'm on the verge of a snide remark here...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): Some people want to be heard and even see.If this is an occasional thing perhaps you could oblige.
One weekend long ago me and my wife, her sister and her husband had sex in separate rooms at a beach cottage.
We could hear each other and the girls arrived at the bartroom together to clean up.
It was very erotic.
But then it was a once off.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 June 2013):
 That sounds like you made some progress. Now keep on with the smiles and he'll soon realize that you are okay with their fun, you just don't need to hear every single moment. Or any moment, for that matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2013): Ask your roommate to keep it down when he has company over. He has a right to enjoy himself; but you also have a right to privacy, peace, and quiet.The thing with having a roommate is, you have to be a little flexible. You also have to compromise. The earplugs are a good idea; or you can sleep with your iPod plugged into your ears on busy nights. I'm sure they don't go on forever. If they do, no wonder it bothers you!!! Women just don't appreciate live porn, I know.You need to draw up and sign a little "peace" contract, and charge a small penalty each time there is a violation. You should be fair and reasonable. You're not perfect; so let him list a few things he expects so there is balance. You'll get a little extra party money and/or they'll be less inclined to ignore your right to some peace and quiet. Don't be too rigid and don't be jealous. You have to take the good with the bad. He's a good roommate. I can think of worse things a roommate can do.The noise sounds louder and is more irritating when you're alone.I recommend that you find yourself a hottie; and raise a little hell of your own. *wink*
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 June 2013):
chigirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question I took him aside and asked how long she was going to stay, and then said "This is a little embarrassing, but could you perhaps be more quiet? Or wait until I'm not home?"
He got the message and practically ran back to his room. I hope it wasn't too embarrassing. I went out for a walk, and then sent him a text on my way back saying I'm on my way back home (as a little alert in case they were at it again), and asked if they wanted me to pick something up from the store. Added a smiley. Hope that shows I'm not mad.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (5 June 2013):
 If he is easy to talk to and considerate in general, and if this is the first thing he's done then you should be able to say something without it ruining the harmony. It's in his own interest to keep it down, as most people would prefer for other people not to hear them while they are having sex. Having said that, I used to share a house with five people and one girl would bring back "friends" to the house and have screaming orgasms and then ask us if we had heard her, so I guess some people do like to share more than just common spaces around the house. Just tell him in a straightforward, non-snide, non-judgmental way that the walls are thin and sound carries. You can tell him you're embarrassed to bring it up, that might break the ice a little bit and make him feel less embarrassed. If he's a nice guy he'll apologise and not do it again when you're around. You shouldn't have to use earplugs or feel uncomfortable in your own home.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 June 2013):
I like EWO's solution.:)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 June 2013):
 Tell him you are going to start selling tickets....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 June 2013):
Ouch. Tough one. He's a new roommate and you want to get off on the right foot. (Bad bad BAD pun, sorry.)
I think I would tell him, "hey, Jerry, I'm happy you are here and that your friend came to visit you. I have to mention something a bit uncomfortable here, the doors aren't well insulated and sound travels very clearly." Pause for a moment to see if his facial expression registers that he gets it. If he does react appropriately, say something like, "I hope this isn't too awkward for you, I'm sorry to have to bring it up, but I figured you hadn't realized it. Thanks for listening, now do you want pizza for dinner? I made some and have plenty for you as well." Basically, you are offering him information, and then including him in your meal, so you show that you aren't annoyed beyond all redemption.
If he doesn't get it, then you could go on to say, "I do have earplugs I could wear but maybe it would help you out to know when I'm home and when I'm not?" Smile as you say this so he knows again that you aren't totally fed up.
If he's a halfway decent guy, he'll get it, and tone it down. If he's a bit of showoff then maybe you can decide to play some music when they are getting loud. Maybe some songs that would ruin the mood? Like a Gregorian chant or organ music. (DOH! Another pun, sorry.) Church hymns and Alleluia type of stuff, you know, like that. :) It may make the point.
Good luck with the travails of having a roommate!
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