A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I have a question. Would it be a bad idea for me to continue dating this guy who lives with another female? I've been dating a guy who's roommate is his best friend and it's a female. He jokes around saying he loves her and that she's awesome. He takes her to work every morning, and then he goes to work and then they're together at their apartment every night, he cooks their dinner, etc.We've been dating for only about 2 months now and we're moving slowly and nothing too serious is going on, but I'm wondering if I should just end things now before our relationship goes any further because I really don't want to get played or hurt if that makes sense. I don't want to be paranoid and jump to conclusions but is there a good possibility that something is going on between them? What would you do if you were in my position?
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (6 June 2013):
 I personally would meet her. Hang out with the two of them together and see how their relationship is. If it's too flirtatious or I sense that something else could be going on, then yes, I would end it.
It's also a good possibility that they are just friends and he roomates with her because of how bad the economy is adn they are best friends. If they grew up together, they might view each other as brother/sister. If he takes her to work, does she not have a car of her own? Perhaps they just carpool together.
Most guys rely on their girl friends to check out their girlfriends and get their opinion. I would feel things out first and go from there. Consider going out with just her, just to get to know her better.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (6 June 2013):
 No need to walk away as long as she know u are his GF? On casual coversations ask him she has a BF and has he ever been interested in her.
'
It appears if he wanted to date her/sleep with her they are already living together so why wud he want you as his GF, my guess its just platonic but dont let your guard down.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2013): Hey everyone OP hereThank you all for your answers and help. I just want to add that I wasn't bothered by this at first, but now that it's been two months I see a little how they've acted around each other. They are home alone together from 3 pm til they go to bed at night. Whenever me and him are texting, on the phone, chatting online she is always there around him. It just makes me feel like she's apart of the relationship as well and knows all of our business. I wouldn't say shes really possessive over him, maybe she is a little, I would definitely say she's a bit nosy. I think he just cares about her a lot more then a friend. She is single and attractive and they are really close. I honestly don't know why they aren't a couple. I don't know for sure if they have ever had a romantic or sexual past or not but I have a feeling they do. I just feel like she's always going to be before me and more important to him than I will ever be.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 June 2013):
 Truly? The only time you don't have a single thing to worry about when you hear that a guy you're dating is living with the girl...is if she's his sister!
Even if the relationship has ever and always have been platonic, the "awkward" factor is gonna be some serious baggage. If she's his "best friend" and he's talking about how awesome she is, and you've only been dating for 2 months and NOTHING has gone on in that time, then he could be with you to make her want him.
Personally, another woman living with a guy I was dating would be too much baggage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2013): If this female roommate knows he's dating, and there is anything going on between them; I'm inclined to believe she'll be jealous of you first. I'd suspect that she'd be the one finding ways to get rid of you, wouldn't you think?They have a friendship; but observing their behavior you can reasonably assess whether things are more intimate than they're letting on. What makes you think he's trying to have his cake and to eat it too? Is she always around when you're there?I'd say you're making the right decision to move along slowly; so you'll get to know the both of them and what's going down. As a rule, you should approach ALL potential relationships with caution, and offer your heart and trust slowly over time.Just remember, a girl doesn't have to live with a guy; if he wants to cheat on you. They have to get along if they're roommates; and if he likes to cook, it's likely he'll do most of it. She probably compensates with doing most of the cleaning. Just study their habits and you'll figure things out.Whatever you do, don't act like a jealous girlfriend. You're not the only one feeling things out here. He's checking you out too. So is she! And she'll let him know if you're a keeper. Be on your best behavior. She was there first. I know how females can be pretty territorial about their guys. If she's nice to you, be nice to her.Guys do and can have female friends they don't boink. Contrary to popular female opinions on the subject.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 June 2013):
 I would try to get some time alone with her and get to know her a bit better. Tell her about the way he mentions her. Keep it light and smile and laugh but pay attention to her responses.
See if you can do that and get back to us with how she responds. Does she act possessive? Jealous? Does he cancel plans with you if she asks him to?
It seems to me that it would be very odd that he bring you home as his date if they are involved in any way. So maybe he's just very close to her.
If he seems like a good guy (he cooks, that's cool) and you want to continue to get to know him better, don't let this put you off just yet, okay? It may be a way for him to filter out possessive jealous women. Hard to know.
So my plan would be to spend time with her alone. Send him to the store for something and you and she can have a nice chat.
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