A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do you guys even care at all who to have sex with even if it's for one night? I went out with a friend yesterday who is quite a bit older than me. She is 53. And she looks it. She has plenty of wrinkles, short, a little overweight. She loves to dance. So she danced the whole night. I really like her, she is very nice, but a fact is fact , a woman is in her 50s, and she doesn't look good for her age, just a normal 53 years old. She was telling me stories before how young guys come up to her and want to take her home. I was listening but not really believing her. It was even funny that she talks about it looking how she is and being her age. I don't think sheis old to have sex, no way, but when she told me that guys in their 20s and 30s come up to her, it was hard to believe. Yesterday I actually witnessed it. A guy who was hardly 30, was dancing with her, and then he took her outside, and then she came back with him, and he left. I asked her where did he go, and she told me he said he wanted to go home with her, and she said no. That's why he left. I just was bewildered. The guy was really good looking, tall, with great body. There were plenty of pretty, buzzed girls in this place. Why to go for middle age woman who is far from being in good shape, with wrinkles and overweight. Yes, she dances, but also everyone were dancing. When they were walking together, I looked at them and really, they looks like mother and son. So my question is : do you guys even care how a woman looks even if it's for only quick sex. Or when the urge comes anything goes? Yesterday it's obviously was not an isolated incident. Now I do believe all her stories about guys half her age wanting to hook up with her. I am happy for her that she still gets attention, and if they were guys her age or close it would be understandable, but young good looking guys, I just can't comprehend it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2013): Everyone has their own taste when it comes to attraction. Not everyone is shallow enough to think beauty always = slim youthful twenty-something year old.
You sound somewhat resentful the way you put down your 'friend'. If not resentful then disrespectful.
Instead of truly being happy for her you want to confirm that there's something wrong with the guys that go for her. You want reassurance that they are only blinded by the carnal urge because really, they shouldn't be attracted to your friend since she's 53, wrinkled and overweight.You say you are happy for her - but it doesn't sound like it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 June 2013):
 Maybe "normal 53" is more appealing to some men than a surgically enhanced, botoxed, phony pouty lipped, tanning bed devotee who has a heavy hand with make up?
I'm going to rewrite your description of your friend and maybe it'll help you see her through a different filter. The filter you are using appears to see only basic physical attributes.
"She is 53. And she looks it. She has plenty of wrinkles, short, a little overweight. She loves to dance. So she danced the whole night.
I really like her, she is very nice, but a fact is fact , a woman is in her 50s, and she doesn't look good for her age, just a normal 53 years old."
translates through a different filter, perhaps the one that some men might be using, to:
"She is a mature woman who isn't succumbing to the media and advertising-driven youth culture. She wears her skin, owns her looks. She is the right size to cuddle up and fits nicely right into an arm. She has luscious curves, and isn't one of those stick thin social X-rays. She moves her body and delights in doing that, it's mesmerizing. She is obviously in good shape as she can dance all night.
"She glows from some inner light, and her maturity just adds to her appeal. She knows what she wants, she's comfortable in her skin and she has a fun personality that just makes people want to spend time with her."
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Maybe you just don't possess the capability to see her through a different filter, and that's why you are dumbfounded by men's interest in your friend. She's probably aware that you can't figure it out and maybe is showing off a little bit to demonstrate that she isn't as unappealing to men as you seem to think she is.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 June 2013):
 I am not judging *you*, OP. I am reading your post (I read it through twice) and responding to what you said. Apparently, my answer raised your blood pressure some.
You started out by ripping your friend and being critical about her looks. You basically said that the younger man should have chosen a "pretty, buzzed" woman instead of your friend. Why? The way you put down your friend's looks says a lot about you, to be honest.
You also said that you "can't comprehend" how she does it. You should open your mind and observe her and maybe you'd comprehend her good qualities instead of pick apart her looks and decide that she's an inferior choice for a younger man than the pretty buzzed women who should have been what he should have gone for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2013): I am just judging by how I pick men out of the crowd. For me looks are important because if I want to have casual sex with someone just this once why would I pick someone who is more than 20 years older than me, overweight and has hanging belly.I would want someone around my own age, that is in farely good shape, and fun. But only fun...I don't know. We all have certain standards regarding our sexual partners appearance. Men tend to have lower standards when it comes to casual sex, and its a well known fact. I understand though what you mean, a combination of your friend and a gorgeous young guy would be unusual for me also
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2013): Looks aren't the only one reason we want a have sex with a person OP. Confidence, charisma, charm, personality, and who's to say despite what you list she's not actually hot? OP you women seem to think young, skinny, perfect skin, big tits and long legs are some kind of ideal beauty, well we don't. We find the whole range of sizes, ages and shapes of women attractive.
Your friend may have any one of the millions of traits we find hot, she sounds very free spirited and carefree for her age (not that her age is old anyway). You know top of my list for a one night stand is fun. And she sounds fun. As long as she's not what I'd consider ugly then I can perform and have a great time with her. Sex for sex's sake with a woman who knows the deal, there are no drawbacks to that.
OP be careful not to fall into that idiotic trap that paints men as some kind of walking penis that will stick it into anything, just because you can't understand how your middle aged friend can be appealing to us. She sounds like a lot of fun to me, plus she's mature enough to understand the process, what she wants, what we want, how to get that and is almost guaranteed to be a drama free night of fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2013): O, my god, who is judging, youwish? How do you even read this between the lines. To Judge for what? That young guys hit on her, that's just make no sense whatsoever. And when did I say I don't think she should not have sex, I said exactly opposite. I wish other responders were men and actually read what I wrote.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 June 2013):
Women are so much more harsh on other women. You would have condemned your 53 year old friend to a life without sex because of how she looks. I have seen 50 year-old women and even older look more beautiful (without plastic surgery!) than their 20-year old counterparts. It's not just looks, it's a quiet grace, confidence, and allure as well.
Older women are vintage classics, with knowledge and restraint from a time before trashy Housewife and Bridezilla reality shows with their screaming, entitlement mentalities. They know their bodies. They know men's bodies. They're not insecure about who they are. It's no wonder that one of the highest rated episodes of Saturday Night Live was hosted by Betty White, an 88 year old woman, and that the oldest woman to ever win an Oscar was 89 year old Jessica Tandy, who in my opinion was one of the most beautiful women to ever grace the screen.
Just my two cents, but instead of judging your friend, maybe you could learn a thing or two from her.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 June 2013):
If its a one night stand, its really only about sex that night. There is no emotional or monetary investment at all, so all the girl really needs to do is meet a bottom threshold for attractiveness. For many gents, that bar is not that high.
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