A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a controlling mother who tells me I cant move out of the house until Im married. she also tells me anywhere i go and whatever i do must be run by her. im 22 years old. how do i stand up to her?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tantivy  +, writes (5 June 2013):
As the other posters have said. Find a job that pays enough for you to support yourself, move out and do as you please. Don't stand for being treated in such a controlling manner. You're an adult and your life is your own.
I also wouldn't tell your mum (or anyone who might tell her) of your plans, even just finding a job. From your description of her, she doesn't sound like someone who'd warm to that. You should only tell her once everything else is sorted and there is no chance of her interfering. Unfortunately some parents are just like this.
Wishing you all the best of luck.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 June 2013):
 Is there some sort of cultural norm to which she is conforming? If so, you may never be able to convince her otherwise, in which case you will have to take your own actions.
You have an education, go out and find employment. Don't tell her where you are going. Get a post office box so you can send and receive private mail. Also get a private email address, one that is not disclosed to her.
Do you have friends? Have them cover for you while you go out and interview for jobs. Talk to your friends about getting a place together or move in with one who may need a roommate.
If needed, you could consider yourself a child of abuse and contact a local women's shelter for referrals and assistance.
What have you tried up till now?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 June 2013):
 do you have a place to move to?
I'd get a job, find a friend, get a place to live and move out. What's your mom going to do ground you?
if you live in her home even as an adult you must abide by her rules but she cannot force you to live in her home once you are past 18.
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