A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:i have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we met at the club, and i was drinking a little and just being fun. ( no sexual stuff involved.) After that I've noticed that everytime we go out, and alcohol is present he pushes me to drink. For example, yesterday we were at the beach with his friend and wife and they had beer. So he handed me one, and then after tat he handed me another one without me asking, and then he gave me another one n i said no, and he was like "please take it, do it for me." Is there something weird about it, or am I analyzing things too much? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 April 2014):
 It could be that he wants you to be more negotiable to having sex afterward, but it's most likely that he doesn't want to 'drink alone' or be drunk alone.
Just stand your ground. If he keeps pushing after that stop seeing him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): I dated someone like this. I'd be having a nice easy pint of beer as he necked 2 or 3 and then criticised me for "drinking too slowly".Too slowly for what exactly I wasn't sure but I was sure of one thing, I won't be told whether I'm eating or drinking too slowly, or anything else for that matter and I now realise the issue he had with my drinking, or rather my relative lack of it, was because I wasn't keeping up to get just as blottoed as he was.I ditched him. He was cute and very sexy but that soon wore off as he got drunker and drunker. I can't stand people pressuring others to drink more, I hate stupid slurry drunken crap as well and had I stuck by him I'd be saddled with cleaning up after an alcoholic by now. Warning signs.. watch out for excessive drinking. No sane man or woman wants to be stuck with an addict. Stick to your guns and if he starts pressurising you again, you could always pour a drink over his head. That should shut him up :D
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 April 2014):
 He might have a problem with alcohol, in which case he can't stop himself, and the only way to legitimize his excessive drinking is if he has someone joining him.
It's a red flag if he can't take no for an answer and pushes you to drink.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 April 2014):
 "do it for me" oh hell NO.
I live with an alcoholic and he went to the store and bought a case of something he knows I'll drink so we could drink together... I'm trying to avoid booze due to health issues.
drunks hate to drink alone.
I'd be concerned that he's pushing it on you "for him"
how about you say "respect me for me please" and see what he says...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): "Please, do it for me so you'll be more likely to sleep with me." Is what I first thought seeing as you haven't done anything sexual yet.
Better off not assuming anything though, OP, I used to be like that too. It's not that I wanted to take advantage of people it's more that I didn't want to be wasted alone and be the only really drunk one there. For some strange reason being very drunk around a girl you're dating when she's not doesn't work so well. Apparently being barely able to move, drooling, with beer stains on your top is not as sexy to women when they're not as drunk. Who knows why that is? Because personally when I'm that drunk, I definitely have it in my head that I'm smooth as hell, angelic in my beauty, charming in my speech and smell great too. I don't know how my wife can resist me when I'm like that while she's sober.
Just ask him, it's nothing strange for people to ply others with drink. In Ireland that's pretty much our culture peer pressure others into keeping up in terms of drinks. I'm pretty sure in America you goad each other into taking shots, beer bongs, chugging straight from the keg upside down. It could be that's just the type of drinker he is. I definitely used to be the "share the buzz" kind of guy. I would egg on my dates to drink more because if they didn't, then I couldn't for the reasons I stated above.
Ask him why he does that though, and tell him he should stop as it's starting to get a bit annoying.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 April 2014):
 This guy obviously "knows" that one of the effects of alcohol is to lower a person's inhibitions...... AND, (so), apparently you've exhibited morals and standards that need a little lowering (for him to get you to put out!).... so he's generously offering you the elixir that will "help" you to get in to a compromising situation with him..... (It usually worked for me.... ONE TIME!!!!)....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 April 2014):
 It sounds rude to me, when you've clearly said, "no, thank you," to pressure you to drink like this is a red flag. I would make it very clear, "NO, thank you, I do not want that." If he keeps pressuring you then I would no longer go out with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): "please take it, do it for me."
That's kind of weird. He should take no for no. Why should he get all upset or offended if you don't take another drink? He should respect that you don't want another one. Like Honeypie said, ask him what his deal is. This guy could possibly be trying to get you to lower your guard down by getting drunk or tipsy before putting the moves on you.
If you suspect something, always be cautious. You're being smart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 April 2014):
 If you said, no thanks to a second beer or even the first beer, HE should respect that.
Why not ask him?
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