A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm with my bf for 3 years, we r currently in LDR as he has some job assignments outside country.We used to talk atleast once a day even if its for 10 mtsLong story short, for past few months he is not calling me when I do, most of the time he cuts his call short and tells me he'll call me back but never does. If he do call me, its cause he didn't c my calls for few days.If I avoid calling him for few days he'll call me and everything will be five for few days then he again starts avoiding me. I don't call more than once a day, I never text.I don't want to play this no contact game with him anymore, I'm too old for it. When I confront him about he avoiding me, he says he is busy unlike me which is downright insulting as I'm very busy with my 2 jobs. Btw he is an Aries if it helpsWhat should I do now, please help me.[Mod note: flag should show India]
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 April 2014):
 I agree that it's time to stop playing this "come chase me game" with him.
not sure how long he will be gone but when my husband and I were dating and were LDR he could go days without contact (before we were very serious)... once we got serious I told him I needed some sort of daily contact.. he was not much of a texter but we finally settled on an 8 am good morning phone call from me to wake him and then I would call him when I got into bed for my "Tuck in phone call" sometimes these calls would be 30 seconds or so, other times the bed time tuck in call would last hours...
everyone is correct a man who cares about you makes the time to contact you...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 April 2014):
 How long has he been gone for? How long til he gets back. Or does he work require more or less constant travel?
I would tell him that you NEED to have that daily contact. Calling your partner and either say good morning or good night EVERY day is NOT too much to ask.
I have to say though, that while my husband was overseas (deployed to Afghanistan and later Iraq) I bare talked to him for the 13, 9 and 11 months he was gone. We CORRESPONDED through e-mails more then anything, and ME more then him, for sure. I made sure to e-mail daily. YES!, EVERY DARN DAY. So he knew what was up with the kids, family and myself. We would try and Skype (ended up with the IM part because the connections speed was so sucky that you could either HEAR the other, but not SEE or the other was around with heavy delay, so typing worked.)
If he cell phone plan covers the calls (international) and it's not a HUGE expense to call you, he should. Now I' not saying HE should call EVERY day, you two need to figure out how to split it evenly.
And YOU need to accept that there MIGHT be days where he isn't in the mood for long chats or where YOU are not in the mood for them either.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (25 April 2014):
 I think its just bullshit that someone is too busy to find 5 minutes out of their lives to make ONE phone call to someone they love. This is not something that can and should be forced, its something that comes naturally. If its not, you know where you stand in his list of priorities and in his heart.
You're right, this relationship of yours has turned into a game of sorts. This isn't Carrie and Mr. Big, this is real life. Time to tell him clearly that you cant live like this anymore, waiting for him to call and wondering why he hasn't called. Call it quits. Game over.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2014):
 I think at age 30-35, a boyfriend of 3 years, and an LDR that has gone to little contact, the time has come to say goodbye to unavailable boyfriend. Why didn't you go with him? Is he in a country that is hostile toward women?
What do you want, are you okay with being apart from a boyfriend because the separation will lead to a reunion and a fulltime, live in relationship? Or is the fact he took a job out of the country a sign that you two aren't really a longterm couple?
If his response to your question to him about avoiding you is to insult you then sorry, he's just not interested in talking about it or addressing it.
If he is serving in the military and is under stress from that, well, that might be a different story.
You say you are too old for these games, so stop playing. Just end it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2014): When someone is too busy for me I find someone who has more time to share with me.
Hopefully, someone I can visit, go out on dates, and share romantic moments with. I enjoy receiving affection, and being affectionate; so messaging is just too frustrating.
I don't like LDR's; because of the deprivation and limited contact. Maybe he IS too busy. Perhaps he has also lost interest in having an LDR. Messaging is no substitute for holding hands, hugs, and kisses. And best of all, making love.
Find yourself someone who can fulfill your needs, and you don't have to depend on messages to hear from him.
Dump that guy! Find yourself a real-live in-person relationship.
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