A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a relationship with this girl, its been almost 6 years together, she's lied to me about serious stuff like old " f and @k buddies" she so claims them to be.. Which are dudes.. Our relationship there's no sex I'm lucky if I get any twice a year, it puts a lot of stress on me cuz I don't understand why.. She claims its I'm not in the mood or I got a uti or some excuse.. I love her so I put up with it, these guys she use to sleep with treated her like she was just a piece of a@#. I don't know if its wrong for me to be mad that she hangs onto them n why? And when I tell her is them or me, she says well that's up to me, so she saying without saying it, No! U except it or u go! And that hurts cuz I invested my wholeself into this relationship... Idk if I should just let it go?
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (25 January 2015):
Yikes! Have respect for yourself. Move on. Find a love that is going to appreciate what you have to offer them.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2015):
 You're 30-35 in a relationship "with this girl" for 6 years. She's lied to you, there's no intimacy.If you were a man I would say the same thing.You are in the relationship you allow. Sometimes people in abusive relationships can't see their way out because they are so invested in their toxic self-hating and self-sabotaging view.Take a break from her and get assessed by your doctor as a matter of urgency.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2015): Are you paying her bills, spending a lot of money on her?
Are you sure yours isn't a "relationship of convenience?"
If she won't let go of her f-buddies, you're the one who should be offering ultimatums.
The smarter remedy is self-elimination. Dump her and go!
This should be a deal-breaker. She's a liar and has no respect for you.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (23 January 2015):
 You're giving her an ultimatum and she's giving you one back. It's a stand still war of words and it's obeying Newton's Law of Motion. Once one of you removes your force, the other will plummet forward at full pent up force. I can't see this ending well.
She clearly is not ready for an adult relationship in which you make mature, respectful decisions and reasonable, healthy sacrifices. I am sorry for you that you are willing to endure, and she is not.
~Sy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 January 2015):
 So you put forth an ultimatum and you lost. You lost because you didn't REALLY mean the " it's me or them". You were EXPECTING her to say:" OK, I'll drop the dudes." She didn't.
You have no bargaining power with her any more.
Either you SUCK it up or your REALLY walk away. Having "invested" time in a relationship doesn't mean you can't decide that it's NO longer "profitable" for you.
If you decide to stay and "suck it up" you will continue to FEEL MISERABLY about this, you will continue to share no INTIMACY and SEX with her, you will CONTINUE to wonder WHY your GF wants these DUDES in her life and what she is actually doing with you.
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