A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I really like this guy from work. His really out my league. His the c.e.o, single and very friendly. When i first met him he was very warm and friendly. But i get so shy around him. So i try to avoid him. But i need to work with him sometimes. So no choice. I try my very best to br professional at all times. But i noticed he cant look at me the way he does with other people at work and he always approve or like my proposal. I have a feeling that maybe he likes me but i am not sure? What do u think guys? He can be clumsy infront of me sometimes too. But if course, i really dont expect moreI will not put my job at stake just because of uncertain feelings that doesnt last long. But it will make me happy to know he likes me too.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 April 2014):
Maybe he's hoping that keeping you guessing will mean that he doesn't need to pay you a fair wage. Maybe he's just so busy and involved in the business that you are mistaking his odd demeanour as a sign that he likes you?
Whatever, I would assume that he is not interested and if this crush you are feeling is interfering with your being able to accomplish your work then you do need to find a new job.
The good news about finding a new job is that you can leave your contact details with him and if he likes you he can ask you out and there's no downside!
In the meantime, I would assume that he's not interested and do my very best to get a good work experience so the resume isn't shot to sh*t if the assumed crush turns out to be a big old fantasy!
Be smart, be wise, be career savvy!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 April 2014):
Just be polite and professional, whether he "likes" you or not is less important. He wouldn't be the first man wanting to impress a young pretty co-worker.
I say this every time there is a question on work/relationships here on DC - DO NO crap where you eat and do NOT DATE where you work. Specially not a boss.
And it can be you are reading him having manners for him being interested. If you are new and young he might just be encouraging you, so you feel more at ease at work, work harder and smarter.
I had a funny conversation with my BIL last week about manners. We were at the store and a guy standing behind me asked if I could hand him a head of lettuce (my shopping cart was in the way) so I grabbed a nice one and handed it to him. With the thanks and you're welcome, sorry I was in the way... After wards, my BIL said OH my I didn't think you were a flirt! And I was surprised because ALL I did was USE my manners. I didn't bat my eyelashes or gush about lettuce - I just did what I thought ANYONE would do. Be polite. Apparently manners are easily confused with flirting.
Long story short. Your boss MIGHT just be a man with manners, not flirting with you.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (16 April 2014):
Please remain professional @ all times.
You are mentally analysing this situation, far more than you should.
I agree with all previous comments. You are surely treading on thin ice.
Regardless of what you think, feel, or assume here, he is your CEO (Top Dog) & he has the power to hire & fire!
If you are wrong & i suspect you are, then he may begin to see you as an irresponsible, young female employee, who is thinking with her heart, instead of thinking with her head, which is what your work role there, is all about.
He will pick up on your body language, unbenknownst to you, this may put him off & he may contemplate firing you, because of your seemingly, unprofessional work conduct, when working alongside him.
Men are not stupid, they can & do read between the lines, so be very careful.
You say he is out of your league, so why are you even investing any of your time & emotions, needless worrying, over this guy??
As a woman myself, i work with many men, who behave in a very open & friendly manner toward me, but this by no accounts, means that any of these men are lusting after me, so having said all this, your CEO may have nothing more, than just a friendly & professional connection with you.
He may well be acting differently toward you, because of the subtle hints that you are sending him. Your signals.
From what you have written, it sounds to me, that YOU are the one who is secretly very keen on your CEO & if i am right, then you will only be let down.
Don't get your hopes upwith your CEO.
You would be better to meet a guy, outside of your workplace, because if things do not work out between the two of you, @ least you can detach from the entire person/relationship & move on freely.
If you are involved with your CEO & it does not work out, you would not wish to work there again & everybody @ your workplace, will surely find out about you & he & this woould surely change the dynamics between you & everybody you work with, especially your CEO.
You may well be ruining your own reputation & digging your own grave.
Think carefully about this entire situation, going on within your head space.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 April 2014):
Do not risk your job, focus on your work.
He is doing his job and doing it well, he is encouraging you and praises you - that's his professional role.
There is no evidence what so ever he likes you romantically from what you have written.
If its romance you want,, look of outside work to find it, and good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): From what you've written I don't really see any evidence that he likes you in a romantic way. Sure, maintaining eye contact, smiling etc etc etc can be indicators that someone is attracted to you but they are also signs of a frienship as well.
I think that often, when someone has a crush and they're wandering whether or not to pursue a relationship, they try to analyse their crushes behaviour so much that they start to see things that aren't really there. Every glance, smile, accidental knock or clumsy action suddenly becomes a possible sign that they're reciprocating your feelings.
Besides, what WiseOwl said is true. Dating a work colleague, especially if they're are your superior and are responsible for evaluating your work is fraught with difficulty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): If you work directly with the CEO, you must be professional and stay focused.
He is evaluating your work, and will put his job before yours; because that's how it is. I really feel uneasy with people trying to carry on romances at work in these days and times. Jobs are hard to find and to keep.
There is such a risk you take; if you're off the mark.
You are looking for romantic signals from the head honcho; and on top of it all, you get flustered when you should be putting forth your best. What if you are totally misreading his politeness for more than it is? Can you afford to do that?
Then, you claim he is out of your league. If you feel that way, why would you be looking for signs of any interest in you, other than your job-performance?
As for clumsiness? That isn't how he got to the top. He is human. If there is a female making googly-eyes whenever he's present; it would make anyone "uncomfortable" in a strictly professional setting.
Only one problem. If he feels uneasy, he has the power to make it stop. So you're treading on thin ice. I'd say let him make all the moves, if you not sure. Stay strictly professional. You can't afford to jeopardize your employment by losing it in-front of the Chief Executive Officer; who is the guy who signs your paycheck.
If your gut-feeling is uncertain. Trust it. Powerful men don't have any problem getting their point across. No matter who it is.
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