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I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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He dumped me because I'm not his mother's choice!!!
Q. Hello there, I posted a previous question earlier, it was about my boyfriend, who i dated for quite a long time, our relationship was beautiful, we were deeply in love with each other and then he just ditched me in the minute out of nowhere saying t...
A. 17 August 2011: Hope things have improved for you since all this happened?
You were certainly getting a raw deal back when you asked this questions. Just thought I would check back to see how you are going now - you don't have to follow up this - but I did noti... (read in full...)
Cheerleader with terrible body-image issues
Q. hey,, im very self conscious. I am a cheerleader and the flyer (the girl who is thrown up in the air) and so im small and i weigh just about 105 and i tell everyone that i weigh 95 because i feel if they know i weigh over 100 i will be called f...
A. 10 January 2011: Being the flyer with the cheer leaders is a great honor, and I can see it means a lot to you. Yet there will be other school highlights. And later career highlights, that will eclipse even your role as the flyer in the cheer leaders
There are so m... (read in full...)
Cheerleader with terrible body-image issues
Q. hey,, im very self conscious. I am a cheerleader and the flyer (the girl who is thrown up in the air) and so im small and i weigh just about 105 and i tell everyone that i weigh 95 because i feel if they know i weigh over 100 i will be called f...
A. 9 January 2011: You have a job in the cheer leaders, where you were chosen because others perceived you as the very best choice.
But you sure are very tough on yourself. And I can see that you are very diligent and you aim to be very responsible and do the very... (read in full...)
He left me and now his family tells me that he still loves me
Q. My ex left me 8 mths. ago after 7yrs together basically, for someone else. His reason although, vague was because he wasn't happy. We had our ups and downs like anyone else but, for the most part we got along well. I really had no clue this was ...
A. 9 January 2011: it would count with me if he told you his feelings and he explained his thoughts to you and he was intent on convincing you that he would never be unfaithful to you.
But if the butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker and all his family (but not ... (read in full...)
He asked me to text him, not email him. Would his GF think it was cheating?
Q. in january 2010 i broke up with my ex and it ended on bad terms (he cheated on me with his ex). since then we have both seen other people and got on with our lives since then and have had no contact until recently. he randomly sent me an email to...
A. 8 January 2011: It is good that you have moved on. It would not have been easy for you. And the Cheating is such a disrespectful thing to do in a relationship. And have no intention of doing anything to hurt his Gf. You know how horrible, being cheated on, feels ... (read in full...)
A love triangle to untangle. What should I do?
Q. i went to a new school, to get a new start and Cass was my very first friend. A couple days after we met she started talking about this guy, and how he liked him, but he was 18 (we are 15)! i said if you like him back go for it! A few days later i ...
A. 8 January 2011: When we are young the concept of sharing is very normal. We go shopping, we both see a top we like, so we both buy the same top. Nothing wrong with that.
Or our friend chooses to join a group, so we too, so friends can all join in the fun in the ... (read in full...)
Five months together and now he's looking at a dating site? What's he up to?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. We love each other very much, at least I think we do...we met on a dating website and when me and him started dating I obviously deleted my page. He didn't delete his but never went on ( you can see the ...
A. 8 January 2011: Never say yes to a three-some. It will never help a relationship, and is more likely to destroy it.
It might be that this man is not ready for marriage, and that after just five months the gloss has ended, in his eyes.
If he is to remain in your ... (read in full...)
My husband only cares about money. I still love him but I Don't know what to do
Q. i still love my husbnd to the core but all he cares about is money. he does not care for me nor respect me. he insults me and demeans me i do all the chores for him but am totally not appreciated. we have a baby, he plays with baby, ignores ...
A. 8 January 2011: You fell in love with him, so at the very beginning he must have done some nice things. Things that made you love him. But then something went wrong. I know not what that could be.Though it would be helpful to try to find out what happened.
One good... (read in full...)
I'm getting absolutely sick of my girlfriend and I feel guilty for it
Q. Hey guys. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend; we see each other about once a month or once every two months and talk online and on the phone every.single.night. This was FINE at first, when everything was still fresh, you know? ...
A. 8 January 2011: I can sense your pain. And that you are torn. Anyone else would feel the same.
The situation is intolerable, and has to be addressed. Please conside the following suggestion: make an appointment for couples counselling, to be attended together. Tell... (read in full...)
How do I stop liking my teacher?
Q. So, i know loads of teenagers get crushes on their teachers and youv probably gotten a question like this millions of times before, but i really need some advice! So, im 14 right now, and Iv had a few teacher crushes before, but they werent this...
A. 7 January 2011: what a great teacher. He's interested in his job, enthusiastic about teaching you about science and he dresses well. And he dresses nicely.
Yes, you are correct, teacher crushes are common. I suspect the reasons have a lot to do with the rise in t... (read in full...)
My ex talked crap about me on facebook and I can't let it go!
Q. So I just really need to vent. I already did some to my boyfriend but I still can't get it out of my head. I'll give some of the back story. Okay I dated a guy a year and a half ago, we dated for a little over a year. It was an awful relationship. ...
A. 7 January 2011: Wow you ably demonstrated to me all the reasons I think Facebook is a pathetic web site. That's all FB is: a commercial web site that helps make money for the originators of the site by making it seem like it is important, when it is not.
And you ... (read in full...)
I like my best friend's uncle
Q. I like my best friends uncle, he's 23, and we often talk, I know this isnt a crush, I've had crushes and I've never felt for anyone quite as strongly as I do for him. My friends made it clear to me that if anything ever happens that she will refuse ...
A. 7 January 2011: In what way does your friend think her Uncle is an unsuitable suitor for you? Is she aware of something that concerns her about her Uncle? If so, then she should tell you.
Or is the real reason potential jealousy? In that she can't have him, and ... (read in full...)
He's so on and off with me?
Q. Okay so I am 14 years old and I'm super confused. So my ex has been giving me signs that he likes me alot. After I had a break up recently me and my ex started chatting again alot like day and night text contact. We see eachother at school and he ...
A. 7 January 2011: he is missing you, and in his own way he is trying to demonstrate that he likes you. And there are even times when he gets a little jealous, like the time he intervened to walk between you and the other guy you were walking with. He is unsure ... (read in full...)
My fiance is into sheMale porn and has listed himself as bisexual on a dating site. I want him to be faithful and honest to me
Q. My fiance is into porn like just about every other normal Joe out there. I have no problem with this. I have no problem with him viewing the occasional she-male porn either. I get that some guys just need to look at different things. However, ...
A. 6 January 2011: Love should be beautiful. And you must really feel very very attached to your fiance. But the troubles you have faced recently, and the recent changes in your Fiance would be far far too much for most women.
When people we love change too much... (read in full...)
Why did I treat her so badly when I loved her so much?
Q. I revently lost my partner who after 5 years went on a trip to Europe and broke up with me by email 2 days before she got back. She'd just turned 25, and I just turned 34. For the last few years I had been a pretty crap boyfriend. I wa...
A. 6 January 2011: well done, if you are turning your life around then all applause to you for having the courage to move forward like this. Hope 2011 is much better for you... (read in full...)
I'm hurt and co-worker is oblivious to what he has done!
Q. a guy ive worked with the last 18 months is changing to a new team in 2 days. we've had a massive falling out. when he started we got on amazingly well and i was-still am very fond of him. ive helped him with personal trauma, hes borrowed money-ne...
A. 6 January 2011: Sadly you have just met an arrogant user. It is a horrible lesson to learn, but this man was conning you. And it makes you sick to the stomach. A long time ago I learnt your lesson. And the fact that the person borrowing treats one with complete ... (read in full...)
How can we make it work?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years and really aren't getting on. He doesn't have a job and isn't able to pay rent and no matter what I say he doesn't get one, he just says yeah I'll go tomorrow! I'm not sure what to do ...
A. 6 January 2011: You are taking on an unequal load and no wonder you are stressed. It is unfair on you. If he meant to try to get employment he would have tried to do it, and succeeded by now.If this keeps up he will bleed you dry and then move on to an easier ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 5 January 2011: his level of disinterest and apathy sounds more like he's turned off emotionally. Look up Ostracism on the internet. It means being distanced deliberately by another person. Ignored. Not talked to. Treated as a 'non-person'. I call it a ... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend wants to have sex anymore!
Q. I have a question that is a little difficult to ask because I don't really know how to. My boyfriend and I have been having sex problems lately. Awhile back he told me he didn't want to have sex every night. He used to say he wanted to and could and ...
A. 5 January 2011: don't ever think you are bad, nor ugly. Because I'm sure you are nothing of the kind. I do hope it all works out well for you in the long run ... (read in full...)
Why did I treat her so badly when I loved her so much?
Q. I revently lost my partner who after 5 years went on a trip to Europe and broke up with me by email 2 days before she got back. She'd just turned 25, and I just turned 34. For the last few years I had been a pretty crap boyfriend. I wa...
A. 5 January 2011: I am very sorry you were subjected to serious workplace abuse. And I do accept that such abuse can have a serious detrimental affect on your self esteem. And it is utterly disgusting that such hurt occurs. It can take a long time to get over it, ... (read in full...)
Living with and loving a married man, how do I leave him?
Q. i'm in a relationship with a married man, and currently living with him. He is seperated from the wife,yet he communicates with her daily. he says we're just friends and he has several other sex partners. i caare for him deeply but I can't deal with ...
A. 5 January 2011: What a Cad! He has the nerve to remind you that you and he are, ''JUST friends''. Now there is total confirmation that he thinks it is OK to enjoy the benefits of living with you. But he qualifies his position to underline that he does not love ... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 4 January 2011: i think working out the character qualities you need in a guy is essential. I am not certain you have really thought about what you want and need in a guy.
Not what he looks like. Not his voice.
Only his character. Is he reliable. Is he respecte... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: For consistently doing this to you, I am sorry to have to say this, but: His emotional detachment is a worry. His empathy level is zilch. And he is rude, and poor communicator. I would find it disrespectful if it happened to me.
Did he grow up ... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 3 January 2011: good job on your part, Largentsgirl89, go ahead and do what you and Michael think is right. You don't need to discuss it with friend nor foe. They have no business making decisions on your behalf. You know you are a good Mom. Have faith in you and ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm not his mother's choice!!!
Q. Hello there, I posted a previous question earlier, it was about my boyfriend, who i dated for quite a long time, our relationship was beautiful, we were deeply in love with each other and then he just ditched me in the minute out of nowhere saying t...
A. 3 January 2011: you are doing very well. Keep up the good work. He's looking for a little faltering in your resolve, but offering you only second best. And you know that's not OK. Accept him and you cut yourself off from moving forward. Give yourself applause!... (read in full...)
Is he leading me on? Does he just want a friend with benefits? I'm confused
Q. Ok so I met this guy a couple years ago and we were friends with benefits for a short while. Then in the begining of 09 he moved out of state but we started talking again right before he moved. We really liked each other but lost touch again soon ...
A. 3 January 2011: yes, that is confusing. But always look at actions, not just sweet words. And where there is incongruity then that is a red flag. The bit about sleeping over - incongruent with how he was before. How long ago was your previous FWB relationship?
h... (read in full...)
How come being a devoted girlfriend is not enough?
Q. Trying to make the decision either to ignore statements or end it w boyfriend. Been together 8 years. Tired of his comments that he would like to see me w another man or women. I understand more of him wanting to see me w another women, most men...
A. 3 January 2011: He certainly has a nerve. He can't put the effort in to make you feel valued and respected, as much as he should. And he thinks he can satisfy two women? In his dreams.
It is indeed very disturbing that he wants to see you with another man. Neve... (read in full...)
Is he leading me on? Does he just want a friend with benefits? I'm confused
Q. Ok so I met this guy a couple years ago and we were friends with benefits for a short while. Then in the begining of 09 he moved out of state but we started talking again right before he moved. We really liked each other but lost touch again soon ...
A. 3 January 2011: Sadly I think he is just leading you on. You do deserve better.
Interesting a guy, for much more than a FWB relationship is a longer slower more patient process. And will involve finishing relationships quickly, if the guy is not ready for a perm... (read in full...)
Why can I help everyone else find love but not for myself?
Q. I am a single parent of two kids and I dont have nobody in my life its just me and the kids. I want to know why I can help everybody else find love but not myself?...
A. 3 January 2011: I cannot say why you have not been able to find love yet. But I sure hope the right person enters your life, and you find joy.
And I know being a single parent is a really tough experience at times. You are mother and father, nurse and disc... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm thick and worthless. Am I normal?
Q. Hi guys, just wondered if anyone could help me, i dont feel normal. I feel thick. Im 19 at uni, creeping my way through a degree that can get me into a good job, if only i had the confidence. I've always struggled throughout school, colle...
A. 3 January 2011: hi,
You are perfectly normal, you are just smarter than the average. Don't beat yourself up.
Come and ask for help at Dear Cupid any time. You are always welcome.
Asking Questions? I think that is smart. The dumb ones are those who do not und... (read in full...)
'Taken' guy wants me to be 'open with him', then acts cold..
Q. Hello, I have recently made friends with a guy who is in a long term relationship. Whilst at a friends wedding I become upset and he comforted me and held me really close when I said I was sorry he said he wanted me to be open with him ( we we...
A. 3 January 2011: hi I did not assume you had been flirty.
I think his reaction is about him. Perhaps he discussed, later, with someone else, how he felt when he was comforting you. Even though, to you, he was just comforting you.
Men discuss every last thing ab... (read in full...)
Son's medical condition goes untreated by his father and father's family
Q. I am a single mum no bf with a young son who is ADHD and autistic, and I have full custody and am not involved at all with his dad. My son's dad and his family are really p***ing me off :(. This New Yr I want to change things and think I need to ...
A. 3 January 2011: PS. Further to my first post- often legal professionals have NO IDEA of all that some clients have to deal with. Often these legal professionals can have more empathy once they see evidence of the TRUE DEPTH of what you face daily.
This is wher... (read in full...)
Son's medical condition goes untreated by his father and father's family
Q. I am a single mum no bf with a young son who is ADHD and autistic, and I have full custody and am not involved at all with his dad. My son's dad and his family are really p***ing me off :(. This New Yr I want to change things and think I need to ...
A. 3 January 2011: Calmly type up everything. No cussing in it. Write it up factually, respectfully. Example below. Take it to your lawyer. And ask for supervised access. Where your ex can see the child at a place of your choice and with you present. You ONLY have to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is doing things she would not let me do. What's going on?
Q. my gilfriend met my mate off facebook and met him in town, and i think a bit of flirting - because i went with them, and she is going to town with him tomorrow as well. i wont to meet my friend which is a girl, with her friends. And my girlfriend ...
A. 3 January 2011: correction : she is flirting with another GUY not another girl (fingers slip on keyboard sometimes!
Thx Abella
Ps. M at end means zilch, was reminder to mention Mall.... (read in full...)
Does she actually think I would have a chance with a beautiful model?
Q. My gf and I were watching television the other day and an ad with this attractive model came on, she asked me, 'Would you approach her?', even though she knows I'm not the type to flirt with other women. She doesn't act like the insecure type a...
A. 3 January 2011: It was a inane thing to say. I do think it unhelpful. Though I even think some women do pose such a question as a test. Then the answer (depending on the answer) can then be used to pick a fight. And it is pathetic to try to pick a fight.
Why get ... (read in full...)
I'm scared he likes her more than me. He's dumped me and hurt me before. What are my options?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He then asked for me back, telling me all he could think about was me and that he just wanted to be with me. He and I then went to hang out, and he wanted me to have sex with him. I kept telling him ...
A. 3 January 2011: perfect answer by Cerberus Raphael - said it all!... (read in full...)
I'm trying to interpret what these words imply and mean to our relationship?
Q. I'm Asian and my boyfriend (in his mid 30s) is American, I have a few questions here regarding endearment in English as I don't speak English as my first language. 1) we call eachother babe/baby, is that the title people only use on their spec...
A. 3 January 2011: in every language there are words that mean different things depending on:
The tone used to pronounce it
The situation
Who is saying it to who
'babe and baby' usually implies a close sexual relationship.
Though some over familiar men or wo... (read in full...)
'Taken' guy wants me to be 'open with him', then acts cold..
Q. Hello, I have recently made friends with a guy who is in a long term relationship. Whilst at a friends wedding I become upset and he comforted me and held me really close when I said I was sorry he said he wanted me to be open with him ( we we...
A. 3 January 2011: he wanted you to be 'open' with him when he was trying to deal with you when you were at the wedding, so that he could better understand why you were upset, and so that he could better help you, at the time.
He is even happy to be your frie... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is doing things she would not let me do. What's going on?
Q. my gilfriend met my mate off facebook and met him in town, and i think a bit of flirting - because i went with them, and she is going to town with him tomorrow as well. i wont to meet my friend which is a girl, with her friends. And my girlfriend ...
A. 3 January 2011: there is more than one way to meet friends. Facebook is so artificial and potentionally so false. If your friend will be so disloyal as to flirt with her/and if she can be disloyal and controlling as to tell you what you can and cannot do then stand ... (read in full...)
I'm spending so much time with my boyfriend but I'm missing having girls to be friends with!
Q. Hello. okay, so, im 14 going on 15 but can honestly say i have the mental age of a mature 17/18 year old - haha- which can be seen as both good and bad. The reasons for this are because when i was around 12 i was diagnosed with M.E which is a what ...
A. 3 January 2011: i am not sure what branch of any health related branch would put such a diagnosis out there as ME. There is no such moniker. A professional Doctor would be much more specific than that.
There are more specific things like Chronic Fatigue Synd... (read in full...)
Why do I always have to be the one to initiate sex?
Q. Why do I always have to be the one to initiate sex with my girlfriend. And 99% of the time she comes up with some type of excuse not to have sex with me. This has been going on for the last year and a half and I am getting sick and tierd of ...
A. 3 January 2011: The shine has gone off this relationship. She is either not satisfied with the lovemaking and so can NOT now be bothered doing it. Or her libido is so much lower than yours that any love making is a chore for her.
You are correct re your impl... (read in full...)
When I'm with him, I'm happy, when apart, I over analyze everything
Q. I had been dating this guy I met online for 6 months before I decided to call it quits. The thing is, he's constantly calling, emailing and texting...trying his best to win me back. I'm not sure if it's guilt, or true love - but I'm starting to ...
A. 3 January 2011: it suggests that subconsciously you have many doubts that this could work long term. Short term and at the beginning of the relationship there is the novelty, curiousity and the initial spark where we temporarily suspend our critical analytic ... (read in full...)
I love her and she's pregnant with another man's baby
Q. help!! im in love with a girl that is pregnant with another mans baby what do i do? i really love this girl i dont want to lose her i am cofused any kind of advice will help!...
A. 3 January 2011: Thank you for your follow up. It partially answers some issues, but throws up new variables.
Does your follow up hint at one variable? Is this the opposite of what your original question?
Do you suspect that the baby could be your baby? Or is sh... (read in full...)
I love her and she's pregnant with another man's baby
Q. help!! im in love with a girl that is pregnant with another mans baby what do i do? i really love this girl i dont want to lose her i am cofused any kind of advice will help!...
A. 2 January 2011: If you love her totally, completely and utterly then I can understand how distraught you must be feeling, if you sense she is slipping from you.
Can you talk to her about your feelings?
You're in love with her, but is she in love with you? Yo... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 2 January 2011: hi largentsGirl89,
your son's can be legally adopted only by someone you approve of while you are alive.
If Michael is prepared to agree to adopt your son it should be done quickly, legally, and without announcing it to any other party. It would be... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 2 January 2011: Read advice from Jonas on DC - Jonas is spot on.
Plus you are so very fortunate to have Michael, who is also giving you good advice. You don't want to lose this good man.
Can you move away? Far far away? Please discuss this with Michael. Because ... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: thx for the additional new info on Guy one. Previously you only said Guy one had a derogatory word. And later you said Guy one apologized.
However guy one can now enjoy or see, be with who ever he likes. He is not trying to inflame you by goin... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: After you have said goodbye to guy two then tell guy one you are sincerely sorry for messing him around. And that you would like to get to know guy one better. If he proposes marriage say yes. If he has not proposed marriage by end of 18 months then ... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: hi, thx for follow up. I'm not confused about these two
Guy one did apologize for his reaction when he knew he might be losing you-for apologizing=gentleman.
Guy one also treated you like a princess=gentleman
Guy one also backed off when he hear... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 30 December 2010: thank you for the additional information. That additional information was very helpful.
Has guy one apologised for his reaction?
I am happy for you that you are still talking to guy one.
I am sure your baby is at a wonderful age, (eight month... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 29 December 2010: Guy one:
seemed to have more going for him in every way than guy two. His values and attitudes are gentlemanly/European. If you hadn't hesitated he possibly had plans to give you a good life. And would have treated you like a princess as long... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm not his mother's choice!!!
Q. Hello there, I posted a previous question earlier, it was about my boyfriend, who i dated for quite a long time, our relationship was beautiful, we were deeply in love with each other and then he just ditched me in the minute out of nowhere saying t...
A. 24 December 2010: hi Caringgirl, well done, you have come a long way, in working through things and will do more good things as you heal your heart. It is a pleasure hearing from a strong capable caring girl like you, hope all goes well, best wishes Abella... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm not his mother's choice!!!
Q. Hello there, I posted a previous question earlier, it was about my boyfriend, who i dated for quite a long time, our relationship was beautiful, we were deeply in love with each other and then he just ditched me in the minute out of nowhere saying t...
A. 19 December 2010: You had the chemistry together.
So that makes it especially hurtful and hard for you to endure.
But in time you will repair your heart, and seek new experiences, that will lead to meeting new, available, genuine potential partners.
If you ca... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
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![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
