A
female
age
51-59,
Abella
writes:Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been said. My first husband gave me several nick-names to suit different circumstances. Honey-pie and sweetie are two of the more benign ones. Most were very loving and a few poked fun at me in a gentle way. I can take it. Partners are wonderful at noticing if a mood needs to be lightened. Nick-names can do that. But the nicknames stopped when he became very ill. And I missed them, but I knew how very ill he was. It underpinned that even a health change can be predicted by a cessation of nick-name giving in a relationship. There was one memorable night when I wore his favorite color. Outfit, shoes, hair slide. That went down a treat. When I wore all or any part of that outfit out later, then he remembered and used that nickname again. So the nickname continued to recall and be associated with a wonderful evening. Then when I devised a long term plan, which I presented to him with all the serious severity of a State Treasury Official I received a new nick-name. (not very complementary) The said plan probably did get him a little worked up as the savings were to be effected by me not buying flowers for 12 months and him not smoking his three packets of cigarettes a day for an extended period. We made the target sum and enjoyed a lovely holiday. This was very early in our marriage, before our baby was born and before he became ill, and we regarded it as an adventure to get through and save up the required holiday money. And yes the holiday was lovely. A high point good memory to remember.Sometimes he gave me short-term nicknames top suit particular occasions. Usually affectionate and endearing, though occasionally he gave me one that irked me, but he would desist if I asked him to not keep using it.Some couples seem to give new nick names frequently. Others use the same one always. While some couples never use nick-names.I am not sure if life would seem normal if I was no longer received new nick-names on a regular basis. Nowadays I seem to be subjected to new nick-names very frequently. I can hardly keep up. At least it indicates an imaginative creative mind.As some couples never use any nick names, ever would that seem a very colorless or beige existence? or are they the couples who regard nick-names as embarrassing and not OK for them?I find such monikers very affectionate.And if you never use nick-names in your relationship is that by choice? Or because you find it hard to think up nick names? Because I think nick-names enrich a relationship. In fact my guy is known by his nick-name. He only gets one nick-name and he already had it when I met him. But I get many nick-names and he devises them on a regular basis, depending on his mood. More so when he is in a playful flirty mood. So of course I encourage it, because I think it is sweet. And as it is part of our daily interaction I do everything to encourage it and never discourage it unless a particular name irks me.I cannot think of any negatives to nick-names, but perhaps someone can think of some? Nick-names seem, to me, to convey the mood and are a barometer of how well things are going. We even use an occasional hand signal to convey meaning to each other. And if it is just the two of he can be more outrageous again. Especially when he has me laughing, with tears rolling down my face, at one of his stories. He has often said that others driving past us in the car must wonder where they can buy tickets to the show!And yes there are private nick-names that stay in the bedroom. They can create a sense of intimacy. Such as nick-names for particular loved private areas of one's body.And I could not imagine saying goodbye in the morning without getting some comments from him, and I would regard it impossible not to say darling and not to throw a kiss as I depart. To me giving nick-names are part of the glue that bonds a relationship with light and happiness. And keeps it dynamic and happy. And I realized one morning that we virtually never use our birth names, when talking to each other, except abbreviated versions of same. But our preference is usually one of our nick-names.How do you feel about nick-names in your relationship? Do you think nick-names improve your relationship?
View related questions:
flirt, flowers, money, period Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2014): a lot of my loved ones call me zeni, but my bf, who i haven't been ;eeing for long has already started calling me different nicknames. like, beauty. he also calls me catnip 'cos i love the hunger games, and in it this guy calls this girl catnip, even though her name's katniss. its strange really. he calls me cake, and brownie, 'cos he loves brownies, and he thinks i'm sweet like brownies! he's the best guy i've ever dated. i call him things too. like recently, because he plays this game called flappy bird, i call him flaps, or wings, or i just call him angel, 'cos he is an angel.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi AriSa
that's not so much fun if you didn't like the nicknames you had asa child. Usually they are given in affection, but if they are not 'right' then they don't work.
But since then things have looked up for you to be given the French for "dear" and twice. yes it is indeed endearing and very affectionate.
regards
Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Katie7062
The Baby Bear is extra cute. He clearly feels really good about you. Brian sounds like a 'keeper' to me.
The Noodles one I love. Suggests either long long legs on your part or maybe you love Noodles.
)Either way your Dad loves you because nice nick names are given to people we really like and there is good trust between the two of you :)
regards
Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, AriSa  +, writes (22 December 2011):
I was called a few names while being a child and I didn't really like them, but with my current BF we have a few nick-names for each other that we like a lot. My favorite is Chéri/Chérie and I find it really endearing when we call each other that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Katie7062 +, writes (19 December 2011):
my boyfriends name is Brian and im not inventive at all so i call him Bri
he calls me baby bear because im younger than him:3
my dad calls me noodles... i dont know why
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Lifeinsonnetform
I love your reply to this article.
Very delightful.
I have a good memory for so many names and so many possible variations in my head, that you real name is safe :)
I really enjoyed reading your follow up
Regards
Abella
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): I think this is a very touching article, Abella. It did make me reflect on the topic - one I've never thought about at length before.My younger brother (aged 15) calls me Cat. It began when we were children; he couldn't pronounce my name as a toddler, and it would come out as "Kittina" (I'd feel odd revealing my real name on here, but perhaps you can guess it from that!). Then as we got older, from a kitten I of course grew into a cat... and the nickname stuck.To my mother, I'm "amore", because she says I'm its personification. Despite having lived in the UK for nearly 30 years, when it comes to terms of endearment she'll invariably revert to her native Italian. She calls my brother "Pippo" - the name of Disney's Goofy in Italian - although she can't for the life of her remember how that one came about!My French boyfriend calls me La Demoiselle. The Maiden. I suppose the tale of how we met *does* read rather like a fairytale, but that's another story! And I call him Le Chevalier - The Knight. Ah, who says romance is dead? :) Either that, or both of us stick with "darling". You'll very rarely hear our actual names used though... we're more likely to whisper them at night than say them during the day.Few things are more personal or convey affection than giving each other pet names. It's one of those sweet gestures of familiarity beloved of us human beings alone - and thank goodness for them, I say!
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi IamHereToHelpYou,
You must be truly very loved to have everyone want to give you a unique nickname. Because nicknames are marks of affection. especially within a family. In your case everyone wants to have a unique bond with you.
Thank you for sharing your delightful unique names,
Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOdds what a lovely romantic gesture and so much fun and flirty to keep on making up nicknames using a resource that she loved. That's very smart and sounds like fun.
Those sort of games, and specific and relevant to the two people make like fun between a couple
Very smart move on your part :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 December 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAh So very confused, I think of Quilts when I hear the name Baltimore. Your nicknames demonstrate that nicknames can be indicators or a very special relationship - where a particular person is the only one who can call you a particular name. And and indicator of permanency when you create a memory in the form of jewelery with the nicknames, that's a real indicator of intimacy and creates good memories. Wishing you and your fiance the best
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (1 December 2011):
 I'm not usually big on nicknames, but I did date one girl for a while who *loved* old black-and-white movies. So, for a while, I'd call her a different old-fashioned term for "woman" at random. Dame, broad, doll, dish, skirt, little lady, curve, slip... there were a lot. I liked that; it was let cutesy and more flirty, which is the vibe I'd rather have with a girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2011):
 here in baltimore folks call each other HON or HUN all the time and it gets very deluded as a nickname... it's actually the official statement of the city "welcome to Baltimore Hon!"
that being said my daddy has a nickname for me. I'm 51 years old and he has called me this nickname since the day I was born... he still does it occassionally. NO ONE but my daddy can call me this name. not that anyone would...
my first husband and I called each other "snuggle bunny" and I thought that was cute.... I like nicknames...
current bf/fiance (we are getting engaged shortly) calls me CRITTER.... and I call him KEEPER.... Critter came about when we went out early on in our relastionship and I was feeling overwhelmed at a crowded public place and I grabbed his arm and "glommed on to him" like I was stuck with glue... he said I was all "critterfied" on him... it was said with adoration and amusement... so while many folks think it's insanity to be ok being called a CRITTER I'm so chuffed that I have a real nickname I even had my license plate changed to reflect this...
And he is Keeper becaues he does his best to keep me safe and healthy... and as he pointed out he likes the idea that I see him as something to KEEP forever.
we wear jewelery with our nicknames too.. he has a bracelet that says KEEPER
I wear a locket that says "Critter" on one side and "Keeper's Permission Required" on the other...
We are in couples therapy to work on our communication skills and one of our homework assignments a few weeks ago was to use our nicknames on a daily basis... so we try to do it often.. but I find that when we don't do it every day when he does yell for "Critter" it means so much more to me...
just like when I "clear" an activity with him I usually say "thank you Keeper"
It sounds so much like he's the big guy in charge which isn't really true but we like that illusion.... both of us.
we use HONEY a lot too.. it is actually weird when we use each other's first names.... awkward really... FORMAL even if I use the diminutive of his name (like STEVE instead of STEVEN)....
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 November 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMiamine that is a much more original name that some of mine. At least you can tell others your nick name in company.
And how civilized that you still talk to your ex. I love that, where it is possible.
Most of mine are cheeky (too cheeky) and he does it because he knows they make me blush.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 My ex calls me Pizza.. when we were young and the relationship was new, he always took me to a pizza restaurant. (poor and young) Being deeply in love and young, I tried to eat as much as he did. He thought I liked pizza, nope, I was so in love, I just copied everything he did...Eventually I realised women can't eat as much as men. And he had a bike, he stayed slim, but I was getting happy on love and fatter and fatter..Of course I had to stop, but the name remained.He's my ex, but when he calls me Pizza, I remember them days, and remember we were and are friends. I like nick names but only if they have meaning.Funny, I got a boys name.. and most men (friends) shorten it to one single letter... I know they do this because they want to feel close (friendship) to me... and in a big way, they show they understand me. (I'm part tomboy) Again, it feels nice, and strengthens connections.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 November 2011):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi Shadow Rose,
i love the 'Hun' one - your comment caused me to immediately think of 2 friends, (a couple), as that is their favorite too.
thank you for your thoughts on this
Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (28 November 2011):
 I personally never call my boyfriend by his full name. I met him as the abbreviated version of his name, and so I call him that. Other than that, we tend to use "Hun" (he says it and I love the way it sounds), and "Love" (I say it. I've watched Sweeney Todd too much I guess!), but for the most part, we use our names more often. Not sure why...It's just natural...
...............................
|
