How do I deal with a co-worker who refuses to tow the line?
Q. Hi gang, Im used to answering questions on here rather than asking them, so here goes. Its not actually strictly a relationship question but it is effecting my relationship due to stress and worry. I work as an office manager for a small chari...
A. 31 August 2014: Hi Mark, I think the comment about getting Bob to sit down with you and discussing where things aren't working is great. Could you actually explain to him that for things to work there's a cog missing in the machine- i.e. to pick up all the work ... (read in full...)
I'm about to break up with my B/f and I feel nothing during sex..no physical or emotional connection. Does this mean that sex is all about how you feel for that person?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles. I am in the process of leaving a 3 year relationship,it been tough,and volitile,but I.m finding it a bit difficult to let go of the last bit. It.s literally on it.s last legs. My question is this. The last few times I had sex ...
A. 15 December 2013: It's a very interesting question actually.
I think it IS physical, but in so much as when you're preoccupied/ concerned etc, you will feel the tension in your muscles. Very often you can 'appear' relaxed, such as when trying to pretend everythi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's brother is getting me down
Q. im 24 and my boyfriend is 28 and we have been together almost 4 years. he lives in a one bedroom apartment and i still live with my parents as its closer for me to get to work. i visit and stay with him from a friday until a monday, sometime...
A. 15 August 2013: Thank you for your update. It's great to hear that you're recognising just how much you're worth and that you're going to use this confidence and self-respect to stand up for how you deserve to be treated. That's very interesting that his brother... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's brother is getting me down
Q. im 24 and my boyfriend is 28 and we have been together almost 4 years. he lives in a one bedroom apartment and i still live with my parents as its closer for me to get to work. i visit and stay with him from a friday until a monday, sometime...
A. 14 August 2013: I think that you're a marvel for having lasted as long as you have. The whole situation sounds claustrophobic. It is one thing that your boyfriend is considerate for not asking his brother to leave whilst he has nowhere to go, although it migh... (read in full...)
Is there really such thing as a psychic?
Q. Is there really such thing as a psychic? Ok, strange question, but please read. I'm 26 and a mother of one. I have a degree in genetics and I'm a secondary (high) school science teacher, so I'm slightly skeptical of all the supernatura...
A. 12 July 2013: I share your 'skeptism' to the extent that I always question these things when they occur.
I feel such excitement/ awe I feel when I experience or hear about these sorts of things, yet I'm aware that many people inevitably put on a sensible... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 7 August 2011: Hey, OP, I agree with Chigirl in that you're maybe tying yourself in knots by trying to over-explain and justify this preference. I also think that her comment; 'You think you want virginity, but what you NEED is someone who loves you and res... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 24 July 2011: Hey, hon,
A couple of thoughts for you;
My first thoughts were similar to angelDlite's post- if you want exciting stories to be able tell people- go out there and make the exciting stories really happen! Then you can twice as much fun sharing... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to remove a tattoo from my chest which spells my late sister's name, because my ex had the same name, and my GF doesn't want to be reminded of my ex!
Q. My twin sister died a few years ago in a car accident. I was really affected by her death. She wasn't just my sister but my best friend. I got a tattoo of her name on my chest so that she'll always be next to my heart. I have been seeing a...
A. 11 July 2011: I think that dmartin89 summed it up perfectly! Seriously, though- you're response to this is remarkably considered. By any fairness, the person writing for advice right now should be her, and the question should read more along the lines of; ... (read in full...)
Do most infidelities go undiscovered?
Q. Hi there. Some of you may find my question strange but here goes. What I would like to know is do the majority of infidelities go undiscovered? I am studying psychology and I am really interested in this subject and I am in no way asking this ...
A. 31 May 2011: Also, to answer your original question; I like to think that if the affair/s are on-going, the afflicted will simply ‘sense’ that something isn’t right. If Darren Brown can read which card someone can pick up or even which shape they’re thin... (read in full...)
Do most infidelities go undiscovered?
Q. Hi there. Some of you may find my question strange but here goes. What I would like to know is do the majority of infidelities go undiscovered? I am studying psychology and I am really interested in this subject and I am in no way asking this ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well, hey, 'idoneitagain', it appears that we had fabulously similar takes on this post! :) OP, please don't think I was having a go at you at all- I actually think that both idoneitagain and I just found your post interesting food for thought!... (read in full...)
Do most infidelities go undiscovered?
Q. Hi there. Some of you may find my question strange but here goes. What I would like to know is do the majority of infidelities go undiscovered? I am studying psychology and I am really interested in this subject and I am in no way asking this ...
A. 30 May 2011: Hi OP,
I find your take quite interesting...
Although, I'm not quite sure I've understood you rightly, when you say that, 'Personally i would forgive a cheater as I am not particularly insecure sexually'.
Of course I agree that we're diverse... (read in full...)
So why haven't I met someone who seems like a good match?
Q. So I'm 27, almost 28, and I've never had a real serious relationship. It frightens me, because I feel like there's something wrong with me! I date guys, but they never seem to stick around long (I'm not clingy, I'm actually pretty cool and funn...
A. 27 May 2011: Hey, hon, I think that most people go through 'ruts' at one time or another. (We can't have 'better' days if every day's the same, and that'd get pretty monotonous, right??) Speculating on your post, the line 'I'm not even sure what kind of ... (read in full...)
How do I make her realize that I love her beyond our religious differences?
Q. Hello. Since 7 months I've known a girl who was just a friend in the beginning but as I got to know her more and more I was deeply, very deeply attracted to her. It's just that only I see her that way and since she doesn't want to get into ...
A. 12 May 2011: I've often thought that someone I was interested in could ask me out in any which way and I would still be delighted, or that someone I wasn't at all interested in or attracted towards could ask me in the sweetest of manners, but yet, no matter how ... (read in full...)
I found out she's a loose easy fluzzie.She's not wife material.
Q. Evening everyone. I'm in need of suggestions on how to break it off with a woman I've been seeing since this past August. I want to do in a way that won't insult her or cause her self esteem to go down. For the most part we've got on pretty well and ...
A. 7 February 2011: I'm so sorry to hear how appallingly she treated you. You've done everything right and yet she still stooped to twist your actions back on you, accusing you for having found out the truth. There must be a stronger word than hypocrite for her ... (read in full...)
I found out she's a loose easy fluzzie.She's not wife material.
Q. Evening everyone. I'm in need of suggestions on how to break it off with a woman I've been seeing since this past August. I want to do in a way that won't insult her or cause her self esteem to go down. For the most part we've got on pretty well and ...
A. 7 February 2011: You poor love. I really feel for you on this. What you've learnt IS appalling.
She's not only been having an affair- but an affair with TWO people, and causing to ruin and potentially break up a marriage in the process. And indeed- not only tha... (read in full...)
My bf refused to pay for my food. Should I dump him?
Q. I ordered a piee of pizza last night and the guy behind the counter looked at my boyfriend and said "it's ready". I looked at him and he looked at me and said, "What... aren't you going to pay?" I felt instantly insulted that he didn't offer to buy ...
A. 28 January 2011: If you would break up with your boyfriend over the price of a slice of pizza then this relationship is not worth very much to you.
... (read in full...)
Ex alone for Christmas? Or let him spend with my family?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend of 2years, 7months ago, because we were in a long distance relationship between the US and UK and he cheated on me. We still speak now and again via email and Facebook but that's about it. Last night we were talking ...
A. 15 December 2010: I don't think anyone 'deserves' to be alone, Christmas or whenever. Whether he deserves to be with you or not after how he's treated you is another matter...
But I DO think that you are a very lovely and kind hearted person- and the same of your ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the party and risk upsetting my boyfriend?
Q. To cut a long story short, my boyfriend cheated on me so we split up and i slept with one of our guy mates. We sorted things out and got back together but promised we wouldnt go to town at night without each other. Its my best friends 21st and i ...
A. 25 November 2010: Aww, hon- it'd be a real shame to miss your best friend's 21st! Did your boyfriend initially agree to go with you? Talk to your boyfriend and see if you can't mutually agree some way around this. -United front. Explain to him how impor... (read in full...)
I only seem to be interested when there's a challenge
Q. Hey! So I have a problem I cant figure out... whenever theres a guy I meet that I'm attracted to, I flirt with him and everything because I like him, but then when I find out he likes me, my feelings and attraction towards them, just go aw...
A. 4 October 2010: I wonder if you aren't rushing to feel things. So many people want 'a relationship' before they've even found a partner to fit the role.
In your mind, perhaps you're looking for the attention and affection of the fairy tale romance before you've g... (read in full...)
What do women want in a person?
Q. Good evening, Dear Cupid community: In my experience, there comes a question that men often ask: What do women want? The reason I post this question, is because some of these questions I see here in the community stem from this. There seems to b...
A. 8 September 2010: Okay, presuming that you're also a believer in loyalty. If your partner continued to lie and cheat on you, you would leave them? So if you believe in equality and you've dated anyone that didn't treat you as an equal, why would you continue the ... (read in full...)
What do women want in a person?
Q. Good evening, Dear Cupid community: In my experience, there comes a question that men often ask: What do women want? The reason I post this question, is because some of these questions I see here in the community stem from this. There seems to b...
A. 7 September 2010:
The thing that strikes me is that in asking 'what do women want?' you seem to firstly assume that all women want similar attributes and secondly seem to want to know your future woman before you've even met her.
No two women want exactly the ... (read in full...)
Does flirting with other guys equal cheating?
Q. Does flirting with other guys equal cheating? I've got a bf but I tend to sometimes flirt with other guys, no touching, nothing, just teasing them. Is this wrong and does this mean I'm cheating in any way? ...
A. 12 August 2010: Hey,
I think Irish49 makes some good distinctions between the implications of flirting when you're single or attached- very true!
'Cheating' in the loosest sense is simply not playing fair. -Would you be comfortable to act the same way when he... (read in full...)
Is it better to be wanted or needed?
Q. Here's a bit of a hypothetical question which has been bugging me... In a relationship do you think its better to be wanted or needed? Why? ...
A. 11 July 2010:
Hmm... interesting question- and a very good point in your follow up!
Being ‘Wanted’ should form the essence of every relationship. Without 'want', a relationship is cold.
(This is the sort of 'relationship' we should only ever have in ou... (read in full...)
What is a good quote for a tattoo - to show I have overcome depression?
Q. I suffered from severe depression in the past and want to get a tattoo to show that I have overcome it. I want to get a quote. does anyone have any suggestions...
A. 29 June 2010: Honeypie has hit the nail on the head with this one- if you do get a tatoo, it ought to be something personal to you to be truly powerful.
Incidently, a friend had 'don't let the bastards grind you down' tatooed on her inner arm, just up from her... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reason for breaking up doesn't make sense!
Q. My girlfriend recently dumped me but I can't seem to understand why. Her reason was that when she was with me she was happy but when she was not she was really down. This seems really strange and sounds like she is not giving me an honest reason why ...
A. 23 June 2010: Staying friends with an ex that you still hold feelings for can often make it far more difficult to move on in the short term. Simply having her continued presence in your life encourages you to continue to think about her and about the relations ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reason for breaking up doesn't make sense!
Q. My girlfriend recently dumped me but I can't seem to understand why. Her reason was that when she was with me she was happy but when she was not she was really down. This seems really strange and sounds like she is not giving me an honest reason why ...
A. 23 June 2010: Could she mean that although when you were together she enjoyed the moment and had fun with you; but that when she stood back and looked at the bigger picture, it just wasn't what she wanted long term/ or that she wasn't fulfilling what she really ... (read in full...)
He loves me, he's not ready, he comes back, now he won't even be friends! What's going on?
Q. I'm confused. My boyfriend broke up with, right. Like the night he was doing it I managed to stop it the first time. Cause he was telling me how he wasn't ready for a GF. So I had pep talk with him and got back together with me saying that he was ...
A. 16 May 2010: Hi, I'm so sorry that you're suffering so much over this. Even as new ears to your situation, I hate to hear how upset you are over this, so it must be 100 times harder for your boyfriend to have broken this news and to see you hurting like this.
... (read in full...)
I love them both but I can't have them both!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend who recently asked me to marry him for 3 years now, he is the kindest and most loving guy and he treats me like a princess. However over the past 8 months i have been getting feelings for an old friend of his, and the ...
A. 5 May 2010: I quite agree, Q, and I think it works both ways. I always assume that my skin is made of glass and that everyone could very well be picking up on at least the essential emotions of what I'm thinking and feeling. Counter this with the possibility ... (read in full...)
I love them both but I can't have them both!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend who recently asked me to marry him for 3 years now, he is the kindest and most loving guy and he treats me like a princess. However over the past 8 months i have been getting feelings for an old friend of his, and the ...
A. 4 May 2010: Aww, I'm glad if I've helped a bit. From the outside it sounds like such a 'good' problem- being in the privileged position to choose- but I honestly think that it can be one of the hardest dilemmas you can face when there's no clear answer. I th... (read in full...)
I love them both but I can't have them both!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend who recently asked me to marry him for 3 years now, he is the kindest and most loving guy and he treats me like a princess. However over the past 8 months i have been getting feelings for an old friend of his, and the ...
A. 3 May 2010: I really feel for you in this. It's a horrid situation to be in if you genuinely don't know which way to jump. I experienced a similar situation myself once upon a time. Looking back, the decision seems obvious. My gut feeling is that the answer ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this happy?
Q. I'm 19 and I just had a general question. I have been good friends with my now current boyfriend for a few years. We have been dating for almost a month. I have never smiled so much in life, I feel like I'm glowing from the inside out and whenever I ...
A. 3 May 2010: Aww- yes, yes, yes! What a cute question!
Or rather- it's special. And it's great for shaking off the Monday morning blues when you've happy daydreams to enjoy!... (read in full...)
Husband never says I love you after we have sex
Q. Hello, I am really upset with my husband, because after we have sex, I always tell him I love him, and he refuses to say it back (he does tell me he loves me at other times). I explained to him that its really important to me to hear it, and tha...
A. 30 April 2010: Actually, as frustrating as this may be, it may actually be evidence that you have married an admirably genuine and sincere guy.
Think how easy it would be for him to appease you and just go through the motions to appease you? Very!
It's cl... (read in full...)
Dos and don'ts of a long distance relationship?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with my girl for over two months, how do we survive, what are the dos and don'ts,because i have heard that it rarely works. If u have been in one before,your help we be appreciated. ...
A. 19 April 2010: Actually, I got to thinking more about this later. Not only do you need to be trustworthy (as you do anyway!) -but it also becomes sensitive for you to also 'be seen to be trustworthy'. If you give the other person any reason to suspect that you... (read in full...)
Dos and don'ts of a long distance relationship?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with my girl for over two months, how do we survive, what are the dos and don'ts,because i have heard that it rarely works. If u have been in one before,your help we be appreciated. ...
A. 19 April 2010: I find it strange when people say universally that long distance relationships don't work.
Imagine the love of your life, assuming that they love you as much as you love them; no distance in the world would make me give up on that!
And sin... (read in full...)
Are we destined to have bad relationships depending on how we were raised?
Q. Dear cupid, I've been wondering this for a while now and maybe it's true maybe it's not but I have watched it happen to alot of people, heard famous songs about it, even watched it in movies and those movie ideas had to of come from someone....
A. 13 April 2010:
It's an interesting point.
I think the more that we're educated- both by modern pet-psychology (of ill-treatment and of history repeating itself etc) and by our parents changing/ ending/ learning from their relationship and aware of the negat... (read in full...)
He puts his ex and son ahead of me.
Q. I have been dating this guy for about 3 months. We really like each other a lot. He has a son with another woman and I know that I can't compete with that, but here's the problem. He says that he is tryin to get along with her so that he doesn't ...
A. 8 March 2010: His behaviour tells you all you need to know about why you do NOT want to stay with this man.
He's not putting his child before you- he's putting dodging supporting his child ahead of seeing you. He's actually spending time with that child, s... (read in full...)
A disturbing confession by my friend's 11 year old daughter
Q. Last night i babysat my mates little girl who is 11 and found out something im really not happy about.... Now heres the situation. They have hardly any money-Her partner works part time and she doesnt have a job-basically they are l...
A. 28 February 2010: I agree with quiet-echo regarding this situation. I think you should carefully explain the situation to the child yourself. Simply explain that you have worked for your money and that this is simply the basis of working hard to 'earn' a living.... (read in full...)
I have discovered my mother has left my sister everything in her will, this is the final straw after the years of abuse my mother gave me as a child
Q. I have just discovered a will my mother has made 2 years ago. she has left my sister everything, lot of land, large house, money and everything that she owns. she has left me her share in a piece of land that there is a legal battle to ownership ...
A. 24 February 2010: Flippin' 'eck- Miamine- your answer really moved me- what a heart warming story!
OP- I experienced being favoured on the other side of the parent pool when I was much younger. Once I was old enough to have this explained and to understand this, wh... (read in full...)
He's making me feel guilty because he pays for me on dates!
Q. i've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for over a year now. in the beginning of the relationship, things were fine. i was in high school and he was in college. neither of us were quite financially sound (hey, we're students), so it...
A. 23 February 2010: Of course it IS lovely to be treated once in a while, but this is a long more committed relationship now and these are not solely dates that he initiated.
If your boyfriend was on more money than you, would you still go dutch?
You are study... (read in full...)
By accepting my wifes affair am I just prolonging the inevitable?
Q. Hi , i have been married for 12 years but this year i found out that my wife was having an affair . We are trying to work things out but she still wants to keep seeing the other man . I am not happy about this and at the moment it has been left that ...
A. 22 February 2010: I think you know the answer to your own question. If this was your sister, or your son asking this advise of you- you would tell them to GET OUT.
You don't deserve this treatment at all. No one does. Think about it- if you treated your wife thi... (read in full...)
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