Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 4 January 2011: i think working out the character qualities you need in a guy is essential. I am not certain you have really thought about what you want and need in a guy.
Not what he looks like. Not his voice.
Only his character. Is he reliable. Is he respecte... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 3 January 2011: good job on your part, Largentsgirl89, go ahead and do what you and Michael think is right. You don't need to discuss it with friend nor foe. They have no business making decisions on your behalf. You know you are a good Mom. Have faith in you and ... (read in full...)
I love her and she's pregnant with another man's baby
Q. help!! im in love with a girl that is pregnant with another mans baby what do i do? i really love this girl i dont want to lose her i am cofused any kind of advice will help!...
A. 3 January 2011: Thank you for your follow up. It partially answers some issues, but throws up new variables.
Does your follow up hint at one variable? Is this the opposite of what your original question?
Do you suspect that the baby could be your baby? Or is sh... (read in full...)
I've tried to be a friend, but I have been played for a fool
Q. sorry for the length but please guys can anyone advise. ive known a guy for over a year. I thought we were good friends hes had a lot of personal issues and trauma which ive been there for him, hes borrowed a fairly large amount £400 ? in bits over ...
A. 2 January 2011: It really is bad the way the borrower tries to make the lender look like the bad one?
I am so glad I learnt this lesson years ago in High school. After I had been abused by the girl (when I asked for and I'd asked her 8 times over a month sh... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex and I don't want an affair
Q. My wife has not wanted sex for over 2 years. Should i consider a prostitute. I do not want an affair....
A. 2 January 2011: If it is a health issue then I am sure you will support her. To help her regain some of her former participation in this important aspect of a loving relationship.If your wife has been upset over a unresolved personal issue, between you and your ... (read in full...)
I just want him to say he doesn't want me any more
Q. I need to get over my ex. I'm not too sure how to do it. It has been a year. He says he loves me but he jus can't be with me because I had a baby by someone else(I did not cheat) however I think if you truelly love somebody you can work threw ...
A. 2 January 2011: you have been apart for a year. He does not want a relationship. And he cannot handle that you had a baby by someone else, even though you did not cheat on him. And he does not want to talk to you.
Yes you do need to get over him.
And sadly fo... (read in full...)
How can I turn my life around so I don't feel the way I do?
Q. I go to an all guy school.... There's only 2 other girls and I'm not Friends with anyone there... It's a school for bad behavior and learning dissabilitys... I have troubles around males... And bad trusting issues... My biological dad abused me and ...
A. 2 January 2011: you have certainly been subjected to some horrible experiences.
The reason you are where you are is that you are still affected by those experiences from the past.
But this you must remember: you did not do anything to cause these bad things t... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do. Fiance threw her ring at me after a huge fight. I think I've had enough.
Q. Not quite sure what to do here. My fiance of 3 months (dated a total of 2 years 5 months.. lived together for a year and a half) and I got into a big blowout over how I "never listen" and take friends opinions more seriously and how I "lie" about ...
A. 2 January 2011: First, and I mean this very sincerely, you are a Saint in comparison with many unattached (ie not yet legally married) guys.
There are many unattached girls who would delight in your company.
And although some may say she has been sick, this is ... (read in full...)
How can I have safe sex without the use of birth control and condoms?
Q. how can I have safe sex without the use of birth control? My boyfriend doesn't like to use condoms and I trust him to pull out but sometimes I'm afraid. I would like to be on birth control but I can't be prescribed because I'm on chemotherapy pil...
A. 2 January 2011: millions of babies have been born throughout the world for eons using the pull out method of (NOT) birth control. It is unreliable.
Similarly millions of people throughout the world have contracted Sexually Transmitted Diseases from NOT using a co... (read in full...)
I think I hate my boyfriend? How do I dump him w/o hurting him?
Q. I hate him. I hate his personality. I hate how he makes me feel. He just got through telling me how it's ok for him to randomly give me negative comments about my appearance, even though he knows i wont change how i look for anybody and all ...
A. 2 January 2011: Search this site for some answers to people in abusive relationships. Such nasty relationships are never worth it - they are too painful and unproductive.
Be clear in your mind that this time really mean it when you break with him. If you keep drop... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about my sex life (or lack of it) and about my views on my virginity?
Q. I'm seeing a guy who I met at the jive club I go to, he broke up with his ex-girlfriend of 6 years about 8 months ago and she's annoyingly self confident. I'm not. I'm a virgin and have little to no experience with guys. I'm concerned that if our ...
A. 2 January 2011: i do not think one's past experience or lack thereof should be discussed. Although i find it a grave breach of trust when girls have shared every last snippet and then have it thrown back in their face (as the 'reason' he is now breaking up with ... (read in full...)
Am I looking for love where its actually not?
Q. I have a question about love, and the woman I believe that I love. When I think of her , she is beautiful in my mind, but when i see a picture of her she looks no where near as i imagined, when we talk on the phone she sounds like a princess,again I ...
A. 2 January 2011: but love does not spring up instantly - that is usually lust or a crush. An instant flame that glows and dies quickly.
Love can take years and decades to grow fully. It's a slow burning fire with a need to fuel it from time to time. An ensure that... (read in full...)
Am I looking for love where its actually not?
Q. I have a question about love, and the woman I believe that I love. When I think of her , she is beautiful in my mind, but when i see a picture of her she looks no where near as i imagined, when we talk on the phone she sounds like a princess,again I ...
A. 2 January 2011: some people are very photgenic, others are not. Some people look much better in person than they do in a photo. Although men are very visually focused when they fall in love for all the right reasons then some of the things that tip then over the ... (read in full...)
I love her and she's pregnant with another man's baby
Q. help!! im in love with a girl that is pregnant with another mans baby what do i do? i really love this girl i dont want to lose her i am cofused any kind of advice will help!...
A. 2 January 2011: If you love her totally, completely and utterly then I can understand how distraught you must be feeling, if you sense she is slipping from you.
Can you talk to her about your feelings?
You're in love with her, but is she in love with you? Yo... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 2 January 2011: hi largentsGirl89,
your son's can be legally adopted only by someone you approve of while you are alive.
If Michael is prepared to agree to adopt your son it should be done quickly, legally, and without announcing it to any other party. It would be... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 2 January 2011: Read advice from Jonas on DC - Jonas is spot on.
Plus you are so very fortunate to have Michael, who is also giving you good advice. You don't want to lose this good man.
Can you move away? Far far away? Please discuss this with Michael. Because ... (read in full...)
Why do people think they can talk down to you, just because you're serving them food!
Q. Hi guys just a random question. Since I was 14 Iv worked in fast food to aupport myself and help out my family. I'm currently in uni and online o graduate with a first. But why is it that people think they can speak to you like crap just cos your ...
A. 2 January 2011: It is complete rude ignorance when people do this.
I do hope some clients treat you in a civil manner? It beggars belief that some very rude people think it is OK. It is not.
One of my techniques from the past (that worked well for me at the time... (read in full...)
I'd like a girlfriend but not sure how to get one
Q. I'm a 19 year old male and am single (always have been) . I would quite like a girlfriend now but I'm not sure how to get one. I have no problem talking to girls and I'm not shy. People say I have a good sense of humour. I haven't had the expe...
A. 2 January 2011: hi Jacko4444, just thought I wd add, be your Genuine self. And you do sound like a good genuine guy. Then you are more likely to find a Genuine girl.
Genuine girls run from:
#Mom's boys - as are known to be wimps
#Boys who makeout they are som... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: thx for the additional new info on Guy one. Previously you only said Guy one had a derogatory word. And later you said Guy one apologized.
However guy one can now enjoy or see, be with who ever he likes. He is not trying to inflame you by goin... (read in full...)
I'm in my mid 40s, but my overbearing mother won't back off!
Q. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with my mother. Quite a bit of the following is venting, so you may want to skip to the question at the end. I'm in my mid 40s, but she still tries to tell me what to do constantly. There are many thing...
A. 1 January 2011: i am very sorry you have had to endure such a toxic/manipulative mother. And can understand why your ex wife is so hostile to her. And the idea that all mothers are amazing maternal paragons is untrue. I have a wonderful mother in law, but she had a ... (read in full...)
Our conversations dry up, how do we communicate better in this new relationship?
Q. So I've just starting dating this guy, and we like each other its just we have trouble keeping interesting conversations alive. A lot of the time our conversations are quite dry and get driven straight into the ground followed by silence =/ We don'...
A. 1 January 2011: when you talk always start the conversation with Open questions and not with Closed questions. A closed question takes you no where. (yes or no answer)
An open question keeps it alive.
Example: Want to go to the Zoo?
Answer: yes or no
Example:... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: After you have said goodbye to guy two then tell guy one you are sincerely sorry for messing him around. And that you would like to get to know guy one better. If he proposes marriage say yes. If he has not proposed marriage by end of 18 months then ... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 1 January 2011: hi, thx for follow up. I'm not confused about these two
Guy one did apologize for his reaction when he knew he might be losing you-for apologizing=gentleman.
Guy one also treated you like a princess=gentleman
Guy one also backed off when he hear... (read in full...)
Mother in law's gifts always make me feel extremely bad
Q. My mother-in-law keeps buying me gift vouchers for a certain shop which is known as an plus size shop and also as the old woman(granny)shop. She has been doing this now for 5 yrs, birthdays and xmas. I am overweight size 16-18 but i have had some ...
A. 1 January 2011: What a tactless mother in law! She may just be a thoughtless woman. Or she may erroneously think she is doing the 'right' most appropriate thing.
But without doubt i think she is being unkind. Even if she 'plays dumb' and makes out she does not ... (read in full...)
She tells me she still loves me, but as a friend
Q. I dated a girl, who I absolutely fell in love with from the first time I met her. However, things did not work out for us. It was my fault, I said things I shouldn't have. I have continued to have feelings for her. She continues to want to be ...
A. 1 January 2011: She is being entirely honest with you. Where once she may have had thoughts of you, closer than she has today, she still likes you. As a friend.
She has met someone else who is more than a friend. A person is engaged to. Someone she loves enou... (read in full...)
He Says We Are Done, So Why Does He StilL Call Me Like We Are Still Dating, Each and Every Day?
Q. Hello. I know, I know, this sounds totally riduculous, but here goes. I have to have closure for the New Year, and perhaps you can help me. I had been dating a man for approximately 18 months before we split up during the Summer of 2010. We ...
A. 1 January 2011: You had a relationship where, to him, everything else was more important than his primary relationship, with you. And if he is dating a new lady then he's doing the same to the new lady. By talking to you, as if his new lady was not there, as if all ... (read in full...)
I'd like a girlfriend but not sure how to get one
Q. I'm a 19 year old male and am single (always have been) . I would quite like a girlfriend now but I'm not sure how to get one. I have no problem talking to girls and I'm not shy. People say I have a good sense of humour. I haven't had the expe...
A. 1 January 2011: Hi Jacko4444,
1. First you have one great advantage in that you can be funny and make girls laugh. This is a very good skill to have, and can disarm and relax the girl at the start.
2. Do not discuss your past experience nor your lack of experien... (read in full...)
We have great chemistry. I like him. But what are your thoughts on fact he has no real friends?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a very close friend and we hve great chemistry. He has liked me for a while now he said, and he would love to go out with me. I told him I'd think about it, but I'm sure I'll say yes because he is such a great funny and cute ...
A. 31 December 2010: What a lovely respectful guy. He's not pressuring you. He's asked you, he's happy to give you think time. And he's probably crossing his fingers awaiting your decision.
He definitely likes you.
You are thinking this through carefully too, and one ... (read in full...)
Like, lust or love? What really demonstrates and defines it as love between two people?
Q. I was thinking and want to know, what exactly is love?...
A. 30 December 2010: Love has many definitions depending each person's situation, perspective and outlook.
And even more than one definition of love from the same person.
Sometimes it is even easier to define what is NOT love.
A person's age and experience w... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 30 December 2010: thank you for the additional information. That additional information was very helpful.
Has guy one apologised for his reaction?
I am happy for you that you are still talking to guy one.
I am sure your baby is at a wonderful age, (eight month... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much? I'm not asking to change, just more emphasis on an emotional connection.
Q. So I’m not exactly sure where to turn, my friend uses this site a lot and he says it’s always a good help for him, so I’m hoping someone has some insight on my relationship problem. Sorry for it being so long. I’ve been in a long distance rela...
A. 30 December 2010: Wow, you are seriously contributing to this relationship. But your partner appears disinterested in doing so. Sometimes people do have an undiagnosed medical condition, but a medical specialist would have to diagnose that. A family might shrink f... (read in full...)
Did I lose a good guy by vacillating? And can I trust the other guy?
Q. Been dating again - Guy one: European guy Was perfect until we fell out with each other over a derogatory word. Guy two: US guy 2 wants to fly me into Florida and has bought me a flight - now am battling what to do. Been getting to know guy two ...
A. 29 December 2010: Guy one:
seemed to have more going for him in every way than guy two. His values and attitudes are gentlemanly/European. If you hadn't hesitated he possibly had plans to give you a good life. And would have treated you like a princess as long... (read in full...)
Said he adored me. We broke up, so then he scared me when became abusive. Now wants me back?
Q. Please help i loved someone, he looked cute. i dated him now 2 years together. He says he adores me, but one day we fought so hard, so i decided to break up. He started to scare me, with the msgs. He had he started to shout and say bad words, and ...
A. 29 December 2010: He scared you when he targeted you with msgs, he shouted at you, and he used bad words aimed at you, after the break up. He made you feel bad.
Always judge a man by his Actions, not his words. Words are cheap. But actions show character
His a... (read in full...)
Why do my classmates make fun of me? How can I blend in and make them accept me?
Q. My name is Cailtyn, but I go by the nickname Cat. In my classes I'm barked at and people make fun of it all the time. I've asked them to stop and I've explained it's just a shortening for my name when they ask. They say I think I'm better than them. ...
A. 29 December 2010: Yes, the bully gang will often target someone they think is smarter, dumber, prettier, uglier, taller, wider or thinner than themselves. Redhaired when they are blonde. Or a threat to them in some way.
A great way to handle bullies is to not r... (read in full...)
I fall in love with a guy I met online. We are not compatible physically except emotionally. Should I follow my feelings or follow my head?
Q. Hi, I'm 32 and I've been on dating websites for a year now since my last break up. The guy i was with was very different to me, and i vowed not to get involved with somebody similar. he was a nice guy, but we disagreed strongly on a few things,...
A. 29 December 2010: Sometimes opposites do attract. But remember a written conversation only is not a complete relationship. Maybe you should meet once, although that would be sad if you did not like each other in person. What you have is essentially a penpal. I have... (read in full...)
Is it my own insecurities or is he in the wrong here?
Q. Im in a relationship with a guy I have known for a long time and we now have a baby together. I really love him and want to be his wife one day, but I always think hes cheating if hes not with me I think hes cheating of flirting I hate for him to be ...
A. 29 December 2010: It seems that your concerns about your relationship and the perceived actions and motivations of your partner and what you see as your insecurities are impacting on several areas of your relationship with this guy.
If a partner (A) has not in a... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me a tart!
Q. im 14 and me and my bf have been dating for about 5 months and im not gonna lie i have had sex with him and not just once but any waay im a street dancer and me my boyfriend knows i wear shorts and belly tops alot and when im with him he doesnt mind ...
A. 28 December 2010: Your boyfriend is showing his distress for how he is feeling and his concern for the impression you are giving out to others.
But he should not have called you a tart.
A tart is how you behave.
But many people will incorrectly surmise a gi... (read in full...)
My friend is a major alcoholic!
Q. So my friend is a major alcoholic for his age. I wanna help him out but he drinks to be happy. A way that helped my cousin to stop drinking was to find that one special person who can make you stop drinking or someone you want to change for. Would ...
A. 28 December 2010: You cannot and should not try
This is your friend's problem, not yours
Your friend needs to join AA (alcoholics anonymous) ... (read in full...)
Should I tell dad that his new fiancee is the same girl I had sex with at a drunken frat party?
Q. i met this really hot girl at a frat party and we got drunk and had sex. she was a year older and graduated a few months later so nothing after that happened. my parents got divorced a year later and when my dad started dating he got engaged with ...
A. 28 December 2010: it is up to her to tell him if she wants to (I would hope she would not as it will only cause pain)
It is not up to you to hurt your father's happiness, (even if you wish he hadn't divorced your Mom)
So this is your opportunity to demonstr... (read in full...)
My fiancé changed his character 5 days before the wedding!
Q. Hi guys, I'm revisiting this website after yet another abusive relationship that has ended in tears. Sorry if this drags on a bit! I initiated the break-up of my engagement last week (just before Xmas!!) after my fiancé flipped whilst he was ...
A. 28 December 2010: Hi Ayisha,
What a shocking roller coaster you have been put through. His appalling behavior is so disrespectful to you.
A leopard does not change his spots quickly. I think he is not the man you thought him to be. And the drugs is a No No No. An... (read in full...)
Should I be scared because my perfect hot guy wears kinky underwear?
Q. Hello! I started dating 2 months ago this very hot guy, who is so perfect. He's a lawyer, he's very beautiful in his mid-30s, he's wealthy, has a nice house and on top of that he's very nice and generous... The thing is last week, I surprised hi...
A. 28 December 2010: It's always a shock when we come across something that we never imagined would happen to us or would see.
And yes it is an unusual choice for a guy.
But he's not alone, or the item wouldn't be manufactured.
But at the start of a relationship... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to avoid your ex?
Q. Is it wrong to avoid social situations where you ex, and her bf will be at the expense of your own happiness?...
A. 28 December 2010: while you still have any memories that cause you any pain or any distress about a past relationship there is nothing discourteous and nothing untoward if you choose to absent yourself from such situations.
Time and finding someone you can learn to l... (read in full...)
My aunt's father in law made inappropriate comments and now I feel really uneasy around him!
Q. I have a bit of a problem. Over the holidays me and my relatives went to visit my aunt's in-laws and their family, who I used to feel comfortable around. They're usually nice and welcoming people, so I had no reason not to like them. But, on t...
A. 28 December 2010: i think you are observant. It would appeal that the said father in law has sanctioned and encouraged a culture amongst the men in his family - to objectify women.
And the women stay silent - they have learned to ''know their place'' - that sil... (read in full...)
My aunt's father in law made inappropriate comments and now I feel really uneasy around him!
Q. I have a bit of a problem. Over the holidays me and my relatives went to visit my aunt's in-laws and their family, who I used to feel comfortable around. They're usually nice and welcoming people, so I had no reason not to like them. But, on t...
A. 28 December 2010: yes he did go too far and yes he is to be avoided. I am glad you gave his age. Initially as I started to read i thought he might be approaching senility and losing his inibitions. But that was not the case. I realise at Christmas everyone tries... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|