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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 14 July 2015: Whatever interest he has in yours and his sisters sex life, if most definitely, as you put it- Weird!
Asking questions like that about his own sister is not a good thing, nor is it appropriate, and to be h... (read in full...)
This is my first serious relationship. I need advice please on my three big questions?
Q. Hi, So my boyfriend and I are going to different high schools this upcoming school year and he's not really worried. He's confident that we will be just fine together. I on the other hand am less worried than I used to be but I'm still worried...
A. 14 July 2015: It's very nice to hear a young person posting about how to both balance her relationship and school life :) A lot of the time a lot of teenagers (even me for a while) Decided to give up on spending time doing assignments for school and simply just ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want his friends to find out that he's going out with me. Why? Why does he limit communication?.
Q. At the moment I am feeling really upset because I'm going out with this boy and he won't barely talk to me, he has got a lot closer to his friend but I doubt that's the problem. He told me that he broke up with his ex girlfriend because she was ...
A. 12 July 2015: Whenever a guy doesn't want to be seen with you or doesn't want people to know he is with you it simply spells TROUBLE.
I would of understood if maybe for the first week or few weeks he wanted to keep it a secret, but after a month and a ha... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to my best friend choosing to be a friend to my adopted sister who has left home?
Q. So my adopted sister left home and back-stabbed my family after all we did for her. Now she won't talk to us or anything like that. So I found out that my bestfriend is all besties with her now, and I can't but feel betrayed by my best friend....
A. 12 July 2015: Things happen in life that we don't like, may I ask how your adopted sister back stabbed your family? Of course its obvious to see that whatever happened between your adopted sister and your family it has hurt you greatly and I can imagine how ... (read in full...)
Is this just what kinda person he is? Or am I genuinely to blame for all this?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend today... and I really really need some help. We hadn't been together for much longer than a month.. but we had dated 3 years a go for 9 months. He was my first for everything and even though he was both violent to me and ...
A. 18 March 2015: Thank you very much :) All of your words have been kind yet true and I can now see where you are all coming from.
We were stuck in an endless cycle, and even though I did plan to have a serious relationship with him, our lives were too differen... (read in full...)
Is this just what kinda person he is? Or am I genuinely to blame for all this?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend today... and I really really need some help. We hadn't been together for much longer than a month.. but we had dated 3 years a go for 9 months. He was my first for everything and even though he was both violent to me and ...
A. 6 March 2015: We have argued a lot... over stupid things normally that he would take out of proportion.
I have got rid of him.. today has been very hard as he expected us to just keep on talking like normal.. he has told me he loves me and all of that shit and... (read in full...)
Should I just cut my interest when it comes to her and be friends? Or should I aim for something more than work friends?
Q. Hey everyone, hope you're all having a pleasant evening. My question for you all today is... how do I get a girl from my work to like me? I'm sure the things I'm doing so far are just hindering my chances. So the thing is we have worked toge...
A. 4 March 2015: No problem :) And just don't lay it on too thick... be smooth :) Sometimes something as small a little compliment can open up a window of opportunities.. you should be able to see how she is feeling when you give these compliments. Women normally ... (read in full...)
Should I just cut my interest when it comes to her and be friends? Or should I aim for something more than work friends?
Q. Hey everyone, hope you're all having a pleasant evening. My question for you all today is... how do I get a girl from my work to like me? I'm sure the things I'm doing so far are just hindering my chances. So the thing is we have worked toge...
A. 3 March 2015: You can't really get anyone to like you.. they either do or they don't... what you can do however is see if she may already like you or not :) Which I guess may be just as good.
I have always found my best indicator to see if someone may like me ... (read in full...)
I acted immaturely towards him and then asked if he wanted to be FWB's, he hasn't responded. Advice?
Q. I met this guy off this dating site. I didnt like him at first, I thought his voice was loud and very pronounced (Im assuming he had to learn how to talk that way from teaching; he is a first year math teacher). He is a good guy though but our ...
A. 3 March 2015: I hate to say it to you, but I think maybe he wanted to cut his ties... its obvious you have made a mistake, and you done your best to apologize for it, and even if you screwed up, you did your best to try and reverse it.
Don't feel like many mor... (read in full...)
Worried about moving away from my parents with my partner. Should I wait or should I go?
Q. Hi there, I'm 27 and I've not moved out of my parents house. At the moment i'm facing the prospect of moving over an hours drive away with my partner to be closer to my work, but I have a lot of concerns about it. I've never moved out or l...
A. 3 March 2015: I personally think you should wait.. as you said yourself: "my relationship has gone on long enough that we SHOULD move in"
I think as well as it being closer to work, your main reasoning behind why you want to move out is simply because that is ... (read in full...)
Was I expecting too much? Or was he inconsiderate when he chose to see his friends on the day that was our first anniversary together?
Q. so, in terms of problems it isn't really huge but, i been with my boyfriend for a year now and there this thing that has been nagging my mind for quite some time now. he was my best friend of 5 years before we got into a relationship and in those...
A. 2 March 2015: I agree totally with Honeypie! You shouldn't be worrying about being like his ex, and you shouldn't be deliberately trying to avoid doing the things that she did to just make him happy.
Surprises, dates, anniversaries are all parts of b... (read in full...)
Would you cancel your wedding if your family wasn't interested? Is my fiance's suggestion better?
Q. I'm getting married next summer to the love of my life. We have been together almost 3 years and I love him so much. I'm 21 he is 30. I got engaged last year and booked my wedding but my family are so disinterested. My mother and father hate soci...
A. 2 March 2015: The only thing which should matter in this situation is if YOU are happy... and if you are happy then your families opinions should not matter.
Its not your fault that your sister and niece don't want to be a part of your wedding, if they wan... (read in full...)
College or Surgery? I can only pick one!
Q. To put a long story short, I was once morbidly obese. I've gotten to a *somewhat* healthy weight of 160, but I can't stand my body. I avoid looking in the mirror at my body. Over the past 3 months, I've come to the conclusion that I want to g...
A. 1 March 2015: Congratulations on the weight loss! You have done very well to come this far, and you must remember to be proud of yourself even if the end result isn't quite there yet!
This situation is a very hard... (read in full...)
My weight is interfering with my sex life...How can I be on top without feeling insecure?
Q. What is the best way for a plus sized woman to be on top during sex without hurting her man? When I say plus size I'm referring to 200+. I'm 5'9 and my weight is 216. My breasts are rather huge, bigger than a 44D and I have some stomach fat and love ...
A. 1 March 2015: I know this must be very hard for you... I have had issues with weight in the past, and when it came to sex the very thought of it would frighten me.
I was so worried about being too heavy.. or just not being able... (read in full...)
Does he have a crush on my sister? Should I talk to my friend about this?
Q. I am 17 years old male. My sister is 15 years old and my best friend is 17 years old male. When I was at my best friend's house, I went into his bed room to get something when he was in the bathroom. When he was in the bathroom, I noticed he had a...
A. 1 March 2015: If I was in your situation... I would find that creepy.
When boys have crushes on girls, of course they may tend too look on there facebook page and scroll through there pictures and what not.. but actually printing a picture off and having i... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is set on renting a house with me, but I don't know if I can afford it!
Q. hi, i am 22 and my girlfried is 19, my girlfriend of 9 months is planning on getting a flat with me next year, wich i dont feel ready for, i pay 180 a month to live with my mum and dad and am on a decent wage , and she pays 100 a month to live with ...
A. 25 February 2015: This isn't fair on you. She is pressuring you into getting a flat and if you can't afford it she should accept that.
9 months is way too soon for you too move in with her, because honestly, when you ... (read in full...)
Man I started talking to online won't stop sexting me! Opinions?
Q. Right, hi everyone. :) So I'm hoping to throw this out there and see if I'm overreacting. The other day I started chatting with a guy online and we seemed to hit it off. We exchanged numbers and the next day we decided - quite spontaneously...
A. 25 February 2015: He seems like a time waster. It's obvious he is just trying to get some free kicks online, and both of you are looking for different things.
Ignore him, block him, find someone worth talking too. x ... (read in full...)
Is it natural to get so anxious about dating? What can I do about it?
Q. Why do I get crippled with anxiety as soon as the possibility of anything romantic rears its head? As a person I am perfectly together and happy, I have had three past relationships so it's not as if I'm completely inexperienced, and for a long ...
A. 25 February 2015: I have had this problem for a very very very long time and I understand exactly what you mean.
I personally think it does go with being young but I myself spent a few years not being able to understand why in comp... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I are fighting over small things but he doesn't learn from our fights
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been fighting a lot lately. Ridiculous as it may sound, its over small things, like not saying goodnight, not saying I love you, forgetting to say goodmorning, not picking up when calling...frivolous reasons and some ...
A. 23 February 2015: How much time do you spend together? I have been in your same position but the reason as to why we were having so many fights about pointless things were due to us ALWAYS being together!
I personally think from what you have put that... (read in full...)
He's a good man but I miss having cuddles and sex
Q. hi, i have been in a relationship for just over 9yrs. i love my partner very much. we used to have a very healthy sex life but over the last 3/4 yrs we hardly have any sexual relations at all, nothing. no kisses,cuddles,touching etc. i have tri...
A. 23 February 2015: Please don't worry! You aren't painting a bad picture of him you are simply being honest! :)
Now.. even though I am young I have heard that sometimes this can tend to happen when a man gets older. Normally when a wo... (read in full...)
Do I swallow my pride and text him first?
Q. Up until last Friday I was dating a guy for nearly 2 month, I really liked him but on that friday he went on a night out with his ex , we argued and he said it was innocent they were only talking about something. But why not just speak over text or ...
A. 23 February 2015: To me it all sounds very strange. He randomly went out on a night with his ex so they could talk about "something"? Sounds suspicious from the word go if you ask me.
It all really depends on who this... (read in full...)
Should I let my irresponsible sister move in with me?
Q. Hello, ok after suffering years of abuse, I have decided to move out of the turbulent man's house I have called father for years. The issue is I have enough cash to set my self up...tho am still seeking employment but the things is I have a twin s...
A. 22 February 2015: This is a very hard situation to find yourself in as like you said.. she has done wrong to you when you had no where to stay but after all she is your sister.
It seems like you have really been looking forw... (read in full...)
We've only been dating six weeks but he seldom initiates contact with me
Q. I have been dating this guy for 6 weeks. We have met up multiple times though it has been hard as I am a single mother to my 4 year old son. The reason I am here is because I need to know if this is normal or okay. The man I am seeing barely co...
A. 22 February 2015: Unfortunately.. some people just are not very good when it comes to texting/messaging etc. I have also found that this does apply more to men than to women.
I haven't a clue why some people are not too good at t... (read in full...)
How do I let him know of my needs? I do worry about him flirting with other girls. And it does upset me that he doesn't compliment me as often as I would like.
Q. How do I learn to trust my boyfriend? He does go out with his friends. But I'm just worried he is out flirting with women. Its frustrating that at his age he still loves going to clubs and he drinks a lot. I love him but wish he grows more m...
A. 21 February 2015: I myself have never liked guys or girls who call themselves "natural flirters" as too me it just strikes me as them using an excuse to get away with more than they normally could! The first thought I got from reading your situation was that... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my bad reputation in a small town? My new Gf's father said I should not be dating his daughter
Q. I'm 21 and I just started dating an amazing girl. Unfortunately I did a lot of stupid stuff in my past to make fathers not want me near their innocent daughters. She is 18, a senior in high school and lives at home. Her father liked me the fir...
A. 21 February 2015: I also live in a very small coastal town... and unfortunately reputations tend to stick for longer when everybody know's everyone else's business! It probably wouldn't be the same if you lived in a big city, however if we all could choose where we ... (read in full...)
Seeing my ex has brought up all these feelings of being an oddity, help?
Q. Its probably a bad idea to ask for advice on this subject but I'll give it a go. I know its silly but I would like some opinions. I am going to be 18 in a couple of months and about 3 weeks a go something really weird ha...
A. 8 October 2014: The reason I place things at odd with myself is because for a very long time I have been made to feel like I am odd, from others. And I am not just talking about people who are my age, but family members, teachers just anyone really. And I know from ... (read in full...)
Seeing my ex has brought up all these feelings of being an oddity, help?
Q. Its probably a bad idea to ask for advice on this subject but I'll give it a go. I know its silly but I would like some opinions. I am going to be 18 in a couple of months and about 3 weeks a go something really weird ha...
A. 8 October 2014: Hello! Thanks for all of your advice :) Its been very helpful but I guess I should just clear some things up a little bit. I do agree with you, I probably have been giving off the whole I want to be single vibe, but there have been one... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 26 August 2014: You sir, are an inspiration! Well done and good luck on your journey of recovery! :) ... (read in full...)
We are at different stages in our lives, but I want to get to know him!
Q. Recently I met a man a camp we both volunteered at. Early on we found ourselves chatting and having a great time. A friend invited is for drinks and we bonded even more. Completely out of no where we ended up sleeping together which was so out of ...
A. 11 August 2014: Oh...well maybe he wasn't as great as he made out :/ Sorry to hear that, try and keep your head held high anyway :) ... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 10 August 2014: No, I think he is telling the truth
If he didn't find you attractive he wouldn't be dating you, simple as, so he does like you and does find you attractive.
I think the reason h... (read in full...)
Is it important that you like the engagement ring that your boyfriend gave you?
Q. Hi aunty! My boyfriend proposed to me last year and now were getting married this year. But i dont like the ring he bought me I told him before i want a specific designs. But he bought different. Which i always tell him about it but not to be in...
A. 10 August 2014: No I don't think its important.
I think the thing which is important is they put some time into it, I know peoples boyfriends who have just brought them a crappy £10 ring because they couldn't be bothered to look for ... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 10 August 2014: I don't think your an asshole, but its interesting you said punching things provide a release.
You do know you could start to turn things around even if you just looked up on different ways to turn your anger arou... (read in full...)
Why do I still feel so hurt and messed up after breaking with my ex a year ago?
Q. Dear Cupid! Why do I still feel so hurt and messed up after breaking with my ex a year ago? We were together on/ off for 9 yrs! I now believe he had a lot of narcissistic tendencys! He lied, had ex girlfriend he would hook up with behind my back! ...
A. 9 August 2014: You have been through an awful lot, and even after a year going through stuff like that, especially with kids will take a lot to get over. Of course the fact that he is your children father and you still have to see him when you... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem too interested or she'd call me right?
Q. Hi,well am in a situation, do I call or wait, about two months ago I started talking to this women at Sears, she works there, I used to. Before we only said hi, but we started talking, she took my number, took her three weeks to call, we talk for ...
A. 9 August 2014: Even though its kinda silly, in this day and age it seems to be the man who has to do everything first and that includes calling or texting. I think you should give her a ring, ask her why she is taking so long to reply, she migh... (read in full...)
Semi nude picture on boyfriends computer
Q. I know this makes me sound uptight, but this is bothering me to no end. My boyfriend was letting me sit in his lap and help him look through some stuff on his computer. We went to the picture library and there was a picture of a girl he knew there. ...
A. 9 August 2014: No you aren't over reacting, also how old was this girl in question? Having photo's of someone under the age of 18, or 21 in some countries, is classed as child pornography, not to mention saying he was keeping it for BLACKMAILING purposes is a ... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 9 August 2014: I thought you said you don't fight a lot? I take it this is a usual thing then? If so its blatant you need help with your anger.
She is probably bringing up all of the times you have lost it to get you realize that you need some kind of help... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my girlfriend's past. She had sex with this guy at our office and I cant seem to get over this
Q. Okay, so I have been seeing a girl for a month or two now and it is absolutely fantastic, I love her with all of my heart and consider her to be 'the one' for me. There is just a slight thing which I know I am getting too hung up about but I would ...
A. 9 August 2014: Its pretty obvious what has happened here. You liked her, you started gaining feelings for her in these months leading up to you getting together. So for someone getting her attention that wasn't you, it made you jealous, even if it was before you ... (read in full...)
What's going on? Is he just shy or am I just being led on?
Q. I've not long got out of a rubbish relationship, no feelings for a long time so I'm not worried about the moving on bit tbh. I have met someone new though. We met on a singles site and have been out about 8 times in the last 3 months. I re...
A. 9 August 2014: What exactly do you want to happen? Kissing every now and then, hugging and cuddling up in his apartment? That just sounds like normal dating to me. Also why do you want to rush in to things? Its not been long since you have gotten out of a rubbish ... (read in full...)
We are at different stages in our lives, but I want to get to know him!
Q. Recently I met a man a camp we both volunteered at. Early on we found ourselves chatting and having a great time. A friend invited is for drinks and we bonded even more. Completely out of no where we ended up sleeping together which was so out of ...
A. 9 August 2014: I personally think you two sound like a good match :) And i'm glad you decided not to have anymore sex, as you don't want to make the same mistake as many others and end up just having a relationship based on sex.
Its also... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: Sometimes cheating is in peoples personality's. I find that a lot of men and women who tend to cheat are normaly selfish and greedy when it comes to every day life, but of course anyone can cheat, whether they have the best sex life or not.
... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 9 August 2014: People might not agree with me. But I believe you. I believe you got to drunk and things got way out of the control and eventually everything turned into a blur.
Like I said, think if you drank anything else... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 8 August 2014: As long as you haven't displayed this behaviour EVER before towards her, and that includes really really agressivly shouting and punching walls during arguements with her, then I think its obvious the problem was the DRINK.
... (read in full...)
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