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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Why don't I have any drive or passion for my business ideas?
Q. This isn't about love but I could really use some advice. I hope that's ok. I poured lots of money into a tv show pilot, the problem is I'm not motivated to continue with the idea. I think the idea is good and needed but I find myself dragging ...
A. 18 February 2019: Better to vent your doubts here than to the program manager.
Suck it up, fake confidence in your idea if you have to, but give it all you have. Be an unscrupulous salesman for an hour or so..
You’ll regret not trying.... (read in full...)
Does one bj make your husband gay?
Q. My husband used my laptop and forgot to close the sight he was on, when I got home I turned on the computer to check on a recipe and there it was: My husband was making a date with a woman ( he gave her his cell phone #), I was furious. He said that ...
A. 12 December 2014: Depends on your classification of sexuality really, i believe its on a spectrum- but i think bi-curious is a term used for ppl who dont act on it and if they do then they can be considered bi.
nevertheless, the trust issue is the biggest issue he... (read in full...)
Do I continue indulging in what used to be an affair or just end it?
Q. Okay so please don’t judge.. the question is somewhat selfish and I get it. I was in a 9 yrs LTR and recently broke it off. I was engaged to my ex and It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. I am still struggling to get on the right path ...
A. 12 December 2014: Anything you guys do should be relative to your relationship status. Youre free and single now, (congrats if its for the best by the way)... but continue with this guy while hes attached and he has no reason to leave. Then it becomes a "having the ... (read in full...)
How much angry behavior is too much?
Q. How far is too far? My husband got really mad this morning. I'm a house wife and I'll admit I'm not the best at keeping up with everything. I had two loads of laundry in baskets on the floor this morning. I had folded one load and just needed ...
A. 12 December 2014: I think that the poster after youwish should post an independent question, just for some rounded feedback if nothing else... (read in full...)
I feel lonely, tired and depressed!
Q. Dear Cupid I was in long term relationship (3 yrs) and broke up about a week ago, i still think we broke up. Long story short, he became verbally emotionally abusive for past 1 yr, ignoring me for weeks, not spending any time with me, calli...
A. 10 December 2014: why did you break up and who initiated the breakup?... (read in full...)
I want to say sorry in a Christmas card!
Q. Does anyone know how to write an apology in a Christmas card? I've never been good with words so I'm not sure if i should just wish the person i care about a happy holiday or to just say "I'm sorry" for hurting them? Ideas? I screwed up and s...
A. 10 December 2014: if youve apologised in writing before a couple of times, youve gotten your msg across ok. Write her a christmas card by all means to let her know youre thinking of her, but say only what you'd say in a card to a relative... anything more than a ... (read in full...)
He isn't willing to spend New Years with me and his friends because his ex will be there. Am I overreacting?
Q. Dear Cupid, Going to try and keep things to the point. I am 22, the guy I am involved with is also 22. We are not in a relationship but that is what we're working towards, there have been a few hiccups in our situation which is why we aren't o...
A. 10 December 2014: i doubt it will wind up a fun night if ex's meet face to face on NYE when the booze is flowing, question really is if you trust him or not. Not to say he couldnt spend NYE with you if it means that much to you... does he know it means a lot to you?... (read in full...)
The drama is getting too much ...........
Q. I am dating an almost divorced man. His final court date for his divorce is in February and that's it. For the past month his soon to be ex is in overdrive trying to patch things up even though she filed. I beleive when she filed it was to scare ...
A. 10 December 2014: Yeah... Im no longer a kid and I'm being forced to endure christmas's with my dads new lady and all the "new family who aren't family". It sucks, and i bet his kids might feel the same to whatever degree.
You can win over most people, (bar may... (read in full...)
How much angry behavior is too much?
Q. How far is too far? My husband got really mad this morning. I'm a house wife and I'll admit I'm not the best at keeping up with everything. I had two loads of laundry in baskets on the floor this morning. I had folded one load and just needed ...
A. 10 December 2014: I've known guys who when they've gotten angry will trash things, but very rarely when not drunk... He sounds a bit entitled to be honest.
Does he work long/stressful hours? Does he need lots of space when he finishes work? Its purely speculat... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 10 December 2014: I dont know what its like where you are from- but separate cheques arent always an option here, shes pushing the limits and needs to be called on it. If you say - this will cover my meal, she'll cover her meal to save face, but then what of the next ... (read in full...)
Do other people have weird turn ons like mine?
Q. So yesterday, I decided to try something new and see what it would be like to whip myself and try masturbating afterwards and/or while doing so and see how it does for me.. turns out I kinda liked it. It's like it gave me a sort of rush that made it ...
A. 27 July 2012: Exhibit A.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2164886/Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-best-selling-Kindle-online-book-time-Amazon-sales-topping-1m.html
... (read in full...)
Do other people have weird turn ons like mine?
Q. So yesterday, I decided to try something new and see what it would be like to whip myself and try masturbating afterwards and/or while doing so and see how it does for me.. turns out I kinda liked it. It's like it gave me a sort of rush that made it ...
A. 27 July 2012: No doubt you've heard of that book series called "50 shades of grey by now"... Can't say I've read it myself, but maybe you should given that its now the best selling book of the year and from what my girlfriend says of it- (who's worked in a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked me to stop the handjob I was giving him, because he didnt want to ejaculate and make a mess!
Q. We were making out on his bed and it was intense ....he fingered me..he always cares a lot about my pleasure and makes sure to please me...and so far i never did anything for him...he'd say he just loves seeing me happy because it makes him happ...
A. 27 May 2012: Maybe he lied, maybe he didn't- does it really matter? You can't expect to be awesome at something you're not experienced at- and he doesn't expect you to be either.
It takes time to figure these things out- so just have fun aye.... (read in full...)
Is it over? Was I wrong? Will he ever talk to me again?
Q. me and my aquarius man have been together for two mounths now we are happy as ever when around eachother inseparable whenever theres a disagreement between us two we manage to work through it and except eachothers wishes lately i can honestly i can ...
A. 17 May 2012: I'd have to agree with aunt honesty, you are coming on a little clingy and YES, he should have told you that he was cancelling plans to see you on monday.
As a rule of thumb, if you text him and he doesn't reply, wait a couple of hours...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him but I didn't!! I was with the other guy just to pick out a birthday gift for my boyfriend!
Q. So I'm 18 and my Boyfriend and I have been dating since we were 15. His birthday is coming up in about 3months and I wanted to get him something special for his birthday. And he's been wanting a guitar since forever. So I was planning on getting him ...
A. 17 May 2012: Got a receipt??... (read in full...)
I've been interested in my friend for over 3 years and our mutual friend asked me not to tell her yet, only for me to find out that he's been having sex with her!! I feel so betrayed by both of them!
Q. I have been interested in a girl for over three years. I've never looked at another woman the same way. We are very good friends and we share a mutual friend. The reason I never said anything to her was because I discussed it with our mutual friend ...
A. 17 May 2012: This really depends on when he told you not to tell her you were interested and when they actually started being friends with benefits...
Not wanting to hurt your feelings if he was already having sex with her and having sex with her AFTER yo... (read in full...)
Regretting the offer for her to move to California with me if this is her 'real' personality....
Q. I have somewhat of a long backstory to my question, and honestly feel extremely immature resorting here, but I would rather the anonymity of the internet than posing these questions to a friend. Anyway - to start, I grew up in Maryland. When ...
A. 15 May 2012: Maybe her real personality is the one that she exhibited when she was with you and away from her family and their issues.
Understandable that you're tentative... perhaps invite her for another weekend or more so you can make a more informed deci... (read in full...)
Which guy should I choose? The one who is on and off with his ex? Or Mr nice guy?
Q. Hi, I really need advise for this relationship to come to conclusion.. I've met this guy for almost a year when he used to be with his ex, they were having problems during the time we met. We seemed "click" and we're happy when we're together. ...
A. 15 May 2012: *sigh*
This is why nice guys finish last.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the dude had a girlfriend when you both had the most beautiful/romantic night ever for BOTH of you...
Seriously..?
This is why I started being a bastard. It wor... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex whatsoever, is it wrong to consider breaking up with her?
Q. We've been together for 3 years, but this isn't the sort of thing where she gradually became less and less interested in sex... She's just always been pretty non-sexual, at least with me, anyway. We broke up for awhile about a year ago, and she had ...
A. 15 May 2012: Doesn't sound like you have a lover at all... sounds like you have a companion. Sex isn't trivial to me, but everybody is different and you need to ask yourself "if she didn't change at all from how she currently is- could I be happy in this ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex whatsoever, is it wrong to consider breaking up with her?
Q. We've been together for 3 years, but this isn't the sort of thing where she gradually became less and less interested in sex... She's just always been pretty non-sexual, at least with me, anyway. We broke up for awhile about a year ago, and she had ...
A. 15 May 2012: Doesn't sound like you have a lover at all... sounds like you have a companion. Sex isn't trivial to me, but everybody is different and you need to ask yourself "if she didn't change at all from how she currently is- could I be happy in this ... (read in full...)
I managed to convince a guy I fancy that I'm easy but now I need the skills to back it up
Q. I moved about 9 months ago and there's this guy "Sam" back home. My friend and I tricked him into thinking I'm a slut and he likes me better now. I told him when I get home I'd make out with him and give him a hand job. The thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA ...
A. 15 May 2012: If you try to give him a HJ through his boxers- he's gonna take it out himself... then what are you gonna do? Run out of the room or live up to the "slutty" reputation that you and your friend have created for yourself?
Its not my business... (read in full...)
I'm a 20 year old virgin...is that a turn off?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm in college. I've never had sex because I've never had a boyfriend and never wanted to sleep with random guys. No one ever believes me when I tell them I've never had sex mainly because I go out/party/drink a lot and ...
A. 15 May 2012: Turn off? Nope.... (read in full...)
He liked a status on facebook saying "I love having no commitments to anyone". Does this mean my boyfriend isnt serious about our relationship?
Q. Just a quick question- I have a boyfriend, we have been going out for about 4 months and for the most part, everything is great. We're always spending time together, spending the night together and spending time with each others families, seeing ...
A. 15 May 2012: I think the "like" button on facebook should be deleted... this is getting ridiculous. ... (read in full...)
He grabbed me too hard and I fell over, but he thinks this was ok because some guy was pretending to hump me behind my back. Was it ok for him to do that?
Q. Apologies in advance for being long winded and thank you for taking the time to read this. I really need some advice. This weekend my boyfriend, and I went to his friend, 'M', BBQ. While he went around talking to his friends, I mostly hung out ...
A. 15 May 2012: Booze was involved, I doubt he intended or predicted you falling over. Its a red flag of an immature guy, but I doubt as a woman beater- (if that's what you were worried about). He's either got a massive ego or he's just insecure.
I say just... (read in full...)
I get excited by dumping women and crushing them emotionally... what can I do to fix it?
Q. I'm married and I have a baby. I'm also very happy in my marriage and my wife is good looking etc. Yes, I've gone to prostitutes for a few years now, but only to get a physical release to substitute porn. Though, in recent years I've for some ...
A. 15 May 2012: "I really want to control this and stop it, but I don't know how to without getting professional help."
They're called professionals for a reason. They're the best at what they do and in the best position to personally help you in whatever... (read in full...)
Should I go to a sexually charged movie with a male friend?
Q. This might seem like a stupid problem, but i'd like some advice. A guy i know ( he's not really a friend, more like an aquaintance ) wants to go to the cinema with me tomorrow, to watch the new American Pie film. The thing is, there are lots of ...
A. 15 May 2012: I agree with N91. Sexually charged movie isn't the issue here at all. ... (read in full...)
Is it worth commiting for a visa?
Q. I have recently traveled to a European country to be with my boyfriend of a year and a half. He is both a US citizen as well as a citizen here. He was able to get a research position that will take another 3 or 4 years to finish and asked me to join ...
A. 15 May 2012: Marriage for a visa... not a great idea.
... (read in full...)
Me and my ex hung out and it was awesome, only he hasn't made contact since!
Q. Ok so after being broken up for about four months my ex contacted me and said he missed me and wanted to hang out we did and it was awesome, but he hasn't called my question is should i make contact or wait it out?...
A. 15 May 2012: When in doubt- don't contact.
... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong here?
Q. Hi there I need to know whether I am in the wrong here?? I was seeing a guy last november and it probably lasted a few months, until he was offered a job abroad (new zealand) on a contract for a year and a half. We had been friends before for a ...
A. 15 May 2012: You did all the work here, he did f*** all. I'm not sure whether he was ever really ready to get serious with you or anyone else for that matter. Either way, you're not in the wrong here if this is an accurate account of the situation.
I can... (read in full...)
Need help! Really need to get the liar back for what he did.
Q. So basically it's been a long night, my boyfriend well now ex has decided to tell me that he cheated on me, obviously it has really hurt, but I need a way to get him back. I know I shouldn't sink down to his level but I'm going to do it anyway, he ...
A. 15 May 2012: Hurt him by moving on, living your life and not looking back... Not only is it the high road, its also going to have the most impact on him when he realizes how he fucked up and lost such an awesome, independent woman. ... (read in full...)
Could someone please tell me what the heck is going on?
Q. Ok so this guy and i have been best friends for quite a few of years now. (about 4 or 5) And all of our other friends think that we would make a cute couple, and that we should date. Even my band director has started asking us if we're dating yet. ...
A. 15 May 2012: Sounds like you're the one who needs to confess your feelings to be honest...
You don't need to shout it from the top of a lighthouse, but you do need to push the boundaries of whats normal about your friendship to gauge his reactions. Flirt mo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: Hang on... first off, since when have mothers been completely aware of their son/daughters intimate or dodgy activities.
Secondly, she's not going to betray her own son and tell you anything directly, no matter how much she may love you.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: Short answer... get the hell out. ... (read in full...)
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
Q. The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
A. 15 May 2012: This makes a lot of sense, nice one frank :)... (read in full...)
Should I share this dark secret with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months, and have a great relationship. However, I feel like a fraud... he tells me that everything about me is beautiful, and I feel ugly and empty inside. He thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me, ...
A. 14 May 2012: I wouldn't tell him. It may unburden you somewhat if he accepts you afterwards... but its gonna whack that burden onto him no matter how it plays out. You can't predict how wildly knowing something like this can affect a guy. ... (read in full...)
Should I dress up and a nurse? or french maid?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for a year and I am trying to spice it up a bit I am planning on dressing up for him and surprising him but I was wondering what is a guys favourite a nurse french maid? Any answers would be greatly appreciated thank ...
A. 3 May 2012: These are the questions that keep me up at night...
I vote for a sexy bus-driver costume.
Bus-driver never gets any lovin'.... (read in full...)
How can people not think of pornography as cheating?
Q. I have something bothering me i've read and discussed this and people say that a boyfriend using porn is no different than him imagining someone in his head but I strongly disagree. Masturbating to porn is alot worse it is an actual picture but ...
A. 2 May 2012: I already feel like smashing my face on the keyboard.... (read in full...)
What makes you stay or leave in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, what makes you want to stay or leave in a relationship? Do you do pros and cons? I am at crossroads. I do not feel my newly live in boyfriend is pulling his weight in this relationship. I do not feel appreciated as much as I should be. I t...
A. 1 May 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html
... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 24 April 2012: Date..? not a chance.... (read in full...)
Would you trust this man?
Q. Would you trust a boyfriend with 2 kids from 2 different women? ...
A. 15 April 2012: Would you give your opinion on a person based on ten words?
Could you describe yourself in ten words?... (read in full...)
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