A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. okay, so, im 14 going on 15 but can honestly say i have the mental age of a mature 17/18 year old - haha- which can be seen as both good and bad. The reasons for this are because when i was around 12 i was diagnosed with M.E which is a what they call a'mental illness' where your brain thinks it is tired all the time... but there are also many difficult symtoms along with it which i'm not going to get into right now.i stopped going to school so as you can imagine i missed my friends and was mildly depressed... then things got harder for me, but after a while i got a little better and started going to school one half day a week and then two half days a week. When i went back to school it was uplifting as everybody gave me a lot of good attention, then i heard a lot of rumers going around that my friends had said about me (bad rumers of course) about the reasons why i was at home (they were made up petty reasons) which were unfair but at that age i use to stay quiet when my friend's 'bitched' behind my back as i had already lost my life to this illness and didnt want to loose my friends... even though they wasnt very good ones. At the end of year 8 i decided i wanted to go back in year 9 doing half days everyday because i was better... and so i did. i started getting closer to one of my friends that i didnt really hang out with that often and i grew closer and closer to her, eventually i drifted from my other friends and just use to hang out with this one friend. i then became depressed because of this. A new guy started school and he was the toopic of all girls conversations as he was very good looking but also very quiet. I got talking to him and we became very good friends and straight away we liked each other and planned on getting together but we got to know each other first. i of course told him about my m.e and he explained he had a very close friend who suffers with it which helped me because i didnt have to explain much but it was only very mild then anyway. Around 6 months later my boyfriend pointed out how my friend talks about people behind their backs (which i hated) i then started to realise it too and also realised i got the same when i was aroud her. as well as talking behind peoples backs she never use to say thank you when she used my make up or when i did her har for her ect. they are only very small things but there were a lot of small, rude things which of course builds up into one big thing. after getting fed up of her 'bitching' i told her i didnt want to be best friends with her anymore but didnt want to loose her as a friend... we then stopped hanging out so it was just me and my boyfriend which i thought was great. After a few months me and my boyfriend started arguing a lot... about once or twice every week and we then started to realise it was part of the 'attacthment' to each other because we had pushed all of our friend away and only foucused on one another which of course is unhealthy. After around 9 months of us being together we split up and it was very very difficult for me to handle, i even had to sleep in my parents bedroom because i use to cry every night... this was part of the 'attacthment' i had to him but of course we was also very much in love but it was an intense relationship. A few things happened during the split and we fell out and didnt talk for a few weeks so i grew closer to my old friends because me and him never spoke. after a while we became friends and got closer and closer and ended up getting back together. i can honestly say i dont regret splitting up with him as it has helped our relationship a lot. Not so long a go my boyfriend told me that he also had m.e ... i know right?! i couldnt believe it either... i thought he was taking the **** but he was serious. he explained that only his mum and a few friends knew and he wanted to keep it that way as he didnt want to make it is life ect. i forgave him and understood because i know what kind of person he was. But since i split up with him my depression got a lot worse... to the point where i insisted i couldnt live without any medication for it because i hated how i felt but the doctors wouldnt give me any medication at all. Lately my depression has gotten better but i am worried about my friends. my friend (who was part of the group i left) had said somethings behind my back about me "taking my illness too far" and my boyfriend heard it himself so i knew straight away that it was true (me and my boyfriend are the exact same... he is also very mature so wouldnt make anything petty up) he of course said something to her. I now dont know what to do as i feel i am slowly going back to how it was before as i am drifting from my friends because they are get again saying things about my illness behind my back. Me and my boyfriend are great but i miss having girl time but it feels i no longer have anyone to do that with... any advice?thanks xx
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 i am not sure what branch of any health related branch would put such a diagnosis out there as ME. There is no such moniker. A professional Doctor would be much more specific than that.
There are more specific things like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) which is more stress related. And Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD) which is more likely when you do not get enough sunlight and spend too much time indoors. SAD is more common in colder months when people spend too much time indoors. It is improved by getting sunlight on your skin.
And both SAD and CFS invariably do lead to some depression.
But there is no specific illness labelled as ME except by someone who is ignorant and not helpful.
If some unhelpful family member or a non-professional Doctor labelled you in this way as having what you say then the person is a moron.
Doctors are aware of levels of depression, and will REFUSE medication to a person whose depression is not of a sufficiently serious level to warrant medication. They will also refuse medication to a hypochonriac who imagines they have depression or imagines that mild depression (which millions get from time to time) is much worse than it really is.
One in four people will, at some stage in their life, need treatment for one of the many illneses (depression being the most common) through to (to more serious illnesses that you do not have such as schitzophrenia, paranoid schitzophrenia, psychopath etc etc) that all emanate in the brain.
I do think your parents are 'playing up' to your illness far too much by allowing you to sleep in their room.
As far as your 'friends' you need a better class of friends than anyone who is bitching and gossiping behind your back.
Give your former boy friend some support if he is depressed.
Just go on some outdoor daytime excursions with him. Listen to him. Encourage him to do what the Doctors have told him will be for the best. .
Exercise can help lift your mood when a person is depressed, so consider joining a gym together. Or join a walking group together, and do walking with the group to scenic routes that get you outside and exercising together.
Best wishes to you for the coming year.
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