A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I like my best friends uncle, he's 23, and we often talk, I know this isnt a crush, I've had crushes and I've never felt for anyone quite as strongly as I do for him. My friends made it clear to me that if anything ever happens that she will refuse to talk to me anymore and that she'd kill me (not literally). He's showed the same kind of feelings back and we've even shared a kiss. HELP!
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female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (7 January 2011):
I understand where your friend is coming from. You dont wanna ruin your friendship do you? I think you should tell them both how you feel and if your friend doesnt want you dating him then i think you shouldnt just so that you want ruin your friendship.
My bestfriend dated my brother and now me an her barely speak anymore. It ended badly.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 In what way does your friend think her Uncle is an unsuitable suitor for you? Is she aware of something that concerns her about her Uncle? If so, then she should tell you.
Or is the real reason potential jealousy? In that she can't have him, and she knows he's cute. So she is making it clear that you can't have him either.
In what way does your friend think you are unsuitable for her Uncle? You are both close in age. What impediment
exists, in her mind, to this relationship?
Which is more important to you: the friendship you have with your best friend or the pursuit of her Uncle?
If pursuit of her Uncle is more important to you, then you may have to explain your motivations and intended action, to her, before you proceed. And if you want to retain her as your best friend then making her your ally would be a very smart move to make first. For if you lose her as a friend pursuit of her Uncle will be more problematic in the future.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Ask yourself how much you value your friend. My guess is a lot, seeing as she's your best friend. Pursuing anything with her uncle is only going to hurt and upset her, as she's made it clear it will. If anything happened between you and this man, you'd lose your best friend.
It's best that you try and get over him, especially before you fall too deeply. Don't talk to him anymore and make sure you both end all contact with each other [so you can get over him]. I know this is the first guy you've had really strong feelings for, but he won't be the last. You'll move on and fall for someone else in time. But if you and him got together, and eventually broke up, you'll have lost him and your best friend.
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