Why am I so pessimistic and obsessed about how people are?
Q. I don't know how to explain my issue without making myself look naive and immature. Well I keep worrying about the growing number of people who are so selfish in relationships. I see many people cheating left and right, having a lack in character ...
A. 7 June 2016: You may be maturing faster than your years and an understanding of how things are for majority of people makes you sad. You don't have to be sad. Many people settle, many people afraid to leave a person who is wrong for them because they are too ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my chance? I don't know what I want in life
Q. Hello , my problem is i dont know what i want in life in an ideal world i would like to get married and have children but i fear doing that . Im 36 and still live at home with my parents my dad isnt well so i help out a lot , i had a girlfrie...
A. 7 June 2016: The fact that you are taking care of your father says a lot about you as a person. Give yourself some credit. I always believed that a guy has a much stronger gut feeling than a woman when it comes to selecting a mate. If you want to be happy, y... (read in full...)
How can I positively identify if my Bf is cheating on me, or not?
Q. Hello. How do I know, I mean REALLY know if my boyfriend is cheating on me? His office is mostly women employees. And I met him that way. He owns a small business. He has about 10 women who work there and only three men, all of whom are older...
A. 7 June 2016: I'd like to know what actually gives you the suspicion that he might be cheating? Have you felt this way with every boyfriend you had, or is this only happening with your current situation? My advise is that if you feel you need to track his p... (read in full...)
He's lied to me multiple times. And Cheated. Should I be 'over it' as he claims?
Q. I have a question that I need both male and female point of views on: My fiancé in the beginning of our relationship went around my back and began to be unfaithful. He had a second phone to do all his "dirty work" on. I noticed a change in his pe...
A. 26 October 2014: No, you are not wrong. He is not your soulmate and you should not be with him. But since you forgave him 9 different times you still need to be with him in order to learn the lesson you still didn't learn. I'm sorry that you will still need to go ... (read in full...)
Serious HELP! How do I keep a player interested in me?!!!!
Q. Met this guy who is very very wealthy, handsome and well connected yesterday. We swapped numbers and he has texted me asking me out. But he is saying stuff about how he wants me and wants me to go to his house etc. Obv he is a player and takes diff ...
A. 4 August 2013: when he asks you to come to his house, you should say:
"You know what, I would love it if you join me at ... (Pick a place where he would be interested in going).
And if he insists you come to his house again, say:
Thank you, but I'm really looki... (read in full...)
Is she really busy as she says, or just keeping me on hold?
Q. There's a girl I really like and know through my summer job. We talk quite a bit and I enjoy her company. We can be really honest with each other, she tells me about things how she felt a bit overwhelmed away at school or goings on in her life, etc. ...
A. 4 August 2013: The proper thing to do would be to call a girl in the beginning of a week and ask her for a date on the weekend. If you call after Wednesday, don't hope for a girl to have time for you. She may already have plans for the weekend. So beat her to it, ... (read in full...)
Is he still mulling things over or are things done?
Q. Hi cupids, i previously wrote a post about being badly treated in the past by men, cheated, used , abused and how its affecting my relationships now. well there is a new guy in my life, or so i thought. My insecurities got in the way and i think ...
A. 4 August 2013: 5 days of no contact that's a bit cold.
I wouldn't hold my hopes too high for him to come back.
Sorry, but there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Make sure you work on your pride and value. Being insecure is very difficult on a relationship be... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so shy when it comes to sex that I feel like he doesn't want me. How can I get him to open up?
Q. My boyfriend is so shy in areas of sex and foreplay that it makes me feel like he doesn't want me. Whenever I say this to him he gets annoyed and angry with me. He says that he wants me, but he never expresses it and it's very hurtful for me. I've ...
A. 4 August 2013: there are some guys who are not very aggressive in that department and prefer to lay back and have the woman take control. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want you. If you are successfully having sex (meaning he has an erection) he wants you. If you ... (read in full...)
At what point is it OK to buy lingerie for your girlfriend?
Q. Me and my gf have been seeing for a year and a half now . I’m thinking I would like to get a special gift. I’m thinking about lingerie. when is it ok to lingerie for your girlfriend? Any advice about getting lingerie for a girlfriend? Is that ...
A. 4 August 2013: It would be an awesome thing if you got her something like that as a surprise. It would mean a lot to her. And after a year together, I think you are definitely in the sexy lingerie time period.
Good luck,
and have fun.
... (read in full...)
I feel like if my ex and I become FWB he might want to get back together with me like he did in the past
Q. I've been dating this guy for over two years. In that time we had broke up and became friends with benefits for about 3 months after which he asked me back out and we dated for over a year and a half. He recently broke up with me, and would want to ...
A. 4 August 2013: You seem to be ok with the fact that he broke up with you for the 2nd time after dating you 1year and a half, so I assume you guys split up on friendly terms.
My question to you is why would you still want him in your life? Why wouldn't you want... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend to move in but she wants me to tell her what I plan for the future. I'm not sure what I want yet, what do I do?
Q. I am 25 and I recently asked my girlfriend of 4 years to move in with me. She is 28. She told me she needed to think about it for a few days, but when she came back she told me she couldn't decide until she knew for certain whether I want marriage ...
A. 2 August 2013: If you already spent 4 years with her and you still don't know that you want to be with her for the rest of your life, moving in together is the wrong thing to do.
Ask yourself, what more can you find out, if you already know the person for 4 ye... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend to move in but she wants me to tell her what I plan for the future. I'm not sure what I want yet, what do I do?
Q. I am 25 and I recently asked my girlfriend of 4 years to move in with me. She is 28. She told me she needed to think about it for a few days, but when she came back she told me she couldn't decide until she knew for certain whether I want marriage ...
A. 2 August 2013: My advice then is not to move in together. Moving in together is for people who believe they are considering marrying already, but just not at that step yet. If you are not sure, don't do it. She will keep pressuring you when some time passes by and ... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to get pregnant on purpose. Her b/f doesn't have a clue..do I tell him?
Q. My friends from school (lets call them sarah and matt to make it easier) have been with eachother for 9 years and from what I can see, their relationship is on the rocks. ? sarah confided in me last night that she has stopped taking her ...
A. 2 August 2013: Hi,
I think it's very important for you to get involved. Doing the right thing is always the right thing, even if it results in loss of a friendship.
This kind of a friend is not worth keeping. True friendship is when your best friend will ... (read in full...)
Girls seem to be able to cope with every emotion except anger ...
Q. My every relationship got off to a good start and girls seems to fall for me quickly. They like my laugh and jokes. As soon, they see my other emotion: Being angry, they just start looking for reason to end things and that has already resulted in a ...
A. 2 August 2013: How long were these relationships before you got angry? And what did you get angry at? Did it solve anything for you?
I feel that you are frustrated that girls can't accept you for who you are, but you have to understand that anger is a scary th... (read in full...)
I met a guy on Facebook, I really liked him and told him I missed him. He hasn't spoken to me for several days now. Will he contact me again?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook two weeks ago. I sent him friend request and he accepted me. after that he messaged me saying he wanted to say hi and saying I am beautiful. after wards we kept chatting and he gave me his number and he says I can call him ...
A. 2 August 2013: Hi, I agree with WiseOwelE, you can't get all "gaga" over a guy you didn't even meet in person. And for the future if a guy genuinely likes you, telling him you miss him will never make him run away. But please remember that guys are much... (read in full...)
Does he want to keep in touch or was he just being polite?
Q. Hi I haven't seen a friend of mine (who I've known for a few years) in over a year because we're in different parts of the country right now but we do keep in touch over email every so often. He did say to keep in touch and seemed interested i...
A. 2 August 2013: Hi,
based on what you described, it seems to me that he is one of those very rare men who are polite and know that a girl's feelings could get hurt when someone she likes doesn't quite feel the same way.
I think it's his way of telling you that... (read in full...)
I've been saving for 9 months so that my boyfriend and I could move in together only to find that he has saved NOTHING at all. Is he subconsciously telling m he doesn't want to move to my area?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for coming up to two years and for the past year we've been talking about moving in together. We ruled out me moving to him because it is so much more expensive to live in his area that...
A. 2 August 2013: Hi I agree with many of the people who replied to you, because when it comes to men, they are very straight forward, if they want to do something, they do it without hesitation. If a guy wants to marry a girl, he does. If he wants to buy a s... (read in full...)
My transgender girlfriend has low self esteem. How can I help?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. When we first got together she informed me that at birth she had no sex, she believes that her parents chose the wrong sex. She is attracted to woman, she is more masculine, and does ...
A. 8 April 2012: I find it so heartbreaking to hear that a family who made a decision for that baby to be a boy or a girl, now is unsupportive of that child when they find out that their choice was incorrect.
Honest, non-judgmental expression of her feelings... (read in full...)
Have you ever felt like you're meant to be with someone?
Q. Have any of you ever felt like you are MEANT to be with someone? I'm not a romantic person at all, and i've never believed in soul mates or things like that, but there is this one guy in my life who keeps popping up and each time he does I just feel ...
A. 8 April 2012: It's wonderful that you are experiencing such feelings, but for the time being you do have to put them away and continue being busy with your life and things that you must do.
If the 1st guy truly feels the same for you, you need to give him time... (read in full...)
Why is b/f so terrible about responding only to my messages?
Q. My boyfriend and I use a texting app that shows when the other person has read your message. Many times, he has read them right away but takes very long to respond or doesn't respond at all. On Facebook, I will message him when I notice he is online ...
A. 8 April 2012: just let us know how things turn out.
I'm sure I'm speaking for all of us who answered your question we would love to hear that everything turns out great for you and that it is a language barrier, but we'll support you in case it's not the case... (read in full...)
Living with his parents, watching him watch football -- sometimes it feels like I'm wasting my time
Q. I've been with my bf for over 2 years now and I feel like nothing has changed or moved forward in our relationship we are stuck in a bungalow with his mum and dad and ass hole of a brother and it's starting to take its toll. All my bf is interest...
A. 8 April 2012: you have feelings like that for a reason. If you feel this way in a relationship, think about how you are going to feel if you guys were actually married and filled with all the responsibilities of having a family.
If he is "like talking to a bric... (read in full...)
Why is b/f so terrible about responding only to my messages?
Q. My boyfriend and I use a texting app that shows when the other person has read your message. Many times, he has read them right away but takes very long to respond or doesn't respond at all. On Facebook, I will message him when I notice he is online ...
A. 8 April 2012: Yes, I think it's significant.
You should try to avoid calling or texting him. Do your own thing, pretend you are busy with things and don't have time for him. If he text you or calls you, wait a few hours before returning his call, and always soun... (read in full...)
I can't stop crying, I want my ex back!
Q. I am crazy about my ex. We broke up last May because we were so far apart. Now we live 20minutes away. I've seen him a bit since I moved closer but he only comes around for like a week then disappears again. He has done this too me three times. The ...
A. 8 April 2012: Making someone feel jealous never works. You want the guy to want you because he loves you, not because you make him jealous.
Unfortunately sometimes we need to hurt in order to learn who is the right person to hold on to and who is the wrong pe... (read in full...)
My FWB chose another girl so why does he act jealous?
Q. I'm confused.My best friend is a guy,and we've had a..well..more than friends thing for over a year now.Nothing official,and I guess people would call it friends with benefits.We do act like a couple,and everyone thinks we're together.A couple of ...
A. 8 April 2012: Don't worry about him being moody. Do your own thing, go out with other guys. He does not have a ring on your finger to tell you who to see and who not to see.
Let him be and see what happens.
Sometimes, men can be childish, but I'm thinking cou... (read in full...)
Am I only good enough for him when he is in the mood?
Q. this is going to be one long message with spell errors sorry.. haha and please read and answer oky so there's this boy his name begins with an F so lets call him F. so i've liked F ever since the first day i met him in 2009. (its 2012 now lol) an...
A. 8 April 2012: He only likes you because you let him "get in your pants"
Sorry, but this is not the kind of guy you want to be crazy about.
And for the future, learn how to say no, even when you really want the guy to like you, because when you say no, if h... (read in full...)
He's ignoring me because he doesn't see any future for our relationship
Q. hello.i m a grl of 18.i met a guy on fb.he is of24.i m an indian nd he is pakistani.we were initially good frnds.we chat daily on fb for hours nd hours.after somedays i came to know dat i love him nd cant live widout him.i was on his ...
A. 8 April 2012: I don't think you really need to clear up anything. If a man wants a woman, he goes after her no matter what it takes.
If he doesn't want to do what ever it takes to be with her, than he will never value you the way you are supposed to be valu... (read in full...)
Why does my family have a problem with me dating a family friend?
Q. Hello this is going to be quote long so bare with me, my uncle grew up with his vest friend from being a todler they are still bestfriends now. So obviously my mum knows him and his mum and dad and visa versa. At my uncles wedding his best friend ...
A. 7 April 2012: There might be something that the parents know about his family that you are unaware of and that is the reason why they are against your relationship. Something like: "A bad apple doesn't fall too far from the tree". So in their own way they are ... (read in full...)
A nice girl wants to date me but she doesn't know that I"m gay
Q. Theirs this girl at school that really likes me and she is a awesome person. She likes me a whole lot and wants to date me so bad but there's a problem. I'm gay and I'm not interested and I'm DL gay so that's why girls like me because I'm not a ...
A. 7 April 2012: If you are DL gay and plan to stay this way until you are ready to reveal who you are, you have to keep lying. Because like you said you don't know how she will react and whom she will tell your secret. Girls are not good at keeping secrets like ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: PLEASE RUN RUN RUN.
I'm glad you are asking such a question because obviously his comment touched something in your head, and I think your logic is throwing red flags up, one after another and another, but I'm sure since you like the guy some... (read in full...)
He's ignoring me because he doesn't see any future for our relationship
Q. hello.i m a grl of 18.i met a guy on fb.he is of24.i m an indian nd he is pakistani.we were initially good frnds.we chat daily on fb for hours nd hours.after somedays i came to know dat i love him nd cant live widout him.i was on his ...
A. 7 April 2012: You are experiencing strong feelings for someone you met through typing. You have an idea of him that you built in your head. It happens to all of us when we meet someone on line. But please don't suffer with the thoughts that he is the last man on ... (read in full...)
Does sex hurt a lot?
Q. my bf once told me that girls have a lot of pain while having sex for the first time.is it true? then why is it so? i never had sex. he told that u must be scared of marrying me, and he then told me that it is for just 1st night, other nights will ...
A. 7 April 2012: Please research about sex. Don't let anyone no matter how much you love them pressure you into losing your virginity without knowing all the risks involved - like getting pregnant, or catching sexually transmitted diseases -
You must learn mo... (read in full...)
Should I persist or leave her be?
Q. ThankS for helping me.i have had a crush on a girl in my class and we've been chatting back and forth.she told me the other day that she wouldn't see me anymore since she was dropping the class so I got her number. I texted her and she replied once ...
A. 7 April 2012: Absolutely persist. She may be an old fashioned girl who is waiting for you to pursue her. Skip the texting, call her and invite her out. Do it in advance, because if you call her on friday for a Saturday night date, don't expect her to accept. ... (read in full...)
Lately I've been dreaming about an ex girlfriend, but I'm in a happy relationship. What does this mean?
Q. I've been in a relationship for nearly 6 months now. I love my girlfriend very much, but just recently I've started having dreams about an ex girlfriend. Me and my ex broke up over a year ago and we are very rarely in contact any more. I believe I'm ...
A. 4 April 2012: Personal story - right before I got married, I started having dreams of my ex. In my dream it was as if we got back together. It has been 11 yrs since I saw him last in reality and although we both loved each other back then, we broke up ultimately ... (read in full...)
My affair has gone horribly wrong!
Q. Hi, I'm in a jam. Well I'm married for 17 years and I had an affair for the first time in my marriage, I met this guy at work and fell head over heels for him but I told him from day one that I'm married and I'm not leaving my husband for no one, he ...
A. 4 April 2012: Unfortunately your exlover is unstable, and most likely will not stop harassing you. I agree with the previous post, for your safety and for the safety of others around you, you need to explain who this man is, so that if something happens when he ... (read in full...)
I have no friends!
Q. I recently have realized that I don't have any friends. I had a bunch in 9th grade. Not as many in 10th and now in 11th I have a couple of people who I would classify as my friends. I try really hard I just run out of things to say. And i'm so...
A. 4 April 2012: The best thing you can do is try to stop pushing yourself on other people. The more you want to be someone's friend, the more they will push you away. Try to be independent - which means don't depend on other people to entertain you. Entertain ... (read in full...)
The language of love, is this flirting or just making friends?
Q. Hi, I have a culture-related question about flirting versus making friends. My boyfriend gave out his phone number to 3 girls he said were flirting with him. When I told him I didn't like it he claimed that this is how he makes new friends. Now,...
A. 27 September 2010: I agree. My young adulthood I spent in US (starting from 14) and before that I came from Russia. This is a lame excuse about making new friends. If you respect the woman you are with, you would not give out your phone number to other women who are ... (read in full...)
I'll never be the "wild ride" she had with others!
Q. I just can't get over my girlfriends past. It's not that I have an issue with the fact she's had sexual partners before me, or even that she had great sex with them. It's the fact that those relationships were almost purely sexual, and the sex was ...
A. 25 September 2010: There was a guy I dated who had a very long list of sexual encounters, great wild sex, experienced women... bla bla bla. When we started going out I was freaking out that he would not find me interesting b/c I'm very traditional and really never got ... (read in full...)
How stable are peoples feelings?
Q. I'm wondering how stable most people's (in particular, men's) feelings are. I know everyone is different, but I'm talking in general, or you personally. I ask because if I fall in love, I see it as a long term, stable thing and don't feel the need ...
A. 8 September 2010: Men express their feelings differently than women. We want to hear it with our ears, they mostly afraid to say those things or just not trained to do that, but if they truly love you, you do see it in their actions.
Actions do speak louder t... (read in full...)
What to do when head and heart are telling you different things?
Q. What can you do when your heart and head are in conflict about your relationship? What can you do when your heart is telling you this is the woman of your dreams, someone you completely love and would wait an eternity for, while your head is sta...
A. 8 September 2010: Not if you make her feel secure in that your feelings are pure. I know after your heart has been broken (which sometimes happens after divorces) you are hesitant to open your heart to someone again.
If this is her situation, you need to let her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends family does not like me, what do I do?
Q. I am having the same problem, im 18 and have been with my boyfriend 6 years, since 7th grade. we are deeply in love and happy together. we've had a lot of ups and downs considering the fact that we only have been with eachother. his family for some ...
A. 7 September 2010: I'm in the same boat as you. I'm fighting for the relationship and want him to stand up to his family.
But I think if I don't see that there is any progress, I will probably end the relationship. I'm afraid that even though he loves me, the pres... (read in full...)
What to do when head and heart are telling you different things?
Q. What can you do when your heart and head are in conflict about your relationship? What can you do when your heart is telling you this is the woman of your dreams, someone you completely love and would wait an eternity for, while your head is sta...
A. 7 September 2010: If she treats you with respect, care, friendship and being with her makes you feel good inside, then forget about what Might or Might NOt happen in the future.
All you can do is let her know how you feel about her and ask how she feels about that... (read in full...)
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