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I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 31 January 2016: another Great Article that deserves to be seen from time to time to encourage comments.
Consultation is a great way to improve a site continuously.... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 18 September 2012: I am sending this article to a truly Dear friend today who I know is grieving today. Suicide leaves such a cruel legacy for those left behind.
Today I feel my wonderful Dear friend might benefit from this article.
If you are suffering, havin... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 1 June 2012: Thank you Maverick494 for your very understanding feedback. I truly appreciate your comments. Your post made me very reflectful. And that was, originally all I was going to say. But you inspired me to say more.
Interesting that you observed... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 10 December 2011: Hi Anonymous123 the feeling is mutual.
I know what a wonderful contribution you make to Dear Cupid too. Your really great advice is clearly appreciated by so many.
Best Wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 December 2011: thank you Tisha, for you are amongst the wise people I refer to, when I think of inspiring wise people, who I have inspired me with their wisdom, logic and good commonsense.
Such people include two long term friends, a Nun, and of course my grea... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 3 December 2011: Christmas can be a tough time, for some. Especially the elderly, those far from home, those who have just split with a partner, or just suffered a tragic experience.
Remembering who is not around to share this time with you. The media feed you imag... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas
No I don't believe in retribution nor in Karma.
Because if I did I would have to conclude that the 'plan' was cruel.
And I don't believe in 'everything happens for a reason' for that too would lead me to question what 'reason' cou... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas,
I feel terrible that I did not respond earlier. The first time started to read your response and the second one I was so over-whelmed that one family could have to face so much. And I had to go back twice before I finished reading the ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi Dodds,
I found your response moving too.
Thank you,
Your lovely understanding meant a lot to me,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 5 July 2011: One DC person has made comment about this article. And needing to know more about how the second relationship progressed after losing my first husband and about going from being a widow with a child and how did I handle introducing a new man into my ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 16 December 2010: hi, you are very observant and i think this guy sees impressive components in your character. Wow if only he knew how much thought is being put into analysis of his motivations! I thank you, for your posts.
First, on girls:
He says he does not... (read in full...)
My life with Edward Cullen
Q. So there's this boy that I've been seeing recently, it's been 3 months since mine and my boyfriend's break-up after two and half years, I want to know if this is too soon to move on or if this amount of time is normal? But I would also like some a...
A. 15 December 2010: is it time to let go of this guy? who just wants to keep you on the back burner, there in the background, for when he has the time? Pleased to hear you did some SWOT analysis of your guy to arrive at the +and - of this guy. And you found the nega... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 15 December 2010: I love how richly detailed your posts/follow ups are. It really gives a better sense of the whole situation.
Talking for long hours can build up good feelings, and draw people into a relationship. But meeting face to face is real. Sounds like you ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: now that's what happens when an Aunt is trying to do 2 things at once. Shame on me. Have gone back to re-read your posts again. When i saw mention of Susan, and that he was denying things had occurred(that really had occurred) I thought it ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: There are more important things than caring what this guy thinks.
When a guy demonstrates that he does not respect you, then what he thinks of you is His issue. Not your issue. Because you should not associate with any guy who does not treat you ... (read in full...)
Partner not treating me right while I am pregnant
Q. I am so confused my partner just goes out and say's he is going to do something that really should take a fraction of the time it takes him. I am 6 months pregnant we haven't made love in an age he make no attempt to do so. I have asked to stop ...
A. 13 December 2010: The advice from Perch was great. It is worrying that your man is being so selfish and irresponsible. Potentially abusive in the light of his selfishness and lack of concern for you and the baby.
You will be much more tired for a while, after the ... (read in full...)
My husband and best friend had sex and blame it on the drink!
Q. SO, in need of some advice- my husband, who've I've been for 6 years and have a son with, has slept with my best friend. After a long night of partying she stayed over at our house. My husband, who was totally drunk, decided to go into her bedroom ...
A. 12 December 2010: You have been together for 6 years and you have a son. Plus your husband's other problem is trouble recognising when enough alcohol is enough. Alcohol lowers inibitions, with nasty results, as evidenced by your husband's actions with your best ... (read in full...)
We may need to break up because of his mother!
Q. i have been in a relationship for ten years with my boyfriend. we spent five years together and he travelled for five years. everything was fine until he came back and wanted to see my parents and his parents to announce the relationship. his mother ...
A. 12 December 2010: You first started see this boy when you were 12? Now you are 22 years old. And he's a supposed adult ? Yet his mother rules his life? And he's recently been unfaithful? What a basket full of problems he is generating. Do not allow his problems to be ... (read in full...)
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Q. So there's this boy that I've been seeing recently, it's been 3 months since mine and my boyfriend's break-up after two and half years, I want to know if this is too soon to move on or if this amount of time is normal? But I would also like some a...
A. 12 December 2010: No, it is not normal. When a guy really likes you he wants to spend as much time as possible with you. He wants to know everything about you.
This guy is not into you. He's stringing you along.
Nice guys keep their promises. When they say they... (read in full...)
My girlfriend ends up kissing her best friend whenever we're on a break!
Q. please i need your opinions , every single one possible , i just do not get what my girlfriend means when she tells me she always had feelings for her best male friend ?.. i know that they kissed and done stuff together but i dont know what to think...
A. 12 December 2010: tell her to choose now. She is either with you or not. If you want to give her one more chance then do so. But you need to say what you mean, and mean what you say. She is mucking you around and it cannot continue. It's too upsetting.
Tell her ... (read in full...)
How is this possible?
Q. my friend is hiv positive and pregnant but her husband is hiv negative how is it possible?...
A. 12 December 2010: People should not be so quick to allege that this poor woman was ever unfaithful to her husband. Such utter nonsense in many instances. And they demonstrate they do not fully realise how many ways that HIV can be contracted. If she gave assista... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my boyfriend is cheating on me!
Q. I love my boyfriend so much, that i would do almost anything for him. I love him and i tell him that i love him every night. He says he loves me too but i am convinced he is cheating. Well it started like this... I went on our shared laptop an...
A. 12 December 2010: Your boyfriend was disrespectful in the way he spoke to you. Verbal abuse is one step away from physical abuse. And he has been cheating on you. Agony Aunt KeighleySky is right on the mark, your bf feels guilty at what he's done to you. And I agr... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 12 December 2010: Thank you C Grant (love the photo! Well chosen Avatar). You made my day on seeing you post. Your comments very much appreciate, regards Abella... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat with women who are not as attractive / accomplished / affectionate as their partners?
Q. Why do (guy) cheaters cheat with women who are usually not as attractive, as accomplished or usually not as affectionate? ...
A. 12 December 2010: Men who cheat often have a lovely capable and attractive wife at home. And men could never cheat as easily if more women said no to them. Sadly so many women delude themselves that the man will leave his wife, when he has NO intention of ever doing ... (read in full...)
As a journalist, why do I keep dating/meeting men in the science field?
Q. I'm a proud college graduate with nearly two years of dating experience. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism and the college men I've met, have been in the science/math fields. I don't have a problem it, but I keep attracting men in those ...
A. 12 December 2010: I chuckled at your response, please forgive me, but most journalists i know spend so much time researching the story, setting up the interviews, keeping up with all their contacts, writing, editing etc that they seem to gravitate to camera operators ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Is he ashamed of me?
Q. im 14 and me and this guy have known each other since we started high school and we stared goin out recently and we were out today with all our m8s and theres this 1 boy and he saw us kissin and he called me a s**g and my bf walked away from me an ...
A. 12 December 2010: The insulting boy was rude and disrespectful. A cave man might have fought the other boy for insulting his partner. But that is a Neanderthal response. And your BF was smart to avoid that response and that trouble.
And you can be certain that the ... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
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Kids need protection from predatory adults. Even if they are too young to recognise a predatory adult. There was a teacher i reca... (read in full...)
How can I win back my ex girlfriend
Q. How do you get the attention of your x girlfriend when you want to win her back...
A. 11 December 2010: just read your follow up. How hurtful that she cannot/will not wait for you to complete your studies. Will you complete your studies in your country or in another country? If the latter, i can partly understand that you would be separated by ... (read in full...)
My ex says I'm selfish because I can't be his friend
Q. My exbf called me a selfish cunt tonight because I don't want to hang out with him or his friend until it won't bother me that he is going out with a girl her met at his job.he thinks i should be over it by now but how can he when everytime we run ...
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Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 11 December 2010: thank you for your lovely feedback.
I really hope this guy gets his act together. Real soon. And stops his negative talk. If he stays this indecisive all his life he's going to miss out on a lot of joy. Feel free to text the above verbatim to him.... (read in full...)
Why all the fighting over Facebook??
Q. Here's my situation... I met a man online, through a dating site and we hit it off from the first date. Mutual attraction and chemistry, and it just felt so good at the beginning. We decided to get off of the dating site, but he wanted to be fri...
A. 11 December 2010: i think this guy is a 3 year old kid masquerading as a 39 year old. He's a waste of time in every respect. For your own sake find a real man who doesn't play juvenile games. You are more worthy, and more deserving of better, than this guy. Even kids ... (read in full...)
Just found out my friend is going out with my ex!!! What should I do?
Q. I had a nice relationship with this girl but later we split up because she did a lot of things to hurt me including kissing another guy in front of me. After about a year of having moved out of town because of school, i came back and was hoping t...
A. 11 December 2010: It is upsetting that a relationship that meant something to you did not mean as much to her, in the long run.
It hurts so much when a person we really like does not feel the same way.
And yes a pang of hurt can be felt in our heart when we see some... (read in full...)
Why is he being so complicated and difficult about everything??
Q. ok so about a week ago my bf and i decided to break up. lately ive been just being nice to him. before we started going out we were pretty good friends. but today i tried to be friendly to him and it totally blew up in my face. i tried to get us to ...
A. 11 December 2010: You sound more more mature and much nicer than this guy. Running off and being silly was not very nice to you, especially after you invited him over.
It is a hard horrible lesson, but boys must always be judged on their actions, not their word... (read in full...)
My mother seems to not want me to move on
Q. I am 26 years old; still living at home..paying off loans, helping my parents and also not really making enough to be able to afford it My father is actually the more laid back, practical one..he doesn't question me really if i am going out..he wi...
A. 11 December 2010: Time you took charge of your life. Time to cut the aprong strings if your mother refuses to loosen them. Success for a parent is not to bring a child into the world, only to keep them dependant on the parent for the rest of the life of their ... (read in full...)
Broke up with a girl but realized she's the one
Q. A relationship ended about 1.5 years ago by my hand. I made up reasons in my head to leave, none of which had any significant basis. Poor decision? Absolutely. What was I thinking? I have no idea. She goes on to date another guy, and I go on...
A. 11 December 2010: Speak up as soon as you feel able and tell her you erred in breaking up. And tell her all you love about her. And how much you miss her. Suggest a time to see her. If she is reluctant back off a little, but let her know how much you would welcome ... (read in full...)
How to turn this friendship in a relationship?
Q. Me and this guy met at work aboyt 7/8 months ago. We got to know eachother, then one night about a 1 1/2 months ago we made out. we have hung out a few times. He recetnly moved about 2.5 hours away. Once he was settled he invited me up and I went ...
A. 11 December 2010: I think there is a spark between the two of you. In this instance you don't have to wait for him to call, if you have not yet phoned him yet to tell him how much you enjoyed the visit.
If it came to pass that you did enter into an ingoing rela... (read in full...)
I know I like him, but does he like me back
Q. MODERATOR'S NOTE: Two questions combined. hi guys and gals! i have a major problem. i am a girl and i am not like most girls are. You know likes: jewelry, make up, dresses, etc. I am more of a tomboy and most of my friends were boys and to...
A. 11 December 2010: How old was he when he said that? He may have been shocked at you declaring your interest in him, but not mature enough to give you a coherent reply. Better indicators of a boy liking you is him always looking at you. Wanting ti be helpful to you. ... (read in full...)
How can I win back my ex girlfriend
Q. How do you get the attention of your x girlfriend when you want to win her back...
A. 11 December 2010: What do you most love about your girl friend? Make a list of all the things you especially remember about your girlfriend that you especially liked. Write her a letter telling her everything you love about her. And tell her how much you miss her. ... (read in full...)
It's been 2 days since I last received an email from him.
Q. Dated this guy for 2.5 years. We broke up in Oct due to trust issue on both part. Last week he email me after no contact. Simple emaisl back and forth for 2 days. I told him I was getting help for my issues and he said the same. I told him that we ...
A. 11 December 2010: give him another week or better still two. Don't smother him. Must have taken him courage to contact you. But you want him back entirely because you both want it very much. You do. He needs to show you and reassure he really does too. Because ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't have herpes, but I want to see some proof!
Q. he admitted that he slept with a woman who had herpes in the past. that was before he met me. we have not had sex yet. he doesn't want to get tested i am not going to have sex with him. it's a pity because otherwise he is a good man. he says he ...
A. 11 December 2010: good move on your part. Once someone contracts herpes they always have it for all time. Though the attacks may lessen and he may have no symptons. If it is in his blood he will always have it. But if he has no visible sores he is not going to infect ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my father about my step-sibling rivalry just in time for Christmas?
Q. I'm 20 years old and for the past year or so, I have felt distance between my dad and because he has another child with my step mum, I feel that there is a sibling rivalry with my "half sister" and that she fights for my dad's attention whenever I ...
A. 11 December 2010: Definitely have a talk with him. He has asked you, so he does want you to come over. Tell him you miss spending time with him, but ask if some of the visit can allow scheduling of some time alone, with just the two of you go out somewhere maybe for ... (read in full...)
There is nothing to run to..... You only have you.......
Q. This really isn't a question but more of a revelation more of a what not to do... I was put on this earth as we all were some with more gifts than others some smart, some wealthy, some pretty or handsome so many gifts we can start life with.... all ...
A. 11 December 2010: be kind to yourself every day. Make sure every day you do one good thing for you, that helps you, and and you will know that one person who truly deserved to be treated well, received othat good treatment. It can be buying yourself a bunch of ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 10 December 2010: hi Andrew, Fascinating site. Thx for creating it. Read some really early replies to your really early requests. One stood out: the need to better explain the rating system. Some people rate very high for a while but then their rating number starts ... (read in full...)
How to know that a guy likes you, but is hiding it?
Q. how to know that a guy likes you but hiding it. we study in same class at same tiution.he always helps me in bad times when no one helps me.he teases me alot playfully not seriously.sometimes he tries to sit next to me but sometimes he sit...
A. 10 December 2010: He's not hiding his affection for you. Yes, he definitely likes you. Ask his advice on things. Do smile at him. Where do you usually have lunch? Do you bring it with you from home or buy it? Whatever options you prefer, suggest you spend lunch ... (read in full...)
Are there any sure signs that a guy is a sex addict?
Q. One of my guy friends is VERY flirty. We used to be FWB a few years back. He has a reputation of being a "dog". The thing is, even though we no longer sleep together, everytime i see him he always finds an excuse to touch me. He never shuts up a...
A. 9 December 2010: thank you for the follow up. Puts this guy into an entirely different category. Now i know he has a girlfriend but is also asking other women for it i revise my answer to: He's a player. He likes the chase. Very poor ''boyfriend'' material. Though I ... (read in full...)
Disappointed because I have problems with maintaining an erection!
Q. I am a 66 year old guy still good looking to some extend and I still feel strong attraction towards the opposite sex and love to be around with women, and I am still able to walk up and strike a conversation with them and I think I have enough charm ...
A. 9 December 2010: Be pleased your sex drive is definitely still intact above the eyebrows, the desire is there. And be pleased you do get an erection. For some men that is half the battle. And although I'm sure you could pleasure a woman with lots of foreplay, it's ... (read in full...)
Are there any sure signs that a guy is a sex addict?
Q. One of my guy friends is VERY flirty. We used to be FWB a few years back. He has a reputation of being a "dog". The thing is, even though we no longer sleep together, everytime i see him he always finds an excuse to touch me. He never shuts up a...
A. 9 December 2010: He's tactile and remembers you, is that a good sign for you? Do you still desire him? Tell him how you feel. Or maybe he really loves women, all women. And touches every woman he meets. Maybe he loves connecting with woman, has a high sex drives, ... (read in full...)
I want to tell him what makes me hot, but how?
Q. How do I explain to the guy I'm dating my favorite way of getting my nipples hard? I have large breasts (34ddd) so guys usually love them, and this guy is no exception (although I am quite small other than my breasts and feel a little imbalanced ...
A. 9 December 2010: Casually bring up the subject, by commenting ''I just printed this out from the internet. This sounds good to me. Can we try it?'' and hand him a print out of your question. When he does it for you go into superlatives and major praise when he ... (read in full...)
Who has the greater chance of being the dad?
Q. i am 18 and 27 weeks pregnant, there is a doubt that my boyfriend can be the father of my baby because i cheated on him with another guy. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend a few days before receiving my next period, but this period was shorter ...
A. 9 December 2010: your very light period is a slight confusion in all this. You say you are irregular in anycase. It may not have been a period. Was it just a break through bleed, indicating you had just ovulated? Just a short time after you had intercourse with ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with her or not?
Q. I have known this girl for almost my entire life and we are the best of friends. She is the type of girl that flaunts around and has had many boyfriends before. well recently i thought that maybe i could try to be with her and she said yes. so we st...
A. 9 December 2010: She has not said she loves you. And she displays very low self esteem that she would bad mouth herself so horribly. But at the moment she needs someone. And you are the most reliable person she knows. She has not said the child is yours. And after ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much after 14 years together?
Q. hi, i would be grateful of some advice about the situation i am in pls, my b/f and i have been on and off for 14 years he lives with his mum and works full time i am living in a house with our daughter who is 13 i am 31 he is 33. the relationship ...
A. 9 December 2010: Does the word ''deadbeat dad'' resonate? Your daughter has a father who does not want to be a father nor a responsible man. That must really hurt her. Your child's father and your bf does not want to take responsibilty for anything. Just wants to ... (read in full...)
Family won't accept him because of race
Q. Okay i dont know what to do! I have a great boyfriend! But my family wont accept him because of race, i have just been made redundant now i dont know wether to move closer to where my bf lives wich is 2hrs away and get a job there, but my family ...
A. 9 December 2010: If you are really certain he will love, cherish, support and care for you, once you join him?
If yes then give it a try.
Racism has no place in todays world
youy are old enough to leave home. Do it in a calm respectful way. Quietly pack your th... (read in full...)
13 year old son sexting. What should his punishment be?
Q. Just caught my 13 year old sexting with a girl in his class. They sent each other pictures of each other and everything. Not sure what his punishment should be. His phone was taken indefinitely. Not sure what else I should do. What do u all think?...
A. 9 December 2010: internet access has to be banned too. And straight home from school. No dropping into the internet cafe. Get him doing regular chores at home, without complaint. Make time for one on one info/discussion/counselling sessions with him so he can ... (read in full...)
I like this guy but I'm not "out" and I don't know what to do
Q. i need help, idk what to do. i hate this because i am starting to like this on person i feel like im gay but idk he soo sweet cute caring and idk what to do im afreid because im not out and sometime it scares me because no one knows. please he...
A. 9 December 2010: maybe you are, maybe you are not. You are too young to go out to clubs and mix with older guys. Could you join a gym and work out? There are always gay guys at my gym. Say hi, be friendly and be willing to talk. And maybe they will understand that ... (read in full...)
Has he always felt disgusted by my past and my son's ethnic origin? Or is it just an excuse to dump me?
Q. My boyfriend is a bit older than me, we've been together for about 18months. I have a son from a previous relationship who is 5 years old, he idolizes my bf and I thought the feeling was mutual until just recently. We have been having a lot of ...
A. 8 December 2010: I think you find a much nicer man than this. He's cruel and he's looking for excuses to drop you. ... (read in full...)
If he wants to spend holidays with them, don't expect me to tag along!
Q. I have been dating "josh" for a year now. We get along really well, have a loving relationship, and it is very obvious that we both care about each other very much. There is one problem, he is friends with a group of people that i don't get alon...
A. 8 December 2010: i think he should stand up for you more than he is.
That anniversary dinner was more important to your shared relationship than meeting up with the ex's crowd. His ex sounds a very miserable bitchy girl. Consider an assertiveness training sess... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 5 December 2010: I do not think he has matured enough for a long term full relationship,yet. But i do think he has a fantasy about doing so, with you.
Your Emotional Intelligence is far higher than his. In the immediate future he definitely does see you as a pote... (read in full...)
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