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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Is it for the thrill of it all?
Q. Hi Aunts, I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wr...
A. 21 July 2012: It is difficult to determine why like him (and you)behave the way they do. It's a dirty game so there are no rules. There are two people doing creepy things and the only one who deserves an explination is the wife. He told his wife to pick you ... (read in full...)
Is it for the thrill of it all?
Q. Hi Aunts, I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wr...
A. 21 July 2012: It is difficult to determine why like him (and you)behave the way they do. It's a dirty game so there are no rules. There are two people doing creepy things and the only one who deserves an explination is the wife. He told his wife to pick you ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend want to have sex with me because he got turned on by the other girl?
Q. I have been with this guy for 3 years. He is really good about not staring at women, or at least when I am with him. But the other night when he came in from work he was flirting around with me and he said something about picking out some sexy ...
A. 14 July 2012: Current partners should never have to pay a penalty for the sins of a past partner. We should not punish our partners for things they didn't even or might never do.... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend want to have sex with me because he got turned on by the other girl?
Q. I have been with this guy for 3 years. He is really good about not staring at women, or at least when I am with him. But the other night when he came in from work he was flirting around with me and he said something about picking out some sexy ...
A. 13 July 2012: First, to the answer provided to YouWish, the compariosn you made about advertizing is great.
To the person who asked the question, I do think you're over reacting. Let's assume you are very attractive. Do you think youare the only attracti... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm insecure. Why does it bother me so much that other guys check her out?
Q. Well, where do I start? I have been dating my fiancé for 2 ½ years. Our relationships have grown and are getting married next year. Here’s the issue (s)..when we are out and are drinking, she becomes “flirty” and “wanders”. What I mean by wa...
A. 12 July 2012: What is your idea of her innapropriate behaviour?... (read in full...)
I need help with my marriage, I can't stand the fact she was talking with someone else!
Q. Ok I need help on what to do with my wife. I just recently found out my wife was talking to an old friend for 2months (I checked the phone records) it started off as text messages such as questions like how you doing or how was your day etc.... ...
A. 4 July 2012: Why did you neglect your wife for three years? Try to look at this in the big picture. She did look forward to his attention. That will not change. You might try to understand why and be thankful it stopped when it did. We are attracted to ... (read in full...)
What does a houswife do?
Q. I am 41 and have been a housewife my entire married life which started at 16. I have no job skills, no money and the economy is so bad that I can't find a job anywhere. There is no sex, touching of any kind or closeness in my marriage and there ...
A. 3 July 2012: Are you still interested in a life with your husband? Are you depressed? Is the relationship capable of being repaired. Sometimes it's important to look at the issues separately. Is it possible you could be happy in the marriage if you had a job ... (read in full...)
Trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage. Everybody loves my husband except me.
Q. I have been married for many years and I have children. I have fallen in love with another man and the other man feels the same way about me. How do you make the choice to leave your marriage? I am not happy with my husband. I keep hearing everyone ...
A. 28 January 2012: As long as there is another man you can't focus on the marriage. Have you been having sex with the otjer guy? you are wasting your husbands time. You bailed out of the marriage long ago/ ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 27 January 2012: Good luck to the OP. I hope you can find common ground with your husband. Relationships go through stages and if we lose focus we can lose the relationship. We all have our ideas of what is most important. Finding that balance is answer. Men ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 27 January 2012: This debate cold go on forever. The OP didn't say the husband wouldn't go to a therapist, she said she "doubted" it.
If he gave more kisses and cuddled more often maybe the sex would come. Well. it's also possible if the sex was there more oft... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 26 January 2012: I think the original poster loves her husband. I think he probably loves her. I think they're in a bit of a rut for the moment. He needs to realize he's not going to get all he wants and she needs to figure out what might motivate her a little ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 26 January 2012: So Very Confused, you sound so bitter. You boast that you've had many husbands.....maybe that is a sign. Marriage is about work and negotiation, not fighting and divorce. As far as being clean...what is that about. Why be angry? Be happy and ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 25 January 2012: I'm afraid most people are missing something here. The husband is being called selfish and lazy. Where does it say he does NOT help at home? People are also saying he should do this and that to make the problem better. If I'm reading this right, ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 25 January 2012: Everyone has painted a picture of the husband as a selfish ogre. We know nothing about him and it's possible he works as hard as his wife. She has listed lots of reasons why she doesn't want sex. What is she doing about it? Is it not possible ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with her past that is the opposite of my views? I know she's changed but the images are out there!
Q. [Mod note: please note that the poster is 22 years of age, not 32. The poster should consider starting a new account so this doesn't create confusion later.]] So, I'm a 22 year old guy beginning a new relationship with a girl. I'm not one to jump...
A. 25 January 2012: No matter what she did, it can't be undone. Does she feel bad and haave regrets or does she feel bad becasue you\re making her have regrets. In other words, if you didn't bring it up, would she? Fell free to ask her if she would do these things ... (read in full...)
My wife says I should be satisfied with sex once a week or less. I'm not happy. what can I do about this?
Q. My wife only wants sex once a week or less this has made me so mad angry and upset most of the time I cant handle this lifestyle she has a low sex drive. I'm very sexed up every day I masturbate and need sex... Wife says she will never change onc...
A. 24 January 2012: I'd like to add something. I see many aunts makin assumptions that this guy doesn't love or treat his wife well. Maybe he does and she makes no effort. We don't know that. Don't forget, HE wrote the question. At least he's trying to deal with ... (read in full...)
My wife says I should be satisfied with sex once a week or less. I'm not happy. what can I do about this?
Q. My wife only wants sex once a week or less this has made me so mad angry and upset most of the time I cant handle this lifestyle she has a low sex drive. I'm very sexed up every day I masturbate and need sex... Wife says she will never change onc...
A. 24 January 2012: Nobody is a sex object. Sex is supposed to be part of the deal. Things do change but they also need to be maintained. Nobody is trashing women. This is a chicken or the egg scenario. The reality in my opinion is this, the woman decides when the ... (read in full...)
My wife says I should be satisfied with sex once a week or less. I'm not happy. what can I do about this?
Q. My wife only wants sex once a week or less this has made me so mad angry and upset most of the time I cant handle this lifestyle she has a low sex drive. I'm very sexed up every day I masturbate and need sex... Wife says she will never change onc...
A. 23 January 2012: I see this as a power struggle. I'm reading posts that refer to women "giving" men sex. That indicates that females are the ones in control. I happen to think that is true. That in itself can lead to problems. Women have the power to dole out ... (read in full...)
My fiance is beginning to feel unattractive because I don't want sex often, is there something wrong with me?
Q. I'm a 22 year old college student and I never want sex. I have a wonderful fiance who is starting to feel unattractive because of how little I want/need sex. :( When we do have sex, it's amazing, so I'm thinking the issue is on my part. Is there ...
A. 8 November 2011: I guess it is what it is. If you never want sex with him then there is no sexual attraction. I guess if the sex is amazing when you have it perhaps you could make an effort. I have been in this position before and it can build resentment on his ... (read in full...)
Men - indifferent or very interested in being found attractive by the other sex?
Q. A question really for guys I guess, but I don't mind women answering - my friend and I are debating whether, if you know a guy say, through friends or somewhere like work and you don't see them that often but are friendly and would, for example, ...
A. 6 November 2011: I think everyone likes to feel they are attractive. I know I like it when a woman is interested in me. My wife is different, she is a 10. She is one of those women that turns heads and other women often feel threatened by her looks.(she happens ... (read in full...)
Is my sister taking advantage of my late cousin's husband? Is it OK for them to date just one year after my cousin passing?
Q. My cousin died of cancer one year ago at the age of 46. She was married for 14 years to a wonderful man (whom I will call "Bill"). They decided not to have kids because she was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of their marriage, but were ...
A. 6 November 2011: Bill is happy, your sister is happy........do you want them to split up so they can be unhappy like you? I got engaged after knowing my wife for 2 or three months and we've been married 25 years. Many people thought that was crazy. I'm glad I ... (read in full...)
I'm still attracted to him and want to resume the affair. But how do I handle the fact that he also wants me to tell my husband who is really the father of our child?
Q. I had an affair with a man who is a friend of an old fling of mine from the past. Plus he’s now married. He was from my home back in One state, and I had moved to another state. We bumped into each other one evening while he was having drinks with...
A. 6 November 2011: It's very noble to say that as far as you're concerned your husband is the father. It's not true though and you still want this to continue? You need help to solve this and you won't get it from an affair. Can you not understand the damage that ... (read in full...)
FWB: do any of you think that we will ever be together properly? Or am I wasting my time?
Q. Hi everyone this is my situation I have been in a fwb sort of situation for about 8 months now. Naturally I want more than this. So to find out how he really felt about me I made him jealous he came around one morning and I told him I had a date comi...
A. 6 November 2011: Why do you two have to wait unti the new year. Des that mean the relationship is important, just not until January 2011?... (read in full...)
Does she really want to stay "just friends"?
Q. I have an very strong relationship with someone who insists she wants to remain "just friends" for fear of ruining our relationship.She often says and does things that make me think she wants more,including masturbating in front of me when we are ...
A. 12 October 2011: Oh I get it. She's not a lesbian she's a vagatarian. Come one, I'd say by definition she's on the gay side of the scale. She is a woman having sex with another woman. Masturbating on the cammera, kinky, exhibitionist? She doesn't seem like she ... (read in full...)
Wife is having an emotional affair
Q. HI and thanks for your time, I have been married 30 years my wife is 52 and is really hot. Two years ago there was an "incident" with one of my sons 23 year old friends. No sex act but touching. Well I said knock it off (and shook him) and it all ...
A. 10 October 2011: What do you mean when you say there was "touching"?
What are some examples of their texts?
How and when do thry see eachother?... (read in full...)
How to stop being jealous of husband's female friend?
Q. This is a short question: How do I get passed being angry and jealous of my husband having a picture of his female friend in her underware? How do I forgive him when he assures me she didn't give him the picture, and it was supposed to be f...
A. 8 October 2011: I think you are connecting what you consider to be inappropriate behaviour as well as the potential opportunity close by.
Do you accept the concept your husband might find another female attractive?
Do you accept that men process this inf... (read in full...)
Love my job, but! Married Boss is badgering me to have an affair. What's the best realistic thing to do in this situation?
Q. I have been at my job for about a 18 months. about 6 months ago, my married boss started badgering me for sex. I emphatically told him I wasnt interested because he had a wife. plus he is not my type-- although i couldnt say that to his face beca...
A. 7 October 2011: Document, like everyone says. You need to make the first line in the sand with documentation to back it up. Once you do that, there is nothing he can do to threaten your job and should he try, it could cost him a lot of money.... (read in full...)
How to stop being jealous of husband's female friend?
Q. This is a short question: How do I get passed being angry and jealous of my husband having a picture of his female friend in her underware? How do I forgive him when he assures me she didn't give him the picture, and it was supposed to be f...
A. 7 October 2011: You may be jealous but you have some amount of reason to be. On the other hand, it was a photo shopped altered photo made to be funny. It sounds like perhaps you're a little insecure about this particular event. Let's say this never happened, do ... (read in full...)
Guys, don't you feel it if a woman wants you? or you just give it a try anyway and try your luck?
Q. This is what I want to ask you guys and girls, but mostly guys: can you tell when you have a chance with a woman even for just that night, or are just men absolutely oblivious to the signs and you guys need to be told straight forward yes or no? ...
A. 7 October 2011: I answered this morning before work but I didn't get a chance to finish...I've picked a few lines you said and I'd like to comment.
"Doesn't he knows his place and what kind of women he is able to get?"
Wow, that says a lot. There are lots o... (read in full...)
Guys, don't you feel it if a woman wants you? or you just give it a try anyway and try your luck?
Q. This is what I want to ask you guys and girls, but mostly guys: can you tell when you have a chance with a woman even for just that night, or are just men absolutely oblivious to the signs and you guys need to be told straight forward yes or no? ...
A. 7 October 2011: Sometimes it's obvious and sometimes it's not.
If a woman is just being nice and having a good time, how does a guy know? Would you have been angry with the guy in Italy to have made that assumption? All he knew is you appeared to be enjoying... (read in full...)
Why are so many people homophobic? Is it fair to hate someone for something which they have no control?
Q. I was at work today and two male coworkers came in to install new lights. I was alone. I'm a lesbian and i haven't disclosed that to anyone at my job. And I look very feminine. These guys also think I have a boyfriend, I guess bc an attractive smart ...
A. 5 October 2011: The reason some people are critical of homosexuals is because it is not what many people would consider to be "proper" or "moral". They most likely have no personal reason to behave that way but they think it is "the thing to say". It's the same ... (read in full...)
Why are so many people homophobic? Is it fair to hate someone for something which they have no control?
Q. I was at work today and two male coworkers came in to install new lights. I was alone. I'm a lesbian and i haven't disclosed that to anyone at my job. And I look very feminine. These guys also think I have a boyfriend, I guess bc an attractive smart ...
A. 5 October 2011: I'm not sure they're hugging you to feel your softness or lusting your body. Why do you hug them or allow yourself to be hugged by them. As far as being homophobic, those people are all over. I'm not sure they're homophobic, fearing homosexuals, ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with feeling so Betrayed? My husband told family intimate details of our sex life.
Q. My husband recently told my family that I let him try anal sex. This was really rude, disrespectful, and certainly uncalled for on my part. I am really upset that he felt it was 'ok' to share this private and personal information with my family of a...
A. 2 October 2011: Hoe did he say this? What was the context and how did the conversation start? Which family members were there and how did they react? I'm just curious about how this cam up, not trying to justify his actions,
Say nothing to anyone. They all... (read in full...)
Do you think she is cheating or will do so soon?
Q. New situation, only a week old. Need some other minds to consider my reality, as I lack hard evidence (you may disagree) or objectivity to say what is up. Background - In early 2010, I took on a new assignment that had me flying out of state onc...
A. 2 October 2011: I got a little confused when you jumped from reading bills to talking about a guy at a strip club. This is not the guy she used to work with is it? If not, who is he and how did he come into the picture. I know he is the father of your daughters ... (read in full...)
Do you think she is cheating or will do so soon?
Q. New situation, only a week old. Need some other minds to consider my reality, as I lack hard evidence (you may disagree) or objectivity to say what is up. Background - In early 2010, I took on a new assignment that had me flying out of state onc...
A. 2 October 2011: I got a little confused when you jumped from reading bills to talking about a guy at a strip club. This is not the guy she used to work with is it? If not, who is he and how did he come into the picture. I know he is the father of your daughters ... (read in full...)
I want my lover to stop seeing everyone but me!
Q. 15 years ago i had an affair with a married man, it lasted over 3 years and he was the love of my life. it finished when i discovered he was cheating with other women too. i have been in a relationship for 8 years but my partner is always very moo...
A. 2 October 2011: What a nasty way to proceed. You need to deal with and settle your problems before you start new ones. What a mess. Why shouldn't he see somone else, you do.... (read in full...)
Does Size Make The Man?
Q. I’d like to first thank Tennisstar88 for giving me the idea to write this article. Even though this is a sensitive topic to most men, my hope is someone will benefit from reading it. Enjoy! ------...
A. 2 October 2011: I once read the following.....if men knew how infrequently women thought about their partners penis size they would be disappointed.... (read in full...)
Do we tell the parents of my son's girlfriend that we walked in on them having oral sex?
Q. My husband and I walked in on my 17 year old son performing oral sex on his girl friend who is 16. My husband and I disagree on what we should do. I think that we should call her parents and tell them what happened. My husband on the other hand said ...
A. 1 October 2011: I have kids 22 and 19. It is safe to say that most young people are going to experiment sexually to some extent. Her parents might have the same assumption. What are you hoping to accomplish by informing them of this? Are you surprized by what ... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 1 October 2011: I didn't imply she had sex before. What I said was this....if she's never had sex before she wouldn't know the difference. If someone had a six inch object and stuck it in my ear, or another oriface, I wouldn't know if it was inserted 1/4,1/3,1/2 ... (read in full...)
Triangle of lies!
Q. I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...
A. 30 September 2011: Sorry about all the spelling mistakes in my previous post. I wanted to reply and I was in a hurry. Telling our husband, or not, is your choice. Some people would say not to do that and others would say that is the thing to do. Good luck. Ehat ... (read in full...)
Triangle of lies!
Q. I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...
A. 30 September 2011: Sorry about all the spelling mistakes in my previous post. I wanted to reply and I was in a hurry. Telling our husband, or not, is your choice. Some people would say not to do that and others would say that is the thing to do. Good luck. Ehat ... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: I'm not sure there's any blame here. Permission to insert a penis a bit of the way??? When does it become consentual? 3/4, 4/5, 7/8 of the way in. how much is a bit?
If she had never had sex before, how did she know the difference? I believe ... (read in full...)
Triangle of lies!
Q. I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...
A. 29 September 2011: You have to getn the word FRIEND out of the picture. You have had sex and that change everything. You mention female friends who ended up being not trustworthy and back stabbers.....that is what you're doing with this guy. I'm trying to point out ... (read in full...)
Triangle of lies!
Q. I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...
A. 28 September 2011: This other guy is not a friend. Friends don't have sex. It sounds like you were both flirting and sharing too much personal information. This is the text book lead up to an affair. It's two people getting satisfaction from a person other than a ... (read in full...)
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