Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 16 December 2010: hi, you are very observant and i think this guy sees impressive components in your character. Wow if only he knew how much thought is being put into analysis of his motivations! I thank you, for your posts.
First, on girls:
He says he does not... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 15 December 2010: I love how richly detailed your posts/follow ups are. It really gives a better sense of the whole situation.
Talking for long hours can build up good feelings, and draw people into a relationship. But meeting face to face is real. Sounds like you ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: now that's what happens when an Aunt is trying to do 2 things at once. Shame on me. Have gone back to re-read your posts again. When i saw mention of Susan, and that he was denying things had occurred(that really had occurred) I thought it ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: There are more important things than caring what this guy thinks.
When a guy demonstrates that he does not respect you, then what he thinks of you is His issue. Not your issue. Because you should not associate with any guy who does not treat you ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 11 December 2010: thank you for your lovely feedback.
I really hope this guy gets his act together. Real soon. And stops his negative talk. If he stays this indecisive all his life he's going to miss out on a lot of joy. Feel free to text the above verbatim to him.... (read in full...)
If he wants to spend holidays with them, don't expect me to tag along!
Q. I have been dating "josh" for a year now. We get along really well, have a loving relationship, and it is very obvious that we both care about each other very much. There is one problem, he is friends with a group of people that i don't get alon...
A. 8 December 2010: i think he should stand up for you more than he is.
That anniversary dinner was more important to your shared relationship than meeting up with the ex's crowd. His ex sounds a very miserable bitchy girl. Consider an assertiveness training sess... (read in full...)
Should I get even with my ex?
Q. Hi , Here's a question for all you guys and girls. Whats the best way of revenge on an ex. My girlfriend of two years who I was extremely loyal and faithful to had an affair with two different guys. I don't mean just sex ... she was in an emotio...
A. 8 December 2010: I bet you look pretty good now. And somewhere out there a great girl is waiting for you.
However don't waste time on revenge, for it will eat you up.
Take the high road. Think about how you can improve your career prospects. Improve your mind wit... (read in full...)
I know I have made mistakes, I'm not perfect but neither is he! What can I do to save this relationship?
Q. Well im new to this but here it goes im 15 years old.Im in a long distance relationship I've been going out with him for a year and four months now.We meet by a prank call random i know but when we meet we hit it off and fell crazy in love with ...
A. 8 December 2010: no one could read all that without sensing your deep pain. Please see a Doctor immediately, because you are under too big a burden of sadness and pressure for all that has happened. Talk to the Doctor about how deep your sadness is. The Doctor will ... (read in full...)
How do I convince people we're just friends, or at least stop the name calling?
Q. My best friend is a guy[since I don't get along well with girls] and we've been hanging out a lot[not alone, with our other friends] but in my school and in his, people have been saying we're together. Since I already have a boyfriend,but he lives...
A. 7 December 2010: there is a beautiful saying that Oprah Winfrey said, which applies: ''what other people think of you is none of your business, that's their problem''. Now although I believe that, and it sounds great, I can still see that ignorant people in your ... (read in full...)
He says I am always picking fights - is this true?
Q. My boyfriend states that i am always picking fights with him... I wanted to know if i actually am. I am currently unemployed and i've been going for job interviews...of late there was one extremely good offer where i made it to the final rou...
A. 7 December 2010: sometimes we might think we are not complaining, but really we are in our non-verbal body language . When one person loves another they get to know every nuance, every gesture of body language. People are pretty quick to pick up every little ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you?
Q. What is the underlying meaning of "He doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you?"...
A. 7 December 2010: it means he does not like the girl anymore. But he's mean and selfish too. He wants her to have no joy and happiness with anyone else either. In the extreme such a nasty man can be very dangerous. Such as the sick men who disfigure a girl they no ... (read in full...)
He says I am always picking fights - is this true?
Q. My boyfriend states that i am always picking fights with him... I wanted to know if i actually am. I am currently unemployed and i've been going for job interviews...of late there was one extremely good offer where i made it to the final rou...
A. 7 December 2010: there seems to be a mis match between his expectations and your expectations. You have your ways of reacting, and maybe a tiny bit more empathy on your part would calm things down. We are responsible for what we do and say. No one else HAS to look ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken here! How do I get over what happend to us?
Q. Well this is going to be long. So plz take the time to read cuz I need some serious help. And be open minded its a complicated situation and last time I posted about it I acually had someone laugh in my face. So if u could plz not laugh about it and ...
A. 7 December 2010: if you were not deeply affected by grief and pain i would be surprised. You are grieving for what you had and what you lost and the dreams spoken and unspoken that the two of you were just starting to visualise together.
It is not the same as if h... (read in full...)
She's leaving for Thailand in 1 month for 3 months, should I wait??
Q. hi ... so ive met this girl on the internet about 3 months ago, we have met up about 5 times as she lives 2hours drive away. weve had sex which was amazing and like each others company very much. but theres one problem.... shes going a...
A. 6 December 2010: hi Roland, one in every 100 people, out of a population of 65 million people in Thailand has AIDS. Sobering statistics. If you do wait, and if 'it happens' as you quote from her words, then i would suggest an AIDS test for you both, before you ... (read in full...)
My cheating husband--is he a pedophile? a sex addict?
Q. I just found out a few months ago my husband of 19 years has been seeing a girl who is a crack addict/prostitute for 14 years (off and on - whatever that means) In addition to her there have been others, I don't know how many, he refuses to talk ...
A. 6 December 2010: How I wish they would find a cure for bi-polar. Families sometimes put such a burden on themselves, just trying to support their loved one with bi-polar.
It is a big load of stress for everyone to deal with.
My thoughts are with you.
If he is ... (read in full...)
I hate his psycho ex girlfriend!! Help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for some months now. I am 21 and he is 24. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship with 2 different women. I met my boyfriend way back almost 6 years ago true significant friends and we've been friends ever then but ...
A. 6 December 2010: Your BF should be dealing with this problem. And your BF should be supporting you better by shielding you more effectively from his ex. Your BF would certainly appreciate that you are less abusive than his ex.
Try to never allow jealousy into your... (read in full...)
Am I too young for this guy? Am I missing out on something?
Q. Three years ago, my father brought a man over to the house who he introduced to us as his colleague from work. He is 20 years younger than my dad making him now 35 and 15 years older than me. In present time, I'm actually about to turn 21 the end of ...
A. 5 December 2010: I can see no problem whatsoever. I can even see him asking you to come along and choose an engagement ring now. Talk to him about rings and watch his reaction. And I cannot see that he has to ask for your father's permission to marry. That should ... (read in full...)
Should I try to go after this 20 years older than me guy?
Q. hi, i am sooo confused. I am a divorced female,25. i have never had a boyfriend, and the guy i had an arranged marriage with so far been the only guy in my life. i am totally over my past. now the problem is i like this older guy whose 45. good ...
A. 5 December 2010: There is no problem because you are 25 and have some experience of a husband. If you were 15 and the guy 35 i would say no. But before you jump in I would want you to think about what are your interests and your needs and your aspirations. What ... (read in full...)
He was lying to me and his mum about his whereabouts!
Q. My boyfriend and I split up a few months ago after 2 1/2 years together and I'm trying to make sense of a few things. A few months prior to our split I was having a hard time at work, and I felt unsupported by him. He was working three jobs in the ...
A. 5 December 2010: Your instincts have the ring of truth. You know him through and through. His deceit to you and his mother is disappointing. Based on your instincts and his deceit and his silence I agree that he has been playing up, found no one better than you, ... (read in full...)
My teacher is starting to hit on me now that I've graduated!
Q. Ok so I'm 17 and I graduated school last year ive now gone on to study for my A levels.Theres this teacher at my old school and everybody loved him and its true lots of girls fancied him but I didnt at this point but he was a great teacher and I ...
A. 5 December 2010: Although he seems genuine, based on your description, i would still proceed with caution.
Mainly because he is proceeding with extreme caution.
Almost as if he is aware of all the potholes that could trip him up. As if he has done this before, ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 5 December 2010: I do not think he has matured enough for a long term full relationship,yet. But i do think he has a fantasy about doing so, with you.
Your Emotional Intelligence is far higher than his. In the immediate future he definitely does see you as a pote... (read in full...)
My 62 year old husband's sex drive is increasing while mine is decreasing and I'm only 43!
Q. i am 43 my husband is 62 and still sexy. for 6 months nowmy sex drive went down and his went up. what do i look for? i am getting older? all he has to do is look at me. please help me. i feel like i am a virgin in away....
A. 5 December 2010: Go to the Doctor and get a complete medical. Everything. Blood and urine samples. Bone density. Pap smear. Also ask for the hormone test that will indicate how far away is menopause - believe me Doctors can determine at what stage you are in that. ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to strike a balance with his gaming?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for two years now; got engaged a year ago. We're getting married in March (St. Patty's Day theme) and he's obsessed with video games. Now, of course I understand that guys and girls alike have an immense interest...
A. 5 December 2010: The games are like an addiction. He gets a big rush when he does well. He likes the competitive challenge of beating his opponents. His job will suffer if he eventually finds it affect his productivity at work.
Some people are more prone to bein... (read in full...)
Is height an issue for guys?
Q. Hello, I have a question for the guys out there. Do you mind if your girlfriend or your crush is taller than you? I only ask because I am starting to believe I like this one guy, but I am 5'6" and he is 5'2" so therefore i am taller. So i am c...
A. 4 December 2010: Rodd Stewart has a tall wife
Dudley Moore (think he has died) short cute and funny collected tall wives
If the spark is there then the tall girl v shorter guy will work.
There are lots of tall guys with short girls
Who knows what a magic spark lo... (read in full...)
My GF cries way too much
Q. So I have been dating my girlfriend for over 6 months now. It's pretty serious. In many ways she's exactly what I want in a girl. The problem is that she cries way too often, over little things, and I don't know what I can do about it. For examp...
A. 4 December 2010: Crocodile tears are such a bore. Some women can turn them on like a tap, as a manipulative tool.
Especially used to produce a guilt trip in others. Used to distract from the real issue. Used to try to get a better deal for themselves. Used to help... (read in full...)
5 months into the relationship and haven't talked about sex yet
Q. Hi, I was wondering if I could get some advice on sex in a relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for 5 months. But we haven't even talked about sex yet. And every time I want to talk about it I try being subtle in my use of words. And then she ...
A. 4 December 2010: thank you for restoring my faith. Finding that there are still really nice smart people who slowly build a relationship, before they even consider sex is so refreshing. Stop comparing you with your friends. What they do is irrelevant. I'know guys ... (read in full...)
Am I jealous or have I lost respect.
Q. 4 years ago I started a new job. Everything was going nicely,the General Manager and my immediate online Manager all had a good working relationship - I had a crush on my boss and yes we flirted alot but I dont believe in crossing that line. Then ...
A. 4 December 2010: Seems the culture in your workplace is stuck in a past age, when bosses thought they had a right to bed staff. Those days are long gone. Appropriate behavior does not include infidelity and casual sex between staff. Flirting with a manage... (read in full...)
My girlfriend never wants to be home anymore.
Q. Why does it seem like she never wants to be home anymore? She always comes home so late the last couple nights shes come home when im already in bed. And tonight my gramma is babysitting so we can have a night alone but she says she doesnt know if ...
A. 4 December 2010: Unless this is the time of year when the business where she works does a lot of overtime - but then she'd tell you. No need to be secretive about that Or She making a lifesize sculpture of you in her spare time in an art studio? Unlikely. Or, t... (read in full...)
Should she continue to see him?
Q. My friend has been dating this guy for almost a year, and hasn't asked her to be his girlfriend yet. During their romantic involvement, he's courted her on many dates (cruises, shopping sprees, lavish dinners, etc), which have been fully paid for on ...
A. 4 December 2010: What a player this man is. He must appear too good to be true as he pays for all, no strings attached. And he must feel like a James Bond or a modern day Hugh Hefner equivalent. That's because he wants no strings, no commitment, no ties. He can walk ... (read in full...)
Is this just a phase or should we call it a day?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and its been amazing we're both so happy. But the last month we're constantly fighting and on and off, but we don't last an hour without gettin back together. Is it time to call it a day or how do we ...
A. 4 December 2010: i do hope it only means you are both a little in the doldrums, and perhaps have some other pressures that are wearing you both down.
Perhaps try negotiating and allowing a little flexibility into decisions. Winning the argument is not as impo... (read in full...)
He doesn't trust me
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for around seven months and are happy or so I thought. He doesn't trust me or believe me half the time anymore and I just recently found out that he thinks I'm am or will cheat on him with my friend who I ...
A. 4 December 2010: Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings but this guy seems very insecure. His immaturity is showing up very vkwarl Jealously is either part of a person's being or it's not. Jealously is such a petty nasty trait and it can escalate as it gets worse to ... (read in full...)
Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Q. Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...
A. 3 December 2010: 5 stars again Cerberus
And i agree with all that Cerberus said in his post..
And there are some really respectful kind loving guys out there. Girls please keep looking, because they are out there.
Yet so many girls settle for Strike Out guys, as... (read in full...)
I don't want children and its affecting my dating relationships
Q. I am really close to just throwing in the towel. I'll try and summarise as much as I can! My first girlfriend died in a car crash when we were 19. We'd been together 2 years and I know first love is always a biggie but to lose someone like tha...
A. 3 December 2010: Before you sink any deeper into despondency i was wondering if it might be useful for you to discuss your current 'down' feelings with the Doctor? Some things can look different when our current mood is lifted.
Also i was wondering if a vase... (read in full...)
Why do I always have this white stuff after sex?
Q. every time my boyfriend and I have sex I get white stuff in my vagina about a day later. we don't use a condom and the white stuff smells kind of fishy? it usually goes away in about a week, but this time it hasn't gone away yet and it's been a ...
A. 3 December 2010: it sounds like a thrush infection. But very easily treated if it is thrush. But it could be more, so only a Doctor can determine what it really is. And both you and your boyfriend need to see the Doctor. Sometimes the man can have the infection ... (read in full...)
B/f has told me he'd kill my family if I left him
Q. I found out i was pregnant a few weeks ago. Its not the best news but im learing to deal with it. Im only 21 and recently moved to sweden to be with my boyfriend. Before i found out i was pregnant i wanted to leave him and go home. I have nothen ...
A. 2 December 2010: This man is very dangerous.
You may have to walk out leaving your clothes and the cat behind. Sorry but your personal safety and your life are more important than the cat and your clothes.What papers you need to travel, any personal things like your... (read in full...)
I think there might be something going on between my husband and his ex
Q. Hi I have posted before and had great help from members I need advice again. My Husband treated me terribly over the last two and a half years we have been together there has been lies, being tight with money not bothering with my kids getting ...
A. 2 December 2010: He seems to have a swag of 'issues'. And he's not bonding with your children. And you know him really well, and the signs and the inconsistencies of what he is telling you suggest that yes, yes he may be staying a little longer to re-bond with the ... (read in full...)
Girls, what turns you off?
Q. Girls what is a major turn off about a guy? Is it appearance? Smell? What?...
A. 1 December 2010: turn offs are:
Arrogant
Liar
Grandiose delusion of Grandeur re self
Boastful
Bad breath
Prejudiced/racist
Dogmatic
Petty small minded
Dismissive or rude to his parent/s
Body odor
Unclean matted hair
Eats like a pig, eats too fast
Talkin... (read in full...)
Should I have sex?
Q. I am not sure if I should have sex or not and I was hoping for some input based on the following 1. I REALLY want to have sex 2. I trust my partner and have been with him for three years. 3. I feel at 25 I should be having sex or at least ...
A. 1 December 2010: Most people want their first sexual experience to have meaning.
But then some weaken, forget their resolve, and rush into an ill thought out fumbled encounter with a newish acquaintence. Not love, but really lust. Which leaves then disa... (read in full...)
Concrete, specific, short-term advice for coping with a breakup
Q. It was a wonderful fairytale relationship. She was perfect and we were perfect together. Before our fifth anniversary, she met another guy, and one week later, she dumped me. I know it sounds a lot like many other stories around here, and I've r...
A. 1 December 2010: it is so hard to climb out of the abyss when you are in deep grief for your loss. Good luck in your quest to get over this. But you are reaching out to try to move on, so here goes:
1.Distract yourself with the planning and setting up and impl... (read in full...)
What is his deal?
Q. lately i have been so confused; the guy i like seems so on and off. he flirts with me and the whole bit, but when confronted with it he just kinda shrugs it off. he's got me spinning so bad i'm basically tying in knots! it breaks down like th...
A. 1 December 2010: I really like his approach. He's not a bull at a gate, charging in, whether you are ready or not. He much more subtle.
His slow and steady, gentlemanly approach will eventually mean a lovely partner for a similarly lovely lady.
I think he lik... (read in full...)
Stuck in the middle!
Q. If one if my really good friends is a hoe and I know it, am I wrong for not wanting to be her friend anymore? I consider myself a classy woman with morals and dignity. On NO account do I think I'm better than her!!!! No that I'm realizing how "out ...
A. 1 December 2010: i think you are right to distance yourself from a person whose values and attitudes are absolutely opposite of yours.
And sometimes friends do drift apart because their interests change. It is not the end of the world. You are both on differen... (read in full...)
I want to make him jealous in a good way!
Q. hi what kind advice could i get to get my man to want me more or just to make hem a little jealous in a good way...we been togther for two years now but it just seems like nothing bothers hem about me i knw its a good thing that he trust me but ...
A. 1 December 2010: i dont think you need to get your man's back up by artificially implying you just might be getting some interest from elsewhere. Jealously is not positive. Thus your plan could dent his trust in you.
In public be a lady. In private, flirt with him... (read in full...)
I cant deal with her anymore! What should I do?
Q. Hi there my girlfriend and I have been living together for three months, and in this period of time our relationship has fallen apart. I want to move out, but I feel that will wreak havoc on my schoolwork and that I will have to finish the lease and ...
A. 30 November 2010: Your situation is not OK and you do not need to put up with it any more.
I suspect the money her Mom gives her would be welcome relief for her Mom just to be rid of her.
This girl is selfish, cruel and abusive in multiple ways.
She's als... (read in full...)
Does she miss me? Does she just want to be friends? What is going on?
Q. So, I was dating this girl during the summer. She's 2 years younger than I am, but we had a lot of fun together. I was serious about dating her, even though it was never "official." Anyways, we ended up having Her First Kiss. A few days later, she ...
A. 30 November 2010: it seems this girl has touched your heart. And you've tried to tell her how much. But she sends such mixed signals.
It's not fair, and it's not pleasant - but some girls with 'issues' they can't handle make things worse by acting bitchy, sharp, acid... (read in full...)
Did she use me for my money?
Q. my gF of 6 years recently move out. said that she did not love me anymore and wanted to be on her own. a little back ground when we met she was my tenant and it grew it to a relatinship she came from an abusive relatinship and had 3 kids. she live...
A. 28 November 2010: She behaved in a reprehensible dishonest way.
She has abused your trust completely. You can never trust her ever again. She stole your money. You gave her far too much rope to abuse you financially, because you trusted her too much.
It is a g... (read in full...)
Do I have to dump my married man?
Q. Im inlove with married man,we have been together for some mnths now,judging by his actions i think he loves me,god im so much inlove with him,he dont want to talk much about his marriage,is he using me for sex?do i have to dump him b4 it 2 late?...
A. 28 November 2010: You are his little escape.
You are probably not his first.
You will not be his last.
He lies effortlessly to his wife.
Lying to his dalliance on the side is even easier.
Forget his smooth talk.
You deserve better than to be his part time... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
