Our LDR is stalling after 3 years. Do I stay with him, or look for someone else?
Q. I`ve been in relationship with someone for 3 years. I want to settle down and enjoy life together but he's happy the way it is We don't live together. We live 50 miles away from each other. I'm 50 now i want someone to grow old with and share ...
A. 13 February 2017: I basically agree with the other aunts. Long distance is what you feel and is not measured by a yardstick. You say he is happy with the way things are. You don't say how you know this. Is this a conclusion you have reached because he has not done ... (read in full...)
How should I approach asking this cute girl out?
Q. There's a girl in class that I've got feelings for. She's super cute and we talk a lot, as we share many interests. I know that she is bisexual, as I've asked a while back. But she is extremley shy... It's easy for me to talk to her usually,...
A. 13 February 2017: A lot of guys have this issue and they are much older than you. Once guys develop feelings for a particular woman the tendency is to put them on a pedestal. When that happens the only way the woman can see you is to look down at you. I don't t... (read in full...)
I fear our cultures will clash too much!
Q. Dear agony aunts Recently I have been seeing a guy that I really like and starting to have feelings for, we have been on several dates and been seeing each other for the last couple of months I like this guy so much but he is English living i...
A. 13 February 2017: I agree with the advice offered by Youcannotbeserious. You are engaging in fear based thinking which often will bring about the thing you fear. If you cannot imagine something becoming real it most likely will not succeed. I do understand y... (read in full...)
He sent me a happy birthday text then unblocked me. Is this a good sign?
Q. Just wanted a few opinions I had a huge falling out with a guy I was close friends with We didn't talk for a long time bar the sporadic text So he messaged me happy birthday a few weeks ago and I noticed this week has unblocked me from a mes...
A. 12 February 2017: You don't say what the huge falling out was about. I am guessing given the resulting silence that hurtful things were said by both of you. Also the implication is you were friends and nothing more intimate. Finally it appears that when he wished ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him?
Q. How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him? Is that even normal for a guy to feel? Early in our relationship, he was disappointed that I wasn't a virgin. Then he was weirded out when he found out that he wasn't ...
A. 12 February 2017: It seems to me that this is someone you care about or you would not be trying to resolve this for the third time. The short answer is to tell him that the woman he cares so much about now is the product of all those previous experiences, including ... (read in full...)
I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?
Q. I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...
A. 30 January 2017: It seems to me that you really need to sort out your feelings for your girlfriend. I think her level of fitness is just standing in for deeper issues in the relationship. You do have a history with her and you say you love her. Maybe she is unhappy ... (read in full...)
When a person leaves their job is it OK to still maintain contact, call, and catch up with them for a drink if they are in a relationship?
Q. When someone you work with leaves is it ok to contact him by text or phone even though they have a girl fiend just to see how they are and to maintain contact. What about going for a drink to catch up. Would it make me look like a bad person? ...
A. 30 January 2017: It seems to me you are treading upon dangerous territory here. You don't say what, if any relationship existed betweeen you and this man before he left. Had you previously enjoyed a friendly relationship with him inside or outside of work? Is his ... (read in full...)
Does he just want into my trousers?
Q. Hello there, Iv been talking to a boy I love for a few months now and we've been out together but he lives away from me, it's all being going great and he told me he loved me and it was going so well. He's now said that I don't make him Happy and he ...
A. 2 December 2016: He is telling you clearly that you do not make him happy, he has no idea what he wants and he is not ready for commitment. These are major red flags that he is preparing to leave. Whether it is just manipulation to get sex is something you will ... (read in full...)
Who do I go for? Dude A or B?
Q. Who do I really love? I'm 17 years of age and I'm in my final year in secondary school. I am in a love triangle(two boys). I love dude A a lot but he is a player and I've know him since primary school, he was my sitting mate in primary school. ...
A. 2 December 2016: In a way I am not surprised by your conflicting emotions. I think you should try to see the bigger picture here. You are 17 and about to leave the relatively nurturing environment of high school. I don't know what your immediate plans are, but ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into what my boyfriend said?
Q. I would appreciate some insight from the following...I am questioning whether or not I am reading too much into it or if it is indeed something I should be concerned about. A few evenings ago, my boyfriend of a year and I were having some cock...
A. 28 November 2016: I think you are reading way too much into this. You don't say how long the relationship is or whether you have justification to believe he is referring to someone other than you but the scenario here is drinking together with your boyfriend, him ... (read in full...)
Will he ever think of me more than just a hook up?
Q. I met this guy on tinder and we got on really well. The same night I met him on tinder we met in person and we hooked up. We have hooked up 3 times in the past 6 days. After every time we hook up we would have long and sometimes feel conversations ...
A. 27 November 2016: I really think you should proceed with caution here. He is telling you that he still loves his ex. That tells me he is not ready now for a relationship that is about a possible future with you. He is still dealing with a past relationship. You are ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him to come round? Or do I let go?
Q. Could do with some insight here into my situation. I call it a situation because it is not nor never has been a relationship. and my female friends and male friends are offering conflicting advice. so I really am lost. I have a long-term friend...
A. 27 November 2016: Let it go. It actually seems to me that you both were conflicted, not surprising in such a long relationship. You initiated the contact after you heard he was divorcing but then decided to actually meet. I am not sure what resulted from these ... (read in full...)
If you miss someone could it make you realize that you love them?
Q. Could missing someone make you realize that you love them, even if you might not have realized it before? The reason I ask is that my boyfriend is overseas and he's been gone for 4 weeks. He's back in 2. But for the very first time he told me ...
A. 12 November 2016: You don't say how long you have been in this relationship which could effect the evaluation. Also, is this the first time you have been separated like this? I am also wondering what the context was that he told you he loves you. Putting all of ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend because of the distance but I really miss him
Q. I started dating my boyfriend (newly ex) when I was 17 and senior in high school when he was a freshman in college. We have been dating for over three years, long distance but can occasionally visit each other on the weekends and breaks for ...
A. 9 October 2016: I am struck by several comments you made in your post which have me wondering whether distance is really the cause of the break up. You wonder if he is holding you back; that he can't give you what you need; that you need to find out how to live ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you agree with my strategy to back off? Do you think I made a fool of myself?
Q. Hello all I've seen this type question before but I told him I had feelings really put myself out there and he said you're very sweet. Ouch! Now I know the feelings aren't mutual so I've decided to back off and leave him alone. Is that the ri...
A. 9 October 2016: Your reaction"ouch" suggests an expectation issue. You seemed to have expected something closely resembling your expressions to him. The question of course is why would you have felt that way? We need the context of this conversation. Was there a ... (read in full...)
Did I mess things up by telling him??
Q. I confessed my feelings to him and his response was interesting. At first he was quiet and then he held me and pulled me close to him. He never said anything back. His actions were very loving kisses holding and longing eye contact. He is very shy...
A. 7 October 2016: But you have gotten an expression of his feelings and I think it's actually pretty reassuring at this point. He told you how lucky he feels that you are in his life, he holds you close, he maintains eye contact, he makes love to you. He is telling ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has always been rather shady. Is this a red flag?
Q. I would like some advice on whether the following scenario would raise a red flag: Today I was driving home from work, on the phone with my boyfriend. Suddenly he said he had to take a call, so I was like OK, call me back. When I got home 40mins l...
A. 29 September 2016: It's a big red flag. Thus is a guy who does not know much about the female mind lol. I would rather have the FBI tracking me than a suspicious woman. He did not think you would figure it out and still thinks you will buy the bank fiction. When you ... (read in full...)
She showed me her nude pictures. Does this mean she likes me?
Q. A little about us, we are both 21, study at the same university and are very close to each other. We study together, eat together, hang out it the same group most of the time. Last week we were doing an assignment at her place. Actually there w...
A. 29 September 2016: I have to agree with the others. You are in the friend zone with this woman at least as of now. In fact it is more likely you will remain there because she showed you those photos. She is probably thinking she raised your expectations and does not ... (read in full...)
How to react when the honeymoon period is over?
Q. I feel like in every relationship once the honeymoon period is over, you reach that point where you're like, is there enough good stuff here that you want to move forward even though you're not high on love anymore, and give love a chance to grow ...
A. 28 September 2016: The only one who can determine whether a particular issue or set of issues is a deal breaker is you. You are absolutely correct that the inevitable passing of the "honeymoon phase", which tends to last longer in LDRs, brings your differen... (read in full...)
Should I feel this hurt that he dumped me?
Q. Dear Aunts. I had sex without protection with some guy a month ago. Before we had sex he told me that he loves me so i just went with the flow. The next morning he bought(he is working) me morning after pill to prevent the chances of me getting p...
A. 6 June 2016: To me the important part of your message is the conclusion. Your exams are more important at this point than any guy is. That should be your focus as it will strengthen your chances of doing well and has the added bonus of crowding out these ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 16 May 2016: You are very young so it is understandable that you might need this kind of affirmation to feel secure in the relationship. I don't know how old your bf is but I will assume you are close in age. At this point you are exploring what it means to be ... (read in full...)
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