Now that he's abroad he doesn't contact me at all!
Q. Hi, I'm in a strange "relationship" with my colleague and I don't know what to do..One year ago I've got this new job..when i met with my coworker, it was instant chemistry, he always look at me, trying to contact me..but i heard he's a player s...
A. 8 September 2017: If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, he may just be busy trying to get settled in and adjusted at this new place.
However, I think if a person truly cares about you that person will always make an effort. It may not be the same eff... (read in full...)
I'm comparing myself to his beautiful ex and feel like I don't measure up!
Q. I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 4 years and I have yet to find any flaws in his looks or personality. In being up front, this is a question based out of my own insecurities and not from something he has done or said. He w...
A. 17 December 2016: Yes, I wouldn't be threatened by her looks. I'd say you should just focus on keeping your relationship with your husband strong. Whether it's keeping yourself fit (in your definition of fit) and attractive, have meaningful moments with your husband ... (read in full...)
Can't get over his cheating on me
Q. A relationship of a year ended at the beginning of June. I talked to him before we parted way and felt like I got the closure that I needed. I got over it quite quickly and starting seeing other people. It only just so happens that I ended up on ...
A. 17 December 2016: I know how you must feel betrayed. You had an image of him differently when you broke up than you have now and somehow that made you question yourself and maybe your feelings for him. Be angry or sad, that's normal but also think about the fact t... (read in full...)
I can't stop wondering about her
Q. Everything my logical brain thinks of says DO NOT CONTACT HER, yet I still want to know how she's doing. I want to know if she is doing well. Obviously this is about my ex'. Im curious and hoping she's doing well. I can list a number a of reas...
A. 27 September 2016: Think about the consequence of you reaching out to her by any means. Will that be good for either you or her? If the answer is no, then don't. If your intentions are "good", maybe. Again, think of the consequences to your current life. Do you really ... (read in full...)
Can people rise out of a depressing life to achieve good things? Or am I destined to achieve nothing?
Q. I'm going nowhere in life. I contrast the way things are now with the dreams I had as a young girl and I feel like a pathetic drip. I thought I was going to do amazing things in the world and leave a legacy but all I've done is fail at life and...
A. 5 September 2016: I think God has a plan for each of us (or as you put it-destiny) but the difference is we have free will (ultimately we ourselves determine our future by the actions we take). If you believe in something other than yourself (I believe there's a God ... (read in full...)
Can people rise out of a depressing life to achieve good things? Or am I destined to achieve nothing?
Q. I'm going nowhere in life. I contrast the way things are now with the dreams I had as a young girl and I feel like a pathetic drip. I thought I was going to do amazing things in the world and leave a legacy but all I've done is fail at life and...
A. 22 August 2016: You sound just like me but you know what, I finally took the courage to take a risk and get out of my comfort zone so I could give myself a "chance" to find happiness again. And taking that risk already made me feel better about myself. After taki... (read in full...)
Should I be feeling so selfish for wanting to leave my husband? For me, the love has faded.
Q. My husband is a good, hardworking father who loves me and our children. He has also previously been physically and emotionally abusive toward me and on a much lesser scale our daughter. I know I should have left then but I wanted so badly to...
A. 19 August 2016: I would advice that you engage in a self reflection and ask for a third party input (priest, counselor or trusted friend/family) on how to learn to forgive yourself and your husband. I think you are feeling regretful for not taking the chanc... (read in full...)
Have I lost my College friend? I miss the talks we used to enjoy together
Q. I had a college friend who after a long time got in touch with when I sent her my marriage invitation. Its been 8 years and we are in touch on whatzapp on and off and that too very casual chats. It was mostly she who would text me with question...
A. 19 August 2016: I think you have not done anything wrong. You asked her what's wrong so give her time to come around and tell you, IF she decides to tell you, what has been bothering her. Maybe just reassure her that you are there as her friend to talk to. And ... (read in full...)
Male virgin and now in my 20s. What can I do?
Q. I'm am writing to get advice and opinions about my virginity and lack of relationship experience. I'm a male who has never had sex or a girlfriend. The reason for this a rather personal and complex.I have always had trouble making friends and rela...
A. 30 May 2016: As a female who have saved their virginity to the man they married, I think kudos to the man who has the willpower to do the same especially in this day's generation. I still don't regret waiting. I'm certainly lucky that he matched my appetite when ... (read in full...)
I feel crushed. How can a man turn nasty so quickly?
Q. My ex of 42 recently ended things twice with me and I have lost all trust in him now. He wanted to see me yesterday. I still love him but declined as Im healing and feel it was not a healthy relationship anyway. He had mood swings and was not over...
A. 30 May 2016: DO NOT BELIEVE those harsh words he said. He is simply attacking you because he is terribly hurt and this is his method of coping. The mature way would've been to talk out what went wrong with your relationship and find a way to make changes so it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's behaviour has left me feeling confused. How do I make sense of this? Help !
Q. I am so confused about my boyfriend's behaviour lately. We've been together for nearly six months and everything has been great. He's really sweet and loving. He always makes an effort and plans dates. He's a proper gentleman, always pays. For Va...
A. 30 May 2016: I think an honest conversation is a key towards a healthy relationship. All these technology sometimes raises a high expectation on relationships (and work). I remember the days when people "write" longhand love letters and that's not everyday and ... (read in full...)
My words initiated the break-up. But he broke up as if I never meant anything to him. How can I get over this?
Q. Hi, I am very unhappy i need advice I have been dating this man for ten months now and he has a habit of ignoring my calls and texts even for days so we have been urguing about it he says he is busy but he will go even for a week unless i contact ...
A. 30 May 2016: I'm sorry to say this but I think he is not worth your time. It doesnt seem he cared. Of course you haven't mentioned his side of the story, maybe he was frustrated about you being overprotective or needy or something else we dont know. But it ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My Bf has now become just taciturn and grumpy
Q. When we first met my boyfriend loved talking with me but now he is just taciturn and grumpy.He bites back every conversation i start and complains about everything connected to me. It's driving me crazy and i cant see why he could imagine i want a ma...
A. 30 May 2016: Has something happened in his life? Maybe at work, with his own family or whatever it is? Maybe he's venting it out on you because he doesn't know how to deal with the source of his frustration. Don't match his anger with anger, instead pray for ... (read in full...)
How can I make her feel more welcome and help her to enjoy life again after her woes with her ex?
Q. I have been dating this great girl for two months and falling for her. She moved here recently because her ex made her and she has a young child. Couple times a month she goes back home to see her friends and when she comes back she is depresse...
A. 9 April 2016: Just be you, be sincere, and listen. A person who's dealing with a lot of things sometimes just needs a person who's willing to listen and give her unbiased advise. Encourage her to think about what she really wants out of her life and tell her ... (read in full...)
His re-actions don't support his words that 'he can't wait to be married to me'. What should I do?
Q. When I go to my fiance's house and he's watching a movie he won't stop it to talk to me when I hug him he acts like he doesn't want to be touched. Is this normal for a guy? He tells me he can't wait to marry me but I feel unimportant to him....
A. 6 April 2016: To add to their posts, go with your gut, follow your heart, but listen to your head too. I've realized the over the years when my mind/heart clashes, it seems to me that following my true passion has led me to no regrets because even if I "failed", ... (read in full...)
How to cope with the fall of a 4 year relationship?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a four year relationship and struggling to cope. Unlike the end of my five year relationship before this, where I was very angry and that anger just faded into nothing- this time, I am just so sad and very disappoi...
A. 6 April 2016: Sometimes you just have to let those feelings out. If you're sad, be sad. Cry it out. Write down all the emotions and thoughts, vent it out. The point is one day once you've thought about what lead to your breakup and understood or even better, ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with loneliness and low self-esteem in a world where everyone around you seems to be busy doing things
Q. How do you recover from being an achiever and surrounded by peers who admire you and inspired by you to becoming the one that has fallen off the tracks careerwise, money wise, and even relationshipwise? Yes, there's family and friends but how can ...
A. 30 March 2016: Thank you for your responses. I especially got inspired by some of your suggestions Eddie. I love the anonymous' last line "don't be scared. Go out."
I dont want to relay my problems here, I just want to improve my mental and emotional strength... (read in full...)
Depression and isolation has made me unable to make new friends
Q. I'm in my early 20's. I've suffered from depression for over 4 years now and I also have generalized anxiety. Due to my mental illnesses it has caused me to isolate away from people and caused me to live in a bubble. For the last few years I hid ...
A. 26 March 2016: I'd be more than happy to exchange messages with you. I can definitely understand where you're coming from. They are right about therapy or counseling. I steer clear of drugs, as much as possible, because I dont want to deal with addiction. Try ... (read in full...)
Depression and isolation has made me unable to make new friends
Q. I'm in my early 20's. I've suffered from depression for over 4 years now and I also have generalized anxiety. Due to my mental illnesses it has caused me to isolate away from people and caused me to live in a bubble. For the last few years I hid ...
A. 26 March 2016: I'd be more than happy to exchange messages with you. I can definitely understand where you're coming from. They are right about therapy or counseling. I steer clear of drugs, as much as possible, because I dont want to deal with addiction. Try ... (read in full...)
Should I marry him, considering that I have major trust issues?
Q. Ive been with my fiance for 6 years and last year he proposed to me. Our relationship has its ups and downs. Ive known his positive and negative traits more than anyone he knows. Probably more than his family do. He is quite loving and caring ...
A. 26 March 2016: My advise: No or not yet. I think you should open this conversation with your fiance and see where it leads. I know somebody who married but with doubt and after the wedding, unfortunately, finally met someone who IS compatible, who has the ... (read in full...)
Were you successful in forgetting the person you had an emotional affair with? How long did it take you and what did you have to do to get over it?
Q. Were you successful in forgetting the person you had an emotional affair with? How long did it take you and what did you have to do to get over it? (esp. for those who are unsure of their feelings towards their spouse/partners to begin with). ...
A. 26 March 2016: To miss anonymous, how have you been? Have you figured out a way to fill the void in your heart? I think the greatest gift we all can get from that experience is it made us see clearly what was missing and what our deepest desires where to come to ... (read in full...)
My reaction to seeing my ex has me wondering if I should be engaged!
Q. I am engaged to my long term boyfriend. This has been a recent engagement and I was very happy. However, I ran into my university ex at the weekend or I have rarely thought about in five years. It was nice to have a quick catch up. Since seeing him ...
A. 7 March 2016: If you ARE feeling some doubts, I think you should try to find the reasons why. Maybe, there were some unresolved issues that you never really let go with your past relationship from your ex. You need to be clear with yourself that, in your heart, ... (read in full...)
Any chance of fixing something this broken?
Q. I started speaking to a girl over the summer as we were living in the same university halls, we got on really well and connected instantly. we spoke everyday and she even mentioned that it took me ages to reply. we met up when we both had moved in...
A. 17 December 2015: I think you need to give her time. She doesn't seem ready to be committed into something more than a casual encounter. You can either choose to be her friend (which may end up staying as her friend or eventually grow into something more) OR (in ... (read in full...)
How on earth do I bring this crush under control?
Q. I am obsessed with my uni lecturer! Infatuated, and cannot stop thinking about him! This is very embarrassing for me to admit because I am almost 30 and have been in a relationship for 9 years. I am sure my lecturer must realise how I feel...
A. 30 October 2015: Here's a true and tried strategy based on personal experience. The only time it didn't work is when I realized I was in love with that person (so be careful because, it can backfire). ??
1. get to know that person but not in an obsessive way with... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me or is he just being nice?
Q. I really like the guy over the road from me and im not sure if he likes me he always smiles at me and stands looking then when he gives me a lift home in the car when we drop people off he looks im the mirror and askes if I want to move in to the ...
A. 20 April 2015: I think he is just being polite. But if you like him, and he is NOT married, you should try and get to know him better. You will know if the guy likes you once he actually makes an effort to be there for you compared to his friends/peers. Only way ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him and request one final discussion, for closure, following out break-up?
Q. I recently ended a relationship that lasted 3.5 years and was very chaotic (lots or arguing and communication issues) That happened about 2 months ago. Since then I've been on an emotional roller coaster, sometimes feeling great and thinking I'm ...
A. 20 April 2015: I understand what you mean and feel. My advice to you is give yourself time to let all these that happened in your relationship with your ex sink in for a few more. DON'T get in touch with him just yet because the emotions are still so fresh an... (read in full...)
She no longer shows affection -- does that mean she doesn't care?
Q. Hello everyone, I've been dating my girl friend for the past 8 months now and it was all going we l when it all started, she'll text me always and call too but Now I believe that I love her more than she does because , I don't get any affection ...
A. 12 November 2014: you should read about 5 languages of love. Maybe you and her just show love in a whole different way. figure out which one it is (Like your style is words of affirmation and maybe thats what you want to be shown too, it could be quality time as ... (read in full...)
Signs of sexual tension?
Q. What are subtle signs of sexual tension between two people? I'm talking about the little things they do, stuff that isn't as obvious or not talked about a lot. And how will they act around each other if they are trying to hide/resist the ...
A. 12 November 2014: I won't answer the earlier question since they've elaborated on it quite well but there is this answer to your last question: Others who are observant about your interaction will do notice the tension or chemistry even if you try to hide it. A... (read in full...)
Lately I find myself not wanting anything to do with men anymore.
Q. I am in my early 40s. I have been single for the last 15 years, raising my daughter. Now she is all grown up and moved out long ago. I never got married to a father of my child. We are on good terms though, almost friends. I had relationships lo...
A. 12 November 2014: Maybe you are happier being alone. There's a difference between that and being afraid to get hurt. If you are just afraid, maybe you should give this guy a shot but do it on your own phase. Some people want someone to be next to them in bed and ... (read in full...)
I like a hot dad and don't know how or if even should pursue?
Q. Hi just need some advice pls. I'm a 33 single mum,and there is this really hot dad at the school, iv never spoken to him face to face as I always assumed his married or got a partner plus I'm shy lol anyway im on a dating site and hadn't been on ...
A. 12 November 2014: I think it's good to be cautious but if you REALLY want to get to know him you can start by bringing him a dish during xmas or whatever. Honestly though, more often than not, it's girls who makes the first moves that end up getting heartbroken coz ... (read in full...)
I do love my boyfriend but I'm tempted by the other guy
Q. Hi - any help would be appreciated. I am on a total mess. My best girl friend and I went away last year and met a couple of guys. Both of us are in long term relationships but nothing happened with them. We spent a couple of nights out getti...
A. 12 November 2014: I think you need time to be on your own and not be in a relationship. Maybe you need to date a few more men if you can't be satisfied with just one. It is wrong to keep your boyfriend close to you just because he loves you. And if you REALLY love... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop the push and pull from him?
Q. Hi.. I've been with my bf for almost 5 years. Our relationship was great before. But I've made mistakes by taking him for granted and not appreciating what hed done before also rejecting his marriage proposal. I also been controlling so that he ...
A. 12 November 2014: I think you either need to have a straight talk to him about these issues. List it down so you won't forget. Just have a "mature" conversation and face the consequences. No blaming, no screaming, just two solid characters so you can have a plan. ... (read in full...)
The clock is ticking and I feel like I am running out of time!
Q. I am in my last year of my 20s and I have not met "the one" yet also I am still in the process of finishing my masters degree. Sometimes I feel like I did not get all the stuff I wanted to get done by the time I turned 30. When I was a teenager I ...
A. 11 November 2014: How bout this...40 is the new 30! ;) If God has planned for you to have kids, they will come. I am a by-product of the societal pressure being raised in the conservative outlook and because of that I have made decisions that I have regretted. ... (read in full...)
What does the word 'cute' mean to guys? To me, it means 'ugly but acceptable'!
Q. Dear Auntz Me and my new boyfriend started dating a week ago and he keeps saying that im cute! I have always told myself that i will never date any guy that thinks i am cute, but here i am. I wish he would use the word beautiful instea...
A. 4 November 2014: A guy once told me that "cute" is their safest answer because it could mean: A) they really think you're pretty but don't want to feed your ego or reveal that they really like you. B) it could mean that they just see you as a friend and even if ... (read in full...)
How to be a friend to someone you still love (or like) but have to forget?
Q. I have this whirlwind "romance" with a co-worker I've only known for two months. It started out as being polite. He's a new staff, I'm old and so I started to show him the ropes. He would say how smart I was etc. After seeing how I work. I would ...
A. 3 November 2014: I am back. I'm still struggling with a decision because my husband doesn't want me to leave him DESPITE knowing I don't love him like that. I care VERY MUCH for him like a bestfriend and he said he is scared to be alone. He said there is no reason ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he be nicer to me? Should I ignore him, just as he did to me?
Q. I am attending a course at university. I go to this course once every week with my friend. There is a guy that I like. Today in the end of course this guy talked almost all the time to my friend and not to me and also he gave his number to my fri...
A. 29 October 2014: I think its obvious that the guy is interested in your friend. He may be rude in ignoring you but if he at least says hello or greets you politely then I think it's fine and there's no ill will towards you. He just wants to make the most of his time ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my daughter never having a family
Q. My daughter is 28, her boyfriend is 32. They both graduated long ago and both have masters in different fields. They both have VERY good jobs with VERY nice salaries. They both travelled the world. My daughter was on every continent, and more tha...
A. 15 October 2014: They can always adopt when the time is right. Let them live their life but there's nothing wrong with asking her about it. Sometimes life just passes by without you even thinking and maybe if no one has brought it up (which is great bec. I hate the ... (read in full...)
How to tell if a work colleague likes you?
Q. i like my work colleague a lot. but i not sure if he likes me or not, we work in a bank but on different departments. sometimes i look around and see him looking at me but not sure if he like me..... i have been working there for 3 mon...
A. 15 October 2014: Before you do anything else, figure out if he's married or not. You don't want to get involved with a married man. After that, if you like him why don't you start talking to him about work (nothing personal) and see how he reacts. DON'T chase hi... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, so does he like me?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 and I'm unsure if a guy likes me or not because he sends mixed signals. Sometimes he barely acknowledges me and doesn't bother and looks completely uninterested as he doesn't attempt to make conversation at all. However, other times, ...
A. 10 September 2014: Yes this is tough. If you can control your emotions try NOT to be emotionally involved with him. I have fallen for the same trick. This guy keeps teasing me until my heart fell for his charm. Now I'm miserable because he likes me but not enough to ... (read in full...)
He looks his ex up less and less, will the hurt fade from him eventually?
Q. I know that my boyfriend loves me and wants to be with only me, however he was very hurt when him and his ex girlfriend broke up nearly four years ago. We have been together a year and a half and live together with plans to marry next year. He ...
A. 8 September 2014: First of all, be grateful that in the end he chose to be with you. Coming from someone who went through the same thing as your husband. It took me 3yrs to get over a guy I was in love with. And I did because I met someone that just filled my heart ... (read in full...)
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