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This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2011: I want to weigh in on the debate that keeps coming up. My partner used to want me to imagine other girls during sex and I was never comfortable with this. In the end I agreed to try it out to help please her. I was always thinking of her though. I...
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Valid reasons to leave your partner after less than 2 years marriage.
Q. Some of you may remember my posts in the past. Well the good news is that we have been getting along well and building our future together. Bit there are two big pressures that I face on a continual basis. The first is the fact that I am expect...
A. 16 April 2013: Well the standard thing I'm hearing from her is that she loves le but feels upset about the poor relationship shebhas with my mother. I used to lean on mum for support during rough times because I had no one to turn to un China. But that ... (read in full...)
Valid reasons to leave your partner after less than 2 years marriage.
Q. Some of you may remember my posts in the past. Well the good news is that we have been getting along well and building our future together. Bit there are two big pressures that I face on a continual basis. The first is the fact that I am expect...
A. 15 April 2013: Yeah the biggest issue is of course surrounding my parents. They treated my wife badly (mum in particular) and she blames me because a few years ago I sought out support from mum while living overseas away from family and friends and end. o was ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 19 December 2012: It's 4am and I can't sleep for the heat. Here it is summer. Last night things escalated. She calls it a fight but actually she was just frustrated it seems. I accidentally cut her while trying to cut her pubic hair.
After that she lost it and grab... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 19 December 2012: Yeah more problems today. She announces that she needs a holiday. Told me that she will use her savings from her hard working to return to visit her parents alone for Chinese new year and take a nice trip around Europe with her friends...
When ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 15 December 2012: Dorothy,
Sorry I forgot to add that we live in a share house accommodation. It's not a bad flat and pretty central to everything. We live with two students - a young guy studying at music school (he just left today for two months to go back to ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 15 December 2012: Dorothy,
Your answers are so much better than seeing a counsellor! Every single one of the seven values match my core values.
About the virus, it has pretty much gone now. My work environment is a bit cold so that was adding to how long it took... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 12 December 2012: Hi Dorothy. It might sound odd, but part of the anger from my wife was about our share house conditions and my lack of full time work. I have always been the one that values time together and think from the same point of view as you: too much time ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 10 December 2012: Exactly. She offers affection and warmth of an evening at the moment. Seems the time apart working is doing us good.
Don't worry, some memories aren't forgotten.
I'll write back properly after I get some rest. I'm trying to look after mysel... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 9 December 2012: Thankyou aunts. I haven't been back for a few days due to illness. I had a bad flu that left me unable to eat and aching/dizzy. I have my new full time job on Monday:)
Yesterday, despite my illness I had to clean up and cook both lunch and dinn... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 4 December 2012: In fact, is it fair to say that disgruntled spouses have a tendency to rewrite history and claim that they never loved their spouse simply because at that time they are going a bad period of time?
I am amazed that she cam say that I'm not hard wor... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 4 December 2012: Yeah you probably have a point. She told me a long winded story last night about her past. In college she fell in love with a man that didn't want her. She was apparently crying and getting drunk because she couldn't get the man out of her mind. But ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 3 December 2012: Also in reference to the arguments, I have a tendency to be the quiet one. I try not to shout. Quite often I find my wife so angry that she is ready to physically lash out. Yesterday in the car, she worked herself up because I didn't know the name... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 3 December 2012: Thankyou for your reply! What's interesting is that we don't spend that much time arguing when we really talk. But my wife makes it clear that she is the sort of person who loves money and power. Last night she was really upset and clearly told me ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 3 December 2012: Cindy you are right and I am seeking counselling for myself. I kept putting up with my wife for a number of reasons. First is for the sake of the marriage. Then there was a fear of not being able to find someone else. Still loving my wife despite ... (read in full...)
I'm staring at the dissolution of my marriage...
Q. Hey guys its been a while since I last posted. I thought everything would come along well with my wife and I but I'm sadly mistaken. She has really turned against me. It all started just after she left for her 9 week holiday. She started saying...
A. 29 August 2012: I feel like hiring a PI to investigate. Just trying to see if she is emotionally abusing me. I am hurting so much now. Where is my wife? Where is the woman I married? How could she say these things to me? I can't stop crying... (read in full...)
I'm staring at the dissolution of my marriage...
Q. Hey guys its been a while since I last posted. I thought everything would come along well with my wife and I but I'm sadly mistaken. She has really turned against me. It all started just after she left for her 9 week holiday. She started saying...
A. 29 August 2012: I will also quickly add that my parents suspect that her parents and family pushed her into marrying me. I disagree because we went through the process of our own accord. We agreed on everything and the timing. The whole lot. I am the type t... (read in full...)
I'm staring at the dissolution of my marriage...
Q. Hey guys its been a while since I last posted. I thought everything would come along well with my wife and I but I'm sadly mistaken. She has really turned against me. It all started just after she left for her 9 week holiday. She started saying...
A. 29 August 2012: I loved this woman with every part of my soul. We had only just gotten married. I feel sick right now.... (read in full...)
I'm staring at the dissolution of my marriage...
Q. Hey guys its been a while since I last posted. I thought everything would come along well with my wife and I but I'm sadly mistaken. She has really turned against me. It all started just after she left for her 9 week holiday. She started saying...
A. 29 August 2012: Please I need help because I can't sleep. The cruelty of her comments has gutted me. She is my first and I really asked her repeatedly to step back and try to be nice to me. I was hurting and wanted some of her attention. Right now I'm a mess... (read in full...)
It's hard to be half a planet away from somebody, especially when you're aching to be in their arms.
Q. After talking for 6 months to the same man online, admittedly "love" eachother and talking almost daily when given the chance I'm still confused. Maybe it's because I've never been in a LDR. This is easier than it should be but also more difficult. ...
A. 11 July 2012: Bondgirl hits the nail on the head perfectly. Be very cautious as to how you pursue this. You haven't met the person in real life. OK you ask the same sort of questions I did about 3 years ago so I'm going to share with you some things that my wife ... (read in full...)
Help me rebuild my life!
Q. Apologies in advance as this is not so much a relationship question as it has more to do with rebuilding a life from the ground up financially. Three years ago I left Australia and spent the entire $20,000 I had saved through my hard work over f...
A. 9 July 2012: Oh, and she left to China with the intention of spending time with all her friends and family which sounds good but isn't really in my mind. Is it a separation? It feels like it. Our sex lives have been very bad due to an occasional ED problem and a ... (read in full...)
Help me rebuild my life!
Q. Apologies in advance as this is not so much a relationship question as it has more to do with rebuilding a life from the ground up financially. Three years ago I left Australia and spent the entire $20,000 I had saved through my hard work over f...
A. 9 July 2012: I wasn't going to complicate things further but you guys may as well know about the hard time I am having. My wife has finally gotten so upset with me that she confided in a close male friend about leaving me for two months to have a nice summer ... (read in full...)
Help me rebuild my life!
Q. Apologies in advance as this is not so much a relationship question as it has more to do with rebuilding a life from the ground up financially. Three years ago I left Australia and spent the entire $20,000 I had saved through my hard work over f...
A. 9 July 2012: Thankyou for all the answers so far!
doberdark: actually I'm married which is even harder. I already have an idea along the lines of what you ate talking about. Thankyou for recommending that it is quite possible. I was a little concerned about ne... (read in full...)
Still searching for answers....why is my wife like this now we have moved to Australia?
Q. I have never met this kind of person in my life. Neither have any of my friends and family. In China, my wife wasn't as abusive as she has become here. A brief history of me: I left Australia to be with her for two years over there and we wen...
A. 27 June 2012: Cindy Thankyou for your straight input. You have spelt it put as clear as day. I am introspective more than I should be. Yes I thought for a second about the recurring pattern and you are right again about shifting blame too much. Being a taxi d... (read in full...)
Still searching for answers....why is my wife like this now we have moved to Australia?
Q. I have never met this kind of person in my life. Neither have any of my friends and family. In China, my wife wasn't as abusive as she has become here. A brief history of me: I left Australia to be with her for two years over there and we wen...
A. 26 June 2012: No she isn't using drugs.Her words are usually the same things about how fed up she is. I'm confused and hurt. But worst of all is that i regret getting married. Right now I regret going to China for her. Words cannot describe her treatment of me.... (read in full...)
Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?
Q. Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...
A. 12 June 2012: @harshbutfair: I don't have a dating history outside this woman... I took her to the 3d imax last night. We saw prometheus and she couldn't follow or understand. It was her first time to see the big screen and she was excited at first.
But a... (read in full...)
Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?
Q. Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...
A. 5 June 2012: @mizz.butterflies: ok I might be boring but don't you think that is a poor excuse for ignoring your spouse or not listening to their feelings? The reason why? Check my question history for starters. Last night I finally reached the point where ... (read in full...)
After only 2 months of marriage the arguments are terrible and she is threatening to cheat! Why is she doing this and how do I sort this out?
Q. Great 2 months of unstable marriage. At first I was appreciated. We used to love each other prior to getting married but... In these 2 months, we have had epic arguments, I've been called idiot etc. We had an argument tonight and she went further to ...
A. 1 February 2012: I am absolutely fuming! She walked out the door like a prostitute saying she is going to f**** other guys. Talking like a prostitute. I think tonight is going to end very badly for her. I am so angry that I want to slap her down. Slap her a thousand ... (read in full...)
After only 2 months of marriage the arguments are terrible and she is threatening to cheat! Why is she doing this and how do I sort this out?
Q. Great 2 months of unstable marriage. At first I was appreciated. We used to love each other prior to getting married but... In these 2 months, we have had epic arguments, I've been called idiot etc. We had an argument tonight and she went further to ...
A. 1 February 2012: Weak man?? This man sacrificed 2 years of his life to up and go to China to work and be with this woman! And now that we are back in Australia, I have been trying to take care of her. I get up at 7am to make sure she has breakfast before work, I ... (read in full...)
After only 2 months of marriage the arguments are terrible and she is threatening to cheat! Why is she doing this and how do I sort this out?
Q. Great 2 months of unstable marriage. At first I was appreciated. We used to love each other prior to getting married but... In these 2 months, we have had epic arguments, I've been called idiot etc. We had an argument tonight and she went further to ...
A. 1 February 2012: I can't sleep because of her comment and this time I want to come and collect my things and leave her to find her man.
I am so sorry to all the people that tried to comment and help me. I think it is better to let her go. Let her be free and find... (read in full...)
My friend plans on using her boyfriend as a meal ticket!
Q. This isn't about me but a friend. She's the same age as me, 20, and a sophomore education major. However she sees her boyfriend as a meal ticket and doesn't think she will work after graduation. She actually believes she will get married within the ...
A. 25 January 2012: Well, you may be jumping to conclusions and I think it's harsh to say she is just after a meal ticket. It's not healthy to be in an on again/off again relationship... Now about the issue of getting married young and deciding to be a housewife. ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: It is a gross error of judgement on your part. I personally think it crosses the line and sends out the message that you want to look around instead of being committed to your partner. Do you forget what the word 'committed' means??
If you want... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 25 January 2012: Forgive me for sounding like I was referring to leaving the marriage when I said I was changing focus to entirely job searching... I think it is better to ignore the pushing and anger from my spouse as the events that are precipitating the strain on ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: I checked up on facebook and seen a happily married couple a few years younger than me that seem to be making a real go of it. They didn't have much money to begin with - both were art students. But now they have a young son and they are really ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: Further, the counselor spoke strongly about these women as he deals with intercultural relations. They lose respect of the husband if he is not working. That is difficult for me to swallow because I am used to receiving respect and love from family ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: Yes she is hurting from last night. I made breakfast for her and upon her request, went ahead of time to the train station to buy the ticket. Called her to hurry along. She took the ticket and just walked off...she is always like that when she is ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: The two problems between us:
1. Me: I dislike her overbearing, controlling personality which is taking a long time for her to change. It is slowly softening.
2. Her: she dislikes my unhappy, sensitive and complaining nature.
That's what it bo... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: Finally, I am going post her letter to my mother... In fact both my parents and her think there is a problem with me lying...why? Well I told my parents I would have enough money for our wedding and then work circumstances changed over in China and ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: Thankyou so much for kind words. She still thinks there is something wrong with me which is hurting. She found some bad messages left by mother and assumed that I had been venting again.
I made a mistake with the maps today and she walked in the w... (read in full...)
Tips for time management?
Q. Lets get all the issues out there. I have a huge problem with time management and my lovely wife has decided the way to try and punish me is to be passive agressive. I want to fix the lateness issue. Example tonight was xmas eve. She got dressed ...
A. 25 December 2011: yes! This is a problem that has plagued me all of my life so I am going to ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 9 September 2011: Thankyou for all the support :) Lately things have been really good between us. Save for the fact that she was putting me down and making me feel depressed with the parting shots about how I'm not cool enough, I'm not smart enough, I am too skinny ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: OK I cannot deny what you are saying. It is playing with fire and I don't know where all her hate comes from. Certainly I don't want it directed at me. Agreed that the family doesn't want to lose face. Even though I have only been in China for 2 ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: Umm it's getting worse... now she is messaging me and saying stuff like, "these days u were like a baby..mother forgives u, ok, ".....
I'm really creeped out right about now.... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: janniepeg: thanks again for your input to the questions. I have lost the trust with her now. I think that's going to be permanent. I'm waiting for her to come back. She twisted it around on me and tried to make out like I was the one being immature. ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 14 August 2011: janniepeg thankyou!!!
I'm in a mess at this moment. Where to start, the so-called wife decided to send me a bunch of text messages that have pretty much told me to get lost. Should have seen this coming two years ago. Her mother accident... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 12 August 2011: Further, despite telling me in a cruel way that she has never met a man as stupid as me before, she later tried to apologise for her temper and said that I don't need to change myself and she loves me for who I am.
Up and down, hot and cold. Lo... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 12 August 2011: Actually I just read something which made me sit and recall what was said to me recently. I am strongly inclined to believe the reason she feels bored when she kisses me is because she has lost all emotional and physical connection to me. We have ... (read in full...)
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