| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Followup to post produce
Q. This is a follow up to my post on the 29th August “ Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?” I wanted to thank everyone for backing us up and making us realize we weren’t being harsh for ...
A. 23 September 2023: This makes me so happy! Good for you! And a cheeky cow she is! Do let us know if this happens again... I would love to know her reaction ??... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my friend is jealous?
Q. Does my friend seem jealous? We are both female single never married and in our late 30s. We met because we work together. The other day I asked her about dating and she said she was not interested and was going to focus on work. A couple weeks ...
A. 13 September 2023: You seem a little too invested in this friend. I don't think she's jealous or interested in you, but I think she might find you a little annoying. I know I would. You're work friends but you're sending her pictures of your date, the food etc...if my ... (read in full...)
A for sale sign has caused much tension between neighbors
Q. So I want to start off by saying that I’m not one to suffer with anxiety and I’ve always considered myself strong and able to move on when rubbish happens but something that has happened recently has made me feel quite vulnerable…. I live in...
A. 13 September 2023: Umm yes, you're being a little silly now. There was a minor issue which was sorted and your neighbours were obviously at fault but you can't rush them out because you don't like them! And also you never know how your new neighbours are going to be! ... (read in full...)
After our drunken threesome I had sex with boyfriend's friend
Q. Is it bad I let my boyfriends mate finish inside me in morning. My bf had been talking to me for few months about this, so we finally had a drunken threesome with his friend last night. Everything was fine until we met in toilet early morning , ...
A. 8 September 2023: Oh dear God, I really hope this question is fake! On the off chance that it's not, have you created a mess! You are just 19, involved with a 24 year old guy and had sex with his 33 year old friend...are you sure this isn't some sex racket that these ... (read in full...)
I don't feel wanted sexually
Q. Me and my gf went away for 8 days for my birthday. It was a great time but when I got back I was disappointed that I had to come back home to relieve myself (we are living separate due to distance and jobs, planning to move in next year). She ...
A. 30 August 2023: Yes, there is definitely something going on. If my partner didn't want sex even once in the 8 days that we were on a holiday, I'd be pissed too. Will talking help? I'm not sure because it's like asking someone to love you back when they don't want ... (read in full...)
Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?
Q. My husband and i last year took over my parents allotment. We’ve been very fortunate that we always have an abundance of fresh produce such as lettuce, cucumbers, onions, apples, figs, strawberries, carrots, cabbage etc…. So often we will give ...
A. 30 August 2023: Nope, not being harsh at all. I was going to say the same thing that aunt Honeypie - it would be so much better if you could just donate it to someone who needs it, or a food bank or to elderly people than to ungrateful, mean people like this ... (read in full...)
How to approach neighbor who takes our flowers without asking?
Q. 8 months ago we had a lovely foreign family move in opposite us. The lady is a cake maker and she showed me a portfolio of all her cakes and they look amazing. On a couple of occasions she has asked to use our flowers that we have in our fron...
A. 30 August 2023: People like her absolutely infuriate me! We had a neighbour of ours (she was and is a good friend of my mother's) do the same but my mom was very firm with her. She said that you can ask me once in a while and I'll pluck the flowers that you need ... (read in full...)
Radio silence did I do something wrong?
Q. Hey there, I've got a bit of a situation on my hands that I could use some advice on. There's this amazing girl I've had a massive crush on, and she's a customer at the comic shop where I work. I've always liked her, but since she's a customer...
A. 28 August 2023: You didn't do anything wrong... You sound quite nice, in fact! Here's my 2 cents... She is not (yet) interested in you in the way that you are interested in her. I have a feeling that she doesn't really give you that much of a thought, to be honest ... (read in full...)
My almost fiance's dad is driving me crazy!
Q. I could sure use some advice on relating to my potential future father-in-law. My girl and I are not engaged but that may change soon as I have his permission to propose and am just saving money for the ring. He swears he will keep the secret b...
A. 24 August 2023: I completely agree with the poster who says that you're coming across as a pansy by trying to please him all the time. Just learn to say no. It's more than fine to not have the same interests and levels of fitness as him! He's beating you to the ... (read in full...)
Why is my fwb being so disrespectful
Q. I've been seeing a FWB for sometime. We do things together. Hang out, go out in his boat, go to dinner sometimes. Lately he seems irritated by something. We went to his condo on the beach in his truck. It was really a hot day. I asked if he could ...
A. 19 August 2023: You want a relationship and he doesn't. Well he wins, because you can't force him! Just stop seeing him and there's no point withholding sex from him because you mean nothing to him, emotionally. He's being disrespectful because he doesn't care how ... (read in full...)
Nightmare holiday with friend. Shall I end our friendship?
Q. I have not long returned from a weeks vacation with my friend and I had the most awful time thanks to my so called friend who was behaving like an idiot the whole time! I’ve know her for 8 years- we’ve only been away together for weekends, no...
A. 2 August 2023: You both had different ideas of what this holiday meant. You wanted a more mature holiday while she was just being a teenager all over again. I have a question though, why didn't you go for this holiday abroad with your husband?
To answer your que... (read in full...)
Have we rushed into living together?
Q. My partner moved in with me in April and he’s told me he feels unhappy and hasn’t laughed or joked in ages. He says it’s not me and he’s happy with me but he’s making me doubt the relationship. He’s told me he needs to lose weight and get his ...
A. 2 August 2023: You're questioning the wrong thing. Instead of questioning the relationship, you should be questioning his mental health because it looks like he's depressed. Weight gain, low fitness, constantly down, unhappy, always sleeping, not interested in ... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive over their "marking" of my bakes?
Q. I enjoy baking as a hobby- I’m self taught and often bake for family and friends - I don’t get paid I just enjoy it. On a fair few occasions I have baked cakes and biscuits, cupcakes etc…. For my husbands workplace when they have had charity...
A. 29 July 2023: You're a much more tolerant person than I, if you found this just a "little" rude! I would have nothing to do with these people ever again and I would certainly never bake/cook for them. The audacity to rate your baking when a.) They barely know you ... (read in full...)
What went wrong with our dating? I thought we were doing ok!
Q. I need advice on what went wrong with this guy. We met in April. He totally swept me off my feet I'm talking expensive dates,flowers a love story. He even gave me money when I was in need. It was long distance and he was coming to me every weekend. ...
A. 24 July 2023: You are both equally problematic. How could you accept money from a guy whom you barely know? You then go to meet him knowing that he's hitting on other girls, you're lying down in the bed with him... What did you think would happen? Of course he ... (read in full...)
Competitive cousin is making me jealous!
Q. My cousin and I are the same age (literally a few months apart) and ever since we were small she has always been competitive with me. She’d always want what I had or wanted to do things I did like ballet and swimming and then try to beat...
A. 22 July 2023: Are you seriously jealous of her? Don't you see it?? She's jealous of YOU and has always been! That's why she always tries to upstage you but because she cannot do it in an honorable and "correct" way like you, she just throws money at it and wants ... (read in full...)
Is he done with me? He doesn't say so but his behaviour does.
Q. I met this amazing guy a few months ago. I wasn't interested in him at first, but he had been noticing me. He had feelings for me and he'd been analyzing his feelings for about 3 months before he finally told me about them. He told me he was ...
A. 19 July 2023: So basically whatever he told you was a word salad and pure BS. I don't think he was ever into you and I don't think this guy has his head and heart in the right place. He's not a straightforward person... He's complicated and only he knows what he ... (read in full...)
Why does this couple act this way?
Q. I really don't know what to think of these people's behavior. Can you help me make sense of it? This couple live near me. I have said hello to the lady, just in passing, 3 times (in case she maybe hadn't heard me for some reason). Both her and her...
A. 18 July 2023: Why think about it enough to let it bother you? They're strange and you should just behave like they don't exist. I personally keep a safe distance from my neighbours and I have the same policy as Aunt Mystiquek. A quick nod and a "hi" but that's ... (read in full...)
How would I even broach the topic of attempting to rekindle something with someone who once hurt me?
Q. Hi there - I have a situation who I don’t know who else to speak to about it. 3 years ago I was in a relationship with someone who I genuinely fell in love with. He had a lot of maturing to do and couldn’t quite seem to get to the point of saying he ...
A. 16 July 2023: Personally, I'd never get back with an ex, no matter how much love was there, because they are an ex for a reason. In this case, a girl was the catalyst... It started with this girl and then snowballed into a whole lot of issues, so much so that you ... (read in full...)
Does he like me more than friends?
Q. I am really bad at picking up signs if a guy likes me. This guy we meet up monthly for a gaming community event with friends, and this is how we met. We mostly talk online because there is a 2-3 hour drive between us. I know it would be better taken ...
A. 8 July 2023: It's hard to say if he likes you or not but what I can say, is this. Do stay safe on the internet and don't give out personal information because if it falls into the wrong hands, then you could be in a LOT of trouble. ... (read in full...)
He uses my secrets against me
Q. How do you deal with a bf who uses your secrets against you? We've been together about 2 years. Whenever he argues which is quite abit he decides to throw things on my face. For example I ruined all my relationships and I can't keep a man, I'm ...
A. 8 July 2023: Who says these things to someone they claim they love? No one does. Which means he doesn't love you, care about your feelings or cherish you in any way. Dump him immediately, if not sooner, and block him for GOOD.... (read in full...)
Disruptive family at gym!
Q. ? ? ? ? ?Last year my friend and I joined the gym. We would attended classes as well as use the equipment. About 2 months after we joined a family of 5 also joined (we think they are mothers and daughters and niece and aunt) and ...
A. 2 July 2023: I think you need to put your foot down. This is your chance to show yourself what you're made of. You're NOT a coward, you have just assumed you are. How about you take a stand? It will do you good, not just for the gym but will give you some much ... (read in full...)
Is he done with me? He doesn't say so but his behaviour does.
Q. I met this amazing guy a few months ago. I wasn't interested in him at first, but he had been noticing me. He had feelings for me and he'd been analyzing his feelings for about 3 months before he finally told me about them. He told me he was ...
A. 2 July 2023: Your follow-up put a lot of things into perspective because I now understand that your reaction to your friend's question was not an overreaction to that one question but it was a cumulative effect of all the things that she had been saying about ... (read in full...)
I don't want to act jealous
Q. My FWB let his ex wife watch his cats while he was away. He has 4. I wasn't available. She stayed at his home 3 weeks while he was away, and I'm fine with that. She left pieces of clothing and incidentals in his home. She wants to pick them up she ...
A. 2 July 2023: You're an FWB, he doesn't owe you anything. You can "be" ok, not ok, whatever- that depends on you. But you can't ask him for an explanation or demand fidelity because he's your FWB. ... (read in full...)
Does he see us s friends?
Q. I have being friends with a guy for the past 4 years. He’s 26 and I’m 31. We originally worked together as flight attendants and on our first trip, we just hit it off. It was like we’d known each other for years. We messaged a lot, have good banter, ...
A. 15 June 2023: I don't think he sees you as anything. You're not a friend because there's no friendship as such. You casually text and them go a long time without any communication, but if he cared for friendship, he would have made the extra effort, which he ... (read in full...)
Is he a psychopath?
Q. I met him 3 years ago and fell madly in love. He was my first everything. At first he was sweet, we would talk for hours everyday. After the first year, things changed completely. He reaches out to say something so affectionate (i'm a woman he can't ...
A. 13 June 2023: You know there's a "block" feature on your phone, right? Use it.... (read in full...)
I want to end things but think that would be stupid
Q. I'm in a relationship, where I'm older than her for 3 years. Even in my past relationships, I've had the feeling of being uncomfortable, like I'm having trouble breathing. I DO love her, we've been together for 3 months, and she loves me a lot too, ...
A. 29 May 2023: I'm guessing what you're trying to say is that you feel claustrophobic in the relationship. Well that's the sign that this relationship is not for you, or any relationship for that matter, right now. You're both too young anyway to be tied down by ... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for taking two out of three of my vacations to adult only vacations
Q. I have a brother, a sister-in-law, a niece and a nephew. I am single and I usually go on vacations as a solo traveler. Last two summers, my brother and his family invited themselves on my vacation. They then did things and tried to get me to bab...
A. 28 May 2023: Why is it any of their business to comment on how and where you decide to take vacations? Your life, your money, your decision! I feel you are all too involved in each other's lives. Do what you want, you don't owe anyone an explanation ... (read in full...)
Niece behaves badly but family thinks it’s ok!!
Q. I would like to know if anyone in here has experienced similar to what I’m about to post. I’m completely flummoxed how everyone in my family seems to think this is ok…. My niece (my brothers daughter) is almost 6 years old and as she is the on...
A. 28 May 2023: You're right.... It's none of your business how she's raised and as much as you want, you can't do anything about it. Her parents decide how to deal with her and you have no say in the matter. You can maybe bring this up with your brother but I ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends past behavior has made me feel like I've checked out of the relationship
Q. I'm unsure if I should leave my boyfriend of 6 years. We're very different people but it works. We have very similar values and I think that's why we've been together for so long. He's a lot more of a going out to clubs type than me, whereas m...
A. 28 May 2023: It's posts like yours which reminds me of the old Dear Cupid.... Well written and coming from someone sensible who needs genuine advice.
As I said, you sound like a very mature and sensible person who has her life pretty much figured out. You... (read in full...)
The sex used to be incredible but now I have lost interest. Can I ever get it back?
Q. I had an affair with a married man. He left his wife and now we are married. We have been married for 2 years. The problem is that I feel I need to keep being a mistress to this man. It feels like if I get too real or drop the ball sexually, h...
A. 21 September 2022: "I don’t know how to be in a “normal” relationship with him." That's because it never *was* a normal relationship. I think you got what you wanted and you've now lost the thrill of the chase. He's suddenly not as exciting anymore. It could also be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend still speaks to his ex
Q. Background context; my boyfriend has told me he still occasionally speaks to his ex girlfriend via social media. They broke up nearly 3 years ago, mostly due to the distance (she’s Canadian, he lives in the UK). Although it was quite a volatile ...
A. 11 July 2022: Ask yourself the following questions and there are just two options as answers. Yes or No. There is no maybe.
Do you trust him?
Is this the man who you see yourself getting married to in the future?
Is talking to his ex an absolute deal ... (read in full...)
He touches me, but does he like me?
Q. I have a best friend who is a guy. We were together for a long time since the time we met. Since sometime we were sitting together for classes and when he or i feel asleep we stroke each other with our hands. just rubbing the hands together was ...
A. 13 March 2022: I somehow find this inappropriate and creepy. Touching someone without their consent is wrong. Full stop. Please put an end to this immediately. This guy isn't a friend, he's a predator. ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but I don't know if I should be with him
Q. Hello, I am having some really hard thoughts about my marriage and no one seems to understand. I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 8 years but we got married this summer (August 19th 2021). We live in his parents house. I wa...
A. 22 October 2021: I'm not sure I understand you. You were with this guy for 8 years, you decided to marry him and you got so busy planning the wedding that you don't know if you actually love him? I don't think this even makes sense! Did you marry him just to look ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to get pregnant by his gay friend
Q. I have been with my husband for 3.5 years, but we've been together for 9 years in total. The big issue here is kids, we both want them, yet my husband has other ideas about how and it's caused arguments. He wants me to sleep with his frien...
A. 22 October 2021: My God if this isn't a deal breaker then I don't know what is! Your husband doesn't want to impregnate you and is ok with you having sex with a gay man in order to have a child? I think the divorce order writes itself!... (read in full...)
Do I confront my cousin or leave it?
Q. In 2019 my husband and I got married. We had a very lavish wedding costing us around £50,000. We both worked extremely hard for a couple of years and made lots of sacrifices to be able to pay for it- we didn’t have any handouts. My cous...
A. 25 September 2021: Let it be. She's jealous of you and obviously not the nice person you thought that she was. Only a bitter, insecure, jealous, spiteful person would speak like this about someone so close to them. Don't try to contact her anymore, she's chosen to ... (read in full...)
What is a deal breaker for you?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I would like to know, in your opinion, what is a deal breaker for you? I understand that being in a relationship should be about feelings, connection, and love. Money or materials should not play a big part in a relation...
A. 23 September 2021: The only thing that's wrong with you is that you have never said no to him. That you've never set your foot down. That you've allowed yourself to be exploited by him.
Read your own post OP. I don't think you need anyone to give you any advice for ... (read in full...)
How do I end things without him going psycho?
Q. I went out with a guy that i met online twice, and am really not feeling him. He's not my usual type, but we are in the same profession and have a lot of common interests, so I took a chance on him. He has already mentioned liking me, thinks w...
A. 15 September 2021: Don't be alone with him when you break up. Take a friend along and do it in a public place. Keep it short and simple. Don't offer any explanations. Block his number and delete him from social media. ... (read in full...)
My wife was crying on our wedding day because she was thinking about her ex!!
Q. I got married almost a month ago. My wife and I have been together for three years and known each other for five. She had just gotten out of a seven year relationship when we met. He was her first love and they broke up because he was on drugs and ...
A. 31 August 2021: OP I have to be honest with you... This is an absolute nightmare of a situation for you or for anyone to be in.
Could I make this work if I were you? No way. And I think your wife is a terrible person for even telling you this...I mean what the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I worked for same company. He got fired and is now pressuring me to quit
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner for almost two years, were engaged. I work for a pretty good company I actually got him hired were I worked. I have been with the company for 3 years. The company I work put me in a manager training class w...
A. 31 August 2021: I don't really know what you're asking here. Are you asking if you should follow this idiot's orders and quit the job that you love or are you asking if you should leave him?
Quit- No. And I don't think that as a professional young woman who has ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I worked for same company. He got fired and is now pressuring me to quit
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner for almost two years, were engaged. I work for a pretty good company I actually got him hired were I worked. I have been with the company for 3 years. The company I work put me in a manager training class w...
A. 31 August 2021: I don't really know what you're asking here. Are you asking if you should follow this idiot's orders and quit the job that you love or are you asking if you should leave him?
Quit- No. And I don't think that as a professional young woman who has ... (read in full...)
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