I just can’t stop thinking I’m betraying her!
Q. About a year and a half back I went to a online school. Now I meet one girl in one of my classes and we started taking usually for 1 or 2 hours a day, however soon it grew to like 9 hours per day sometimes more, in the one year time period I got to ...
A. 29 January 2019: You're not cheating on her. Worrying about her as a friend is one thing, and really nice of you might I add. But that does not mean that you can't have other friends or date other people, since you're clearly not in a relationship.
Being availabl... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep coming in and out of my life?
Q. I posted a thread about an ex who lives 4 hours away and we were on and off for few years...then broke it off for good because he met someone closer.I was devastated and told him we should go seperate ways. He recently came back in my life only ...
A. 9 October 2016: You should move on.. talking to him is one thing, but i suggest you dont reciprocate to him. I agree with N91.. he simply doesnt want you to forget him. Also for some people, its an ego boost to get their ex to reciprocate to them. Once they have ... (read in full...)
I need help with a fading relationship, please? Can I make him happy again?
Q. Dear Cupid, I started talking to my current boyfriend early on in the year. We talked all the time and everything was perfect - we made each other happy, nothing ever went wrong and we trusted and understood each other. We started going out...
A. 10 September 2016: I really think you just give yourself some time away from this guy.Distance, is usually the best answer to weigh your options. You don't to take any sudden actions, but just start focusing more on yourself than what he has with this other girl or ... (read in full...)
Would counselling and therapy help, after all this time? My son thinks so. Any advice please?
Q. I know this may be looking like a sort of what if situation that I am having thirty years later, but this is not the case. Trust me. I have been thinking about her every single day and night for the last two to three decades and I know that I can'...
A. 16 August 2016: I think its a very good idea, and i'm sure people will like to hear about your progress.
I am happy and proud of you:)
Keep going, one thing at a time :)
Wish you the very best :)... (read in full...)
How can I combat these rumours?
Q. Recently a male friend of mine became my worst enemy when I turned down his proposal. Now he is spreading false rumours of the kind that I was in love with him. What shall I do?...
A. 15 August 2016: Ignore and laugh about it... Its not worth the time :) These things keep happening. If you give it too much importance it will only escalate. If someone asks you just laugh about it and be like "really, I had no idea" ;) Don't worry too much. ... (read in full...)
I really do want to stop hurting my husband and my lover's wife. But how can I stop?
Q. If you want to judge, please stop reading this right now. I need advice, not lectures. I have been married for nearly 20 years now, no kids. I have never felt the need to seek fulfillment elsewhere since me and my husband have been truly happy...
A. 15 August 2016: Well first of all you need to have that "talk". I'm sure it's amazing and everything, but you really need to know where this is heading. If it's just amazing cuz of the secrecy and the excitement of getting together. If it's not just this change t... (read in full...)
Do I go for mr A or mr B ??
Q. im in a bit of a pickle . Ok theres 2 guys one can be A and the other B . A is an old distant friend weve both liked each other for years but didnt think the other felt the same , were finally going on a date tonight hes perfect apart from he do...
A. 13 August 2016: I don't know if you should go with A or not. But personally I won't go out with B so easily. Especially considering that he cancels all the time. If he hasn't been able to make time for you, im not sure if you should make time for him. Unless of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me feel terrible about choosing something or someone else over spending time with him
Q. My boyfriend and I always plan to hang out on certain days of the week. But sometimes, other things come up that I would like to go to. It comes to the point where I miss out on events and outings because I know he'll have a fit if I'm not there ...
A. 13 August 2016: You are not wrong in what you feel. As Ivyblue stated, unless you're doing it repeatedly at the last minute then there's an issue. Otherwise, it's not only okay, but you need to have seperate lives. You need to spend time with your family and ... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 10 August 2016: I think its time for you to get him out of your house.. now!
There are so many questions I want to ask. But while I understand the state you are in and I know its difficult, but if your relationship has ended why is he even sharing the same bed.... (read in full...)
Would counselling and therapy help, after all this time? My son thinks so. Any advice please?
Q. I know this may be looking like a sort of what if situation that I am having thirty years later, but this is not the case. Trust me. I have been thinking about her every single day and night for the last two to three decades and I know that I can'...
A. 10 August 2016: I agree with Aunty Bimbim. We need more information. But I also suggest you listen to your son and seek therapy. It might be good for you. :) ... (read in full...)
I just want to be happy for my sister, not jealous!
Q. So this could end up making me seem like a mean person so if that happens I apologize in advance. So I got a text today from my older sister announcing that she is pregnant. We've had a rocky relationship for the past 8 years,she's made some pre...
A. 27 July 2016: I'm so sorry for your lose.
It's okay to feel what you feel.
But here's the thing, I understand how you feel about your relation with your sister. I really do.
It's only natural to feel the lil pang of jealousy. But if you really want to be h... (read in full...)
How do I bear this deep hurt?
Q. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this to help. How do you move forwards after your husband has betrayed your trust? He has, in my eyes, emotionally cheated on me with another woman who he messaged more than he's bothered messaging me in ...
A. 11 July 2016: i know it hurts very hard and right now all you need is comfort. But since you have asked for what to do..
So you need to think why he started relying for the tad bit of fun on some other woman. Now, I'm not saying it's your fault. Life happens and ... (read in full...)
All I think of when his name is mentioned is anger and hate!
Q. I had a bad breakup with my ex boyfriend in 2014 December before new year's eve. We dated for four months before the break up. I was not happy with him because he wanted to take my virginity even when i told him many times politely that i was not ...
A. 23 June 2016: For the anger and hate to go away you need to realise that you took the right decision dear. I agree with brownwolf. You cannot be in contact with this person. If you think that makes it better, trust me it doesn't. Trust your decision and keep no ... (read in full...)
Help ! What should I do? He treats me like someone he wants to string along
Q. I was with a relationship for 2 years. A few months ago i found out he had been two- timing me with his ex (i was apparently the side chick). I broke up. He pursued her like a crazed stalker for a month but she left him for good. Then he came for...
A. 19 June 2016: Break all contact with him.
He is not going to change, neither are you.
Yes he is stringing you along and you need to break up.. now! and not look back again.
Please do that for yourself. It's not worth it.
It will never be. It might hurt and f... (read in full...)
When I asked for what I need and in response he broke up with me. How do I get over this?
Q. My bf broke with me unexpectedly Last week we were texting and after a couple of months of being in a relationship and me doing everything he wants The second I asked for some one on one time he had the epiphany that we don't see things eye t...
A. 11 June 2016: hey there.. I can really understand how you feel.. But honestly, you are talking about the problem yourself. You were sort of kissing his arse, following his schedule and doing what he wanted. After that of course no one wants someone who is going... (read in full...)
I regret texting a girl while I was drunk! How to recover this?
Q. I started dating a girl few weeks ago, we really liked each other, she is 4 years younger than me , she is very decent, nice and has a great personality, the thing is she is super busy with her full time job and her master degree , she also has ...
A. 11 April 2016: go and meet her face to face. Sending a text for an apology just won't do. Face her and be sincere... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my teacher, what will happen ?
Q. Hello,so I will start by saying this isn't a sordid affair. I am 21 and have been at university for two years. (I started at 19, as I had a gap year) Anyway, I have been dating this guy (who is much older than me) since June 6th 2015, so nearly ...
A. 20 March 2016: If everyone knows, you shouldn't care about the gossip. As to why people care, some people just have a tendency to talk about other's people's life, it's sort of in their nature.
But if you act guilty, you only supply them more reasons to goss... (read in full...)
My negative and weird boyfriend makes me wonder if I could live my whole life with him
Q. My bf is so negative and downright weird. Like I know I have my own issuse that I'm dealing with a pyschologist, bt his shit is next level. Everytime he gets mad, he'll either insult me, break up with me or tell me he'll take the wii from me bec he ...
A. 17 March 2016: Don't deal with it. Plain and simple. No point being with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
... (read in full...)
My alcoholic ex wants us to be a couple again. I love him but am very confused
Q. Last year I decided that in order to help my ex sort this drinking out, I had to leave him instead of letting him get away with it all the time. Now he wasn't an alcoholic, more of a binge drinker which meant he would be away from work for a few d...
A. 17 March 2016: As much as you care for him, you are not responsible for his drinking problem. It's not right for you to stay along just because he might have a relapse. If he can be sober without you, then you can consider being with him again. Otherwise, trust ... (read in full...)
We can have a family - but only if he gets his dreams first. What to do?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost seven years. We got engaged a year ago but no plans on a wedding yet. Over the years we have talked about children - we discussed it very early on that it was something we both wanted. Over the last year or so ...
A. 16 March 2016: You really need to talk to your fiance. Minus this new development I think it's okay to assume you have had a good relationship, considering your 7 years. But here's the thing, having children isn't another thing on the to-do list or somethin... (read in full...)
Good connection but he stopped initiating. Did he suddenly lose interest?
Q. I posted last week but would appreciate some further advice. I don't have much dating experience especially post-school and I think I'm having a hard time. I've been on 6-7 days with a wonderful guy and we have an amazing connection. I thought we ...
A. 16 March 2016: I think you need to just take your time. Don't jump in or judge too quickly.
He might be holding back cuz he thinks he is jumping in too quickly. You never know. And it's too soon to tell. It's just a week.
I suggest you take it slow and see wher... (read in full...)
Why do some people like my boyfriend feel the need to embellish the truth or just outright lie?
Q. Have been with my boyfriend six years, all is very good except one thing, his bad habit of telling silly lies. He knows how much I detest lying yet still keeps doing it, he doesn't lie about anything important so I don't get it, what is the point! I ...
A. 14 March 2016: It's a silly habit a lot of people develop while growing up. Most people don't even realise that they have developed that habit. So, it's not really easy to tell someone not to do it. It's like telling someone you are around the block while you are ... (read in full...)
Were my initial instincts are right here, after our first date? Or should I wait a bit longer?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks in advance for your help. I've not been single for very long so I'm needing a little bit of help working out what I should do here. So I went on a first date last Saturday and I thought it went well. We both seemed a bit ner...
A. 12 February 2016: I would suggest to wait it out... Take some time..
And don't overthink it :)
Good luck... (read in full...)
My husband's behavior gives me migraine headaches
Q. I have been married for five years and recently developed migraine headache. The unfortunate part is apart from inadequate sleep, my husband is always the migraine headache trigger. He can be nasty and moody at times and this causes a reaction in ...
A. 10 February 2016: You need to tell him that he does that to you. And if he doesn't care enough, you can decide what you want to do next.
Also, you should try to not let others emotions bother you enough to trigger your migraine.. give yourself a break. Go on a vaca... (read in full...)
Guy touched butt on 1st date. Will he not call me again because of how I reacted?
Q. I went on a first date with a guy on Saturday. He was nice but he touched my butt.Not grabbed, but knowingly touched it. Aafter we kissed, he tapped it. Not slapped it but tapped it with his hand. Nervously, i didn't know how to react and didnt ...
A. 10 February 2016: If he likes you then he will come back. On the other hand if he makes you uncomfortable and he was interested in just a quick hook up, I think you save yourself trouble if he doesn't contact you. I don't see that as a "blown up chance".
If he can ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 years cheated, broke up with me and now is dating the woman he cheated on me with. I'm not coping well
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, with our relationship ending about 3 months ago. I had always thought my boyfriend was a great man and a great partner, but he really did me dirty towards the end and also after our break up. He ended up ...
A. 9 February 2016: Honestly I don't really know if you could have done something or not. It's only one side of the story afterall.
But what I really do suggest that it's time for you to move on. That's what your bf seems to have done. To me it appears like he is a je... (read in full...)
Why do I only attract creepy men?
Q. Hi, so I'm 23 year old, and I've never been kissed or had a boyfriend, but that's not the point of this post. It might help you all understand my situation. I live in a big city so it's quite normal to get a bit of street harassment. But I hav...
A. 31 January 2016: There is nothing you can honestly do except ignore them. Here's the thing, only creepy men leave you feeling creeped out. The nicer men out there, have a tendency to make you feel beautiful or at the very least not let you realise or make you feel ... (read in full...)
My partner abuses me and accuses me of cheating!
Q. i am in a relationship but my partner always suspect me just because before i did some mistakes like my ex dont told him but within 2 month i told him that i have allredy in relational but this not good relation thats i dont told you he always abuse ...
A. 7 January 2016: i think you should leave him..n get out of this relation.. an abusive partner can't b a good thing... it might seem hard right nw.. but it will get better... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and still a teenager and at university, what should I do?
Q. Okay so I think I'm pregnant and I'm petrified. I still live at home with my parents and I have a long term boyfriend but we're both at university and if I tell him I'm pregnant I don't want him to drop out even though I'll have to because I don't ...
A. 7 January 2016: what do you mean you think you are pregnant?? first.. take a test and confirm it.. then you can go ahead and think further....
I do suggest that after confirming, first you will have to decide for yourself if you are ready to have a child.. ... (read in full...)
I can't move on after being ripped off by my brother!
Q. Hello cupids, I have often read many columns here and advice of how loss is a part of life and I am well aware of that fact. When I graduated from university in 2013, I thought I had the plan of my life all set up. My parents are seperated(never ...
A. 6 January 2016: breaking family ties is something i wont suggest... but i do just being more careful around your brother especially with your stuff.. i also just caution in the future, in case he tries to rip you off again... he might be d one needing help... ... (read in full...)
OUCH! I find I have been viewing my lovely family through rose tintd glasses!
Q. I grew up surrounded by family. Until the past few months I believed them to be a close-knit unit, but as I get older I've discovered many of my ideas surrounding my family were rose-tinted and the underlying problems and arguments were hidden from ...
A. 6 January 2016: I know how you feel... but honestly, you need to let it go. There are somethings you can't get in between.. you need to let them be and do what you think best. Leave the actual matter to the people it concerns. I know how you want to protect your ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know my real age!
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month and hes 28 and doesnt know my real age...i really want to tell him but im afraid if i tell him i will lose him ...he thinks im 30 but really im 36 and i cant live a lie anymore like this ...can any of you aunties ...
A. 5 January 2016: i'm sorry but you're just gonna have to take a chance. what i don't understand is why didn't you correct him the first time he mentioned thinking you are 30... anyway, you can't change that.. so just buck up the courage and find a way to bring it ... (read in full...)
I trust him but I don't trust his really attractive female friend
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship and although we've not been together for very long i love him,but i feel myself getting jealous of other girls already. It all started when he told me about his "good friend", that's like a sister to him. At the time i d...
A. 29 December 2015: I think you should keep trusting him. If he was interested in her he would be with her, but he is with you. Find comfort in that thought and enjoy your relationship instead of being jealous. Jealousy might only result in unnecessary discomfort for ... (read in full...)
I feel like she got me to fall in love with her but now she's backing out
Q. I met a girl at work and it became apparent after a couple of weeks that we liked eachother. She had literally just split with her ex of four years. After expressing to eachother that we liked eachother we kissed and things were good. We went out ...
A. 29 December 2015: i think you should give her some time to figure things out... I'm not saying what she is doing is right or wrong.. but all I can suggest is if she wants to figure things out, the best way to play it out is to let her be for sometime.. meanwhile you ... (read in full...)
Do couples go through stages where they don't have sex?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. At first, sex was great. It was passionate and it happened often. Now my boyfriend never seems to want sex. What makes me confused is that we still have great chemistry, great conversa...
A. 30 November 2015: While I do agree with honeypie, I do have to tell you that I'm just coming out of that phase.. and me n my bf have been together for over a year now.. While it's your bf who isn't interested, in my relation, it was me. It's not that I had lost ... (read in full...)
Feeling very protective about her. How can I make sure that she feels the same way I do emotionally?
Q. ok so for the past 5months my gf and i have been going out. It started off ok and is better now but see im an overly protective guy so i dont like it when shes with other guys, even if they're my friends, because i just cant risk losing her to some ...
A. 16 November 2015: The best way to not lose her is to make her feel comfortable, even if it means her talking to other guys. Your insecurities might drive her away. You need to remember that even if she is talking to someone else, she is your gf. :) Trust is ... (read in full...)
Should I be bothered? Does he want a girlfriend or a house-cleaner?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We are both in our 30's, never married before and have no children. We live about 40 mins apart. Here is what bothers me. His house is quite dirty from having 2 large dogs(160LBS) inside that ...
A. 16 November 2015: Unfortunately..thats exactly what he is treating you as...
I suggest having a clear conversation with him rather than speculating. If you hurt his feelings you can apologise and tell him you do not like being treated that way.
In my opinion i... (read in full...)
How do I make peace with my father in law?
Q. My wife and I have two kids (4yrs and 1yr). We separated a year ago. We were having constant arguments which turned physical a few times. We have recently started to communicate. We both have taken our times and have gone through separate ...
A. 15 November 2015: There's no particular way to go about it. A straight forward and sincere apology, is what you need to do. No beating about the bush.
I few don'ts would be to not try to point out anyone else's faults. Stick to your mistakes and apologise and tell... (read in full...)
Should I quit school and get a second job?
Q. I am in a bit of a dilemma. I work full time and take college classes full time. My days are 'split' my classes are in the early morning - to early afternoon time, and I work a 2-10PM shift at my job. The problem is I need more money. I ...
A. 15 November 2015: A very honest suggestion, struggle it out. See if you can get a job that pays you more than your current job. But don't quit school. It's probably gonna help you loads in the future.
A few more months of struggle could mean peace later. Give you... (read in full...)
His new girlfriend is making trouble for me
Q. When I broke up with my ex boyfriend in the summer, totally unintentionally I ended up having a short of fling with a guy who I had known for a while. I hadn't wanted a relationship but we went out with a group of friends and it went from there. We ...
A. 15 November 2015: I can understand how annoying it can be especially with all the random stares.
Don't let yourself get hurt. Keep your head high, cuz you haven't done anything wrong. If you just shrug when people ask you eventually they are gonna find somethin... (read in full...)
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