My girlfriend lied about her sexual past. How do I trust her?
Q. I have been dating this girl for four years now and have asked about past relationships with guys in the beginning of our relationship . She had told me that she slept with three guys, two boyfriends and a friend, when telling me about her ...
A. 12 August 2018: Grow up. Just grow up, let her go, don't ask any future partners something that's genuinely none of your business, and learn to be a decent human being.... (read in full...)
I was insensitive and hurt my g/f. She broke up with me and I don't know how to make it up to her
Q. My ex broke up with me yesterday. She was my first relationship after 4 years. I was her first boyfriend. Weve been together for 3 months and in that time span ive already made her cry 5 times.She's such a sweet and pure girl. She gave me all her ...
A. 3 August 2018: Let it go and be nicer to the next one.
That's all you need to do. There will be others- just be as decent a guy as you can without being a wimp. And figuring out how to balance on that tightrope is the beginning of a lifetime's labour, so get t... (read in full...)
How do you get comfortable giving oral sex?
Q. Sorry for the rather graphic sex details but I just don't know what to do. Recently started dating for the first time and have started being intimate together these past couple months (also a first). Technically we've "had sex" but it's mostly ...
A. 3 August 2018: When you're ready, it will happen. If not, not. You may react differently to another guy.
My wife of 12 years has no problem with oral sex, and enjoys performing it very much but I left the decision as to if and when entirely to her. Admitted... (read in full...)
I'm too shy to tell my boyfriend that some dominant sex acts are painful to me
Q. My boyfriend have always been into dominant sex. Recently, he was asking me to slap him during sex, i found it really odd but i did anyways. We do love each other, however, his dominance in bed is sometimes painful. Im too shy to tell him to calm ...
A. 28 July 2018: BDSM is something you do WITH someone, never TO someone.
As with any relationship, if your personalities line up, and your kinks do as well, you have a chance. Your present scenario is unhealthy because this is not the case.
Break it off ... (read in full...)
We have slept together on several occasions but now he says he sees us as friends?
Q. I’d been seeing someone for about 3 months, still obviously early days but I really liked him and I made quite a big step by sleeping with him (due to bad experiences). Anyway about 2 weeks ago he got ill and has been recovering since, he’s okay but ...
A. 28 July 2018: Unfortunately, although I've experienced exceptions myself, generally 'Man loves before, Woman loves afterwards'. Please be kind to yourself and move on.... (read in full...)
I overheard my wife saying that her ex was the best sex she'd ever had and now my ego is shattered!
Q. So my ego has been devastated and I really don’t know how to handle this. Turns out I’m not the best sex my wife has ever had. Any advice is appreciated. About a week ago my wife had one of her friends at our house for some drinks. After ha...
A. 17 July 2018: In the 80s I had a wild affair with one of the girls sharing the apartment. We were both mid-twentysomethings; she was very presentable in the extreme, I was still built like a boy, though an adult and 'enthusiastically formed' in a way her ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with insecurity while he's abroad?
Q. I've been in relationship almost 2 years with a man of 60 year old, we have 16 year of age difference. We used to work in the same work place. 2-month-ago he was relocated temporarily to a country where his ex lives permanently. He is a ...
A. 16 June 2018: He's younger than I am, and I can tell you the act itself starts to mean less and less as a man ages even if a man can still 'function'. It's no longer seen as self-affirmation. As Hamlet says as he confronts his mother Gertrude over her ... (read in full...)
Where is the panty liner, will he think me disgusting if he finds it?
Q. Before me and this guy had sex I went to use the bathroom and I removed my pantyliner. The pantyliner was clean as I recently put it on but his trash was overflowing so I decided to just wrap it up and put it in my pocket and throw it away when i ...
A. 16 June 2018: Forgot my login, but recalled it. This was my answer...
'About 15 years ago in London I was flatmates with a thoroughly loathsome girl, a self-absorbed nasty drunk who was genuinely impossible to get along with no matter how pleasant I tried to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't approve of my modeling career!
Q. My partner and I live together, we had an argument last night. He is 25 and I’m 23, I am pursuing a modeling career that is just taking off but he doesn’t approve the photoshoots; last week it was because the photographers are men and he feels ...
A. 19 March 2018: My wife fills in between ballet gigs with life modeling for art classes and (better paid than that) solo or G/G photoshoots. It's her business and I'd never think of interfering.
Drop this neanderthal. It shouldn't be difficult for to find som... (read in full...)
Do you consider girl on girl action cheating?
Q. I am in a relationship for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend is out of the country most of the time. We are apart for months. I love him and I have never had sex wit another man nor have I ever kissed someone else. I haven't even flirted with another ...
A. 19 March 2018: You could always include him. All men wonder about that sort of thing, and at least when he falls asleep you'll have someone to talk to. ... (read in full...)
I am thinking of losing my virginity to a stranger.
Q. Is it a good idea to lose my virginity to a complete stranger? I just broke up with ny bf and I was planning on just making out with another guy but things might escalate....
A. 19 March 2018: Virginity's not something to lose, but rather yours to give. So bestow it on someone worthy.... (read in full...)
She says her married boyfriend will get jealous if we have sex.
Q. I met this girl, after speaking for weeks, we met for casual sex. It was great and she seemed to be enjoying it. We were probably busy for 2-3 hours. She even asked me to whip her, first time for me but she enjoyed it. She was good and was eager to ...
A. 10 March 2018: You're being played. This is classic manipulative behaviour. It seems she's having her cake and eating it too- some people would rather be lusted after than loved- usually the psychological province of men but certainly some women indulge in that ... (read in full...)
Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...
A. 18 January 2018: You can do a LOT better. Drop him, and be strong with it. It's far better to be alone than in an abusive relationship with someone who's about as sensitive as coarse sandpaper. And believe me, as a straight male, the term 'sensitive' is not one I ... (read in full...)
Should I be open to casual sex to gain experience?
Q. I am a 25 yr old male with a problem in dating/sex I cant figure out. I am finishing medical school this year. I put in a lot of work/long hours to get where I am. I go to the gym try new hobbies etc. I was shy in high school,got better in...
A. 17 January 2018: At the risk of garnering the hatred of all too many of the 'aunties' here, gain experience in any way you can. You're still a young man, and I learned the inexperience I unfortunately displayed in my own younger days taught me that women hate ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty I missed hen do
Q. Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...
A. 12 December 2017: As a last friendly gesture, just console her sympathetically with a straight face when she divorces. I suspect, given her general demeanor, that a marital schism won't take too long. ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty I cheated on my boyfriend with his boss
Q. I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years and I’m beyond happy with him. The other night, we were fighting and I ended up leaving our apartment and just going for a drive when I stopped at the gas station and saw his ...
A. 6 December 2017: I'm not going to judge you, but rather the older man who slept with an employees's girlfriend in the back of a truck. Very classy on his part on both counts; you were regrettably swept along.
You'll only ruin things if you can't keep it a secret... (read in full...)
Does this married man fancy me?
Q. Does this matried man just like me or do you think he wants more? Reasons I think he does: Caught him staring at me and he smiled and shook his head a little. Saw him looking out of the corner of my eye and when I turned my head he averted his ...
A. 6 February 2017: He's married, so are you, and I strongly suggest you find yourself another obsession.... (read in full...)
She had sex with somebody else when we were apart, I can't get over it!
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. I had serious commitment issues and after being together for just under a year and a half I pushed her away and subsequently she withdrew. While we were apart I have never been in more emotional ...
A. 3 February 2017: Do the decent thing and let her go. And if this situation happens with the next one, do the same thing, until you realise what you're doing to them. ... (read in full...)
My wife is not interested in group sex. How can I stop having an urge to participate in group sex? I need to stop these urges, but how?
Q. I have always fantasized about group sex. While there is nothing unusual about this, I'mean worried that the degree to which I want it is harmful. My wife and I have been married for twenty years and about a decade ago I decided that it was my o...
A. 21 December 2016: I'll be 61 very soon, and over the years I've had a few M/F/F threesomes. They were all for free rather than a commercial transaction. One occurred at a fetish club, one in a hotel on my 42nd birthday (two very attractive but crazy girls), another ... (read in full...)
Girl I am seeing had affair with a man who later became her step-father. Am I being over sensitive about this?
Q. Hi all, I am wondering if you can provide a sounding board. I'll be brief. I met a girl on an internet site. She is from Eastern Europe. I live in US. Let's call her R. We got to talking for a few months and things seemed great. Then R. tol...
A. 10 August 2016: You haven't mentioned that you've ever encountered her in the flesh. If you've not met her IRL, or haven't SKYPED, it doesn't matter. She may not even be female. ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher , I can't control my feelings
Q. Ok I can't handle it anymore! I am 17 and I have just finished my first year of college (this is high school for people that live in America) and there's this teacher he is super attractive he is in his mid to late 20s. Since the first day I met hi...
A. 10 August 2016: An actual ex-teacher's perspective: By the time your summer holiday is over and you see him again, I strongly suspect that it will have all blown over, and you'll be wondering what in Heaven's name all the fuss was about. In 1985 I was in my very... (read in full...)
I can't decide if he deserves a second chance!
Q. I had been talking to this guy for 2 months. I met him on Tinder and he is 4 years older than me. I'm 19 and he is 23. Towards the end of the 2 months, for 3 weeks we talked all day and all night. There are multiple days where we fell asleep on the ...
A. 13 March 2016: If you haven't met him face to face you have no relationship. Go out, meet real males IRL and be a lot more human. ... (read in full...)
I found feminine toiletries in his bathroom!
Q. I have been on a couple of dates with this guy and yesterday i had dinner at his house and i found womens body sparys and make up in his bathroom. The body spray was left on the side and when i opened the draw to find hand soap there was foundation ...
A. 4 December 2015: "Its really put me off him now as honesty and trust is a big thing for me"... but you just 'happened' to open a drawer to find some hand soap? While you were at it did you find anything interesting in his medicine cabinet?
OK- you've got competit... (read in full...)
I consider myself a straight male, but I have this urge to be sexual with a man, what do I do?
Q. I consider myself a straight male, had a few girlfriends and only find women attractive and view as partners. But I have this urge to be sexual with a man, to be as I know it as a bottom, there's just something that really excites me, I don't want ...
A. 15 September 2015: You're at very least bisexual, so admit that to yourself, take things from there and have fun deciding.... (read in full...)
Has anyone else had a misunderstanding stemming from text messages?
Q. Thank you in advance to all who take the time to respond to this question. It is summer and everyone is busy so thank you. I have had a major text argument with a long time friend. The problem with text is people can get confused about the tone. Th...
A. 10 August 2015: "Doesn't want to park her car downtown. Doesn't want to use the subway". She's probably developed agoraphobia since you last spoke to her, and has become nervous about going out. Of course she'd never mention this, knowing full well it's crazy but ... (read in full...)
How do I get her to be more attentive to my needs?
Q. So I've been with my gf for a few months now. We started to progress things sexually. But it all seems focussed around here really. I spend a lot of time getting her off with fingers / oral, and all the lead up to it to warm her up - paying ...
A. 10 August 2015: She might just be selfish. At university I had an early 20-something g/f when I was 19 who kept saying she 'didn't know what to do' when I'd politely ask for a bit of reciprocation after she'd climaxed through manual stimulation. Finally after ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my girlfriend that my sexual needs do matter?
Q. In college I had a friend named "Jon." He was a stage actor and while he was not conventionally handsome he was a leading man in the style of Gérard Depardieu. He was a decent guy and he had a lot a women interested in him at various points. ...
A. 7 August 2015: My own much beloved wife participates very happily in all of the activities you mentioned, and enjoys them very much. We've been together for over ten years and she doesn't 'acquiesce'; instead very often she'll instigate enthusiastically. There is ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my girlfriend that my sexual needs do matter?
Q. In college I had a friend named "Jon." He was a stage actor and while he was not conventionally handsome he was a leading man in the style of Gérard Depardieu. He was a decent guy and he had a lot a women interested in him at various points. ...
A. 6 August 2015: You are far too young to remain enmeshed in a situation like this. Part ways with her politely but decisively- it won't be difficult, because she's not actually into you very much. Then find someone with whom you can cavort properly. Repeat as ... (read in full...)
Why was my wife so good to her cheating ex partners but I have to beg for sex?
Q. My wife and I are very happily married. However, in the past she was involved in very emotionally abusive relationships in the past where she put up with a lot of cheating and verbal abuse. She told me that she always tried to give more of herself ...
A. 16 June 2015: Your wife is the type for whom emotional drama is the competitive spur to sexual performance. No marriage is as exciting as a love affair, and I have a lot of experience with both genres.
You two have achieved 'the deep, deep peace of the doub... (read in full...)
Straight guy getting turned on by looking at another man's junk?
Q. My girlfriend has always had a fantasy of a guy joining us during sex. Recently I finally have in and agreed but still uneasy about it. That night she found a guy through an agency. He had a huge dick and after my gf had her fun, he began to jerk ...
A. 22 May 2015: Men who get excited by the thought of having sex with men are not straight, but rather bi at very least.... (read in full...)
Bondage and bringing it up to my partner?
Q. hello i always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner? thank u ...
A. 4 March 2015: OP, have a quiet evening in, a glass of wine each (and definitely no more than that) then chat to your significant other about wanting to feel safely at his mercy before directing him to your scarf drawer. ... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 4 March 2015: Always remember that whenever a man leaves his wife for his mistress, a vacancy is automatically created.... (read in full...)
I'm a big man with a small penis. Will women laugh at me?
Q. I know this sounds a bit cliche but it has been troubling me for a long time and I need honest answers. I'm 21 , 6'3" tall, 190 pounds, athletic and I easily attract girls but I have problem that has been worrying me for a long time, I fit in the ...
A. 7 January 2015: In my youth I had the opposite problem- short, skinny (did not weigh above 125 lbs. until my early 30s) and prematurely (aged 24) partially bald but with a disproportionate dong. I have, by necessity, a good personality, but nevertheless it ... (read in full...)
She complains about masterbating and about porn. But she never wants to initiate sex. What's a guy supposed to do?
Q. Hi , what can I do about my girlfriend of 7 months ? She insists i'm not to watch porn when I masterbate but declines my advances to initiate sex? Just the other day I tried it on with her and she had a go at me stating all I'm ever interest...
A. 29 December 2014: You don't have a high sex drive, you are simply a teenage boy with a normal sex drive. Life is ridiculous- when we learn the use of firearms our parents give us a BB gun, then as we acquire safety and proficiency, a .22 and so on up.
Men, ... (read in full...)
I am heatbroken there was no compromise or compassion!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 weeks. Things were going so well until yesterday evening. He invited me to a wedding and I gladly accepted the invitation (the bride and groom wanted to meet me too) The wedding was a sunrise one so it ...
A. 16 November 2014: There was no compromise or compassion- on your part. After three weeks you wanted to remake him entirely. I think he's had a rather fortunate escape.... (read in full...)
Herbal supplements for suppressing male libido?
Q. I'm 18 years old, straight, and have never had a girlfriend, this hasn't bothered me until recently when I've begun to notice that my sex drive has seemed to increase as of lately. Now I realize that for most men an increased/regular sex drive is a ...
A. 16 November 2014: Your urges are normal; your desire to suppress them is not. Work on overcoming your normal adolescent shyness, learn to interact with women, find one to sleep with, and dare I say it, just let yourself grow up.... (read in full...)
Do you think his expectations may include sex on this fun weekend he's arranged?
Q. Hi. I'm getting a divorce and incidentally met a very old colleague from about 15 ago. He's invited me to join him in another city to watch a big football game and generally a weekend together which I accepted. He's booked the hotel, I haven't...
A. 22 October 2014: Sex is definitely on his agenda. If even the possibility of sleeping together isn't on yours, don't disappoint him or be a factor in the potential unpleasantness by accompanying him that weekend; this isn't an ordinary coffee date.
That being sa... (read in full...)
As an adult do you discuss your sex life with your parents?
Q. As adults, do you discuss any of the details of your sex life with either (or both) of your parents? Is it normal for a parent to want to know about your sex life? I am 23 years old. I recently started dating a new guy exclusively a few weeks ago,...
A. 17 October 2014: If you can keep a straight face/not vomit ask her very earnestly for explicit tips on oral sex, pointing out reasonably that she must have gone down on your father. If she declares she never had done anything like that, wonder aloud if your father ... (read in full...)
The Perfect date to impress her? Any good ideas for an awesome first date, please?
Q. So I have a friend who i'm really starting to like but the only way in I have with her is that we agreed at some point in the future we will go on a date. We get on so well and I think if I could just organize the perfect date that the rest wil...
A. 12 October 2014: I remember my own 'average teenage male' kitchen skills at 16 or 17. Don't try to cook her anything! The potential for disaster is infinite, especially in the family kitchen with your mother around shaking her head as you destroy/cremate ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he's not sexually attracted to me because I put to much pressure on him
Q. I'm 23 and my bf who is 27 won't have sex or even make out with me. we were both each other's first, and we've been going out for almost 2 1/2 years. The few times that we have "had sex" were only mins long because something would interrupt us and ...
A. 12 October 2014: I suspect he's either asexual or gay and in denial. Either way, you deserve someone who will make you happier.... (read in full...)
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